Presentation by Pat Dotter, ACAS with the Minnesota PTAC. Sponsored by US SBA North Dakota and ND PTAC.

1. Phrases to Delete from Your Proposals
A large majority of federal business requires proposals, and federal proposal evaluators are
sophisticated professionals who have read every self-serving statement known to man.
The themes we hear from federal proposal evaluators are: "keep it short and sweet," "just
the facts please," "prove what you say," "don't put us on," and "make it easy on us."
Wouldn't that be the way you would want it if you had to read 10 large proposals in one
night?
Simplify your proposals by deleting these "You have to be kidding" phrases.
Phrase Why Delete
We are pleased...
They already know this; of course you are
pleased.
We understand (or believe)...
That's nice; save the words and just state
what you understand or believe.
Our highest priority is your satisfaction. Come on.
We are committed... As opposed to what?
We focus on quality. You had better.
We value... That's nice; just what is it that you value?
We are uniquely qualified.
Amazingly, all ten of the proposals we
received said that.
We are the premiere providers...
We just terminated a contract with another
premiere provider.
We are world class. Prove it.
We offer a comprehensive, total, integrated
solution with features just for you.
Please, just prove it; convince us.
We put the customer first. Doesn't everyone?
We are the right choice (or we are the best). Leave that to us.
ABC should select us because...
Please, just prove it with facts and leave
the decision to us.
Keep your proposal professional, convincing, and free from self-serving rhetoric.