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ESWN 1.4
1. Afternoon! What’s this? My forth one this week or something equally silly. Oh well,
never mind – hello again to the Nightmare that is the OWBC life of Evil Susan.
Last time twins Blight and Burns enjoyed being disobedient children, and were
shortly followed by the bad apple, Occult. After surviving an alien abduction, Evil
Susan consented to marry the father of her children only to find out that she still
needed to have a third pregnancy. All this made her happier than a skunk on water
skis, and live in Riverblossom Hills rolls ever onwards.
2. “Mum Mum MUM! Quick look, the Greenman farm is on fire! All the little piggies
going up in smoke!”
“But how? I’m not due there until next week! Who’s doing my job for me”
3. “I don’t know, but you’d best get over there and Evil at them quick.”
“Small male child, I can’t actually see any flames. If there is indeed a fire at the
farm, which I darn well sure hope there is, it’s not big enough to main or kill so is of
no interest to me.”
4. “But I haven’t finished yet!”
“You – were you cheating you brat?!”
“Er..”
“You ungrateful little scab! I let you join in with all the Evilness of my heart, and this
is how you repay me?!”
“But-”
5. “I knew I should have stuck to the original plan of selling them.”
“But Mum-”
“The sooner this last one is out the better, then I can just leave it in the compost
bin when Lump Face isn’t looking.
I cannot WAIT to go home.”
6. Unfortunately for Evil Susan, Lump Face (better known to the rest of the world as
her husband Shea) happened to be hanging around the kitchen in search of grilled
cheese at the exact moment she chose to finally bring forth the spawn of the third
pregnancy.
“Why do none of my plans ever woooork?”
“Don’t worry ES, I’m sure the baby’s be just fine!”
“DAMNIT.”
7. “Hi everyone, what’s all the screaming about?”
Ah, hello rather useless Bad Apple Occult.
“Oh my goat Occult, get out the way! Why the heck do you want to stand near
Mum when she’s flailing like this?”
“Flailing like what? What’s happening?”
“GET OUT THE WAY OCCULT DEMON CHILD.”
8. “Oh.. My.. Fishness. That is something I could have lived quite happily without
seeing.”
“Waaaaaa, Mum I’ve only just met split her plumbob in front of meeeeee..”
“Shut up Occult. Look!”
9. “Whoo, new baby brother! Boys rule!”
“Yaaay, I’m not the youngest anymore!”
“Stop looking so happy you brats, this is not a good thing. He’s ‘orrible!” growled
Evil Susan, and rather unceremoniously dumped the baby on Shea and went to
bed, bent on ignoring them all for the rest of eternity.
10. But Shea being Shea, he was just as thrilled as the boys to welcome the new
baby, apparently already dubbed according to Evil Susan as ‘Orrible.
So ‘Orrible Nightmare is the fourth (and most likely final) member of Generation
One, aww. He’s got black hair and brown eyes like Occult, but hopefully will be
slightly less useless.
11. Occult lost interest in the new baby as soon as Evil Susan was gone, and swiftly
went to sleep in the wrong bed as usual.
But Blight was a bit too excited to go back to sleep, and so went to meet a new
friend in the garden. And for once, he wasn’t called Balin! ..I’ve actually forgotten
what it was, because as usual Mr. Wolf decided never to come back again.
Boo!
12. And so with the birth of ‘Orrible, our flamingo army grows ever more!
Ornery Flamingo is still the wrong way around, and our gnome has only gone
missing once. Maybe the Riverblossom folk are just too busy measuring their
marrows to bother to come and nick him?
But look, it’s winter!
13. And so that can only mean one thing in the Nightmare house.
FIIIIIIIGHT!
*thwack*
“Ooow! Blight!”
14. “What did you do that for?”
“Sorry sis, just proving my point that SUPER BLIGHT can never be beaten!
Especially not by Stupid Burns.”
