Adversity Antidote Action - AAA

SATHISH KUMAR.J
Head HR
Adversity~Antidote~Action
“If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path” … Gautama Buddha
“Do not Learn How to React. Learn How to Respond” … Gautama Buddha

1
A thought occurred to me on my journey to my hometown. When I stood as a third person
to analyze my thought magic happened; I realized that what occurred to me is common as an
individual.
I asked these questions to me:
1. What happens when an Adversity strikes?
2. Do we really have the power to overcome this?
3. What do we do to control this?
4. Can a solution to an outcome be applied to all?
These were some of the basic questions which struck me while I was penning down my
thoughts on writing this book.
On the contrary as human we tend to do the following thing when an adversity strikes:
1. We blame the situation.
2. We blame others.
3. We try to find solace by using the toxic word ―because‖ i.e. because of this event I
failed
4. We blame ourselves.
5. We try to passive ourselves by saying that this, not our true calling.
This is what an adversity does since we are not trained on what to do and this is what I felt
that my book should be all about. We should accept the following fact that we cannot avoid
Adversity. What is adversity and what we can do to overcome this?
In my earlier book ―Sculpting your Genius‖ I talked about the process which we can follow to
create success. Something on the similar lines struck me on my travel and that‘s how I
wanted to decode my view on these lines to you all.
I am thankful for all my audience and to my family and my siblings who were instrumental
in helping me create this book. My sincere thanks to the various authors‘ whom I consider as
my first line of the impression in writing this book.
“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be above the risk
to be alive and express what we really are” … Don Miguel Rijiz

2
Mental Assumptions That Cause You
Unhappiness and Poison Your Spirit__________________________________________ 3
Four Noble Truths ___________________________________________________________ 7
Motivation __________________________________________________________________ 15
Disrupt You _________________________________________________________________ 17
Happiness Habits ___________________________________________________________ 24
Happiness Theories _________________________________________________________ 30
Final Word __________________________________________________________________ 39

3
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within
us.”… Oliver Wendell Holmes
There are a million reasons why people aren‘t happy. These reasons arise from the
negative assumptions and expectations they set for themselves.
Expectations are good because they keep us moving forward. With the right set of
expectations, you are sure to be successful in all your undertakings.
Most assumptions, however, are just ideas we have about how the world functions
that are not supported by facts and can easily be false.

4
Some assumptions are even destructive to our spirit.
They prevent our mental self from creating a reality where you can be happy.
They prevent your spirit from shining in its full potential. Moreover, worst of all, they
are unrealistic!
Here are the 7 most common unrealistic assumptions that cause unhappiness and
poison the spirit:
1. You assume that opportunities will just come from nowhere.
The Law of Attraction truly works but not without effort on your part.
When you expect that the best opportunities will fall onto your lap, you limit
yourself from taking action. But in most cases it‘s action that creates the
opportunities you seek.
By trying new things once in a while, meeting people outside your social circle,
and being curious about life in general, you actually give birth to your happiness.
You expand your spirit.
“Action is the foundational key to all success” … Pablo Picasso
2. You assume that people should like you.
We all know that no one is perfect, and even if you are, it is still not a guarantee
that people will like you. Even the great teachers and gurus like Jesus or Buddha
have their own set of bashers.
All because it‘s not your story that matters to everyone, it‘s theirs. It‘s their
history, hang-ups, and insecurities that prevent them from seeing the best in you.
After all, we all have the right to like and dislike whoever we choose to. Once you
give up expecting everyone to like you, you are free to be yourself. And those
people that actually like you will like you for who you really are.

5
3. You assume that life would be fair.
Expecting life to be fair sounds ideal. However, the harsh reality is it‘s not, and it
could never be. In fact, life is neither fair nor unfair, it doesn‘t play that game. We
created those concepts.
There will be times when you feel you are cheated or treated unfairly. But that‘s
just your perception of a situation that doesn‘t have a meaning without someone
to give it.
This means that in every situation it‘s you who chooses the meaning and action
you are going to take. By being free from judging the situation you are able to
create your own advantage.
Bounce back from every setback with a proactive attitude, one that can make this
world a better place, one that creates a difference.
“If not now, when?” … Hillel
4. You assume that people know what you have in mind.
People aren‘t able to read your mind or emotions just because what you think or
feel is important to you. Moreover, even if you say it to them, not all of them will
know exactly what you are trying to say.
Expecting people to read your mind, especially in romantic relationships, causes
problems for both partners.
We have communication for a reason and understanding what someone is saying
is beyond a text message, sometimes even beyond words. It demands a
conversation in person, and sometimes for a couple of hours straight.
Improve your communication skills, say what you mean to say and say it in a
couple of different ways.
Give others a couple of aspects to look at what you are trying to say, so they can
understand the essence of it.

6
5. You assume that everyone should agree with you.
People have their own past, their own culture, and their own way of seeing things.
When you expect them to see things the way you perceive it, it‘s very irrational
and hypocritical.
While what you mean seems positive for you, others who have a different
background might see it the other way around.
Being open to the idea that there could be more correct answers to one question is
productive. It expands your spirit and opens your mind to new perspectives.
We all have the right to our personal opinion, and sometimes these opinions
contradict each other. However, this does not mean that any of them is wrong. It
depends from where you look at the subject in matter.
6. You assume that you will fail.
When you assume that you‘ll fail, you will ultimately do.
Nevertheless, what if things go your way? They may not always do, but at some
point, they will.
Failures might look frightening, but if you shift your thinking into what you aim
to do, they become just lessons that bring you closer to your goals.
7. You assume that things outside of yourself will give you lasting
happiness.
Sure, material things can make you comfortable and happy perhaps, but only for
a short period of time.
Once the feeling wears off, the excitement of owning a new car or living in a big
house slowly fades.
You are more of a spiritual being than a physical one. What makes your life more
fulfilling and satisfying are the things that nurture and nourish your spirit that
can be found within yourself.

