This is my presentation to LACSHA--a public school for the arts. The students need to know how to differentiate prompts and how to advocate in all.

1. Communicating Your Story: Ten
Tips For Writing Powerful
College Application Essays
LACHSA FALL 2018
Rebecca Joseph
rjoseph@calstatela.edu
@getmetocollege
@allcollegeessay

2. How Important Are Essays?
1.Grades
2.Rigor of Coursework, School
3.Test Scores
4.Essays*
5.Recommendations-Teacher and/or Counselor
6.Activities-Sustained consistency, development,
leadership, and initiative
7.Special skills, talents, awards, auditions, portfolios,
community service and passions

3. Three Types
Personal story
Advocacy piece
Artistic development

4. The Power and Danger of Essays
1. Give me two reasons why admissions officers value
college application essays.
2. Give me two reasons why they often dread reading
the majority of them.

6. Essays=Opportunity
Share
Reflect
Stand Out

7. So….Tip 1
Tip 1. College essays are fourth in importance
behind grades, test scores, and the rigor of
completed coursework in many admissions office
decisions. Don’t waste this powerful
opportunity to share your voice and express
what you really offer to a college campus.
Great life stories make you jump off the page and
into your match colleges.

8. A New Paradigm
Tip 2.
Develop an overall
strategic essay writing
plan.
College essays should
work together to
help you communicate
key qualities and
stories not available
anywhere else in
your application.

9. Ultimately…admissions officers want to
know your…
Impact Initiative

10. Understand the Different
Types of Applications
Help students understand the landscape:
1)The Common Application
2) Large Public Universities
3) Private College Specific Applications
4) Other Systems (Conservatories, Coalition, etc.)

11. Four Major Application Types:
1. The Common Application
 Many private and some public American use the centralized
Common Application with their own Writing supplements
 More than 800 colleges use it.
 www.commonapp.org

12. Fall 2019 Prompts
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their
application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.2. The
lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when
you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the
experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted
your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to
solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of
personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could
be taken to identify a solution.
5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new
understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it
makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to
learn more?
7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a
different prompt, or one of your own design.

13. Charlotte Common Application
For the next week, even after a grueling nine hours of class, we dedicated our limited free time to
meticulous planning of the final film. While we didn’t necessarily agree upon everything, we respected
each other and pushed one another beyond our imagined creative limits. First of all, we did not have
actors at our disposal, so I was drafted to star in our silent 16MM short film. While I am not an
experienced actor, I honestly put our script into action. Whenever we filmed a scene that did not feature
me, I also operated the 16 MM Bolex. By working on both sides of the camera, I learned how critical both
the technical and creative aspects of filmmaking are as well as the power of teamwork, and became a
better filmmaker.
After using every roll of celluloid film, my partners and I waited days for it to be processed, knowing that
any mistake made during shooting would be permanent. When our unedited footage was returned along
with that of the boys, the professor projected all of the rolls for the entire class to watch. My partners and
I grabbed hands when our footage hit the screen. I shut my eyes at first and then opened them to a slew of
vivid images, each frame perfectly exposed.
I could tell you that I am most proud of how our footage came out the strongest of all the groups, but what
truly delights me is how I handled the circumstance. Rather than getting into a fight with my former
partner or his male peers or leaving the program, I challenged myself to focus on my work and let it stand
for itself. And it did.

14. Charlotte Common App
In the dorm common room, I watched different pairs debrief their final projects. Sitting alone, I pitched
ideas to myself, because just minutes earlier, my partner had stormed off, nonverbally ending our
brainstorming session. I beat myself up, questioning: Did I not listen to my partner? Were my ideas not
interesting to him? I continued mulling over the incident when I was approached by Katie, one of the
other two girls in the program. She disclosed shocking news she had overheard from the other boys: my
partner openly expressed his hatred towards us girls by declaring his belief that women had no place in
the film industry. My stomach dropped. I suddenly realized that I wasn’t failing as a filmmaker. I was
failing because I am a woman.
Only one week into a five week summer film program, I was randomly assigned my partner for a two
week assignment to produce a short film. After this appalling experience, I strolled down my dark dorm
hallway, which at that moment reminded me of the grim Overlook Hotel hallways in The Shining. The
other boys in my summer class had claimed that they neither shared nor condoned my partner’s
misogynistic notion. Yet they all admitted that they still did not defend us when they heard my partner
say such negative things about women in film. I tried thinking about how I would cope with this situation.
I had come to this program anticipating disciplined and productive education in different aspects of film
production, with no expectation of the complexities that awaited me. The film class I had completed at my
home school consisted of three other girls, our encouraging female teacher, and me. It was one of the
most supportive environments I had ever worked in. I realized that my summer class did not reflect this
environment, so rather than run away, I decided to recreate it.
The following day, my female classmates and I got permission from our professor to work together as a
trio. We made a pact: we would create a final project strong enough to challenge our classmate’s
sentiment about women in film.

