2. Characteristics of Internet Chat
• Anonymity
• Deception
• Disinhibition
• Asynchronous
• Multiple Respondents Simultaneously
• Role Play and Impersonation
5. Deception
• Females Lie to Males About….
• What They’re Doing
• What They’re Wearing
• To Keep Their Partner Happy
• To Keep the Relationship Alive
Drouin, et al (2014) Love the Way You Lie: Sexting
Deception in Romantic Relationships
6. Online Disinhibition Effect
• The Online World is not Real
• People Do Not Present as Their Real Selves
• Alterations Can Include
• Age
• Gender
• Appearance
• Sexual Proclivities
• Suler, “Online Disinhibition Effect,” (Cyber Psychology and Behavior,
2004)
7. Asynchronous
• Textual Conversations Can Take Place over
Extended Periods of Time
• Possible to Sound Highly Interested and
Available
• Chatterers May In Fact Be Participating in
Multiple Simultaneous Conversations
• May Engender a “Popcorn Brain”
• Reduced Attention Span
8. Age Role Play
• Co-Create a Fantasy
• Play as if a “Boy” or a “Girl”
• Implications Might Include
• Parental Restrictions
• Homework
• Search for Guidance from a Savvy Daddy
• Real Boys and Girls Are
• Under 18
• Would NEVER REVEAL their Real Age
9. De-Masking
• Effort to Uncover Who is in Fact Behind the
Screen
• Request Photographs
• Attempt Phone Conversation
• Arrange an In-Person Meeting
10. Blocking vs Offers
• “Offers” Encourage Conversation
• Blocking Kills the “Scene”
• The Ultimate Block Ends All Contact
• Accepting an “Offer” Enlarges the Scene
• Falling Offline is De Riguer for Internet Chat
Amongst Uncommitted Strangers
11. Dating Before the Internet
• Dances, Parties, Friends
• Getting Fixed Up
• Matchmakers
• Arranged Marriages
• Magazine and Newspaper Personals
• Slow replies with handwritten letters and printed
photographs
• Phone/Chat Dating
• Fees for men; free for ladies
12. Online Dating
• Matching becomes so efficient and the
process so enjoyable that marriage could
become uninteresting
• Threaten Dreams of Monogamy by offering
up endless possible others to choose from
• Perusing more interesting than settling with one
• Easy to land a first date…and ever so difficult to
get to a second one
31. Why Text/Sext is
So Interesting
• Personal
• Kicks up dopamine levels
• Can co-create a personal pornography
• Conveys Immediacy and Importance
• Email has become largely impersonal spam
• Transmits information efficiently
• Locations, Times, Particulars
• Easy to include photos
• Especially fun and suggestive one
• Last bastion for originality
• Assistants can be hired to tweet and post to Facebook, but for most of us
texting is our own business
35. Fantasy Chat
• Assessment
• Flirtation
• Foreplay
• Seduction
• Exaggerations
• Distortions
• Entertainment
• A Co-Created Pornography
• End in itself
36. Sext Fantasy Role Play
• Discuss activities that could happen
• Some never will…just shared fantasy
• Safe arena to explore and tantalize
• Share suggestive photos
• Co-create possible moments and scenes
• Discover common interests
• Uncover new possibilities
37. Erotic Negotiation Sexting
Will you tie me up?
Yes! And then have my way with you!!
I’m creaming with excitement
I can’t wait to kiss you all over
Is it okay if I scream really loud?
Baby, I want to hear you scream and cum all over
me
40. The Downsides
• Loss of in-person social skills
• Less need to be articulate, focused or even
interested
• “Sup” and “Hey” don’t require much interest or
initiative
• Pressure to respond quickly to texts
• Little space to contemplate and sincerely reflect and
share
41. The Upsides
• The Internet can be an accessible venue for
busy and shy people to meet possible
partners
• Easy access to people around the world
• Easy contact with intimates while travelling
• Depending on the skills of those texting –
much can in fact be discussed.
42. Conclusions
• Social Media Enables Easy Access to Potential
Partners
• Texting/Sexting Popular Medium for Erotic
Negotiation
• Fantasy Role Play
• Age Play by Consenting Adults (over 18)
• Assess Common Interests
• Co-Created Personal Pornography
• Can Exit/Block Easily
• Mutual Interest/Pleasure Required to Continue