Communication is an opportunity to focus not only on self, but the person with whom you are communicating. Attunement is being focused on the other person so that you are aware - present and responsive in a respectful way. Self-attunement might be defined as the focus on self as to strengths (successful behaviors) sustainable actions and areas for development (unsuccessful behaviors). Examples of areas that would be acceptable for assessment in a coaching process might be: leadership, communication, emotional intelligence, personality (MBTI or DiSC), motivation, and resolving conflicts.

1. Rex Gatto Ph.D., BCC
Executive Coach and President
Gatto Associates LLC.
Using Assessments for Coaching
Coaching is a collaborative communication process between the
coach and client. The coach’s communication needs to guide the
client toward self-reflection of thoughts and actions. What does it
mean to focus on self? It means taking a realistic view of self
through the eyes of others via a 360-feedback process, self-
assessment skilled-based assessment and or observations by the
coach, boss or others. Communication is an opportunity to also
focus not only on self but the person with whom you are
communicating. Attunement is being focused on the other person
so that you are aware - present and responsive in a respectful
way. Self-attunement might be defined as the focus on self as to
strengths (successful behaviors) sustainable actions and areas
for development (unsuccessful behaviors). Examples of areas
that would be acceptable for assessment in a coaching process
might be: leadership, communication, emotional intelligence,
personality (MBTI or DiSC), motivation, and resolving conflicts.
Assessments that are not appropriate for coaching would be any
assessment that would assess mental health pathology
(depression or eating disorder). An example of an inappropriate
assessment for coaching would be the utilization of MMPI2 to see
if the client has any mental health issues or Beck’s Depression
Inventory. Coaches are not hired to do therapy and may not even
be qualified, nor is it ethically appropriate to work in that area. “A
coach does not diagnose illness or root causes of detrimental
behavior. Rather a coach identifies through active listening,
empathetic questions and coordinated effort for assessment
potential path options that the client can take to find achievement”.
Jessi LaCosta

2. An example of an appropriate assessment for coaching is the
Communication assessment (listening, showing empathy,
questioning, discussion, approachability). Communication is a
very appropriate area to work on with clients. Attunement through
communication, that is focusing thoughts and behaviors regarding
communication for sustainability (strengths) and areas for
enhancement (unsuccessful actions), is certainly suitable for
workplace and life coaching. Attunement via communication is
the focus on the now of what’s occurring in a relationship. The
coach should know the communication style of the client to
ensure that the coach is communicating in the client’s style and
adapting the style to the needs and wants of the client. In
addition, the client can gain insight into how he/she
communicates with others.
The following are two Communication Assessments:
The Communication Styles: A Self Assessment Exercise (Tony
Alessandra, Ph.D., & Michael J. O’Connor Ph.D.) is a self-
reporting assessment. Its primary focus is to identify
characteristics based on four possible styles of communication:
Action (A), Process (PR), People (PE) and Idea (I). The results
are broken into two key areas: Content and Process. The purpose
of the communication self-reporting assessment is to give insight
to the client and coach on characteristics that support the
thoughts (content) and process (how) of communication style and
or patterns. I completed the assessment and found it to be
reflective of my characteristics Idea Style #4. To validate, I asked
a colleague with whom I work to listen to the characteristics and
see if it represents my style. Without any reservation he
responded with an “absolutely - it is accurate.” Comparing this
with another communication assessment I have taken My
Preferred Communication Inventory (Rex Gatto, Ph.D.), there is a
strong validating correlation between the two assessments.

3. My Preferred Communication Style identifies four styles: Blunt,
Influencing, Sincere and Detailed. The non-statistical correlations
between the two assessments are as follows: Action and Blunt,
Process and Detailed, People and Sincere and Idea and
Influencing. These assessments are very good tools for a coach
to work on with a client for self-attunement. This attunement can
be used in several of ways, client to coach, coach to client, and
client to others. This self-attunement by the client is a robust way
to create an understanding of cognitive acceptance.
Coaching Through Acceptance
“An initial mindful awareness that moves into consideration of
expectations, hopes, challenges and intention and ability to
control or deal.” Jessi LaCosta
Coaching through acceptance creates a deeper appreciation for
both coach and client’s relationship being in the same space,
which creates deeper connections and feelings, and ultimately
increases comprehension and change in behavior. By enhancing
communication between the coach and client, each can begin to
find and develop being in the same space. The coach can support
the communication connecters and disconnections. By taking a
communication styles assessment, the coach and client could
actually identify the communication descriptors that cause same
space think and the areas that may be construed as hurting the
coaching relationship because the coach and client are not in the
same space by content or process. For example, a Blunt client
may not be connecting with a Sincere coach who interprets the
client’s Bluntness as rude and uncaring. If the coach through the
communication assessment understands this behavior the
coaching relationship may grow. By the same thinking, the Blunt
client may interpret the Sincere coach as too accommodating or
touchy feely. Once the client, through the assessment
understands his/her communication characteristics and traits,

4. he/she may better relate to the coach and others with whom the
client works.
This ties very nicely with the concepts of “Take In and Take Hold.”
The concept of Taking In is the identification of issues,
challenges, roadblocks, developmental areas, problems, and an
awareness of what is occurring. To be effective, there must be an
acceptance of trust in expressing the concepts and acceptance of
what the issues and challenges are. From the acceptance of
issue and problems comes the understanding of change for
success.
Taking In establishes the concept of self in the moment, desired
future and thoughtfully accepting. The thoughts of acceptance of
Taking In are validated through the concept of Taking Hold.
While in the moment, supporting designs for the future and
considering what the future may bring are points of Acceptance:
mindful awareness that moves into consideration of expectations,
hopes, and challenges in achieving a desired future.
Being in the Moment on a Deeper Level Through
Communication
It is important for the coach to also complete the assessment to
better understand his her expectations with regard to expectation
the coach may have concerning the client. Taking In self in the
moment, understanding and accepting the style of communication
by the client to coach and coach to client, and connecting with
each other on a deeper level can only enhance the coaching
experience.
Acceptance is a unique approach to coaching since it creates a
process that encourages a deeper and more profound
relationship during the coaching process, interactions, and the
ultimate on-going relationship. The communication assessments
will support and define a deeper and more profound relationship
between the coach and client. There are various aspects or

5. intensities of acceptance: acceptance of the working relationship
between the coach and client based on the understanding of
thoughts and behaviors through communication.
Reframe and Release
The understanding of communication will aid the client and coach
in reframing self-perceptions about each other and others
(understanding communication styles can shape the message).
Responding to situations more effectively through the adapting of
communication styles may help to build relationships through the
communication connection. Expectations about coaching can be
altered by the alignment of communication between the coach
and client, release goals about the coaching relationship, and
possibly create a better understanding of the entire coaching
process.
Summary
Coaching is a process based on a collaborative communication
process that can make or break a coaching relationship. It is
extremely important that the chemistry between coach and client
be supported in a clear and healthy way. That chemistry is
predicated on the collaborative communication between the
coach and client. Communication style supports the coaching
process through the expression of thoughts and behaviors (words
and action) to build a professional and coaching alliance.