15. Common Application Writing Supplements
Some long– U Penn, U
Chicago (300-650
words)
Some medium—Stanford
Some small— Columbia,
Brown
What matters to you and why?
When nine-year-old Esai stuffed a Camp Harmony baseball and mitt
into his pants, I asked him why. Didn't he know that stealing was
bad? His response surprised me: he needed to steal them if he
wanted to play baseball when he returned home.
For the past three summers I've been a volunteer counselor at Camp
Harmony, a one-week sleep-away camp for homeless and at-risk
children. Confronted with the harsh realities of their impoverished
lives, I began to understand the issues of poverty and crime in
America more deeply.
Earlier last summer I worked at Snak King, a food manufacturing
factory in East LA. It was hot, the workspaces were cramped, and the
tasks monotonous. I left each day with noodles for arms and an
amazement at the ceaseless effort my coworkers put into their taxing
jobs. They ignored the sweat in their eyes and kept their heads high.
Their jobs didn't include multi-million dollar business deals or
strolls down the red carpet, but in those isolated manufacturing
compartments, running their complex machinery, I thought those
factory workers were the most impressive people on earth.
Atticus Finch, in To Kill A Mockingbird, said, "You never really
understand a person until you consider things from his point of
view." We can't give every Esai a baseball glove or every Snak King
worker a less arduous job, but these experiences have taught me to
judge people less quickly and to work to better understand them and
their circumstances.

16. University of California
Fall 2018 is due
November 30.
Applicants must write 4
short 350 word max
essays.
Freshman can choose
from 8 prompts.

17. UC Insight Questions
Answer any 4 of the following 8 questions:
1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively
influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.
2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving,
original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express
your creative side.
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and
demonstrated that talent over time?
4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or
worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to
overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this
interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes
you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

18. UC Creativity-Dance
I express my creative side through dancing. At five years old, I began studying ballet, and a few years later, I started
studying contemporary dance. I have been a part of my school’s dance company since eighth grade. Each year, dancers
choreograph and perform in original dances that connect to a central theme. Besides developing our choreographic
capabilities, we also develop individual and collective dance skills.
Dance is a powerful outlet for me. I feel light, free and without stress whenever I step into the dance studio. I dance to
convey my personal beliefs and messages to the world. I think it is empowering that human beings can convey such
messages by using our bodies.
When I choreograph solos and group dances, I embed multiple levels. First, I think about the message I want to send to my
audience and what emotion/theme this dance revolves around. I use those emotions and themes to choose my music. After
deciding what piece of music I want to use for the dance, I improvise to see what type of movement my body feels is most
natural for the dance. I then introduce the steps to my dancers, and practice until it becomes innate.
During last year’s dance concert, I helped choreograph a dance that communicated the concert’s message about love and
peace. I first heard our music, Afraid by Nico, and then slowly began the choreography by improvising to the music in
different styles and remembering the message my dancers and I wanted to convey about the need to break through our
fears. With the message and music in mind, I choreographed my section and then merged my work with my two fellow
dancers. I loved offering my creativity to this incredible concert.
The beauty of dance is that it is a universal language. Although people may be from different countries, speak different
tongues, and live in different cultures, they can still be united and communicate through the universal language of dance.
Dance helps me express my creativity, which I hope will lead to more understanding, empathy and love in the world.

19. UC Greatest Skill-Art
My greatest skill is how I’ve learned to transform my pain into a healing art and learned how I want to help others in a
myriad of ways.
When I was 12, I contracted celiac disease and was in pain on the level of chemo patients for around three years, followed by
subsequent other contracted illnesses that also brought about chronic pain. These physical challenges didn’t begin to lessen
until I discovered the transformative use of art therapy.
While I was bedridden and healing, every time I made a midnight trip to the ER, I had my watercolors by my side. When
painting, I realized I was capable of being in pain and creating beauty, creating inspiration, creating joy. I found joy and awe
in watercolors of looming redwoods, or trembling aspens. Over time, I realized that even while living with chronic pain, I
experience incredible happiness in creation of art, and consequently, life is truly worthwhile. My joy for art related itself to
joy for life. I began to see more and more beautiful, joyous, and rosy parts of life each day, even when I was in pain.
My pain has made me stronger, and inspired me not only to create but also to help others. My experiences made me deeply
sympathetic to other children suffering from chronic pain. This past year I began to write letters to children with cancer,
filling them with watercolor illustrations of their favorite things, I would paint dinosaur astronauts or fairy princesses that
looked just like them. I believe that helping create joy in another’s life helps create more joy in this world, and even self
confidence so one can transform one’s own future.
I expanded this, putting my art in LA Counterculture, a teen led and made art show for students to express themselves and
their experiences through art. Through this culmination of self transformation through art, I not only help myself but also
my community and to make the world a better place. Through my experiences that have made me stronger, I am going to to
continue to change the world.

