This is a condensed slide deck from my Winter 2020 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Winter 2020

2. Attendance
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3. Attendance
It matters a lot
Pairs & small groups every class
Your presence affects other students
Unexcused absence = Drop one full grade
More than one unexcused absence = a grade of U

4. Class #
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5. Beginnings
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6. Intro 25 mins
An exercise 25 mins
Coaching tools 10 mins
Partnerships 40 mins
Logistics 5 mins
Today’s agenda
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7. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

8. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

9. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

10. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
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11. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
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12. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
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13. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

14. If you can’t hear
me…
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15. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients
matters to me…

16. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 18 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

17. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Particularly during times of transition
Professional & personal domains
self-coaching?

18. Conceptual
frameworks
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19. Conceptual
Positive psychology
Neuroscience
Philosophy
However…
frameworks

20. No algorithms
Algorithm =
Unambiguous specifications to accomplish a task
Only heuristics

21. No algorithms
Heuristic =
Practical, imperfect approach to problem-solving
Only heuristics

22. No algorithms
The ART of self-coaching
The answer to most questions…
Only heuristics

23. It depends
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24. Self-coaching is
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SOCIAL

25. Self-coaching is
You’ll reflect outside of class
Class will be highly interactive
Pairs & small groups every class
SOCIAL

26. Photo by Donnie Ray James [link]
Awkward?

27. Photo by Stephen Haas [link]
A nudge,
not a shove

28. Joyful learning
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29. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

30. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

31. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

32. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

33. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Learn to avoid the tipping point

34. Coaching tools
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35. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

36. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way to offer support?

37. Modes of inquiry
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38. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

39. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

40. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Challenge their narrative
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

41. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

42. Ask better
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questions

43. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

44. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
Advocacy ≠ Coaching
questions

45. Ask better
A tip…
Ask one question & stop
questions

46. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

47. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

48. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ Listening
How they feel > What you hear

49. Listening skills
Focused attention > Time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact & body language
Eliminate distractions
No multi-tasking

50. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston

51. Empathy &
shame
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

52. Empathy &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
shame

53. Empathy &
Shame  Creates distance
Empathy  Creates closeness
shame

54. Empathy &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
shame

55. Empathy &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
shame

56. Empathy &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)
shame

57. For more tools…
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58. For more tools…
Today’s optional readings
Course archive on my site (link on Canvas)

59. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
Everything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings are PDFs or websites
Bulk download all course files (Canvas Tips)
Canvas issues? Contact Paul Mattish

60. Course logistics
Any other issues? Contact me

61. Grading
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62. Grading
Attendance
Weekly assignments
Pass/fail with permission

63. Written work
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64. Written work
Weekly assignments (700 words, maximum)
Assignments are late after Tues 9pm
Not accepted after Wed 5pm

65. Written work
The content is up to you*
*Look ahead to the upcoming class
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts, requirements

66. Written work
4 grading criteria
Timely Submission
Depth of Personal Learning
Conceptual Rigor
Overall Quality

67. How to get an LP
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68. How to get an LP
1 unexcused absence OR
2 unsubmitted assignments OR
3 late assignments (after Tues 9pm)

69. 1:1 Meetings
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70. 1:1 Meetings
Appointments: Link on Canvas
Optional (No impact on your grade)
Thursdays 10am-2pm
Up to 2 meetings
B206 or B308

71. For next time…
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72. Change
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73. Change
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Content is up to you but look ahead
All readings are on Canvas
Pads & Sharpies, please
If you drop, email me