7
However, even the things we find within are not promised to give us a lasting
happiness. In fact, lasting happiness is neither found within nor without, but in
both of them together.
Removing the limits that separate the places you seek to find your happiness is
actually the secret to happiness. It expands your journey between the both
worlds, within and without.
“Always have a plan, and believe in it. Nothing happens by accident.” … Chuck Knox

8
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters
compared to what lies within us.”… Oliver Wendell Holmes
I am great admirer of spirituality and to understand
the 4 truths from the master was a great blessing. I
am happy to share my rendition on this.
Dalai Lama introduces each of the Four Noble
Truths, drawing on examples both from Buddhist
scripture and ordinary experience to support the
accuracy of Buddhist philosophy. Buddhism is
presented as an antidote to the surfeit of illusory
pleasure in the West, among other ills.
The Four Noble Truths are: (1) Truth of Suffering (Dukha), (2) Truth of the Origin of
Suffering (Trishna/Raga), (3) Truth of Cessation(Nirvana) (4) Truth of the Path (The
Noble Eightfold Path)
In his Introduction, the Dalai Lama stresses the importance of tolerance for all
religions, even though he admits that in his talk he will claim that Buddhism is the
best way for various reasons. He has met practitioners from other religions that have

9
developed loving hearts. Moreover, the variety of schools within Buddhism suggest
that different people need different approaches; no religion or school of thought will
satisfy all the earth‘s people.
Understanding begins with perceiving the interdependent nature of reality: ―all
conditioned things and events in the universe come into being only as a result of the
interaction of various causes and conditions‖. Thus, things cannot arise from
nothing, nor do they arise from a Designer or Creator (refuting the classic Argument
from Design in Western Philosophy). Also, we should understand that wholes are
always comprised of parts, and are dependent upon them. And thirdly, nothing in
reality has an independent, autonomous existence; things certainly exist (―Buddhism
is not nihilistic‖), but they are contingent, dependent upon other factors and
interactions for their existence (this is ―the empty nature of reality‖).
Understanding of causal dependence prepares for the teaching of karma, the causal
principle governing human behavior. Understanding of the interdependence of all
things, even of the interaction between perception and reality, prepares us to
understand ―the origin of suffering,‖ the emotional experiences that lead to
confusion.
The Dalai Lama also distinguishes between absolute truth (the empty nature of the
world) and conventional or relative truth. But conventional reality still reveals its
own interdependence, and so suggests to us the nature of absolute truth.
In the introductory chapter lot of emphasis is given for the Four Noble Truths
because they address humanity‘s fundamental desire, to achieve happiness and avoid
suffering. Dalai Lama defines happiness as the complete freedom of suffering, a
definition which will go far in presenting the Four Noble Truths as the right path for
humanity. A paradox here is that cessation is seen as being unconditioned, and yet it
is only achievable through an individual‘s efforts to walk down the Buddhist path.

10
Dalai Lama stresses that we need to recognize that we are in a state of dukkha
(suffering, frustration, un-satisfactoriness) before we fully develop the desire to be
free of suffering and to be happy. The traditional order in which the Four Noble
Truths are stated is used to correspond to the order that an individual is likely to
apprehend them, much as a sick person must first recognize his illness before going
on to understand its origins and then the proper remedy. The Dalai Lama stresses
that Buddhism‘s emphasis on suffering is not morbid or pessimistic because the
cessation of suffering is definitely attainable. The Buddha taught that there are
Twelve Nidanas, twelve links in the cycle of existence. Many people are lost in
ignorance, so their whole causal chain of links leads to more suffering; those who
learn to forego volitional actions lose the suffering consciousness and enter the more
positive nidanas.
1. The Truth of Suffering.
In Buddhist cosmology there are three realms, perhaps best introduced as levels of
consciousness: The Desire Realm (one is attached to pleasing sensations), The
Form Realm (where one eschews the Desire Realm, but is still attached to
pleasing inward emotions), and The Formless Realm (where one achieves true
equanimity, and seeks not physical or inner sensations). These realms of
consciousness also correspond to cosmological realms; The Formless Realm, for
example, is immune to the constant arising and dissolution characteristic of the
Desire Realm. Also, the universe dissolves at the end of the great cycles, variously by
fire, water, and wind, corresponding to levels within The Form Realm.
The Dalai Lama describes three types of suffering. The suffering of suffering occurs
during the pains of birth, sickness, ageing, and death. Our supposed rebirths ensure
that we stay within the cycles of the suffering of suffering. The suffering of change
concerns experiences commonly described as pleasurable. The Dalai Lama argues
that these apparent pleasures are only relative pleasures, an apparent form of relief.
Surely these pleasures are not genuine pleasures because, after a point, further
indulgence in the causes of pleasure does not bring more pleasure but less
(overeating is a classic example here). [Yet I find this a weak argument. Pointing out
that while eating is often a pleasure, eating to excess often makes us miserable,

11
should only show us the importance of eating appropriately. Doing anything to
excess, by definition, will be bring undesirable consequences (else it is not to excess);
but this should not be an argument against experiencing pleasures in their proper
proportion.] ―If you look carefully, everything beautiful and good, everything that we
consider desirable, brings us suffering in the end‖. Again, Dalai Lama is offering an
extreme solution to the problem of impermanence, the most vexing aspect of which
is the foreknowledge of our own finite existences.
The third type of suffering, the suffering of conditioning, arises from our
fundamental ignorance. Because we are usually so ignorant, we are conditioned to
suffer within the chain of samsara. The impermanence of things can be caused both
by the thing itself containing the seed of its own destruction, or being destroyed by
some other thing.
The chain of suffering continues so relentlessly because ignorance is our default
state. And ignorance brings volitional acts, which themselves lead to more suffering.
Such a view of volition suggests that Buddhists are not proponents of anything like
Free Will, despite, paradoxically, the intense resolve and effort (―will power‖) it takes
to practice Dharma. But since volitional acts spring from ignorance and illusion,
some Buddhists may well have argued that the idea of volition itself is illusory.
Our consciousness, too, is usually confused, but through meditation we can learn to
live in the present moment, to achieve a higher realization of the interdependence of
all things.
2. The Truth of the Origin of Suffering
Dalai Lama relates the two kinds of ignorance (the root of suffering): ignorance of the
laws of causality (including karma), and ignorance of the ultimate nature of reality.
Karma is distinct from other laws of causality in that it governs intentional actions.
Karmic actions may produce suffering, joy, or equanimity, corresponding to three
Realms of consciousness. The karmic effect produced will have various degrees of
intensity depending on the strength of the thought and deed behind the action.

