This is a condensed slide deck from my Winter 2020 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html

1. The art of
Photo by ezioman [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 2: CHANGE
Winter 2020

2. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
A reminder…

3. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
Working
agreements

4. I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
Working
agreements

5. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

6. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

7. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

8. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
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9. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

10. Mental models
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Our perceptions shape reality
How we define experiences
How we see ourselves

11. Kurt Lewin & Edgar Schein
Why is change so hard?
Why do we resist it?
Change
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12. Behavior is stable
We’re frozen in patterns
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

13. Driving forces favor change
Restraining forces resist it
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

14. Patterns keep these forces balanced
Change requires unfreezing
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

15. Driving force = Survival anxiety
I must change in order to
to achieve my goals
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

16. Restraining force = Learning anxiety
Change means a new identity
or loss of self-esteem
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

17. Increase survival anxiety to change?
Or decrease learning anxiety?
Both are necessary
Change
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18. Three steps to unfreezing
1. Disconfirmation
Dissatisfaction created
by confounding data
Necessary but insufficient
(Dismissal, denial, blame)
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

19. Three steps to unfreezing
2. A little survival anxiety
Confounding data =
I need to change
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

20. Three steps to unfreezing
3. Psychological safety
Critical to overcoming
defensiveness & denial
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

21. Threat from survival anxiety must
be balanced by sufficient safety
to decrease learning anxiety
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

22. Change =
Psychological safety
Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety
Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

23. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

24. Photo by Donnie Ray James [link]
Awkward?

25. Photo by Mike Disharoon [link]
Carol Dweck, Stanford
A mental model about ourselves
How do we perceive our abilities?
How do we perceive our mistakes?
Mindset

26. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Abilities Inherent Plastic
Mistakes Flaws Opportunities
Response Negative Neutral
characteristics

27. Mindset
Adapted from Carol Dweck [link]
Fixed Growth
Agency Diminished Heightened
Seeking Approval Challenges
Risk Averse Tolerant
consequences

28. Change, mindset
& self-coaching
Signs of a fixed or growth mindset?
Recognize it as a mental model
One to challenge or affirm

29. Change, mindset
A fixed mindset can be comforting
Letting go can be threatening
Change requires safety
& self-coaching

30. Change, mindset
Mistakes & setbacks = Learning opportunities
New attitude or behavior ≠ New identity
Self-definition = Work-in-progress
& self-coaching

31. A reminder...
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32. Coaching tools
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33. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

34. Coaching tools
Ask
Humble: Open-ended questions
Diagnostic: Focus their attention
Confrontational: Challenge their narrative

35. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen
Hearing ≠ Listening
Make them feel heard

36. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Not “Look on the bright side”
Or “My problem’s worse!”
Or “Here’s some advice”

37. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Avoid judgments
Sense & validate emotions
Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)

38. Photo by John Trainor [link]
Goals

39. Goals support performance when…
We feel unconflicted
We feel committed
We feel capable
Goals

40. Goals
When do goals get in the way?
Focus on failure  feeling of threat
Learning matters more than execution
Diminished enjoyment & intrinsic motivation

41. Goals &
self-coaching
Goals as “prescription medicine”
Generate initial momentum
Get curious about setbacks

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Grit

43. Grit
Angela Duckworth, Univ. of Pennsylvania
Who succeeds and why?

44. Grit
Perseverance matters
Long-term stamina > Short-term intensity

45. Grit
Positive correlation with achievement
Negative correlation with talent
More talent = Less persistence?

46. Grit
Deliberate practice  Achievement
Grittier people practice more
Achievers = Talent + grit?

47. Grit &
Tentative findings
Growth mindset & optimism are key
Upcoming classes: Emotion & Resilience
self-coaching

48. Grit &
Can grit be cultivated?
Interest, purpose & hope
self-coaching

49. Grit &
One clear conclusion…
Willpower alone is insufficient
We need help (structures, habits, routines)
self-coaching

50. To sum up
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Safety  Change  Growth mindset
A (potential) virtuous cycle
Grit may be a by-product

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Self-coaching

52. Photo by lian xiaoxiao [link]
Self-coaching
Our mental models of ourselves matter
An ongoing dialogue is essential
Coaching, journaling, reflection

53. For next time…
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54. Photo by Philip Bird [link]
Attention

55. Bring your phones
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

56. Other items…
Slides posted on my site
Weekly assignment due Tues 9pm
Access my comments via Canvas Tips
Today’s 1:1s in B308 (not the usual location)