a bachelor challenge within a legacy

2. Welcome! I present to you, a bachelor challenge within a legacy. Godric, who has been recently voted heir to the Marmite legacy, has had trouble finding a spouse. This is ridiculous as he is simply STUNNING but his evil ex, Meretrix, used him in a plot to murder destroy his family and murder a child which would mess anyone up. I’ll warn you now, the writing is all over the place. I found this quite tough to write and it SHOWS. Plus, I haven’t read it back so it’s even more likely to have bits that make no sense or bits that are just plain bad. Enough excuses! Good luck and thank you to everyone who donated sims for me to abuse. Oh, and make sure you keep an eye out for Bethan lurking in the background of shots. XD

3. You may have noticed (although I wouldn’t expect anyone to) that Godric is still in the same place that he was when we last saw him. He has made absolutely no effort to find himself a girl- so I’m doing it for him. Godric! “Who said that?!” It’s me Lauren. Uh, The Voice. “The Voice! You’re the creator?” Yup. “But no one’s heard from you in years!” Well clearly I’m back. “But why?” Because you need help. I’m putting you into a Bachelor Challenge. “A Bachelor Challenge? What’s a-” *sigh* I’ve found you 8 potential spouses. You’ll be sent off to live with them for a week or so. Each day, the sim who has the lowest relationship score with you will leave the house. The last sim is your future bride-or husband. I’m assuming you would prefer a bride? “Definitely.” Well come on then. Time’s a’wastin’! “Right now? Shouldn’t I say goodbye to Mum and Dad?” I’ve left a note in the butter. “Will they find it there?” Oh they’ll find it alright.

4. DAY 1 “This is completely insane.” Perhaps it is, but you need a wife and since you can’t seem to find one by yourself... “I just haven’t met-” Yeah, yeah. The right one yet. Well you’re taking too long so I’m helping you out. This is a legacy you know. I need kidlets.

5. “You really think that a crazy boolprop challenge is the best way for me to find a wife?!” Yes actually, and it makes the fangirls happy. Anyhoo, you’ve got a swanky bachelor pad full of lovely ladies to fawn over you. You’re very lucky. I wouldn’t go to this much effort for most sims. “But I’m SCARED! They’ll eat me alive!” Nuh uh. “Uh huh” Tough cookie. Now hurry those shiny trousers of yours into that house. Go on, scoot!

6. Meet contestant number 1. This is Maryse who you may know as Hazel2511Player. She’s the author of the Avamust 10 kid challenge, the short lived Crystal Legacy and, my personal favourite, the Firebirch legacy which blends all the usual legacy goodness with fantastic plots and ELVES! ^.^ Maryse made her simself especially for this BC and I’m honoured. <3 “Hey, maybe this won’t be so bad after all...” That’s the spirit. I knew you’d get back into your horny old stride. “Hey!” Fine. Your romantic old stride.

7. NEXT! Contestant number 2 This is Desdemona Ironfoundersson the daughter of AnguaDiscworld a generation 1 spare from LadyDragonae’s fantastic Discworld legacy. I’ve always loved her because of her Shakespearean name and was naturally delighted when she was offered up as a BC contestant.

8. Contestant number 3 Meet Maia Avatar (get it?) the sim used by esmeiolanthe in her avatar. Emseiolanthe is the author of ‘All ready in progress’ a story that begins long before chapter one. She’s clearly immensely cool; I particularly like her one big gold hoop. She and Desdemona are the only non fangirl contestants and considering that Maia did not necessarily enter into this voluntarily, she’s settled in pretty well “Oooh, punch! Perhaps this will be worth it!”