12
Practioners of the Dharma learn to identify and avoid negative thoughts and actions.
Note however that the wish (volition) to seek happiness and overcome suffering is
itself not a karmic product. As ignorant as we are, some of us have apparently
learned what to wish for (the end of covetousness).
Although karma governs volitional acts, other laws of causality operate on the
physical world: the Principle of Nature (things exist; causality obtains), the Principle
of Efficacy (things produce results according to their nature), the Principle of
Dependence (there is a natural dependence between things and events, causes and
effects), and the Principle of Valid Proof (―given this, that should be the case‖). But
karma teaches us the negative results of our thoughts and actions, and so is a more
instructive type of causality.
Incidentally, the belief in the existence of beginning less former lives rests on the
premise that consciousness is a continuum and consciousness cannot arise from
non-consciousness. Nor can non-consciousness arise from consciousness; so our
consciousness‘s traverse from body to body in a change of samsara.
3. The Truth of Cessation
Dalai Lama asserts that it is possible to achieve moksha (liberation) and nirodha
(cessation). Dalai Lama argues that since we can understand the truth of emptiness
through analysis and reasoning, we work toward understanding truth of cessation
without relying exclusively on scriptural authority. We are empty in the sense that
have no soul (anatman), though there are several different interpretations of
anatman within the Buddhist tradition. Although there are different ramifications to
the various conceptions of anatman, the Dalai Lama believes that none of the schools
negate the reality of the conventional world. The belief in emptiness does not
invalidate the principles of karma and causality. The Dalai Lama advocates the
―Middle Way,‖ a conception of emptiness as dependently originated, one that avoids
the extremes of absolutism (things-in-themselves possess absolute existence) and
nihilism (nothing exists) (101). Through correct meditations on emptiness the
meaning of the negation of atman is understood, and liberation is achieved through

13
the elimination of grasping. The Dalai Lama argues that by keeping in mind the lack
of intrinsic reality in all things, we can more dispel our afflictive emotions by
underscoring their lack of validity.
The belief that ―our potential for knowledge is intrinsic to our consciousness‖, while
afflictive emotions are not, suggests that we can not only reduce the levels of afflictive
emotions in our lives, but also totally eliminate them.
5. The Truth of the Path
Dalai Lama affirms the truth of the Path, variously defined.[1] Intuitive realization of
emptiness is the beginning of the road toward cessation. The Mahayana Path stresses
developing universal compassion, which is only possible after understanding the
suffering of yourself and others. The Vajrayana Path uses visualization techniques to
help you conceive emptiness.
Regardless of the various emphases of the schools, the Dalai Lama advises those
interested in practicing Buddhism to meditate on the Four Noble Truths, to have
great determination (it might take many lifetimes to develop one‘s understanding
and compassion), and to avoid impatience in one‘s practice.
Assessing the ―validity of a religion‖ is always a dubious proposition. Religious tenets
often concern themselves with the ―supersensory‖ reality of the world or the
mysteries of human consciousness, and so do not yield well to scientific analysis.
Religious beliefs can rarely be disproved on scientific or logical grounds (the same
could be said for many philosophies); religious speakers are squawking vendors in
the marketplace of ideas, just like philosophers, poets, and all the rest. The
plausibility and usefulness of beliefs will often determine our reaction to it—though
analysis may well render some tenets implausible.

14
Dalai Lama does not tell us here the order in which the Buddha ―discovered‖ the
Four Noble Truths, but I suspect that the Buddha began with the premise that
humanity is sick and in need of spiritual medicine: Buddhism. Gautama himself was
a prince allowed to experience a surfeit of sensory delight, and at some point realized
the diminishing returns of sensory pleasures. If he, Gautama, was suffering, surely
the lower castes and the untouchables were suffering as well. Thus, Man is sick,
unsatisfied; his wants can never be filled. Perhaps we shouldn‘t want so much.
Buddhism teaches us how to see our wants in a ―truer‖ light.
Dalai Lama uses an analogy between the humanity‘s need for the Four Noble Truths
and sick man‘s need for a correct diagnosis and treatment. Doesn‘t such an analogy
reveal a pessimistic view of human nature? That our (natural) desires lead us to
confusion and dissatisfaction? Perhaps fulfilling more of our desires is the answer,
rather than cauterizing our desires. If I am hungry, perhaps I should eat, rather than
seek to frame the desire in a new context. And isn‘t it typical of religion to define
humanity as such as problematic, so that it needs a remedy (religion) to solve its
problems? By defining happiness as the complete freedom of suffering, and asserting
that all people want to be happy, and defining Buddhism as an effective way of
reducing or eliminating suffering, the Dalai Lama argues that Buddhism is the best
road to happiness.
Like other religions, Buddhism does more than attempt to solve the problem of
human happiness; it seeks to answer other perplexing philosophical questions, such
as the problem of impermanence. Buddhism stresses the impermanence of things in
everyday reality, and derives emptiness from this. Plato also detected impermanence,
but from that derived his theory of the (very permanent) Forms. Why should we
select one over the other? One can see Buddhism as an elaborate solution to the
problem of impermanent: Leave most of the reality in the vulgar world of incessant
Becoming (samsara), but salve the human desire for immortality by stressing that
some part of us (but not our soul!) is recycled through samsara. But positing
annihilation as the best release from Becoming is an original Buddhist approach.
Perhaps the whole idea of rebirth/reincarnation came about so as to give all the

15
suffering fools infinite chances to follow the Dharma and achieve bodhichitta?
Numerous modern writers have pointed out the strong similarity between the
Buddhist theory of the empty nature of reality and quantum physicists‘ model of
reality consisting mostly of empty space, electrons circling in a wide orbit around
tiny, heavy nuclei. Although this lends support to the Buddhist conception of
emptiness, the ―discoveries‖ of modern physics should lend little comfort to
confirmed Buddhists, who should be prepared to accept this model of emptiness
irrespective of the current condition of scientific knowledge.
The primary importance of the Dalai Lama‘s Four Noble Truths is the clarity with
which he has summarized Buddhism and its relevance for the modern world. Even
persons who do not subscribe to Buddhism can learn from The Four Noble Truths,
and can co-opt some Buddhist ideas into their own personal philosophies. Buddhism
emerges as a very this-worldly, practical approach to life, rather than its somewhat
mystical reputation.