20. Four Major Application Types:
3 and 4. Other systems
Many conservatories have their own applications as
do many privates and publics.
Yet their applications for financial aid or academic
support programs add in those requirements.
Washington State, for example, several short essays
which they share with other state systems. Boston
Conservatory has one personal statement

21. FIT
Your essay should answer the following questions: What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are
you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your
experiences, activities and accomplishments. (No more than 750 words, please.) If you are a transfer
student, you will be prompted to submit information about your in-progress courses, including course
name and numbering and the name of the school you are currently attending.
Since I was a young girl, I always felt drawn to the fashion industry. Every child is influenced by her parents, but not every
child has a father that introduces her to the fashion industry at such an impressionable age. My father and his father
founded a men’s wholesale fashion distribution firm, and I’ve been attending trade shows with them since before I can I
remember, and I was always in awe of the beautiful designs that I would see. It was at these events that I knew where I was
meant to be.
When I start designing a fashion piece, I never know exactly how it will turn out. It begins with a single inspiration;
sometimes, I start with a template of a previous design. Then without really intending to change it, my mind goes to a place
where there are no clocks and there are no obligations, just my creativity and myself hanging out getting to know each
other. Sometimes 30 minutes pass. Sometime five hours. I start with one idea, and I slowly but surely amend the image in
my head and on the sketchpad until it becomes unrecognizable. I have one goal: to evolve my creation into an original
design.
I discovered my knack for design, ironically, because of a medical condition that brought me to a level of boredom due to my
being confined to bed. When I was 13, I began to suffer from a major leg clot that doctors still don’t understand the cause of,
but do help me to monitor and control. When my severe leg pains were diagnosed in middle school, normal life stopped for
me. I wasn’t allowed do sports, I had to be home every night at 8 for a shot, and I had so much more time to fill. So I found
fashion design as my relief, my release, my savior. If I couldn’t move my legs, I’d move my hands.

22. My passion for fashion has not waned or wavered since then. In fact, I have dedicated my whole life to
becoming a designer--taking classes at school, working with fashion mentors, and attending design
programs across the country. I run the annual fashion show fundraiser hosted by my school while I wear
my compression active, and no blood clot will stop me.
Like many fashion designers, I am inspired by things around me to create new pieces; these pieces
represent defining moments and pervasive cultural themes that characterize the values and aspirations I
have today. In addition to the familial influences toward fashion that I’ve experienced, I was lucky enough
to attend a school that encourages students to explore the arts and have taken every art course offered at
my school and have finally worked my way up to the current electives, Advanced Fashion Design and
Photography. Through these courses, I developed several skills, including sketching, painting, designing,
and sewing. In fact, my current ready-to-wear designs are inspired by original couture. Not only do I have
the capacity to create designs, but I also have the ability to manage and organize events. I demonstrate my
aptitude for business pragmatism annually as chair of our school’s student-run charitable fundraiser,
Fashion with Compassion.
I spent the summer of 2016 attending Parson’s intensive Design Arts program, where I created several
new pieces and received incredible feedback. I have also interned with Curve, a fashion retailer, as well as
London Fog, a fashion wholesaler, so I learned both sides of the trade. I want to major in fashion design
and work as a professional designer.

23. Develop A Master Chart
Tip 3. Keep a chart of all essays required by each
college, including short responses and optional
essays. View each essay or short response as a chance
to tell a new story and to share your core qualities.
I recommend three sheets.
 1. Major deadlines and needs. Break it down by the four
application types
 2. Core essays-Color code all the similar or overlapping essays.
 3. Supplemental essays. Each college has extra requirements
on the common application. Again color code similar types:
Why are you a good match for us? How will you add to the
diversity of our campus?

24. Write the Fewest
Yet Most Effective Essays…
Tip 4.
Find patterns
between colleges
essay requirements.
Use essays more
than once.