“Oh, whatever you silly boy. I’m cold, I need some hot chocolate. Want to come in
and make some?”
“Nope, got better things to do than cuddle of with Dad thanks.”
“Fine, but I’m not coming out to save you with a hairdryer.”
15. “Hm. Well, I think it looks pretty much like Mum. The nose is down anyway.
Oh dear.”
The little boy let out a groan as he heard the door slam and a wee vice fall out into
the garden.
16. “Hi Blight, can I play? I want to play with you, you never let me play with you.”
“Fine. You can help me with this, you sort out all that brown icky snow down the
bottom, and I’ll do all the important bits up here.”
“Sure Blight! Hey, be careful, you know you’re knocking snow into my face?”
“..Carry on. I’m cold now, you stay here and finish this for me, then you can be my
beeeeest friend.”
“Really?”
“Sure.”
17. “Oh boy, I’ve always wanted a friend!”
Yay! Now you stay and do that Occult, and I can see what kind of snowman you
build so I can have a guess at your nice points!
Oh. Oh, you wandered off.
18. “I don’t want to build a snowman anymore, I’m sleepy.”
Then go to bed!
“But I haven’t learnt which one is my bed yet..”
Grr.
19. Now, I saw this trick in several off the fab OWBC’s on the boolprop.com forums.
To get the Bad Apple to sleep in the desired bed, just keep moving them on with
stereos to wake them up if they’re in the wrong one.
Care to do the honours ES?
20. “*yawn* Why did you turn that on Mummy? I was having a nice dream!”
“Because you’re a waste of space, and in my bed. MY bed, not your bed. Now go
away!”
“Zzz.. Yes Mummy..”
21. YES!! It worked! Thank you Boolprop!
“Huh, so this is my bed? It’s not as big as the one downstairs. I don’t like it.”
Don’t care, all the other bedrooms now have a stereo in to keep you out – HA. And
so for the first time ever, Occult went to sleep in his own bed AND at a sensible
hour, all ready for his first day of school in the morning.
Oh yeah, I have Bad Apple skills ;)
22. “Wow Mum, I feel all refreshed and ready for school! Isn’t that awesome?”
“No. I was hoping that cheese would glue your jaw together, your voice is giving
me a headache.”
“But I love you!”
“Whatever, I have a forest to burn to the ground.”
“Have a nice day!”
23. And so for the first time in Nightmare history, all three children went to school on
time, as well as Evil Susan making her car pool.
HURRAY!
24. But as the snow began to melt, so did all our dreams of success.
Much like Blight’s snowman, things started to go all crumbly shaped again.
Sigh
25. Oh Evil Susan, come on!
“It’s not my fault, I was always going to tell my co-workes to push off and shut up.”
But.. We’re running out of time!
“Don’t care, I’m not doing what some turnip-head tells me. And I’m only demoted,
not fired so stop exaggerating.”
26. And then Occult went into meltdown.
“Fun! Food! Toilet! Sleep! Shower! Waaaaaa!”
“Shall I help you with your homework son?”
“WAAAAAAAAA!”
Tramp the Bird: “Wark, epic child fail.”
27. And then the headmaster turns up, because things having gone so well over the
weekend Evil Susan decided she wanted to throw the kids into private school.
Probably so she can get them even further away from her during the day, in the
hope that they’ll get lost on the way back.
But luckily we have Popularity winking platinum Shea to save the day. I hope?
28. Come ooooon private school.. “Hello Sir, welcome to our fine home!”
“It’s always. Just like your name.”
“Erm, would you like a tour?”
“No need, I can already tell it’s shocking from here.”
“Food?”
“It’s probably leftover pig swill but FINE.”
29. “Now nasty little things I had to spawn, I have no interest in you except for you
getting sent as far away from me as possible, so look interested so this long haired
plonker will take you away.”
“I am not the social worker Mrs. Nightmare.”
