2. Abstract To find out why individuals start emotionally abusing, how to cope with it’s aftermath and the connection with Borderline Personality Disorder
3. Overview of Emotional Abuse Nine different types of abuse: Abusive Expectations Aggressing Verbal Assault Constant Chaos Denying Dominating Minimizing Unpredictable Responses Emotional Blackmail
5. Aggressing Most often referred to as verbal abuse, the abuser demoralizes the victim by name-calling, threatening, blaming, ordering, and accusing (Hein, 2010)
6. Verbal Assault A more severe form of Aggressing. Occurs when the abuser berates, belittles, threatens, screams, and criticizes the victim.
7. Constant Chaos Occurs because the abuser likes a constant state of chaos. Also common in alcoholics. (Hein, 2010)
8. Denying When the abuser denies an individuals emotional needs, it is done with the objective to punish, humiliate, or hurt. This form of emotional abuse is especially damaging as it can make the victim question your own perception and experiences, and eventually, your own mind (Hein, 2010).
9. Dominating The abuser needs to control every aspect of the victims life. Will resort to threats to get their own way.
10. Minimizing A less severe form of denial Trivializes, which makes the victim feel unimportant
12. Emotional Blackmail Uses a system of threats and punishment, to play on fear, compassion, and guilt to control (Forward and Frazier, 2010) If the power play doesn’t work, then the abuser will resort to threats to get what they want (Hein, 2010).
14. Fantasizing First, the abuser will fantasize about how he will abuse the victim. He will think about how he will make the victim pay for whatever it is that he thinks has gone wrong (Smith and Segal, 2010).
15. Set Up Setting up the victim involves the abuser mentally putting the plan of abuse in action. This is the abusers justification of the imminent abuse (Smith and Segal, 2010).
16. Abuse The abuse may aggression, belittling, violence, silence, or whatever other emotional weapon he chooses to use. Once the abuse is over, he begins to feel guilty.
17. Excuses Due to feeling guilty, the abuser then moves into the excuses portion of the cycle. He begins to rationalize the behavior and come up with a catalog of reasons as to why the abuse happens, will blame the victim, but will not take responsibility for his actions (Smith and Segal, 2010).
18. Normal Behavior Once the abuser feels content with the excuses he has placed on the victim, the abuser returns to his normal behavior. He may act as if nothing ever happened and may even be charming and charismatic (Smith and Segal, 2010).
19. Continuation of the Abuse Cycle The cycle of abuse will continue It must continue so that the effects will impact the victim. An emotional abuser refuses to move on from the cycle.
21. Humiliation Includes insults, name calling, shaming, and put-downs in public. These tactics erode self esteem and make the victim feel powerless. (Smith and Segal, 2010)
22. Isolation Cuts off the victim from the outside world. To increase dependence on the abuser (Smith and Segal, 2010)
23. Threats Threats are used as a scare tactic to make the victim bend to the abusers will. (Smith and Segal, 2010)
24. Intimidation The abuser may intimidate the victim by scaring her into submission. This is a clear demonstration of the abuser communicating what will happen if the victim does not obey. (Smith and Segal, 2010)
25. Connection between Emotional Abuse and Borderline Personality Disorder Researchers are unsure of the exact causes of BPD Studies indicate both environmental and biological connections Studies also indicate that a overactive amygdala can be to blame for BPD
26. Biological Connection Like other psychological disorders, individuals who have been diagnosed with BPD sometimes have parents who have BPD. Also, individuals who are diagnosed with BPD have typically been emotionally abused as a child (Lobbestael and Arntz, 2009).
27. What is the Amygdala? The amygdala plays a huge role in stimulating emotions, regulating emotions, and emotional memory (Forward and Frazier, 2010).
28.
29. Study on the Amygdala and its Connection with BPD A study conducted in the Department of Psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine on the link between the amygdala and BPD concluded that individuals with BPD have higher activity in their amygdala than those individuals that are non BPD.
30. Overview of Amygdala Study The study featured a total of 30 individuals 15 diagnosed with BPD 15 not diagnosed The participants were showed pictures of faces with various expressions
31. Overview Cont… All participants were showed the pictures of the expressions while undergoing an fMRI.
32. Results of fMRI Individuals diagnosed with BPD showed higher activity in the left amygdala on an fMRI compared to those participants who were not diagnosed with BPD (Donegan, et al. 2003).
33. Conclusion of the Study This information suggests that individuals with BPD have more activity in their amygdala when presented with stimuli. The amygdala, the study concluded, played a huge part in emotional dysregulation, hyperviligence, and disturbed interpersonal relations (Donegan, et al. 2003), as does emotional abuse.
34. Etiology of Emotional Abuse Emotional abusers seem to have correlations in personality traits, past experiences, and behavior patterns. Emotional abusers are typically raised in emotionally abusive environments and learn the behavior from dealing with their own abuse that they have received (Hein). Typically, abusing is the only way that the abuser knows how to deal with their own emotions.