16
“Be Strong because things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it never rains
forever”
Most people think that motivation for them is
out of reach. They have an average job at an
average company. This chapter is intended to
give people hope by shining the light on people
who are in average regular jobs but are amazing.
We will be discussing on the few stories of people
in ordinary jobs, but despite that fact, they
decided NOT to be ordinary.
They performed their jobs brilliantly, exceptionally, differently and exceeded
everyone's expectations of what that job "should" be every day. More importantly,
everyone around them knows it, sees it and acknowledges it.
We should understand that for you to be motivated you cannot learn it from a
seminar or from your manager. Motivation always comes from within you. You are
going to learn on how to get motivated and that‗s the key.
Are you a Carrot, an
Egg, or a Coffee
Bean?
My rendition of an old
story about dealing
with adversity
Click to View the Video
This is Why You
Don't SUCCEED –
Listen to this great
author “Simon Sinek”
who has written more
than 31 books.
When You Do
Something For
Someone Else –
Simon Sinek

17
“In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it.”…
Norman Vincent Peole
Sometimes You're
The Problem –
Simon Sinek
How to stop screwing
yourself over –
Mel Robbins
Turn Problems into
Opportunity
Jack Ma
Fear is not a problem
Mel Robbins:
Inspire people
through those
hardest times
Jack Ma
"The Story Of Pencil
And Eraser - Very
Inspirational One"

18
If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. —
Sbunryu Suzuki
I happened to read this book ―Disrupt Yourself‖
written by Whitney Johnson, what a phenomenal
book. I am happy to share my rendition on this
book.
Not everyone has to abandon the traditional path,
of course. Certainly if you‘re working toward an
ambitious and potentially
achievable goal, such as managing a division at your firm or winning a C-suite job in
your industry, disruption is unnecessary. But if as an individual you‘ve reached a
plateau or you suspect you won‘t be happy at the top rung of the ladder you‘re
climbing, you should disrupt yourself for the same reasons that companies must.
First and foremost, you need to head off the competition. As you continue to improve
along the dimensions of performance that the employment market has historically
valued, you risk overshooting demands. What you do reliably, if not brilliantly well,
can be done just as effectively by many peers—and perhaps more swiftly and
affordably by up-and-comers.
Second, consider the greater rewards that disruption may bring. It‘s true that
disruptive innovation in business tends to start out as a low-cost alternative to
existing products or services, and of course you don‘t want to embrace a career
strategy that reduces your own price point. But when you disrupt yourself, you vector
to a new set of metrics. In some cases, you might initially take a pay cut in return for
a steeper trajectory; after all, the endgame of disruption is higher demand for what
you produce. In other cases, you might even boost your pay while still undercutting
the competition in your new role, organization, or industry. Remember, too, that

19
when it comes to personal disruption, compensation is not just financial.
Psychological and social factors also matter.
―When you disrupt, you are walking into the unknown, exposing yourself to the risk
of failure… If you welcome failure as a guide and teacher, you‘re more likely to find
your way to success.‖ However, ―One lesson you might learn from failure is that you
are on the wrong curve for you.‖
The author adds a distinction between failure and our reaction to it. ―Failure itself
doesn‘t limit dreaming and personal innovation—shame does. Once we pull shame
out of the equation, we eliminate the drag and gain and the lift we need to accelerate
back into daring.‖
―It is unrealistic to believe that you can get there without a detour or two; flexibility
becomes an important attribute. Hence, disruptors have to be driven by discovery…
When you are driven by discovery, you take a step forward, gather feedback, and
adapt.‖
Four Principles of Self-Disruption
1. Target a need that can be met more effectively.
2. Identify your disruptive strengths.
3. Step back (or sideways) in order to grow.
4. Let your strategy emerge.
1. Target a need that can be met more effectively.
A core principle of disruptive innovation is that customers control resource
allocation and that they don‘t buy products but instead ―hire‖ them to fulfill a
need. Disrupters look for needs that aren‘t being met well. They play in markets
where no one else is or wants to be. A classic example is Salesforce.com: A simple,
inexpensive, cloud-based system—initially intended to service small and medium-
size businesses—is now disrupting the leading providers of customer resource
management software.

20
Martin Crampton‘s real estate portal was also a disruptive venture. But his
personal disruption started well before that launch, when he realized that
marketing strategy, not development and sales, drives usage of software products.
He seized the opportunity, thereby positioning himself for a series of big
marketing jobs before his next disruptive move. Alex McClung targeted his own
industry‘s need for people who could move fluidly across functional borders, such
as from science to finance and logistics to regulation. Then he sought roles in a
variety of health care organizations, ranging from biotech start-up to Fortune500
pharmaceutical, which would help him develop those skills.
Moreover, there‘s Heather Coughlin‘s story of giving up an equity-sales VP
position at Goldman Sachs to help launch Hudson Street, an independently
operated subsidiary offering investment research to clients. The group was
formed partly as a response to court settlements requiring that salespeople in big
banks rely on more than just their in-house analysts‘ reports. Coughlin got in on
the ground floor not only because she thought demand for that service would
grow—which it did—but also because she knew that the fledgling group needed
someone with her deep experience to serve customers.
―Being cognizant of the world around me and rolling the tape forward was
critical,‖ she explains. ―I watched two downturns and lots of layoffs, and swore
that I would always try to be one step ahead.‖ Many colleagues thought she was
crazy to leave her comfortable perch for an amorphous role—and to let her pay
and status takes a hit. However, the operating skills she built in helping to launch
and run Hudson Street are what propelled her into a business development job—
and ultimately the CEO‘s seat—at Isis Parenting.
2. Identify your disruptive strengths.
When disruptive companies identify unmet needs, they make sure those needs
match their distinctive strengths. They realize that market risk (trying and
potentially failing at something new) is better than competitive risk (competing
against entrenched, established players). A textbook example comes from the
Mexican wireless telephony provider American Moville. Instead of going head-to-
head with the wire-line incumbent, it went after the more than 80% of the
population who wanted to communicate but couldn‘t afford a landline.