9. Contestant number 4 Although, strictly speaking, Bethan here is contestant number 8. As I’m sure you know, usually BCs only have 7 contestants but Bethan is my little sister and she’s loved Godric for just as long as I have so it’s only fair. Plus, she begged me in the way that only relatives can- crushing you with guilt without saying a word. Bethan writes the Gladrags legacy which uses a different musical as each generation’s theme but draws inspiration from a much wider range of sources. Highlights of her legacy include Quentin the disorientated ninja and his butterfly nemesis. Bethan is a great help with all my simming endeavours and had earned the nickname ‘Bethan from the block’ for her incredibly irritating J Lo style “oh no you di’nt” head movement which is HILLARIOUS considering that she’s a nerdy, shy white girl. Oh Bethie I love you. XD

10. NEXT! Contestant number 5 This is Ani Mei , the simself of animeangel1983. Animeangel’s most latest project is ‘A Godly OWBC’ which I am already a huge fan of since it’s based around mythology and she clearly knows what she’s doing. I urge you to give it a looksie whilst there are just a couple of instalments to catch up on.

11. Contetsant number 6 My ever Myshuno crazed, zombie face pulling, latest simself- who bears very little resemblance to me. I don’t quite know what to say about her really. She’s probably my most interesting and accurate simself so far... Erm...I write The Marmite Alphabetacy (DUH!) and I’ve also tried my hand at some other stuff such as a really quite bad OWBC, a tedious asylum and a collection of seriously disturbing ‘stories’ with my friend.

12. “Hi, it’s Bethan right?” Godric smiled. “eeee!” she squealed. “I mean- yup!” “Well, it was nice to meet you.” and he sauntered away “Did you hear that? He said it was nice to meet me! He loves me already!” “That won’t do, she’s ahead already... I wonder how much damage I could do with this marker pen...” Contestant number 7 That’s right. It’s LucyPeppeR the author of the really quite astonishing Obsessions Legacy which is not only great but also finished. Lucy has also created a hilarious spin off asylum challenge named ‘Obsessive Compulsives’ and is preparing to start an apocalypse challenge. She’s a braaaavvveeee girl.

13. “Where the hell is everyone else? Great, I’ve been swindled. That’s the last time I trust random people I met on the internet.” “Erm, are you Iris? Everyone else is inside.” “Oh! Sorry, I guess it would have been sensible to check inside too...” “no worries, I’d stay out here for a bit if I were you, there are some real...characters in there.”

14. “I bet there are. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. I won’t let the fangirls hurt you.” “Aren’t you a fangirl?” “Well yeah, which is precisely why I want to stop any of the others getting near you. Some of them can be downright creepy.” Behind them, Bethan whispered to herself. “I shall make him mine and I shall call him Squishy.” Contestant number 8 Meet Iris AKA LadyDragonae , the author of The Anderson legacy and the Discworld legacy which is themed around the glorious world of Terry Pratchett who is one of the world’s finest living authors. Iris has kindly donated two sims for me to abuse and I’m sure she’ll live to regret it- unless, of course, she wins...

15. And so the challenge begins... I made the foolish mistake of giving them a poker table so it’s all they want to do now, but at least it’s making them interact. “Perhaps this won’t be so bad after all,” Godric mused as he looked around. “I can’t decide whether that’s an insult or a compliment.” said Maia. “Oh I didn’t mean-” “She’s just playing with you.” laughed Maryse. “You’re not half as smooth as I imagined you would be.” said Desdemona as she eyed him carefully. “Yeah, well...” he began defensively. “I’ve had a rough time with girls lately.” “That really was horrible wasn’t it?” Maryse agreed. “Yeah, I bet you’ve got some serious emotional scars.” said Desdemona “Well I wouldn’t say-” “Yes, see? He’s intimidated by us.” added Maia. “I would imagine that the betrayal of trust has screwed with his ability to form relationships.” “And it’s possible that his confidence has taken a tumble.” “Most definitely Maryse, his sense of self worth will have shattered-” “And now he sees himself as less of a man.” Desdemona concluded. “Then there will be a whole range of longer term consequences-”

16. “hey, where’d he go?” “yogusheiyesfwitgushgenurledhimwoffosh” Lauren gushed through a mouthful of punch. “what?” “She said you frightened him off.” Lucy explained. “Perhaps we were a little insensitive.” “Are you kidding? Your mouths are so big that you speak in Dolby surround sound! O! I’m just messing with you but seriously, I put the lime in your coconut if y’know what I mean. ZING!”