35. Effects of Emotional Abuse Some research states that emotional abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse, and even more so because the scars can run so deep (Smith and Segal, 2010).
36. Effects of Emotional Abuse cont.. The affects of abuse on the victim varies by individual and level of abuse. Effects can be emotional or can be as far reaching as the victim’s attachment style in relationships. Some emotional abuse can be so severe that it can even affect the victim’s physical health.
37. Emotional Effects Reduces self worth Brings down self esteem Diminishes self concept The abuser accomplishes this goal by repeated attacks, using variations of emotional abuse.
38. Effects of Abuse on Physical Health One study shows that women who were emotionally abused had a significant increase in health problems when compared to women who did not report emotional abuse, yet had a lower rate of health problems than women who reported emotional abuse coupled with another form of abuse (Yoshihama, Horrocks, and Kamano, 2009).
39. Effects of Abuse on Physical Health cont.. However, women who were emotionally abused reported the highest rate of functional limitations such as carrying out usual activities and walking (Yoshihama, Horrocks, and Kamano, 2009).
40. Effects of Abuse on Mental Health There is a positive correlation between emotional abuse and the victim experiencing anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, and disassociation (Arehart-Treichel, 2010)
41. Effects of Abuse on Attachment Style Attachment style is affected due to emotional abuse having such a negative effect on self esteem; Low self esteem can alter the attachment style, thereby, affecting the outcome of the relationship (Weston, 2008).
42. Dealing with Aftermath Coping with the aftermath of emotional abuse involves a process of realization that takes strength and diligence. Realizing that the abuse happened and that it is not your fault is the first step in moving forward and moving on.
43. Conclusion According to my research, verbal and emotional abuse is a form of aggression and is used mostly as a coping mechanism when the abuser is in a stressful event (Cameron, 1998). More specifically, it is a powerful form of manipulation that the abuser uses to control the other person (Forward, 1997).
44. References Donegan,N. Sanislow, C. Blumberg, H. Fulbright, R. Lacadie, C. Skudlarski, P. Gore, J. Olson, I. McGlashan, T. Wexler, B. 2003. Amygdala hyperreactivity in borderline personality disorder: implications for emotional dysregulation. Bio Psychiatry. Volume 1. Frazier, and Forward, S. 2007. Out of the FOG - Personality Disorder Support. Emotional Blackmail. Retrieved on December 1st, 2010 from: http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonBeha viors/EmotionalBlackmail.html
45. References Cont. Hein, S. 2006. Emotional Abuse. Retrieved on December 1st, 2010 from: http://eqi.org/ Smith, M, and Segal. 2010. Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships. Retrieved on November 23rd, 2010 from: http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm Weston, R. 3/2008. Insecure Attachment Mediates Effects of Partners’ Emotional Abuse and Violence on Women’s Relationship Quality. Springer Science. Volume 1.
46. References Cont. Yoshihama, M., Horrocks, J., Kamano, S. 4/2009. The Role of Emotional Abuse in Intimate Partner Violence and Health Among Women in Yokohama, Japan. American Journal of Public Health. Volume 99, Number 4.
47. References Cont. Cameron, L. 1998. Verbal Abuse: A Proactive Approach. Nursing Management. Forward, S. 1997. Emotional Blackmail. Peter Fox Couples Therapist Canberra. Loring, M. 1994. Emotional Abuse. Lexington Books. New York, NY.
48. References Cont. Lobbestael, J. and Arntz, A. 2008. Emotional, cognitive and physiological correlates of abuse- related stress in borderline personality disorder. Behaviour Research and Therapy. Volume 48.
49. Chart References: Chart #1 and #2: Smith, M, and Segal. 2010. Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships. Retrieved on November 23rd, 2010 from: http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm Image retrieved from: Frazier, and Forward, S. 2007. Out of the FOG - Personality Disorder Support. Emotional Blackmail. Retrieved on December 1st, 2010 from: http://www.outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/EmotionalBlackmail.html
Notes de l'éditeur
Emotional abuse occurs when an individual is hurt by a partner’s actions or words. Examples of emotional abuse are:When an abuser explodes from anger.When an abuser punishes the victim by giving the silent treatment.It is important to note that there is a distinction between abuse and everyday disagreements that couples get into. Every couple has disagreements that result in silence for a couple of hours,emotional abuse goes farther. This research will focus specifically on emotional blackmail and its various aspects. Emotional abuse is a condition that affects countless individuals around the world on a daily basis. Yet, it’s not a medical or physical condition or a disability, and it is completely preventable.