“You’re close enough though, big school, lots more kids to pick on them and
whatnot? Labs they can blow themselves up in?”
“ES, is this really the best way to encourage the kids? They’re all doing rather well
at their current school actually. Don’t scare them.”
“Silly Name, I live to scare them.”
30. Though you know what? I reckon this headmaster could possibly give her a run for
her money. *shudder*
Doesn’t he look impressed?
31. “..and then the kneecaps can be used as an effective discus, and the toes make
exceptional tiddlywinks. That about covers ‘My Christmas Holiday’ I think, useless
squirt.”
“Thanks Mummy. But why are you helping me with my homework?”
“Because that BOZO over there isn’t going to let us into his CRAPPY school that I
DIDN’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYWAY so you may as well put the
fear of Evil Susan into the current one.”
“Yes Mummy.”
32. “So Mr. Headmaster with the bizarre hair, can I smooze you for a while?”
“Haha, most certainly not! In fact, you have all disgraced yourselves so much that I
intent to leave at once, your family certainly is not right for Riverblossom Roots &
Herbs Academy.”
“No, I had a feeling they wouldn’t be.”
So, we got a score of thirty-something out of ninety and heavily negative
relationships with him, so nah ner nah so this guy. It’s probably for the best
though, at least the youngsters of Riverblossom can remain intact.
For now.
33. So the afternoon’s been a bit of a disaster. But moving swiftly along, it’s time for
little ‘Orrible’s birthday!
And for the first time ever, we have a bit of an audience going on. Aww, he’s well
loved by his family already. (?)
34. Excuse me?! SHE! What the fishness do you think you are DOING?!
“’Orrible wet himself, so I thought I’d eat some cake instead.”
NO NO NO. Luckily the action was cancelled and the cake whisked away in time
before any major damage was done to Beyond Cheesey, so phew.
35. Once quick diaper change later aaaaand Take Two.
And NO CAKE FOR YOU MISTER.
36. “Urgh, that took ages. Waste of my precious time.”
“Hush Evil Susan, he looks rather sweet! Though that hair needs to go, reminds
me as bit too much of that Headmaster.”
37. OH. MY. GOAT.
Squeeeee! Aww, ‘Orrible is far far far from ‘orrible. Lots of aww
And his personality too! ‘Orrible’s a little Libra with 4 10 1 7 and.. EIGHT nice
points!
Deary me, good luck kiddo. But I think you’ll be sweet enough to cope with this lot.
39. “CAMERA!”
“Well done little guy! Wow, you’re certainly getting this talking down fast. Clever
boy ‘Orrible, I would say you’re Mother will be thrilled but that is a complete and
utter lie.”
40. “Now, say after me-”
“Dad Dad Dad Dad Dad! I got an A+! Loooook, meeee! Occult! I did well at
something! Come help me with my homework!”
“Uh huh, maybe later.. Say Daddy ‘Orrible, Daddy!”
“..I’ll just go then.” sighed our little Bad Apple.
41. “Wheee, this is what I think of homework, bleh.
And little brothers. BLEH!”
*jump jump stomp jump*
42. “Hey Burns?”
“Brother of mine.”
“Go help the annoying one, you’re all nice and stuff.”
“Yeah, but I want to get this done! You knoooow what we get to do when we’ve
finished our homework Blight!”
“Heck yeah! HaHA, GOT IT! Done done and done.”
43. “No way Blight, that’s not fair! Wait for me would you?”
“Sorry sis, the wobbles have already started! Best duck from the sparklies.”
“Grr.”
44. It’s teenifying time!
And Blight popped up platinum, but in a shirt that I shall not have, tut tut. I know
you can do better than that m’dear.
45. A quick change later, and the new teenager settled down to wait for his sister to
join him in tall-land.
“*gasp* Blight! You got all big! How did that happen? Whatever shall we do now?!”
Evil Susan sighed.
“Stupid child.”