17. “So how are you finding things Godric?” “Erm, ok so far. It’s a little hard to get used to.” “Surely you’re used to being the centre of large numbers of women’s attention?” “Yes, but they don’t normally throw themselves at me quite this openly. I mean, you’re all in your underwear.” “This place has a very casual vibe. Relax, get yourself some jelly, add an extra squirt of cream, live the dream. Besides, you’re in your PJs.” “How the-?” “It’s a VERY powerful vibe.”

18. “Hey guys! Isn’t this place amazing? It’s a shame there’s no kitchen though. I do love kitchens. Granite worktops, mmmmm. Ooh, and those fridges with the ice dispensers. And utensils of course! Everyone loves utensils.” She spoke very quickly, seemingly without blinking. Godric nodded weakly. “What’s your favourite kitchen utensil Godric?”

19. Crap, think of a utensil quick. “Erm, spatulas” he ventured “NO WAY! They’re my favourite too! I made one in D.T once at school and mine was sooo much better than the one that Lauren made. What do you think is the best thing about them?” “Errr... The...handle.” “EXACTLY! I love the way the metal ones have that cool insulator stuff to stop you burning your hand. Isn’t that thoughtful of them? Because it must cost more to make them with that stuff. Or do they charge extra? Of course then there are the wooden ones but I don’t like the way that wood seems to stay wet for AGES. Then you have to dry them with a hairdryer. I put one in the tumble dryer once but trust me, that’s not a good idea...”

20. “...isn’t it a cool word?! Spatula, spatula spatuuuuullllaaaaa!” “Y’know, I heard that in some places spatulas are called ‘turners’ or ‘flippers’.” “ZOMG. Really? That’s crazy!” “I know.” “That doesn’t make any sense!” “Well, I suppose you can turn or flip things with them can’t you” “Oh yeah! I’d never thought about it like that. But I still think spatula is better. I mean, don’t you think Mr Fabian Spatula deserves to have his great invention named after him?” “Fabian Spatula?” “Oh my yes! He was born in Koala Lumpur in the year 1578 under the name of Reggie Frinkle...”

21. “Hey! Where did the poker table go?” Sorry Maryse, but it was all everyone did. But there’s a jukebox now! Pretty cool eh? “I don’t know, it doesn’t look as much fun.” Shortly after... “This is great! Desdemona! Come and try it!” “No really, I’m fine.” she laughed. “Oh come on! Live a little!”

22. “So it’s left, right, shimmy shimmy- Hey, this is pretty fun!” “I told you so! Oh, the song is changing!” “Uh oh, is this what I think it is?” It was. It was Cotton Eye Joe. “I can’t do it Maryse. I just can’t-” “Don’t be afraid of the tacky nineties dance goodness.” “But it’s terrible! I can’t bear it!” “Don’t listen to the music, feel the music. Do what it tells you.” “It’s telling me to line dance and swing an imaginary lasso around my head.” “EXACTLY!”

23. Pretty soon there began to be regular smustling contests. Unfortunately, MC Bethan claimed she could only find 3 tracks: Love shack by the B52s, 99 Luftbalons by Nena and, of course, Cotton Eye Joe. The dancing standard improved VERY slowly.

24. In particular, Godric spent lots of time with Ani Mei and Desdemona on day one. Bethan was not happy about this.

25. Night fell for the first time on the Bachelor Pad and Godric took an outdoor Mammoth shower (as you do) in his garish swimwear, thinking about which sim would leave the house tomorrow. He was also aware that the girls were watching him from the windows and was therefore lathering and tossing his hair more than he would usually do. But he wasn’t the only one feeling thoughtful.

