1. Thanks for showing up for
yourself today!
Try to spend 1 day reading/thinking about each
concept. Download the 10-day tracker I
included to keep you on track. Or, if you
prefer, read them all at once. There is no wrong
way to do this.
You have all the time in the world to use this.
Be kind with yourself.
Let's get started!
With Love,
Karen
2. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 1. Practice Self compassion
You know how you try to be kind to your patients,
parents, friends or kids when they are going through
something tough?
How do you speak to yourself in your mind
during the day? Is it the same way you would
speak to a friend or someone you love?
Notice how critical you can be of yourself. Maybe not
when you're killing it, but definitely on the not-so-great
days.
The evidence shows you will feel better if you practice
self compassion. And remember, it's called a practice for
a reason. It is a skill like anything else. It takes time!
Kristin Neff is a self-compassion expert. If you haven't
heard her speak yet, you wont want to miss her TED talk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4
Could you practice being kinder to yourself? Say
encouraging things or stop saying the discouraging ones?
3. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 2. Know your Value
Ready to blow your mind forever? LFG.
Somehow we all missed the memo on this, but your value
as a human was 100% from the day you were born. You
were worthy from day 1. Nothing you do or don't do
could make you any more or less worthy. You just are.
Imagine deeming one of your children or your parents
more worthy than the other. Or one of your patients. Is
one of your dogs worthy but the other one, well, that one
will never amount to anything?
Your work value and your human value are separate.
Your job matters, of course. If you want to heal everyone,
produce all the research, win awards, run the
department, let's go! I'll help you.
But it doesn't make you any more worthy.
When we take the pressure off, and stop hustling to feel
worthy, life gets a whole lot better.
Can you work to remember that you are a worthy human
today, just as you are?
4. Thanks, I’ll have to pass on that.
I appreciate it, but my time is already committed.
I wish I could, but it’s just not going to work right
now.
10 Days to feeling better
Day 3. Say no
Our socialization as women, and our medical training has
rewarded us for having other people like us and tell us
we are doing a good job sometimes at our own expense.
When you say “yes” to one more thing, what are
you saying “no” to?
Usually it is your family, your health, your personal time,
or a project that you are passionate about.
Some suggestions for how to say no:
I teach my clients how to manage the initial discomfort
of saying no. On the far end, they are so empowered and
feel more in control.
Can you say 'no' to one thing today? It can be small.
What is the one thing you have been putting off turning
down? .
5. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 4. Focus on the Gain and not the Gap
We are trained to consider the worst case scenario. The
anemia that is cancer. The calf strain that's a dvt. The
unsliced grape in the hands of.toddler that might as well
be a gun. We can't escape what we know.
Sometimes this gets in our way, when we see the gap not
the gain.
The gap is what stands between us and the ideaI. The
gain is how far we are from where we started.
Being annoyed my husband folds laundry wrong (gap),
instead of glad he did laundry (gain).Feeling badly that I
am not full professor (gap) rather than noting how far I
HAVE come since I decided to become a doctor (gain).
Dwelling in the gap keep us from appreciating all we do
have and holds us back. I am not saying just be happy
with what you have and stop there. But you will get closer
to what you really want if you stay out of the gap and
celebrate more of what already is.
Can you try to notice today when you are in the gap?
6. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 5. Breathe
I see that internal eyeroll!
Just hear me out☺️
Breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous
system. Even one deep breath when you are about to
lose it with a difficult patient or relative can be key.
When emotions are high, intelligence is low.
Spending a minute to breathe brings us back into our
bodies, lowers our cortisol, and decreases our stress
response.
Taking even just 1 minute to breathe lessens the
likelihood you will do or say something you regret and
then beat yourself up afterwards.
Square breathing is easy and takes just a few seconds
minute. Here's how to do it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgzhKW08bMQ
See if you can find one or two minutes to do some
breathing today.
7. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 6. Plan what you love FIRST
Most of us schedule work first and then try to cram in
everything else. Exercise, doctors appointments, hobbies
and fun fall by the wayside.