21
Zigzagging career paths may be common now, but the people who zigzag best
don‘t do it randomly.
As you look to disrupt yourself, don‘t think just about what you do well—think
about what you do well that most others can‘t. Those are your disruptive
strengths. For example, I was a good financial analyst, but plenty of folks can
build models. What people have said they value most about me is what
psychologist Howard Gardner calls ―searchlight intelligence‖: the ability to
discern connections across spheres and see opportunities for cross-pollination.
David was a good developer, but more notably he was a standout marketer in a
world that required cross-functional fluency. Martin was successful at sales but
exceptional at bringing customer focus to a small, entrepreneurial business.
Designer and strategist Adam Richardson discovered his disruptive strength
early. In the 1990s, working at Sun Microsystems in his first job as an industrial
designer, he realized that firsthand knowledge of customers‘ needs was missing
from many designers‘ tool kits. He, by contrast, wasn‘t the strongest stylist but
was enthralled with market research and good at capturing it. (Consider that at
age 6 he was sketching designs for cars; by age 9, he was surveying neighbors
about their driving habits and measuring their car interiors.)
―I‘m a good listener, and I like finding patterns in chaotic qualitative data,‖ he
explains. He looked for a graduate program to help him hone those skills, but
because popular ones like IIT, in Illinois, and Stanford‘s Graduate School of
Design didn‘t exist then, he ended up cobbling together a course for himself via
the University of Chicago‘s self-directed Master of Arts Program in the
Humanities. He veered from the traditional industrial design path to study
anthropology, ethnography, sociology, cultural theory, and art history—
disciplines that are now the bedrock of his work that blends design with customer
insights and product strategy.
Consider also Gregory Sorensen, who resigned his positions as co-director of
Massachusetts General Hospital‘s biomedical imaging center and as a professor
of radiology and health sciences at Harvard Medical School to become CEO of

22
Siemens Healthcare North America. Sorensen was well established in his medical
and academic career when he discovered that his particular strengths matched up
well with the needs of Siemens. Sorensen wasn‘t a salesperson or a seasoned
business executive, but he was a respected doctor who had deep knowledge of
health care equipment and understood how to manage an organization. A few
colleagues at Harvard and Mass General questioned his decision, but Sorensen
embraced the disruption. He realized it would allow him to use his distinctive
skills in a new, potentially more rewarding way.
3. Step back (or sideways) in order to grow.
Just as a company‘s survival depends on revenue growth, an individual‘s well-
being depends on learning and advancement. When organizations get too big,
they stop exploring smaller, riskier but perhaps more lucrative markets because
the resulting revenues won‘t affect their bottom line enough. Just as Borders was
slow to embrace e-commerce in the bookselling industry, where it had been
successful, people who rise to a certain tier in their careers may allow themselves
to plateau. Personal growth often stalls at the top of a classic S curve. Disrupters
avoid that problem by jumping to a new role, industry, or type of organization
and putting themselves on an entirely different growth trajectory.
Adam Richardson did just that when he quit his Sun Microsystems job to enroll in
a graduate program unknown to people in his industry. So did Liz Brown, when
she left her hard-won job as a law firm partner. And let‘s not forget Clay
Christensen, who at age 40 left a corporate career at a materials science company
to pursue his doctorate at Harvard Business School. That ―step down‖ allowed
him to develop a theory that has changed the business world and has thrust him
into an extremely successful career as a teacher, consultant, and investor.
Disrupting yourself doesn‘t have to mean leaving your organization, however.
Take IDEO executive Dave Blakely, who has been with the design consultancy for
two decades but worked his way up in a decidedly unconventional manner. A
software engineer with a master‘s degree from the University of California at
Berkeley, he could have built a successful career in his core area of expertise,
perhaps eventually moving to a similar role at another Silicon Valley firm or

23
working his way up to manage technical staff. Instead, Blakely volunteered to
become a project manager at IDEO. His peers dismissed the new job as an escape
from the rigor and detail of engineering. But the backward move allowed Blakely
to broaden his skills and get comfortable with a more diverse group of colleagues,
including executives. He started climbing a new ladder and is now head of
technology strategy at IDEO. Alex McClung, the health care executive with 15 job
changes behind him, has had a similar experience. ―The sideways moves
accelerated my career by five years or more each time,‖ he says. ―Sideways always
turns into a slingshot.‖
4. Let your strategy emerge.
Disruptive innovation also rests on what has been described as emergent strategy.
Rather than performing detailed market analysis and developing a step-by-step
plan to achieve a goal, disrupters are flexible. They take a step forward, gather
feedback, and adapt accordingly. As Professor Amar Bhide at Columbia
University has shown , 70% of all successful new businesses end up with a
strategy different from the one they initially pursued. A well-known example is
Netflix, which started as a door-to-door DVD rental service but now focuses on
digital streaming of movies.
A parallel exists in disruptive careers. Because we‘re not following traditional
paths, we can‘t always see the end from the beginning. As John D. Rockefeller
wrote, ―If you want to succeed, you should strike out on new paths, rather than
travel worn paths of accepted success.‖ Crampton, the science teacher, never
expected to become a marketer or an online entrepreneur. When Liz Brown was
furiously billing hours and winning cases in her quest to make partner at her law
firm, she never imagined she‘d soon become executive director of Golden Seeds,
an investing network for women entrepreneurs, and teaching law at Bentley
University.
Another great example comes from Sabina Nawaz. As a young computer engineer
at Microsoft, she was moving deftly up the corporate ranks, taking on increasing
responsibility, and probably positioning herself for a coveted VP role. But after
getting some positive feedback about her management skills and emotional

