1. ESSAY ORGANIZER Submit by Email Print Form
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Your Name Halle Hinkle
Your Topic Why Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh are the greatest
beach volleyball team ever.
Type of Essay
need help choosing?
Persuasive / Argumentative Compare / Contrast Cause / Effect Definition
Informational Interview Descriptive Evaluation Literary Analysis
Division and Classification Narrative Other
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greatest-women-s-beach-volleyball-team">Misty May and Kerri Walsh are thegreatest
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Thesis Statement
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I believe that... Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh are the greatest women's beach volleyball team ever.
Is your thesis narrowly focused?
READ THIS BEFORE MOVING ON
Did you complete the thesis checklist?
Is your language at a high-level?
Your Subtopics
Topic High School and College Topic Topic
AVP Olympics
1 Careers 2 3
Are your topics different?
Are your topics interesting?
By discussing these topics, will you be able to prove your thesis true?

2. Topic 1 High School and College Careers
What is a good sentence to
Misty May and Kerri Walsh dominated on the indoor court long before they step
introduce this topic to your
foot on the sand.
reader?
Is your language at a high-level?
In 1992 and 1994 Misty May led her high school Newport Harbor High School to a California
Support #1 State Championship. She also received (Mizuno) High School National Player of the Year Award.
Kerri Walsh attended Archbishop Mitty High School where she played Varsity.
Source http://www.ask.com/bar?q=misty+may+college+career&page=1&qsrc=0&ab=1&u=http%3A%2F
%2Fwww.mikasasports.com%2Fmisty-may%2Fmisty-may-biography.php
Is your language at a high-level?
Kerri Walsh attended Stanford University where in 1996 she received National Freshman of the
Support #2 Year, First Team All-American, Final Four Most Valuable Player, First Team All-Pac-10, Named
to Pac-10 All-Freshman Team, All-Tournament selection at the NCAA Pacific Regional, All-
Tournament pick at the Goff/Michigan State University Volleyball Classic, Named AVCA
National Player of the Week on October 21, and Named Pac-10 Player of the Week on October
Source http://www.ask.com/bar?q=kerri+walsh+stanford+university+college First Team All-District 8,
21. In 1997 Kerri Walsh received First Team AVCA All-American,
+career&page=1&qsrc=167&ab=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gostanford.com%2Fsports%2Fw-
First Team All-Pac-10, NCAA Mountain Regional Most Valuable Player Selected as Pac-10,
volley%2Fmtt%2Fwalsh_kerri00.htmllanguage atthe First Team All-American honors despite being
Player of the Week on November 17, Earned a high-level?
Is your
slowed by shoulder problems for most of the season. 1995 Kerri Walsh's Senior year she also
received First Team AVCA All-American, Named Pac-10 Player of the Long Beach University to
In Misty May who was a setter in college led her undefeated team from Year, becoming the sixth
Cardinal to earn the honor, First Team All-Pac-10, Member of the NCAA Mountain Regional All-
Support #3 a National Championship where she received MVP of the tournament award, Honda Boderick
Tournament Team.
NCAA Athlete of the Year Award, and First Team all American. Misty also made First Team All
American her Sophomore and Junior year.
Source http://www.ask.com/bar?q=misty+may+college+career&page=1&qsrc=2417&ab=5&u=http%3A%
2F%2Fwww.netglimse.com%2Fcelebs%2Fpages%2Fmisty_may%2Findex.shtml
Is your language at a high-level?
What is a good sentence to
After Misty and Kerri finished their college careers they were on to bigger
transition into the next
and better things.
paragraph? Transition word help
Is your language at a high-level?
QUICK PARAGRAPH CHECKLIST
Is the information arranged from less important to most important?
Does every sentence help support your topic?
Does this information get you a step closer to proving your thesis?
Do you provide sentences of different lengths and complexities in this paragraph?

