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By Taylor Neal
Zach Almond is a
sophomore at North Stanly
High School. I have
known him since Third
Grade and we have been
best buds ever since.
Throughout middle school
we sat at the same lunch
table almost every day,
with at least four other
people: Jake, Jacob, Zach
H., Hoseng, and whoever
else decided to join us.
Zach is the trouble-maker
of the group. He’s always
looking for new ways to
aggravate people solely
because of the fact that it’s
Jake is also a North Stanly sophomore. We hung out every
day at New London, and he was one of the daily members
of our lunch table. Jake is the redneck of the group, always
coming up with crazy ideas for us to do that would likely
land us in the hospital if we were to attempt them. His idea
of dressing formally is wearing a nice pair of overalls with
at least one strap buckled. He loves to throw parties in his
basement and always has random (and stupid) events
planned for them, such as flashlight tag or Guitar Hero.
Zach H. is the funny-
man from our New
London group. He was
the class clown in every
class and can make any
Almost everything he
says is a joke of some
kind—”That’s what she
said!” being his
specialty. He is
obvoiusly very difficult
to take seriously.
Zach is always bald
and hardly ever sports
any other hair style.
Comer is the midget of the group. No, he’s not actually a midget.
Through middle school he was shorter than most of the girls,
whom he flirted with regardless. Comer was always confident
that the best-looking girls in the school liked him. He even asked
one out. Rejected! Though even after that he walked over to us
and said “She digs me.”
Comer has grown at least a foot since eighth grade. He is no
longer the midget of the group. His new title is yet to be decided.
Jackson is another friend of
mine who currently attends
North Stanly High School. He
and I were in every class
together since sixth grade
started and we quickly became
best friends. Jackson loves to
mess with people. One day last
year we called a good-looking
girl we know from Albemarle
and told her to call my house
and ask for my little brother
Garrett, and told her to tell him
anonymously that he is a sexy
beast. When she did this,
Garrett quickly hung up the
phone, then freaked out
because he hung up on girl
who called him sexy. Best.
Delilah, who prefers the name Carl but I couldn’t care less, is a friend of
mine whom I’ve been friends with since before Kindergarten. We were in
the same class at Millingport from Kindergarten to second grade. After
that, I transferred to Kendall Valley and he stayed at Millingport. We
caught up in sixth grade, when we both enrolled at New London Choice
Middle School. We have gone to the same school since then and are now
both students at Gray Stone Day School.
(The above picture is not the actual Delilah.)
Big Caesar, The Pizza Man, Pepperoni—the list of Henry’s pizza based
names goes on. You’re probably wondering, “How did he get such
random and awkward nicknames?” Because his nipples are freakin’ huge,
It all started one day before basketball practice in the bathroom when we
were changing. When Henry took off his shirt, everyone was immediately
concerned. We thought he had a disease. “Extremlygiganticnippleosis.”
One of us decided to scream “Nice pepperoni’s, Henry!” Thus the pizza
based nicknames began. Ah. Good times.
Mary is a student at Gray Stone Day School. I met her
last year on the first day of cross country practice and
we have been friends ever since. I like to call her fat
because its funny. She starts more random insider jokes
than any other girl I know. She is fat.
Janna is one of the
sweetest girls I have
ever met. I have known
her since Kindergarten
and went to the same
school as her until 6th
grade, when I
transferred to New
London Choice Middle
She is now a student at
Gray Stone, for whom
she runs Cross Country.
She is a very good
student and a very
I met Ben at basketball camp the summer
before my freshman year. I didn’t get to know
him until fall however when cross country
season started. We have friends ever since.
Ben is known as Ben Jammin’, Ben 10, and