24
intelligence (perhaps a disruptive strength in the software industry), Nawaz
decided to disrupt herself.
―I had been moving up in a traditional step-function way and I knew the formula
for success, but I no longer wanted the next title or promotion,‖ she recalls. ―I
wanted to stretch my boundaries.‖ She asked to move into a human resources
role, which she held for almost six years. Then, rather than continuing to climb at
Microsoft, she left to start a leadership development consultancy. That had never
been her career ambition, but Nawaz let her strategy emerge. The Engine Is You.
According to Christensen‘s research on disruptive innovation, when a company
pursues growth in a new market rather than an established one, the odds of
success are six times higher and the revenue potential 20 times greater. It‘s
impossible to quantify the effects of personal career disruption in the same way,
but anecdotal evidence suggests it can yield similar results—dramatically
improving your chances of finding financial, social, and emotional success.
The status quo has a powerful undertow, no doubt. Current stakeholders in your
life and career will probably encourage you to avoid disruption. For many of us,
though, holding steady really means slipping—as we ignore the threat of
competition from younger, more agile innovators, bypass opportunities for
greater reward, and sacrifice personal growth.
We give a lot of airtime to building, buying, and investing in disruptive
companies. They are vital engines of economic growth. However, the most
overlooked economic engine is you. If you really want to move the world forward,
you need to innovate on the inside—and disrupt yourself.
Jay Samit teaches people how to
master personal transformation,
seize opportunity, and thrive in
this era of endless innovation.

25
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within
us.”… Oliver Wendell Holmes
Although happiness is a timeless and
universal human quest, only in
recent years has research turned its focus
on how happiness can be sustained and
increased. Science has now confirmed
that with certain practices we can change
the neural
pathways of our brain. Happiness is a set of skills we can learn through practice.
The research proves that happiness is possible through intentional habit changes,
more than circumstantial changes. In fact, only 10% of our happiness is due to our
external circumstances and a full 90% is based on our inner environment, with 50%
of our happiness level coming from our genes and as much as 40% being accounted
for by our intentional daily activities and the choices we make.
So, what does this all mean? Putting the 7 habits into daily practice
really does affect our happiness, science says!
“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.” … Zig Zigalar

26
Habit #1: Mindfulness:
Mindfulness, the ancient practice of
focusing non-judgmental awareness on the
present moment, is increasingly recognized
in today‘s scientific community as an
effective way to reduce stress, increase self-
awareness, enhance emotional intelligence,
and effectively manage painful thoughts
and feelings.
The mind is highly trainable through various mindfulness practices like meditation,
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive
Therapy (MBCT). Evidence for the efficacy of mindfulness practices in improving
psychological well-being continues to grow. There are now nearly 500 scientific
studies on mindfulness/meditation and the brain in the National Institute of Health‘s
PubMed database.
Anyone can stand to benefit from cultivating the skills of mindfulness — particularly
in our busy modern lifestyles that are often characterized by stress, sleep deprivation,
multitasking and digital distractions.
Habit #2: Gratitude:
Research has found that gratitude can
significantly increase your happiness, and
protect you from stress, negativity, anxiety,
and depression.
Developing a regular gratitude practice is one
of the easiest ways to counter the brain‘s
negativity bias – the tendency to cling to the
negative things in our
environment. By intentionally focusing on the good parts of our day, the positivity
grows. In fact, it only takes 21 days of writing down three things you are grateful for

27
every day to begin reaping the benefits. Moral of the story? Count your blessings,
daily, it has a measurably positive effect on our well-being.
Habit #3: Wednesday Wellness:
Happiness is good for your health. And vice
versa. A review of hundreds of studies has
found compelling evidence that happier
people have better overall health and live
longer than their less happy peers. Anxiety,
depression, pessimism and a lack of
enjoyment of daily activities have all been
found to be associated with higher rates of
disease and shorter lifespans.
What‘s more, if you have a good sense of well-being, it‘s easier to maintain good
habits: Exercising, eating a balanced diet and getting enough sleep, researchers said.
People who have an optimistic mindset may be more likely to engage in healthy
behaviors because they perceive them as helpful in achieving their goals.
Taking care of your physical wellness may well be the most effective instant
happiness booster of all.
Habit #3: Thoughtful Thursday:
Happiness and altruism are intimately linked
– doing good is an essential ingredient to
being happy, and happiness helps spur
kindness and generosity.
Research suggests that how we spend our
time and resources is as important, if not
more important, than the amount of money
we make. Giving to others releases
endorphins, activating the parts of our brains
that are associated with trust,

28
pleasure, and social connection. Being altruistic and spending money on others leads
to higher levels of happiness than spending it on oneself. Happiness, in turn,
increases the chance that we‘ll be altruistic in the future, creating a positive feedback
loop of generosity and happiness. As the researchers write, ―Policies that promote
well-being may help to generate a virtuous circle, whereby increases in well-being
promote altruism that, in turn, increases well-being. Such a cycle holds the promise
of creating a ‗sustainable happiness‘ with broad benefits for altruists, their
beneficiaries, and society at large.‖
Habit #4: Friday Freedom:
When Dr. Brené Brown conducted thousands
of interviews to discover what lies at the root
of social connection, a thorough analysis of
the data revealed what it was: vulnerability.
To be clear, vulnerability does not mean
being weak or submissive. To the contrary, it
implies the courage to be your authentic self.
The rewards of vulnerability are
immeasurable.
When you embrace an authentic and vulnerable stance to life, people will meet you
there in that openness, allowing you to experience true connection.
Forgiveness is a byproduct of living authentically and vulnerably. Forgiveness doesn‘t
mean tolerance of error but rather a patient encouragement of growth. Practicing
forgiveness doesn‘t only benefit the person we forgive, recent research shows that it
has tangible benefits for ourselves as well. So the next time you‘re holding a grudge,
try letting it go for your own happiness!