3. Topic 2 AVP
What is a good sentence to
After dominating on the indoor court Misty May and Kerri Walsh moved on to
introduce this topic to your
achieve higher goals in the sand.
reader?
Is your language at a high-level?
Kerri Walsh started playing in AVP in 2001. In her career she has finished domestic first place
Support #1 sixty five times and she has finished first Internationally thirty eight times. Overall she has places
first one hundred and three times earning her a total of $1,798,422.50.
Source http://www.kerriwalsh.com/profile/
Is your language at a high-level?
Misty May Treanor holds the record for the most wins for woman in AVP. She has won first place
Support #2 Internationally thirty eight times and domestic sixty eight times. Misty's earnings are $1,824,
157.50 from winning first place a total of one hundred and five times.
Source http://www.mistymay.com/may/about
Is your language at a high-level?
Misty May Treanor was the second woman to ever pass the 1 million dollar mark in her earnings
Support #3 ever in the AVP. Kerri Walsh surpassed the 1 million dollar mark as well becoming the fourth
woman in the AVP.
Source http://www.ask.com/bar?q=kerri+walsh+college+career&page=1&qsrc=0&ab=5&u=http%3A%2F
%2Fwww.avp.com%2FThe-Players%2FFemales%2FW%2FKerri-Walsh.aspx
Is your language at a high-level?
What is a good sentence to
Although making it in the AVP is a big accomplishment, making it in
transition into the next
Athens and Beijing is a lot more toilsome to do.
paragraph? Transition word help
Is your language at a high-level?
QUICK PARAGRAPH CHECKLIST
Is the information arranged from less important to most important?
Does every sentence help support your topic?
Does this information get you a step closer to proving your thesis?
Do you provide sentences of different lengths and complexities in this paragraph?

4. Topic 3 Olympics
What is a good sentence to
Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh made Olympic history when they were the
introduce this topic to your
first women's beach volleyball team ever to win back to back gold medals.
reader?
Is your language at a high-level?
Kerri Walsh won the MVP award in the Athens, Greece 2004 Olympics. Misty May and Kerri
Support #1
Walsh won their first Olympic gold medal in Athens, Greece.
Source http://www.ask.com/bar?q=misty+may+and+kerri+walsh+in+athens
+greece&page=1&qsrc=0&ab=5&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mistyandkerri.com%2Fathens.asp
Is your language at a high-level?
Misty May and Kerri Walsh played in the 2008 Beijing, China Summer Olympics as well. They
Support #2 made it all the way to the championship game where they won their second gold medal and their
one hundred and eighth game in a row.
Source http://www.nbcolympics.com/beachvolleyball/news/newsid=163540.html
Is your language at a high-level?
The 2008 women's beach volleyball championship was Misty May Treanor's one hundred and
Support #3
third career win, for Kerri Walsh it was her one hundredth.
Source http://www.nbcolympics.com/beachvolleyball/news/newsid=163540.html
Is your language at a high-level?
QUICK PARAGRAPH CHECKLIST
Is the information arranged from less important to most important?
Does every sentence help support your topic?
Does this information get you a step closer to proving your thesis?
Do you provide sentences of different lengths and complexities in this paragraph?

5. Introduction Paragraph
Need help?
Ask yourself
How can I get my reader's attention?
Imagine your reader knows nothing about your topic. What background information could I give my reader about my
topic?
Why should the reader care to know this information?
What is it you are trying to prove?
The rain pouring down as the last point was scored, Kerri Walsh slamming the ball into
Attention Getter
the wet heavy sand, they did it. Misty May and Kerri Walsh made Olympic history
Need help?
again.
What was your attention getter? A Question A Quick Story An Interesting Fact A Quote
A Shocking Statistic An Unusual Statement Other
Background Information
- Introduce your topic, but not
your thesis
Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh have been playing beach volleyball since
- Provide insider details that
they were children. They have always stood out in the team and on the court.
would help your reader better
understand your topic, but not
information you are discussing in
your support.
Is your language at a high-level?
Why should your reader care?
Making it to the Olympics is a dream that so many people do not get to achieve, it
takes the best of the best to compete. The fact that not only did Misty May Treanor
Complete this sentence..
and Kerri Walsh make it to the Olympics and win, but they made Olympic history
and won first place twice in a row is an amazing accomplishment for the United
It is important that you read
States to have.
this essay because...
Is your language at a high-level?
Thesis Statement
Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh are the greatest women's beach volleyball
(paste the one you already
team ever.
wrote on page 1)
QUICK PARAGRAPH CHECKLIST
Did you avoid referring to yourself or your reader directly?
Would you want to read your paper after reading your introduction?

