Hal home select-mate-6-9-2012

• Introduction
1. God sustains homes & nations
who trust in Him

3

1 1.
Except the LORD build the house, & nations
God sustains homes
they labour intrust that build it:
who vain in Him
except the LORD keep the city,
the watchman waketh but in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late,
to eat the bread of sorrows:
for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
4

• Introduction
2. Selecting a mate: 2nd most crucial decision in life
after 1st submitting to Christ for salvation
3. Learn God’s role & man’s role—
do our part & trust God to do His!
4. Consequences are lifelong—
reaching even to eternity!

5

I. God’s Role in Our Finding the Right Mate
A. God Ordained Marriage for Our Good
Marriage reflects God’s love
for man

6

Marriage reflects God’s love for man
18 And the LORD God said,
It is not good that the man should be alone;
I will make him an help meet for him.
+++++++++ ++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall
upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs,
and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from
man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones,
and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be 7

B. God Joins Us in a Lifelong Covenant
Irrevocable commitment
to stay together & serve each other
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife:
and they shall be one flesh.

8

God joins us when we vow

9

God joins us when we vow
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together,
let not man put asunder.
+++++++++ ++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++

9 And I say unto you,
Whosoever shall put away his wife,
except it be for fornication,
and shall marry another,
committeth adultery:
and whoso marrieth her which is put away
doth commit adultery.
10

Until death does us part

39 The wife is bound by the law
as long as her husband liveth;
but if her husband be dead,
she is at liberty to be married to whom she will;
only in the Lord.
11

C. God Instructs Us in Proper Attitude & Conduct
Render mutual love & service

12

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

13

25 Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church,
and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it
with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious
church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing;
but that it should be holy and without blemish.

14

D. Guides Us If We Trust His Providence
God gives what we seek
according to His will
14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers:
and a prudent wife is from the LORD.
22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing,
and obtaineth favour of the LORD. 15

God gave Adam his wife
& Eve her husband
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

16

God gave Isaac his wife
and Rebekah her husband by providence
 Help of parents trusting God

17

1 And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age:
and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.
2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his
house, that ruled over all that he had,
Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD,
the God of heaven, and the God of the earth,
that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son
of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my
kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.

18

5 And the servant said unto him, Peradventure
the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land:
must I needs bring thy son again unto the land
from whence thou camest?
6 And Abraham said unto him,
Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.
7 The LORD God of heaven,
which took me from my father's house,
and from the land of my kindred,
and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying,
Unto thy seed will I give this land;
he shall send his angel before thee,
and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. 19

8 And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee,
then thou shalt be clear from this my oath:
only bring not my son thither again.
9 And the servant put his hand under the thigh
of Abraham his master,
and sware to him concerning that matter.

20

God gave Isaac his wife
and Rebekah her husband by providence
 Help of friends trusting God

21

 Help of friends trusting God
12 And he said, O LORD God of my master
Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed
this day, and shew kindness unto my
master Abraham. Blessed be the LORD God
27 And he said,
of my master Abraham,
who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy
and his truth:
I being in the way, the LORD led me to the house
of my master's brethren.
56 And he said unto them, Hinder me not,
seeing the LORD hath prospered my way;
send me away that I may go to my master. 22

Each life is unique, but God is the same God!

23

II. Our Role in Finding the Right Mate
A. 1st Priority: Live by Faith In God
Live by faith in Christ in all things
20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live;
yet not I, but Christ liveth in me:
and the life which I now live in the flesh
I live by the faith of the Son of God,
who loved me, and gave himself for me.
24

Constant prayer asking God’s help
Trust He can find the right mate
14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers:
and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

25

Constant prayer asking God’s help
Ask His wisdom to understand
& fulfill our role

26

Ask His wisdom to understand
& fulfill our role
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,
that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not;
and it shall be given him.
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.
For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea
driven with the wind and tossed.

27

A. 1st Priority: Live by Faith In God Life
Trust His providence in all areas of life
 God rules all things now as in Abraham’s day
 He cares for birds &
flowers, how much more for us!