29
Habit #5: Saturday Social:
Our busy lives often leave us stretched for
time to connect with others, but science
suggests that social connection should be tops
on our to-do lists. Dr. Emma Seppala from
Stanford‘s Center for Compassion and
Altruism Research and Education (CCARE)
says that when connection with others is
present, it can boost mental and physical
health, and even increase immunity and
longevity.
Relatedly, happiness is collective. Our happiness depends on the happiness of those
we are connected to. Science shows that through practicing happiness, we make
those we come into contact with happier. In other words, happiness is contagious!
This extends to the 3rd degree of contact (a friend of a friend of a friend).
Habit #6: Sunday Soul:
Many people tell themselves, ―If I work hard,
I‘ll be successful. If I‘m successful, I‘ll be
happy.‖ However, recent discoveries in
psychology and neuroscience show that this
formula is backward: Happiness fuels
success, not the other way around. In fact,
science has shown that, ―The brain at positive
is 31% more productive than at negative,
neutral or stressed.‖ ~Shawn Achor, Harvard
What‘s more, researchers have found that the type of work you do is key: engaging in
meaningful activity is a big indicator of happiness. As Harvard happiness expert Tal
Ben Shahar says, ―Happiness lies at the intersection of pleasure and meaning.‖ In
addition to seeking work imbued with a sense of purpose, scientists have discovered
that people thrive in environments where their strengths are emphasized. If we are
actively involved in trying to reach a goal, or an activity that is challenging but well
suited to our skills, we experience a joyful state or what famous psychologist Dr.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls ―flow.‖ The experience of flow in both professional and

30
leisure activities leads to increased positive effect, performance, and commitment to
long-term meaningful goals.

31
“It’s is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.“… Anthony Robbins
Martin Seligman is a larger than life character. Some call him the ―Father‖ of
Positive Psychology. This is perhaps an exaggeration, given
that multiple psychologists were already hard at work researching the problem of
well-being before he came onto the stage.
Nonetheless, he is perhaps the most public face of positive psychology. As the 1998
President of the American Psychological Association, he fought against psychology‘s
focus on deficit and illness, emphasizing the equal importance of helping people
thrive above the mean-coining the ―Positive,‖ in positive psychology.
I am writing this based on his latest article in which he debates about the science
behind well-being; we converse how Seligman‘s theories about happiness and well-
being have evolved through the years.
Three Paths to Happiness
In his 2002 book Authentic Happiness, Seligman proposed three ‗orientations‘ of
being happy, or Three kinds of happiness:
1) Pleasure
An individual leading a life of pleasure can be seen as maximizing positive emotions,
and minimizing negative emotions.
2) Engagement
An individual leading a life of engagement constantly seeks out activities that allow
her to be in flow.
Flow, coined by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, is a state of deep, effortless involvement. It
occurs most frequently when we concentrate our undivided attention on activities

32
that are moderately challenging to us. When you are in flow, it may seem that your
sense of self vanishes and time stops.
Seligman recommends that in order to achieve flow, you must identify your
signature strengths, or strengths that are deeply characteristic of yourself, and learn
how to practice them.
3) Meaning
An individual leading a life of meaning belongs to and serves something that is bigger
than himself. These larger entities could be family, religion, community, country, or
even ideas.
An individual trying to lead a full life would have to fulfill all three orientations to
happiness: He experiences positive emotions; derive engagement and gratification as
he exercises his signature strengths; and he uses these strengths in the service of
something larger to obtain meaning.
The Science
The science behind the Orientations to Happiness is sturdy enough. Multiple studies
showed that the fulfillment of each orientation correlates with life satisfaction, while
the lack of them predicted low life satisfaction. They predict life satisfaction beyond
personality and socio-demographic variables. The three orientations also correlate
with objective indicators of well-being, such as occupational and educational
attainment.
Nonetheless, the three orientations aren‘t equal. Orientations to engagement and
meaning were much better predictors of life satisfaction compared to the orientation
to pleasure. In fact, some studies found zero to negative correlations between
orientations towards pleasure and positive indicators such as life satisfaction and
educational goals. Studies conducted in Hong Kong, Taiwan, Australia,

33
Switzerland, and a study which sample included adults from 27 nations found that
orientations to engagement and meaning predicts life satisfaction while the
orientation to pleasure has a weak to negative correlation with life satisfaction.
A new theory: P.E.R.M.A
The 3 Orientations to Happiness was a good theory. However, things change. Nine
years later, in 2011, Seligman publishes a new book, Flourish. In it, he gives the
Orientations to Happiness the cold shoulder and reveals his new brainchild, PERMA
(and also talks about himself a lot).
Seligman isn‘t happy with his old theory for a few reasons. First, he criticizes it for
being too narrow and containing too few categories. He also puts it down for focusing
too much on life satisfaction, which he sees as being too dependent on mood. Well-
being, he argues, should exceed the hedonic, and be more than fleeting emotions. In
this way, Seligman paints his old theory as one-dimensional, and proposes an
alternative: PERMA.
PERMA adds two more elements of well-
being to the Orientations to Happiness:
Accomplishment and Positive
Relationships. The five elements of the
theory form the acronym:
P(leasure)
E(ngagement)
R(elationships)
M(eaning)
A(ccomplishment)

34
Accomplishment
Accomplishment involves the pursuit of success, winning, achievement and mastery,
both as end-goals and as processes. Seligman argues that many people would pursue
accomplishment for its own sake, even when it is devoid of positive emotions or
meaning. We look at politicians, and we know this is true.
Relationships
Seligman believes that the need and tendency towards relationships is biologically
and evolutionarily ingrained in us. Positive relationships are especially powerful
because it plays a role in supporting the other four components of well-being.
PERMA vs. Orientations to Happiness
But Seligman isn‘t happy with just adding two more categories to his old theory.
While the original theory is about maximizing happiness through the three factors, in
PERMA, well-being is a multidimensional construct that is defined by its five
components, with no single measure defining well-being by itself.
Another difference can be found in the place of signature strengths in the theories:
while in Orientations to Happiness, your signature strengths only serves to
encourage engagement, in PERMA, your signature strengths underpin and
contribute to all five elements of well-being.
The Science
Unfortunately, there are few research studies studying PERMA, so we can‘t say how
valid Seligman‘s theory is. This is partly due to it being a rather young theory and the
painfully slow pace of academic research.
A bigger reason perhaps, is that Seligman‘s theory had to compete with other well-
being theories that are much more established. Seligman tries to sell PERMA as the
―gold standard‖ of measuring well-being, but other researchers had already put all
their money on theories such as Carol Ryff‘s Psychological Well-being.

