Conflict Resolution District 74 Toastmasters Leadership Institute 7 November 2009

1. Conflict Resolution Tony Lydall

2. 2 Introduction This is a competitive world Competition creates conflict Strong leaders resolve conflict

3. 3 Group Activity You are a Division Governor You hear from several clubs that one of your Area Governors is weak and ineffective, causing conflict How do you handle it?

4. 4 What good leaders do To help resolve conflict, leaders create: Direction – vision, mission, goals, plans Collaboration – team building, delegation Motivation – feedback, support, recognition

5. 5 What is conflict? Conflict is a real or perceived difference where: Two or more parties think they are right - and all others are wrong But, everybody is right in some way And everybody is wrong in some way

6. 6 Is conflict good or bad? How do you feel about conflict?

7. 7 The Good News Well-managed conflict gives: Better understanding Increased group cohesion Improved self-knowledge

8. 8 Common causes of conflict Personalities Issues Misperceptions

9. 9 Personalities Some team members Are in it for themselves Don’t like the others Know it all Are argumentative

11. Expectations

12. Commitment

14. Culture/language

15. Commitment

16. MisinformationPerception becomes reality

17. 12 Conflict Styles Competitive Collaborative Compromising Accommodating Avoiding Thomas and Kilmann

18. 13 Competitive Stand firm Know what they want Position themselves for power Appropriate In an emergency / quick decision Can leave people resentful

19. 14 Collaborative Meet needs of all Co-operate effectively Acknowledge everyone is important Appropriate When variety of viewpoints or previous conflict

20. 15 Compromising Solution will partially satisfy all But all will give up something Appropriate When cost of conflict is high When strengths are equal When deadline tight

21. 16 Accommodating Willingness to meet others’ needs Knowing when to give in Appropriate When issues matter more to others When peace is worth more than winning Unlikely to give best outcome

22. 17 Avoiding Seeking to evade conflict entirely Delegating controversial decisions Accepting default decisions Appropriate When victory is impossible When controversy is trivial Weak and ineffective result

23. 18 What’s your style? Group discussion

24. 19 Negative responses Violence Silence

26. Keep people and problems separate

27. Listen first, talk second

28. Pay attention to interests

29. Get and set out the facts

30. Explore options together* Interest-Based Relational Approach

32. Different styles may suit different situations

34. Listen actively

35. Restate/paraphrase

36. Summarise

38. Respect opinions

39. Focus on issues, not personalities

41. 25 Step Four – Brainstorm Solution Be open to all ideas Let everyone contribute Quantity counts Do not evaluate Categorise and summarise ideas

43. Once again, seek common ground

44. Focus on remaining issues

47. Be positive

49. Check relationships

50. Decide trades

51. Explore alternatives

53. Establish who has the power

55. Control your own emotions

57. 33 Roleplay During your division/area council meeting, a member regularly and disrespectfully interrupts the speaker. Inappropriate comments are made about the speaker or what is being said, creating conflict in the council. What do you do?

58. 34 Conclusion ... Open communication is important Allow all parties to express their views Be respectful, empathetic and caring Don’t let the discussion dissolve into accusations, blame or debate Avoid previous disagreements or behaviours

59. 35 Limit discussion to the facts Find the root cause Stay focussed Be a good listener, ask questions List possible solutions, find best one Keep moving forward ... Conclusion ...

60. 36 Question time ?