1. Hope as Resiliency Factor by Tammy Dyer, MSW
Authoring this section for the Empowerment Magazine has quickly flooding through my despair. Instead
turned into a huge blessing for me. I am delighted to know there of dying, I learned how to live with
are so many of us dedicated to infusing ourselves and our com- hope as my guiding light. When
munity with strength and well-being. things get tough, as they do for all of
us, I am able to look at the life I have
However, due to a series of sad events that have transpired since lived since that day and know that
the last publishing, I find I am struggling to find the right words to whatever I need to walk through, it is
say. While my vision for this segment is to be positive and uplift- worth it. By living instead of dying I
ing, I am also keenly aware that life is hard and sometimes very get to experience so much joy that I
painful. So I find myself digging deeper in my quest to bring us all would have completely missed.
a little closer to realizing our own resilient potential.
One of the brightest lights in my life is my grandson, who was
Wikipedia reports Psychological Resilience as the positive capac- born after the death of his father.
ity of people to cope with stress and adversity. So what precisely
is this “positive capacity” that gives us the strength to try one more I have a close, loving relationship with him today that I would have
time when really all we want to do is give up? In my last article I completely missed. I have come to a place of recovery through
mentioned a number of factors that contribute to resiliency such hope and faith, and no longer feel the overwhelming depression
as spirituality, adequate support, and the ability to see one‟s prob- that had haunted me throughout my life until that moment of com-
lems as solvable. And I also talked about hope. Hope is the spark plete despair. I no longer live in the pain of the past, but in the
that ignites the process of change. hope of the future. I realize just how terribly my death by suicide
would have affected the people I most love, especially my grand-
In my life, hope came when I saw others overcoming the same son who is now 24 years old and who has been able to see his
obstacles I had been struggling with for so long. I recall the story father through my eyes. I know today that when emotional pain
of a woman who was my dear friend some years back. She car- comes calling that I can have faith that it will pass. I know the only
ried with her an energy that just naturally attracted those who way to get through it is to go through it rather than over, under, or
were seeking spiritual strength. She radiated love and compas- around it. Then it is behind me and I don‟t have to meet it again
sion, and her eyes always twinkled. To know her was to love her. around the corner.
To know her well was to understand her miracle. You see, years
before she had pushed a shopping cart around downtown Sacra- Life is challenging, but there is so much good in living each day as
mento, wearing every piece of clothing she owned, and talking to it comes, understanding through faith and hope that each chal-
things that only she could see. lenge is worth meeting in order to get to the next happiness, which
may be only a moment away. To come from such despair to
Once she overcame her difficulties she carried with her a powerful where I am now, embracing the realities of life and knowing noth-
ing is worth dying prematurely for, I can only describe as „true
gift that cannot be learned through formal education, professional freedom.‟”
experience, or therapeutic intervention. She had the power of ex-
ample and with that the gift of hope. The hope is this: “If she can As our conversation came to an end, I asked my friend if she was
do it, so can I” and “if I can do it, so can you.” Every scary shame- able to turn her life around all by herself. She replied “Absolutely
ful place I had been, she had been; but more importantly, she not. I had to reach out for help and then be willing to accept the
wasn‟t there anymore. help that was offered to me. I had reached out for help before but
had not been willing to accept what was offered. This time I really
This past month has not been an easy one for the people in my listened and took the suggestions offered and things got better.”
life that I care about. We have all been reminded of the pain
caused by the loss of hope. We attended the funerals of two peo- To anyone reading this article, I want to remind you that
ple, both of whom took their own lives. Although I was not espe- “hopeless” is just a feeling and feelings are not facts. Feelings
cially close to either of them, I was there to support those they left pass if given time. Please do not give up before your miracle ar-
behind. rives. Your moment of “true freedom” may be closer that you
think. If you are hurting today, please tell someone. As human
I have spent the days since then trying to better understand the beings, we are not meant to carry our burdens alone. No matter
depth of pain that comes from the loss of hope because I know
what the voice in your head says, you do matter, life can get bet-
that someone reading this article will be standing on the edge of
the cliff trying to decide if it is worth it to even try anymore. If that ter, and help is available.
is you, please keep reading this article.
Author’s Bio
I have another dear friend who made a very serious suicide at-
Tammy received her MSW from CSUS in 2007. She specializes in
tempt some years back after the death of her adult son. She talks
Mental Health and is committed to the Consumer Movement. She
about the hopelessness of that moment and about being thor-
believes strongly in the Recovery Model and is committed to help-
oughly convinced that her family and friends would be better off
ing our community overcome misconceptions that lead to the stig-
without her. She was very close to the edge but then something
matization of persons with mental health issues. She is currently
happened that changed her mind. Let me have her tell you in her
employed by Consumers Self Help as their Clinical Director where
own words: “I thought I heard the voice of my son, who had died
she enjoys teaching therapeutic classes. She is proud mother of
about ten years before, pleading with me not to take my life.
two adult sons. Her passion is photographing blossoms.
Whether I actually „heard‟ his voice I cannot say, but I felt hope