35
THE SIX CRITERIA OF WELL-BEING - CAROL RYFF’S
I have studied an article written by Professor Carol Ryff, find below my rendition of
―Well-Being‖. 20 years before we all start talking about well-being and thriving, Ryff
was already quietly working on the problem at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
She ended up creating one of the first systematic models of Psychological Well-Being,
and her model remain one of the most scientifically verified and empirically rigorous
today.
Carol Ryff was motivated by two things:
Firstly, well-being should not be restricted to medical or biological descriptions—
instead it is a philosophical question about the meaning of a good life.
Secondly, current psychological theories of well-being at that time lacked empirical
rigor–they had not been and could not be tested.
To construct a theory that joins philosophical questions with scientific empiricism,
Ryff mined for building blocks in a diverse selection of well-being theories and

36
research, from Aristotle to John Stuart Mill, from Abraham Maslow to Carl Jung. She
identified the recurrence and convergence across these diverse theories, and these
intersections gave her the foundation for her new model of well-being.
Carol Ryff‘s model of Psychological Well-being differs from past models in one
important way: well-being is multidimensional, and not merely about happiness, or
positive emotions. A good life is balanced and whole, engaging each of the different
aspects of well-being, instead of being narrowly focused. Ryff roots this principle in
Aristotle‘s Nichomachean Ethics, where the goal of life isn‘t feeling good, but is
instead about living virtuously.
1) Self-Acceptance
High Self-Acceptance: You possess a positive attitude toward yourself; acknowledge
and accept multiple aspects of yourself including both good and bad qualities; and
feel positive about your past life.
Low Self-Acceptance: You feel dissatisfied with yourself; are disappointed with what
has occurred in your past life; are troubled about certain personal qualities; and wish
to be different than what you are.
2) Personal Growth
Strong Personal Growth: You have a feeling of continued development; see yourself
as growing and expanding; are open to new experiences; have the sense of realizing
your potential; see improvement in yourself and behavior over time; are changing in
ways that reflect more self-knowledge and effectiveness.
Weak Personal Growth: You have a sense of personal stagnation; lack the sense of
improvement or expansion over time; feel bored and uninterested with life; and feel
unable to develop new attitudes or behaviors.

37
3) Purpose in Life
Strong Purpose in Life: You have goals in life and a sense of directedness; feel there is
meaning to your present and past life; hold beliefs that give life purpose; and have
aims and objectives for living.
Weak Purpose in Life: You lack a sense of meaning in life; have few goals or aims,
lack a sense of direction; do not see purpose of your past life; and have no outlook or
beliefs that give life meaning.
4) Positive Relations with Others
Strong Positive Relations: You have warm, satisfying, trusting relationships with
others; are concerned about the welfare of others; are capable of strong empathy,
affection, and intimacy; and understand the give and take of human relationships.
Weak Relations: You have few close, trusting relationships with others; find it
difficult to be warm, open, and concerned about others; are isolated and frustrated in
interpersonal relationships; and are not willing to make compromises to sustain
important ties with others.
5) Environmental Mastery
High Environmental Mastery: You have a sense of mastery and competence in
managing the environment; control complex array of external activities; make
effective use of surrounding opportunities; and are able to choose or create contexts
suitable to your personal needs and values.
Low Environmental Mastery: You have difficulty managing everyday affairs; feel
unable to change or improve surrounding contexts; are unaware of surrounding
opportunities; and lack a sense of control over the external world.

38
6) Autonomy
High Autonomy: You are self-determining and independent; are able to resist social
pressures to think and act in certain ways; regulate behavior from within; and
evaluate yourself by personal standards.
Low Autonomy: You are concerned about the expectations and evaluations of others;
rely on judgments of others to make important decisions; and conform to social
pressures to think and act in certain ways.
Conclusion
Nevertheless, what can we learn from the ―father‖ of positive psychology‘s two
theories of happiness? Don‘t chase pleasure or positive emotions. You don‘t have to
be sunny all the time in order to flourish. Instead, pursue flow states, and serve
something bigger than yourself. Well-being is multidimensional — there are many
parts to it. Understand yourself and your core strengths, and use them every day.
Develop close relationships. Achievement is okay-no need to give it all up to live in a
monastery. Also don‘t focus solely on it. Live a balanced life.
This video talks
on the Positive
Psychology –
Martin Seligman
Click to View the
Video

39
Action is everything! Resolve today to put these ideas to work, to face the
unpleasant situations in your life, and to become a completely positive, happy and
healthy person.
 Identify the shortcomings in your life, the negative people, situations, and
memories that keep you stuck in the swamp of negative emotions.
 Realize and accept that you are a thoroughly good person with enormous
potential to live an extraordinary life.
 Decide today to confront any negative situation in your life and get rid of it once
for all.
 Identify the factors that cause you to experience negative emotions, especially
anger, and begin changing your thinking in each area. Repeat the words "I am
responsible" over and over until they become permanent part of your personality.
 Refuse to criticize, condemn, or blame anyone else for anything. Instead, accept
complete responsibility for everything you are or will ever be.
 Accept yourself unconditionally, and build your self-esteem daily by repeating
continually, "I like myself".
 Decide exactly what you really want in life, then think, and talk about it all the
time. Get so busy working on achieving something that is important to you that
you have no time to think about the situations that can hold you back.
 Free yourself from the feelings of guilt by refusing to be manipulated by the
thought of guilt and by refusing to use it on anyone else
 Look for something good in every problem, difficulty, or situation you face. You
will always find some way to benefit.
 Seek the valuable lessons in every setback or obstacle, and strive to learn from
every problem you face, every challenges you have to deal with
 Treat every person you meet as if he or she was the most important person in the
word, the handsome prince or the beautiful princess.

40
You are thoroughly good person. You are designed for success and engineered for
greatness. You have within you more talent and ability than you could use in on
hundred lifetimes. There is virtually nothing that you can't accomplish if you want it
long enough and hard enough and are willing to work for it.
When you learn to release your mental brakes, forgive everyone who has ever hurt
you in any way, and dedicate yourself to becoming an excellent person in your
relationships with others and in your work, you take full control of your destiny. You
maximize all your abilities and put yourself on to the high road of health, happiness,
loving relationships, maximum achievement, and complete fulfillment.

Adversity Antidote Action - AAA

Recommandé

Recommandé

Contenu connexe

Tendances

Tendances (6)

Similaire à Adversity Antidote Action - AAA

Similaire à Adversity Antidote Action - AAA (20)

Dernier

Dernier (14)

Adversity Antidote Action - AAA