6. Conclusion Paragraph
Need help?
A conclusion should...
Include a brief summary of the paper's main points. Evoke a vivid image
Suggest results or consequences Wrap it all up for your reader
Leave a lasting impression
Restate your thesis in Women's beach volleyball has never seen a team greater than the dynamic duo of Misty
a fresh, new way May and Kerri Walsh.
Is your language at a high-level?
Summarize /
Even in college on an indoor court Misty May and Kerri Walsh were achieving great
Reflect / Give Final
things. It is amazing that State Championships were just the beginning for the pair.
thoughts on Topic 1
Is your language at a high-level? Did you summarize AND provide a final thought?
Summarize / Getting a chance to do what you love, dominate, and get paid for it all is a dream come
Reflect / Give Final true for a lot of players. Misty May and Kerri Walsh annihilated competition no matter
thoughts on Topic 2 what was thrown at them.
Is your language at a high-level? Did you summarize AND provide a final thought?
Summarize / Playing in the Beijing Olympics is one of the greatest accomplishments you can achieve in
Reflect / Give Final beach volleyball. After watching Misty and Kerri it is no wonder why they have received
thoughts on Topic 3 so many awards for their spectacular playing abilities.
Is your language at a high-level? Did you summarize AND provide a final thought?
Final Thought
-Contains vivid language
No one has ever come close to doing the things that they have accomplished.
-Compound or Complex sentence
Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh are truely the best women's beach
-Leave a lasting impression
volleyball team of all time.
-Sums up your essay in one
incredible sentence
Is your language at a high-level?
QUICK PARAGRAPH CHECKLIST
Did you avoid referring to yourself or your reader directly?
Did you feel your conclusion leaves the reader satisfied and impressed?

7. BIBLIOGRAPHY
Copy and Paste your citations you created using Easybib.
-MLA Format
"Misty May Biography." Misaka Sports. Web. 17 Sept. 2009. <"Misty May Biography." Misaka
Sports. Web. 17 Sept. 2009.>.
Citations
in
Alphabetical
Order "Kerri Walsh." Stanford University. Web. 17 Sept. 2009. <http://www.ask.com/bar?q=kerri+walsh
+stanford+university+college+career&page=1&qsrc=167&ab=1&u=http%3A%2F%
2Fwww.gostanford.com%2Fsports%2Fw-volley%2Fmtt%2Fwalsh_kerri00.html>.
Paragraph Organization- Read to see where your sentences go in your essay.
Paragraph 1- Introduction Paragraph 3 - Body Paragraph 2 Paragraph 5 - Conclusion
- Attention Getter - Topic Introduction - Thesis Restatement
- Background Information - Support 1 - Summarize/Reflect/Final - Topic 1
- Why should we care sentence - Support 2 - Summarize/Reflect/Final - Topic 2
- Thesis Statement - Support 3 - Summarize/Reflect/Final - Topic 3
- Transition - Strong Final Thought
Paragraph 2 - Body Paragraph 1
Paragraph 4 - Body Paragraph 3 Final page - Bibliography
- Topic Introduction - On a new page
- Support 1 - Topic Introduction - Titled - Bibliography
- Support 2 - Support 1 - Use citations created from Easybib
- Support 3 - Support 2 - MLA Format
- Transition - Support 3 - Alphabetized
Before you submit checklist
Is your paper in Time New Roman font? Do you proofread at least 3 times?
Do you use 12 pt font? Has someone other than you read this paper?
Do you use double space? Did I put everything in my own words to avoid plagiarism?
Do I spell everything correctly? Have I done my best?
Did I check all punctuation and capitalization?
Did I rid my essay of unnecessary qualifiers like "Really" "Just" "Sort of" "Like" and "So"
Do you get rid of BABY WORDS and use a thesaurus to enhance your language? mrdaley@mrdaley.com