Not only does the abuser set unreasonable expectations on the victim, he also demands attention and that his needs come first. No matter how much attention the abuser receives, it is never enough (Hein, 2010) Examples of abusive expectations are: Expectations of all free time being spent with the abuser? Frequent demands for sex. Expects for everything to be put aside so that the abusers needs are tended too. Constant criticism because you don’t tend to the abusers needs. (Hein 2010)
The abuser uses aggression to take a one up stance so that he can undermine and invalidate the victim. By doing this, the abuser is chip away at equality in the relationship (Hein, 2010). The abuser can disguise aggressing by using it in the form of helping. He can question the sincerity of the help that is being offered to him by analyzing, proving, and offering solutions to someone that is trying to provide genuine help. He accomplishes this by using a “I know best” tone (Hein, 2010).
A verbal assault occurs when the abuser spews out a slew of threats that berates and belittles the victim.
The abuser will start arguments on purpose so that they can be in a steady state of conflict. This abuser is addicted to drama. (Hein, 2010)
The abuser will use denying to deny your memory and perceptions. When the victim continually questions their own memory, perceptions, and sanity, this results in not only lowered self esteem, but makes the victim mistrust themselves (Hein 2010).Another form of denying is withholding. This is when the abuser refuses to listen or communicate, also known as the “silent treatment” (Hein, 2010).
Withholding Denying emotional needs Refusing to listen Refusing to communicate Withdrawing emotionally(Hein, 2010)
Minimizing belittles a reaction to an event that occurred by telling the victim things like: “you’re too sensitive”, “you’re exaggerating” or “you’re blowing this out of proportion” (Hein, 2010).Makes the victim feel like their perceptions are faulty and cannot be trusted (Hein, 2010).
When an abuser uses unpredictable responses, he will have radical changes in mood and/or unexpected outbursts of emotion (Hein, 2010).May say one thing and do anotherThis unpredictable behavior makes the victim feel on edge, always wondering what the next mood will bring. Results on the victim include:Feeling constantly off balance Full of anxietyConstantly scared(Hein, 2010)
The abuser will press the victims “buttons” to get what they want.Will threaten the relationship or to completely abandon the victim as a control mechanism (Hein, 2010) A blackmailer is typically one who likes to be in control and is usually struggling for control over the victim but, ironically, has little self control (Forward and Frazier 2010). Victims of emotional blackmailers are typically individuals who are bridge builders who are willing to forgo their values and restrictions in order to keep the peace with the abuser (Forward and Frazier, 2010).
Emotional abuse is a cycle of threats and punishment that is used as a powerful manipulation tool. It can start at any time, with any action or statement from the victim which triggers the abuse cycle. Chart Retrieved from: http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
The abuser will think about how he will make the victim pay for whatever it is that he thinks has gone wrong (Smith and Segal, 2010).
The abuser then moves on to setting up the victim; *MORE*
It is important to note that the abuser is not guilty for his behavior; he feels guilt only because he is afraid of getting caught for what he has done (Smith and Segal, 2010).
This behavior gives the impression that the abuser has changed and that the abuse won’t happen again (Smith and Segal, 2010).Normal behavior may go on for quite some time, but undoubtedly, the victim will say or do something that, to the abuser, is worthy of abuse; and rest assured, the cycle will start all over again.
We have all been called a name or had our feelings hurt by someone that affected us for a little while. However, we were able to move past the incident and move on. An emotional abuser refuses to move on; they know that in order to accomplish their goal of eroding the victims self worth, the abuse must continue. Especially in a relationship where the element of control is in question, in order for the abuser (to think) that he is maintaining control, the cycle will continue and become more frequent.
This tactic is used to entrap the victim and make them feel worthless so that they think that no one else will want them; so they will never leave. (Smith and Segal, 2010)
The abuser will isolate the victim from their family and friends.Eventually, the victim can become so isolated, she may even stop going to school or work. The abuser may make the victim ask for permission before leaving the isolated environment. (Smith and Segal, 2010)
The abuser may go as far as threatening the victims life, her family, her children or even pets. (Smith and Segal, 2010)
A demonstration can include a threatening look, gesture, destroying property, hurting pets/animals, or even displaying weapons. (Smith and Segal, 2010)
These two points establish both an environmental and biological etiology
The expressions that the individuals were shown were happy, sad, neutral, and fearful (Forward and Frazier, 2010).
The affects of abuse on the victim varies by individual and level of abuse, however, effects can be emotional or can be as far reaching as the victim’s attachment style in relationships. Some emotional abuse can be so severe that it can even affect the victim’s physical health.
For example, the abuser may use denying as a weapon, causing you to lose trust in your most precious survival instrument: your mind (Hein, 2010). Or, the abuser will use domination to make the victim lose trust in themselves by saying things like “you’re too sensitive” or “you’re blowing this out of proportion”, giving the victim the impression that their own perceptions are faulty (Hein, 2010).
Emotional abuse can also affect the overall health of the victim.
These effects are undoubtedly due to the never ending cycle of emotional abuse mentioned earlier in the presentation.
Coping with the aftermath will not happen overnight and will require the support of loved ones and/or therapy. It will not be easy coping with the damage that has been done, but the “transformation from victim to survivor” is possible (Loring, 1994).
The two bullets above are also reasons why emotional abuse can be considered brainwashing.