46. Quickly Occult ran over to his big sister.
“Burns Burns Burns! Are you going to get all big and weird too like Blight?”
“Absatively I’m afraid.”
“Can I still have hugs?”
“Oh, I suppose. Just not in front of Blight okay?”
47. “But now it’s my turn to twirl!”
“Aww, sis! You couldn’t have waited for me to get all the way over?”
“Nope, sorry Blight. You didn’t wait for me, so I’m not going to wait for you!”
48. “Argh, the pink! So much pink!” shrieked Shea.
“Oh, scabby brat.. That is such a disappointment. You look decidedly un-Evil, and
this does not impress me.”
What happened? A very confused Occult merely wondered.
49. So now that they’ve been sorted out, here are the Nightmare twins! With a quick
little stats update.
Blight, Leo 4 10 4 7 1
Family – Reach Golden Anniversary
Games
Burns, Leo 4 10 5 4 5
Popularity – Become Visionary (Art)
Music & Dance
“So.. Can we get out of here now?”
“Oh goat yes. To the town!”
50. Blight’s desperate for all things electronic, so exploited his new found freedom by
spending all our money in the kiosks. Yaay.
51. “Um, hello? I want to buy something that’s not a watermelon?
HELLO?!”
52. “Oh, sorry about that! You see, you’re the first person ever to come here and not
be after our excellent produce. May I interest you in some fresh carrots, grown by
my Grammy just for you!”
“I’ll just take the earrings thanks.. Blight! You ready to go?”
A cry of ‘help’ from outside sent her quickly out to hunt for her twin.
53. “Get rid of her Burns.”
“Oh my fishness, look at you! You’ve grown up so much, you sweet little thing!
D’aww, you’ve taken your hair out of the plait, why? It was so cute!”
“It’s the creepy lady..” Blight whispered.
“I know. And I took it out because it was babyish, and of course I’ve grown up, it’s
what we do. Why are you here anyway?”
54. “Actually, I don’t mind Riverblossom I’ve decided! Oh, don’t look at me like that –
it’s not home but it’s got it’s up sides. Okay there’s no Spider for me to chase
around my garden but there’s also no twisted supernatural types trying to destroy
everyone’s lives and we can all shop for cheese in peace. Of course it’s no Harold
& Merkins, but this place has KILLER edamame beans!”
“...”
“Can we go now?”
“Yeah, alright. Nice to see you kids, congrats for not getting sold.”
55. But with Shea off at work and the twin’s night time jaunt, this had unfortunately left
‘Orrible with no one for a carer but Evil Susan. But through some miracle, she’s
actually managed to teach him a skill!
“There. Now stop whining at me whenever you need something you little bag of
worms, do it yourself! I don’t want to have to waste my time doing something like
this ever again.”
56. Things have finally started settling down in the house, and over the next few days
mornings started to become quite routine.
Burns got up and immediately started chatting to whichever family member was
closest, even including Evil Susan who sometimes had her daughter following her
around, commenting on her actions much to the Evil one’s displeasure.
57. Blight could be found doing whatever the heck he wanted, especially if he found
something that amused him for more than 30 seconds.
59. And ‘Orrible looks awfully sweet, and gets on with it himself while his siblings get
shoved out of the door and off to school.
60. And Evil Susan of course, is nowhere to be found.
“Come in lightning, come on.. I’m in the bleedin’ puddle! Strike me, come on
STRIKE ME.
I dare you! I, Evil Susan, challenge you to come and hit me.
HIT ME DARNIT.”
61. Even though his Mum’s feeling a bit suicidal this morning, Occult’s just happy to
draw some pictures. Because he is lovely.
And has little floppy hair! So what if Evil Susan isn’t doing a good job of raising
him?
62. Or remembering that when groceries are ordered, one actual needs to have
money in order to pay for them.
“Mehehe, MY chair now!”
Yes, we’re still a bit broke. All these kids, we keep having to build stuff! It’s not
good.