26. Look at him, the posy pretty boy. It’s not fair. He has 8 lovely ladies who all want to marry him. Eight of them! He doesn’t deserve them. They should be treated better. Oh my darlings, if you only knew how much I loved you, how much happier I could make you... Until tomorrow my angels, adieu!

27. In the end, no one slept much that night. Maia decided to turn on the stereo I stupidly put in the bedroom at 2.30 am. “Well I couldn’t sleep.” she insisted. “Ooh! A mallet to the head! That ALWAYS sends me to sleep!” called Bethan

28. No one bothered to go back to bed after that and whilst Iris decided against diving in for the 5th consecutive time (much to the delight of the lonely mammoth)... ...my simself bonded my Maia. It turns out that simLauren finds her hilarious.

29. DAY 2 Which made it even sadder when she was the first sim to leave the house!!!!! Thank you to both Maia and Esmeiolanthe.

30. Godric stop slap dancing. Why would you say such a thing?! Because the rules say it’s time for the first hot tub group date and we have to get you up there and then watch the others scramble to get there first.

31. The sims who managed to get there quick enough were Lucy, Maryse and Desdemona (who, like Godric, got in naked and yet they were both shocked by each other’s nakedness.) It was quite an awkward hot tub session at first. Eventually Godric successfully broke the ice with a knock-knock joke involving an undercover grapefruit and all was well.

32. “So how was the hot tub?” “It was good! But Godric being naked was a little... *cough* distracting.” “Naked? Maybe I should have stopped my Myshuno game and tried to get there after all!” “You’ve been doing this the whole time?” “Nah, Bethan vanished for a bit so I went to look for her. It turned out that instead of trying to get in the hot tub, she waited till she knew Godric was in there and then broke into his room. She kept mumbling ‘oh Squishy’ in her sleep.” “Bless,” “yeah, and then we went in the hot tub with Rissa and Ani Mei.”

33. “Well haven’t we done well! Congrats peeps! The clouds are obscuring the sun, it’s a cool 3 degrees Celsius and we’ve made it to the winning hot tub!” “No you idiot! This is the losing hot tub. We want to be in the other one. The one that’s inside and that has a naked Godric in it. You’ve got it confused!” “Have I Ani Mei? Have I really?”

34. Godric was instructed to get to know each sim individually. “... Eventually I go to the point where I’d read the same sentence at least 14 times and I hadn’t taken in a work of it!” “I know exactly what you mean! You just need to find something more interesting to read!” Godric recognised an opportunity. “What would you recommend?” ................. PLEASE NOTE >>>>>

35. “So you’re already married back in your original universe?” “Aha, a snag. What to tell him... How honest should I be? Maybe I should say that Remus cheated on me. Would he buy that? Or maybe I should tell him about his chocolate addiction, but accidently say cocaine instead of chocolate. It’s easily done...” “Er, Lucy. I can hear you.”

36. “No you can’t.” “yes I can.” “No you don’t.” “What? That doesn’t make sense?” “You started it.” “No I didn’t.” “Yes you did! I said ‘Lucy I can hear you’ and you said ‘no you can’t’ and I said ‘yes I can’ and you said ‘no you don’t’-” “Now you’re not making any sense. I’m bored of this.” “I’m bored of you!” “Well did I mention that I’m rubber and you’re glue?” “What?” “Boing flip!” “What?” “That’s the sound of things bouncing of me and sticking to you.” “Don’t be so-” “BOING FLIP.” “Stop that!” “BOING FLIP.”

37. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT... *prays for reference recognition* Here’s a nice tame slide with a lovely pic of Godric and Iris communicating though the language of dance.

38. Bethan still seemed to bring every conversation back to spatulas, but Godric had to admit that they could actually be quite interesting. Besides, at least they were a safe topic. He was never quite sure what to say to the girls when the rules ordered him to start a conversation on demand. He usually picked a starting topic completely out of the air and it didn’t end well.