25. Where to Begin: Brainstorm

26. Individual and Collaborative

27. Positive Personality Traits

28. 5. Other Brainstorming Tips
Help them brainstorm
1.Make a resume.
2.Write about three of your major activities.
3.Reading model essays from actual college websites
4.Looking at other college’s essay prompts-U Chicago, Tufts
5.Creating a letter to future roommate or an amazing list of
what makes you you.
6.Looking at 5 top FB and Instagram Pictures
7.Reading models from other students
8.Do culture bags

29. What Did You Do Last Summer?

30. Into, Through, and Beyond Essay Approach
Tip 7. Follow Dr. Joseph’s Into, Through, and Beyond
approach.
It is not just the story that counts.
It’s the choice of qualities a student wants the college to
know about herself

31. Into,Through, and Beyond
Into
 It’s the way the reader can lead the reader into the piece—images, examples, context.
 Always uses active language: power verbs, crisp adjectives, specific nouns.
Through
 What happened…quickly…yet clearly with weaving of story and personal analysis
 Specific focus on the student
 Great summarizing, details, and images at same time
Beyond
 Ending that evokes key characteristics
 Conveys moral

32. Goal of Into Through Beyond
Share positive messages and powerful
outcomes.
Focus on impact, leadership, and initiative.
If you want to include challenges, lead
quickly to who you are now.
Some states can use only socio-economic
status, but not race, in admissions, but in
your essays, your voice and background can
emerge.

33. Write the Unexpected
I knelt on the ground, aching from the asphalt grinding into my dusty and
blackened knees. A piece of thick blue chalk in hand, with one fluid sweep of the
arm, and then another, I connected two paths, creating a loop, where one path
swung back and reconnected with itself. I stood up. Colorful lines intertwined with
each other, knotting, weaving, splitting off, and joining back together. Taking
careful steps, I walked over my creation, around the corner of a building, and
watched as it continued to stretch out towards one end of school. I spied the start,
looked back around the corner, and imagined the end.
A few middle-schoolers stood at the edge of my maze, eying one particular path
from their feet, all the way until they lost it, then returning to their school day and
continuing on to class. A pair of freshman walked the paths, twisting and turning,
often looping back around; careful to stay within the lines I had drawn. I walked
back to where I was working, picked out a new piece of yellow chalk, and quickly
broke an open end of a path into two open ends, then two into four, sweeping,
crossing over, then under one another, morphing into green when the yellow chalk
ran out.

34. “I did it!”
I looked up. One of the freshmen stood at the end of one of the numerous openings of my half finished
maze, arms raised above his head, spinning slowly in circles. Staring blankly at him was his
counterpart, still lost deep within the curls of the maze.
It was not for myself that I had drawn the maze. It was for the kids mindlessly walking from class to class,
staring at the asphalt under their feet as they thought about equations and essays. I created it so that
these kids would have another world to enter as they crisscrossed the school, letting their minds
wander to a land of color and art.
But just as easily as I can draw a chalk line on the ground, I can drowsily greet hundreds of students on a
misty morning, moisten the ground, and wash away my chalk line. My work with film is different
though. When I create films, I expect them to last forever. I expect to be able to dig them out of an old
dusty attic box, plug in a dusty and outdated DVD player and watch what I made. When I come up
with an idea, a thought, I expect that idea to be buried deep within the folds of my memory for
eternity, waiting to be rediscovered.
But not chalk. When using chalk, I expect whatever I make to be gone almost as soon as I draw it, which
makes whatever I create all the more precious. When I only have a few seconds, a few hours, a few
days to cherish something, those fleeting moments become all the more powerful. All I can do is work
to make the most beautiful creations possible and cherish them while they last.

35. Tip 8. Use active writing: avoid passive sentences and
incorporate power verbs. Show when possible; tell
when summarizing.
Tip 9. Have trusted inside and impartial outside
readers read your essays. Make sure you have no
spelling or grammatical errors.
Take the Time With These Essays

36. Essays Are One Piece of
The Applicant’s Quilt
Test
Scor
es
Grad
es
Rigor of
Coursew
ork
Activitie
s
Rec
Letters
Uniqu
e
passi
ons
and
potent
ial
Demonstra
ted
Interest

37. Final Thoughts
Tip 10. Most importantly, make yourself come alive
throughout this process. Write about yourself as
passionately and powerfully as possible. Be proud of your
life and accomplishments. Sell yourself!!!
Students often need weeks not days to write effective
essays. You need to push beyond stereotypes.
Admissions officers can smell “enhanced” essays.
You can find many great websites and examples but each
student is different.

38. Contact Dr. Joseph
Rebecca Joseph, PhD
 Professor, Cal State LA
 Founder, Get Me To
College and All College
Application Essays
 Current 2016 Unsung
Hero, LA County
Contact
rjoseph@calstatela.edu
@getmetocollege
@allcollegeessay