63. Oh gosh, but this is worse.
“So, you’re the new legacy boy in town I hear..”
“Blight, what the goose is a legacy?”
“I have no idea sis, but she has puuuuurty eyes..”
Maybe it was Evil Susan’s glare from the window, maybe she could hear some
mystic growls and shouts coming from somewhere in the sky made by someone
cursing at her screen, but Melody Tinker scarpered pretty darn quick without
inflicting any damage. Other than a flirt.
In case you’ve forgotten/never knew – Melody Tinker is EVIL EVIL EVIL and must
be not allowed anywhere near and Sim males I even vaguely care about. And I
love Blight, so I shall have my revenge. MY REVENGE.
64. Sadly, the only way now that Occult’s homework gets done is if Burns did it. She’s
best friends (not that you’d know it) with him so it’s okay, but that kids really is
falling further into Bad Appledom.
65. ‘Orrible on the other hand, is doing as well as well can be.
After the departure of Melody Deathface, Blight decided to take it upon himself to
spend several hours with his littlest brother, making sure he’s got the rabbit head
down –just- right.
Aha, so you are a little Family Sim underneath it all, my dear.
“Shh, don’t tell anyone.”
66. And it’s not just Blight, Burns adores her little brother too and happily seeks him
out for fun and games time.
“Oh no! Where’ve I gone? Where’d Burnsey go?”
“There! There! Burnsey goes there! Yaaaay! More more!”
67. “MUM! The twins are ignoring me again!”
“Yes, and what do you want me to do about it brat?”
“Huuuuug?”
“Oh. Erm. No. I don’t trust your face or gaping mouth, something very wrong there
you occult demon child.”
68. But once again, our parental back up comes into play, and Occult finally gets
some love from someone.
69. While ‘Orrible is –still- being fawned over by his big sister. But he’s so lovely that
I’m all for it!
“Who’s a little monkey! Who’s my little monkey?”
“*giggle choke splutter* MEEEEEE!”
“Yessyouare! Yessyouare!”
70. Sickened by all these displays of affection, Evil Susan thought it high time to get to
work on the junker that had been sitting ignored in the driveway for weeks now.
“I want a car, and the only way to get anything done is to do it yourself, especially
if Evil is required. And by the state of this engine, I’m sure as heck going to need
it.”
71. “How dare you fight back!
I’m Evil Susan, and you will bend to my will car! BEND TO MY WILL.
Now none of that, or any of the rest.”
72. “Now that’s much better. See? A little bit of Evil goes a long way in the engine
building process.”
Must say, I’m impressed.
73. Alas, all too soon it’s time for ‘Orrible to grow up, sigh.
“People?”
Of course, as the whole family (except for Evil Susan, she just told there were here
to point and laugh at small children) love him to bits, they all gathered around to
watch.
And the verdict?
74. Still gorgeous!
“But I’m good tooo!” whined the Bad Apple.
“Talk to the hand big brother!”
But seeing Occult’s face he quickly changed him mind.
“Hehe, sorry! I like you really, but I’ve got a job to do!”
He does.
75. “Yaaaay all of our children are mostly independent!”
“Oh Lump Face Silly Name, that is one of the best things I’ve ever heard you say.
Oooh, it’s a goodly Evil feeling.”
“Can we go do your special dance to celebrate.”
“Why yes, I believe that this is indeed a suitable situation for such celebration.”
76. Ahem. As I was saying, ‘Orrible does have a job to do.
While Occult went back to being ignored by everyone;
“Tra la la, and then all the dollies gave the little boy a hug, and said he was the
beeeest boy is the world!”
‘Orrible ran outside to get started.
77. “C’mhere little fella.. Come on! Aww, don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you. No,
really! A ha.. GOTCAH!”
Yup, ‘Orrible is going to be the Bugnut for Generation One, which means he needs
to complete a collection of all the insects on offer and try his best to avoid the
bees. I was hoping he may have even gotten the Nature hobby, but alas he didn’t.