39. “Solar power?! That’s not a viable energy source for the future! With its low efficiency and high cost it could never realistically provide a significant percentage of our energy needs!” “Oh yeah... I forgot about all that...”

40. But it was easy to get spooked out of your smoothness in that place. “Oh Godric it’s so good of you to come and visit me in my toilet!” “...yeah....well, rules are rules. I have to um... go over there now but I’ll be sure to come back soon...” “Excellent Smithers- I mean, Godric!” “Right...” Creepy >>

41. “Hey, I remember you! You’re the luuurrrvvvveee penguin right?” “Sure am, I haven’t seen you since you were a teen.” “Yeah, you said if I petted you it would bring me luck which was a total load.” “I work in mysterious ways Goddybaby. Has it occurred to you that maybe you had to got through that to end up in here where you’ll find your one true love?” “No actually... Sorry.” “Hakunamatatta, c’mon give me a pet.”

42. Cunningly, Maryse crept in to Godric’s room through an open window whilst he was sleeping. Look how happy she is! Look how blissfully unaware Godric is! She woke up early the next morning and snuck out. “And he’ll never know I was here.” she smiled to herself. “See you tomorrow night!”

43. DAY 3 Day 3 called for the beginning of flirting much to the girls’ delight. But- and I know this may cause some of the readers whose simselves are taking part a great deal of distress- not everyone was very receptive. SUCESSFUL FLIRTS >

44. Ani Mei Desdemona Bethan Iris

45. Which means that Maryse, Lucy and my simself rejected the interactions!!!! I was ENRAGED I tell you! *shakes fist around whilst stomping on hat* But at least Maryse and Lucy have someone else to share their pain. :’C

46. “That’s it Mar! Go girl go! Now you’ve got it! Smustle like a donkey on acid!” Actually Lucy, I’m afraid you’ve got to go. “What?!”

47. “You mean I’m the next to go?” Sorry. I didn’t want you to go either. “I have to go out there?! In the cold? All on my own?” Don’t worry, I’ll put you back in the nice little hobbit hole I had all the boolprop sims living in before the challenge. Maia’s already there and more people will turn up soon. “*sigh* well ok then.”

48. And so Lucy became the second sim to leave. Wait a second, it’s taken me this long to get to the second sim leaving?! Yikes! I better speed up a bit. I’ll miss you Lucy and I’m also gutted that I won’t get your awesome facial expression genes into my bloodline! Not just yet anyway...

49. Iris, Maryse and Ani Mei were the 3 sims who made it into the next hot tub session whilst Lauren, Bethan and Desdemona chilled-quite literally- in the outdoor one. “Do you think they’re warm enough outside?” “Well it’s a hot tub.” “Don’t worry Ani Mei, I’m heard Lauren muttering about some old cup-a-soup packets she found under the sofa cushions. They’ll warm them up.”

50. “I’ve never really seen the attraction of soup.” “Really?” “Yeah, I guess I’m just not a soup person.” “Everyone’s a soup person Godric. You just haven’t had good soup.”

51. “Relax Ani, it’s only a foodstuff made by combining ingredients such as meat or vegetables with stock, water or other liquids.” “Soup is not something to joke about. It’s over 8000 years old and it deserves your respect. And frizzy hair isn’t something to joke about either so please don’t splash me.”

52. WHAT THE-? Day 3 is the day of the chess table dates and, whilst Godric was occupied with someone else, the other girls SMUSTLED. I love Godric in the background of this shot.

53. “why hello there...” “Umm, hi.” “I seem to have a large number of weeds around me would you care to come and...garden?” Those weeds grew from your filthy twisted thoughts mammoth! Stop harassing my sims! Ani Mei was in the pool because of that dratted buffet table. I knew I shouldn’t have let them have extra portions of cream. It didn’t really bother me but she’s not my simself is she? So I have returned her to her normal self. <3

54. DAY 4 Day 4 dawned and Bethan decided to step up her game by proving how bootylicious she could be.

55. There had been lots of rule ordered flirting in the small hours of the morning ALL of which was met with swoons and sighs.

