1. WEEK 2 CLASS 9
EWRT 1A

2. AGENDA
• Using sensory details:
SMG 643-648
• Creating a vivid presentation of a place.
• Describing a person central to your event.
• Writing Dialogue.
• Framing: beginnings and endings

3. The Goal: Create A Vivid Presentation of Places
• Recreate the time and place of the event
• Ground readers in specifics:
• When? Christmas morning; one day in late fall; Saturday night
• Where? At a 7-11 in San Jose; at my Aunt Helen’s Easter party; In the back alley of a club
in Sunnyvale
• Name specific objects
• White, spherical snowball
• Dirty sidewalk
• Thick, rich chocolate shake
• Midnight blue BMW 328 with glittering chrome rims

4. The Strategy: Listing Key Places
• Make a list of all the places where the event occurred,
skipping some space after each entry on your list.
• In the space after each entry on your list, make some
notes describing each place. What do you see (except
people for now)? What objects stand out? Are thy large or
small, green or brown, square or oblong? What sounds do
you hear? Do you detect any smells? Do any tastes come
to mind? Any textures?

5. The Goal: Make A Vivid Presentation of People
•Descriptive details of behaviors or actions
• She stuck her hand in the bag and picked up the poor, little
dead squirrel.
• He drew his hands through his long, greasy hair
•A bit of dialogue
• “Poor dear,” she murmured
• “Get out of my house,” he screamed
•Detail the person’s appearance
• A thin woman: all action
• He wore dress clothes: a black suit and tie

6. The Strategy: Recalling Key People
• List the people who played more than a causal role in the
event
• Describe a key person: Write a brief description of a
person other than yourself who played a major role in the
event. Name and detail a few distinctive physical features
or items of dress. Describe in a few phrases this person’s
way of moving and gesturing

7. The Strategy Continued: Use dialogue to convey
immediacy and drama
• Reconstruct one important conversation
• Try to remember any especially memorable
comments, any unusual choice of words, or any
telling remarks that you made or were made to
you.
• Try to partially re-create the conversation so
that readers will be able to imagine what was
going on and how your language and the other
person’s language reveal who you were and
your relationship.

8. The Goal: Writing a Good Conclusion
The Strategy:
• Framing: The neatest conclusion is to connect your event
back to your quotation in the last paragraph. This will tie
your essay into a neat package.
Other Strategies:
• Conclude with reflections on the meaning of the experience (avoid
tagging on a moral)
• To underscore the event’s continuing significance, you can show that
the conflict was never fully resolved
• Contrast your remembered and current feelings and thoughts.

9. Conclusion
I heard some people around me breathe sighs of relief. The
captivating story about factories in China was no longer real to them. The
mood was noticeably lighter as Mr. Mustard finished the last few minutes of
class talking about how presentation is important when talking. However, I
didn’t feel the same as some of my classmates. Their feelings vanished as
soon as they heard that the story wasn’t entirely true, but I felt that just
because the parts were taken from different sources didn’t mean the
situation was different for those workers. I still felt that I was to blame for
their suffering.
Just as Katniss felt disgust for the Capitol, I felt disgust for myself. In
The Hunger Games, the districts suffer as the Capitol citizens enjoy their
extravagant lives. In real life, people in other countries suffer as a result of
people like me who like fancy electronics. Once again, I thought about
how lucky I was to have a comfortable life. Hours and hours of SAT
classes or tutoring were nothing compared to what other people my age
endured. I pictured myself talking to factory workers just as Cinna talked to
Katniss: “How despicable we must seem to you.”

10. Notes
• Use present tense when describing the events in a
novel or film or story: “Katniss volunteers” or
“Haymitch is drinking heavily.”
• Your thesis for this paper will be the transition
sentence: “Katniss’s mother’s complete breakdown
reminds me of what happened to my aunt.” Or
“Katniss distrusts Peeta even though most of his
actions should make her trust him – I can relate.”
• Use chronological order to tell your story.
• Use past tense to describe the event(s) in your life: “I
was camping with my family up in Yosemite.”

11. HOMEWORK
• Read: HG through chapter 7.
• Post #10: finish and post your in-class writing:
• Listing and describing place; listing and describing people;
recreating dialogue; conclusions. Review slides 3-8 to remind
yourself.
• Study: Vocabulary (Chapters 5-7)
• Bring: HG and SMG; draft of your writing