Actually, I’m having a heck of a time trying to find ‘Orrible’s hobby. I thought I’d
tried everything but I’ve had no popups, so clearly I’ve missed something. His
strongest traits are outgoing, lazy and nice which doesn’t naturally fall to anything,
so I’ll have to keep looking!
Bets, anyone?
78. Oh, what a flying start!
“I don’t know why, but I blame our Mum for this. Argh, I’m covered in beeeees!”
79. “Oh no, ‘Orrible’s being chased by bees. Poor little guy, I hope he’s okay! He’s to
sweet to be stung by the nasty little buzzers..
I’d go and help but.. Meh. Outside. Oh well, I’ll get him a nice grilled cheese for
when he comes in, I’m sure that’ll help.”
81. “WENCH! I am a young strapping Family Sim in need of a date, so here’s all the
money my family has.”
“Hmm, well that’s not very much is it.”
“Well it’s not our fault we don’t sell craptacular vegetables like everyone else.”
“No, I much prefer selling false hopes and dreams myself. I’ll see what I can do.”
82. “Flirt with her? Why me! What if she starts telling me she loves me like a hosepipe
loves newly watered ferns or something?”
Well around here, you don’t have much choice.
“Drat. Well then, I’ve got a better idea.”
83. *THWACK*
“Whoa Debbie, you’ve got some arm on you.. Orf.”
“Oh my golly goshness Blight, this fish slapping game is like SO much fun! We
usually just tickle the fish in the lake, never get them out and start flinging them
around, but that is like SO what I’m going to do from now on.”
“Victory!”
84. “So there are lots of other things I can show you Miss Debbie.. And not all
involving fish, if you know what I mean.”
“Oooh, like what?”
“I don’t know, I was winging it.”
“Oh. Is your brother okay though?”
“Hm?”
85. “Oh, ‘Orrible. Don’t worry about him, that happens a lot. He’s got quite a tough
epidermis now, he says the stings hurt less.”
“Aww, you’re so caring Blight.”
86. “I know.”
Though I don’t think he knows the cute little picture he’s creating by having his first
kiss in front of the sunflowers, I don’t think he’d be best pleased.
87. “After all that and I didn’t even get anything? Awww, nutmeg!”
There there little guy, at least you’re still gorgeous to me
88. Burns meanwhile has been put to work on creating portraits for the Family
Scrapbook bonus. Seeing as she wants to be an Artist after all, may as well start
her on the job early!
That and Evil Susan isn’t getting any younger. Can’t wait until she figures that one
out.
89. “Look ‘Orrible, I’ve been thinking. Everyone thinks you’re all sweet and stuff, and
they all tend to ignore me. Can you, you know, cut it out so I can have a turn?
Especially with Mummy!”
“Dude, Mum wouldn’t like us even if we were made of pure Evil.”
“D’aww..”
90. “But sure Occult, I’ll help you.”
“You will? That is so awesome!”
“Uh huh..”
95. “Alright! Now I can.. Um, do, something!”
Way, more big aspiration boosts! Once again Occult managed to grow up gold
according to the pop up.
Even though I still know nowt about him, now including his LTW, I can tell you that
his aspiration is Pleasure.
Oh dear.
96. To celebrate his transition, Occult promptly starts playing his favourite game with
me.
Does that look like it would be your bed?
“Don’t care, big now.”
Sigh.
97. “I’M COVERED IN BEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!”
“..So?”
And I shall leave you with this badly plumbbobed photo of Nightmare garden life.
So we know have our full first generation! Blight, Burns, Occult and ‘Orrible,
complete with Bad Apple and Bugnut. ‘Oorah!
Thank you yet again for reading my odd little thing, and very well done if you’ve
actually managed to keep up with me this week! When I’m back at work I’ll slow
down, promise Until then, ttfn.