56. But it was not enough to save my simself! “Er, shouldn’t you be going Lauren?” “Oh that’s nice Iris! After all we’ve been through! The Myshuno games, that time when the toilet clogged , that time when we watched the yummy channel for 7 hours straight... And You’re this keen to get rid of me?!” “Lauren, just go.” “What, now?” “Mmm hmmm.” “Fine.” And so, my simself (who seemed to be constantly in her underwear. Not even her PJs-her undies.) became the 3rd person to leave. As you can see something far more interesting was happening inside the house and no one watched her go. *sniff*

57. Hot tub time Godric! “Again?! I’ll be like a prune by the end of this!” Nah. It’s important anyway. Two sims will have to leave tomorrow because we have one more than we should do. “Why don’t we do it around a table instead? Then I won’t have to be nude.” hey, that’s not my fault! “Well it’s not mine either! I didn’t ask to be this outgoing! “ Just strip and get in the hot tub so I can start the mad dash to stew beside you.

59. They all like TV

60. Desdemona doesn’t like talking about cooking

61. Godric splashed Iris

62. Iris laughed and splashed him backWhat else do you want from me!?

63. You’re STILL in the hot tub?! “Well you didn’t tell me to get out so-” You should be flirting and sharing interests! We’re so behind schedule now! “In the hot tub, out the hot tub, make up your mind!” Get out quick, before you go all wrinkled!

64. The flirting didn’t go so well. He tried to caress Iris a little to soon and Maryse apparently does NOT share food. Duly noted Maryse. ;) DAY 5

65. Things were looking a little better with Desdemona... “*giggle* oh Godric, and then what? Hehe, and then?yes, Yes, yeah... *giggle* Definitely! WHAT?! HELL NO!” What happened? “I have no idea.”

66. Despite minor flirting hiccups, Godric continued to grow closer to the 5 remaining girls.

67. None of the remaining contestants wanted to think about who would leave that day. So, to take their minds off it, they, of course, held a smustle contest. Which Maryse won! “yes!” “Aww well,” “WHAT?!” “That’s it! No more watching SpongeBob in the afternoons! From now on it’s practice dawn till dusk. The regime starts NOW.” “But it’s the episode with Johnny Depp in today.” “The regime starts tomorrow!”

68. But that was Maryse’s last smustle in the house because she and Desdemona- who had seemingly formed a dance duo- left that day. I’ll really miss both of them! Losing two sims in one day is too cruel. I’m getting really quite attached to them all!

69. Which means that the final 3 contestants are Ani Mei, Iris and Bethan. One of these sims will marry Godric, be the mother of generation H and go down in Marmite history. I realise that isn’t much of a big deal really but it is if you’re the author!

70. So will Godric’s bride be: Bethan?

71. Ani Mei?

72. Or Iris?

73. Bad pervy mammoth! Leave Iris alone! Well, that’s the end of the first half of the Bachelor Challenge. It’s been hilarious to watch. I love simselves; they’re always that little bit crazier than regular sims. I don’t know how other simmers have found the BC but I think the writing aspect of it is really quite difficult. You have to try and avoid saying ‘Godric flirted twice with each of them and Iris accepted both, Bethan rejected the first one but not the second...’ etc. HOW YOU DOIN’? It’s quite difficult to make a plot out of it because you have to follow the rules and you can’t deliberately makes them interact with each other. Listen to me making excuses! :O Anyhoo, next time we’ll find out who wins Godric’s hand in marriage and hopefully get onto the wedding and maybe the first kidlet! Thanks for reading and since I think everyone who reads the legacy that I’m aware of is in it in some way or other, thanks again.