28

 Behold the fowls Hethe air: for birds &
26 of cares
for they sow not, neither do they reap,
flowers, how much more for us!
nor gather into barns;
yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.
Are ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought
can add one cubit unto his stature?
28 And why take ye thought for raiment?
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
they toil not, neither do they spin:
29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon
in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the
field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven,
shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? 29

A. 1st Priority: Live by Faith In God Life
Trust His providence in all areas of life
Patiently wait on the Lord
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see
the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage,
and he shall strengthen thine heart:
wait, I say, on the LORD. 30

B. Be Godly in Character
Seek forgiveness when sin against God or man
 Become a Christian,
be serious about going to heaven
38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent,
and be baptized every one of you
in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins,
and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. 31

 Repent & pray when stumble
22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness,
and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart
may be forgiven thee.
32

 Correct sins against others
23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar,
and there rememberest that thy brother
hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the altar,
and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy
brother, and then come and offer thy gift. 33

Learn & live unselfish love

34

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly [rudely],
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil [keeps no record of wrongs];
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity,
but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things,
hopeth all things, endureth all things. 35

Be pure & holy in life
14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves
according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
15 But as he which hath called you is holy,
so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
36

FORMER LUSTS IN YOUR IGNORANCE
Fornication Dishonest - Gamble Be
Idolatry
Adultery ye
Homosexuals
Thieves holy;
As
Covetous
Drugs
Drunkards
Social Drinking
Revilers
Extortioners
Tobacco Addiction
I
am
Holy!
Forsake Worship Assemblies 37

Make the tongue a blessing,
not a curse—encourage, compliment
18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword:
but the tongue of the wise is health.

38

C. Seek a Mate Godly in Character
Seeks forgiveness if sins against God or man
 Become a Christian,
be serious about going to heaven
 Repent & pray when stumble
 Correct sins against others

39

C. Seek Mate Godly in Character
Be pure & holy in life
Make the tongue a blessing,
not a curse—encourage, compliment

40

D. Prepare for Practical Duties
Man: provide spiritual leadership & daily needs
 Diligent & provident like the ant
6 Go to the ant, thou sluggard;
consider her ways, and be wise:
7 Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,
8 Provideth her meat in the summer,
and gathereth her food in the harvest. 41

D. Prepare for Practical Duties
Woman: focus on spiritual & daily needs of family
 Wise, kind, diligent worker
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom;
and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her
household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
42

III. Our Decision Has Lifelong Consequences
A. If the Lord Builds the House: We Listen to Him
Mutual loving service & blessings
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them
according to knowledge,
giving honour unto the wife,
as unto the weaker vessel,
and as being heirs together of the grace of life;
that your prayers be not hindered. 43

III. Our Decision Has Lifelong Consequences
B. If We Build Without God, We Sorrow & Suffer
Like toothache & broken bone
19 Confidence in an unfaithful man
in time of trouble is like a broken tooth,
and a foot out of joint.

44

HOME BUILT WITH GOD HOME BUILT W/o GOD
Prayer, Bible Study Resist Prayer, Bible Study
Attend Worship Together Resist Attending Worship
Invite Christians Resist Inviting Christians
Teach Children God’s Word Lack of Teaching, Division
Sexual Purity Porn, Adultery, Incest
Tongue Used as Blessing Tongue Used As Curse
No Alcohol, Drugs, Dance, Alcohol, Drugs, Dance,
Immodesty, Gambling Immodesty, Gambling
Stability, Happiness Unstable, Unhappy
God Honored, Glorified God Dishonored, Shamed
Heirs Together in Heaven Separated in Heaven & Hell 45

• Invitation
1. God sustains homes & nations
who trust in Him

46

1 1.
Except the LORD build the house, & nations
God sustains homes
they labour intrust that build it:
who vain in Him
except the LORD keep the city,
the watchman waketh but in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late,
to eat the bread of sorrows:
for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
47

• Invitation
2. Selecting a mate: 2nd most crucial decision in life
after 1st submitting to Christ for salvation
3. Learn God’s role & man’s role—
do our part & trust God to do His!
4. Consequences are lifelong—
reaching even to eternity!

48

• Invitation
5. Most crucial decision in life: submitting to Christ
Accept salvation, enter God’s family
38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent,
and be baptized every one of you
in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of
sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

49

• Invitation
5. Most crucial decision in life: submitting to Christ
Be restored to God’s family

22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness,
and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart
may be forgiven thee.

50

Hal home select-mate-6-9-2012

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Hal home select-mate-6-9-2012