If we don’t carve out time for the things we love, that
time will be gone.
Watch this short demo. It will stay with you forever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5ZvL4as2y0
There is always more work that needs doing. There are
always a few more items in the inbox. Before we know it,
the day is gone and we don't even know where it went.
Put the things you want to do on your calendar first.
Actually schedule the date night. Sign up for rock
climbing. Decide to go to the gym. And then honor
yourself and your commitment. Get your buns out the
door because...the longer you stay, the longer you stay!
Can you put something you are missing on your calendar
today?
8. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 7. Read for 2 mins a day
Audio books or podcasts help your mindset. Even if you
listen a few minutes on your commute, while on call, at the
grocery store, in the shower (haven't been electrocuted yet!
☺️
) . Reading before bed, instead of falling down a rabbit hole
of social media, helps you sleep better too.
Books are much better for your brain than
Facebook.
Some favorites from this year:
Podcasts: The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos. The Life
Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo. Weight loss for
busy physicians with Katrina Ubell, Unfuck your brain with
Kara Lowentheil. Wealthymommd with Bonnie Koo. Simply
Worth it with Linda Street.
Books: Into the Magic Shop by James Doty, Rising Strong by
Brene Brown, Letter to a Young Female Physician by Suzanne
Koven, The Infinite Gain by Simon Sinek, The Miracle
Morning by Hal Elrod. The Gap and The Gain by Sullivan and
Hardy.
Can you commit to increasing what you read/listen to this
year?
9. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 8. Remember the fun
Fun! Remember fun? Remember in medical school where
they taught us how important fun is for our brains and
our health ? Me neither.
Having fun keeps you in the present moment where it's
almost impossible to worry about the future or regret the
past. Building your fun skills actually builds mindfulness,
so you are less reactive. It will help maintain equanimity
during your work day. And...it's fun.
"We don't stop playing because we grow old. We grow
old because we stop playing"- George Bernard Shaw
So... how do we have fun now? That is a great question
to ask your brain. Don't write it off as something that
needs to take up lots of time. It might look like trying a
new recipe, dusting off your guitar, getting a sketch book,
or adding 2 minutes of dance music in the morning.
Take it from my BFF's Brene Brown and Oprah.
https://www.oprah.com/omagazine/best-resolution-
have-a-happy-year
Can you remember what you used to do for fun?
10. I fucking graduated medical school ;I can do this.
I'll throw out one thing entering/leaving each room.
I can always buy it again if it turns out I need it.
This is bringing calm to my brain
Decluttering is quick and not a big deal.
10 Days to feeling better
Day 9. Throw Stuff Away*
* donate, recycle, repurpose etc.
The less stuff you have, the less full your brain feels.
Forget about sparking joy, better organizer systems or
pretty containers.
"Just throw it the F away"-Karen Leitner 😉
The reason your room/house is in its current state is
because you don't believe you have the ability to change
it, maybe due to money/time/having a perfect system.
Its a way your brain lives in scarcity thinking.
What you actually need is belief that it's possible.
Here are some thoughts to help you get started:
This book is great: Minimalista by Shira Gill
How many things can you throw away today?Things in
your car count!!
11. 10 Days to feeling better
Day 10. Find your people
Between violence, environmental crises, and the isolation
and damage of COVID-19, the last several years have
been a barrage of trauma for humankind.
It turns out there is an antidote to trauma.
Connection is the Trauma antidote
-Dr. Kemia Sarraf trauma expert
You heal when you connect. Spending the effort to
connect to your patients and coworkers and families by
giving and receiving kindness will help you heal.
100% of the surveyed participants who completed Feel
Better, my 8-week virtual group coaching program for
women doctors reported they felt better.
Coming together with other women physicians and
talking about our common challenges while learning tools
and skills to be in control of our lives and happiness
helps us heal and feel better. Every time.
Our next cohort starts February 2, 2022. Make sure to
check out www.karenleitnermd.com to sign up for the
waitlist or to reserve your spot. ❤️
12. 10 Days to feeling better
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I'd love hear all about your transformation ❤️Follow
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