The Three Pillars in Marriage

The Three Pillars in
Marriage
The letter ‘C’ is pronounced as SEE. I look at the
‘SEE’ in marriage as an acronym ‘S.E.E’. In
marriage you either: S-uffer or E-ndure or E-njoy
We have to enter into marriage as a Covenant
and take marriage as Companionship and lastly
as a Commitment.
Kigume KaruriTuesday, December 5, 2017 1

• We must be careful in marriage. Without
handling marriage well, we hurt each other
and the emotional hurt can last a life time.
Marriage is the most fertile ground for
conflicts.
• We must adhere to the covenant and take
our rightful roles as companions and be
committed to the marriage.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017 Kigume Karuri 2

Marriage as a Covenant
Pro. 2:16-17
• 16 To deliver you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her
words,
17 Who forsakes the companion of her youth,
And forgets the covenant of her God.
• Marriage is a covenant that needs to be kept
before God.

• Our marriage vows are a covenant; it is a
solemn oath made by a husband and wife to
each other and to God.
• Our God is a covenant maker and keeper.
God chose the covenant as His way of
relating to people. The covenant is the most
sacred of all pledges and promises.

• The first marriage covenant was achieved
when God united Adam and Eve in the first
wedding.
• Later Jesus expressed the importance of the
marriage covenant when He said,

• “Have you not read, that He who created them
from the beginning made them male and
female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall
leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to
his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’”
Then Jesus added, “Consequently they are no
more two but one flesh. What therefore God
has joined together, let no man separate”
(Matthew 19:4–6).

• Many modern couples consider their vows more
of a contract than a covenant. A contract has an
end date. A covenant is permanent.
• A contract usually specifies a part of a person’s
property or services. A covenant involves a
person’s total being, which in marriage means a
commitment that extends beyond performance,
health issues, and financial prosperity to a
promise of lifelong fidelity.

• Many spouses made such a covenant when
they married. They pledged to love each
other “in sickness and in health” … “in
poverty and in wealth” … “till death do us
part … so help me God.” They may not have
really understood the importance of what
they were saying.

• By making the marriage covenant a part of a
wedding ceremony, we highlight the fact that
God has brought this couple together, and they
consider these vows to be permanent.
• Renewed devotion to the marriage covenant
could become a significant factor in helping
countless couples stick to their vows and
achieve the satisfaction and joy of a lasting
marriage.

Marriage as Companionship
• Malachi 2:14-15New King James Version
(NKJV)
• 14 Yet you say, “For what reason?”
Because the LORD has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.

• 15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit,
And let none deal treacherously with the
wife of his youth.

• Good companions enjoy spending time
together. Spouses should be able to look
forward to the next time they will be
together, rather than dreading it. Time spent
enjoyably together builds and strengthens
the marital relationship. Conversely, the lack
of companionship in a marriage can produce
deep loneliness in both spouses.

• One important benefit of marriage and
family life that is worth emphasizing and
discussing is the provision of companionship
in our romantic and other relationships. We
may also call it fellowship, which in essence,
is the fruit of true companionship.

• Companionship quickly brings to mind the
idea of company, assistance, group activity,
friendship, intimacy, conversation, sharing ,
interaction, and brotherly love.
• Continual interaction is therefore necessary
to make companionship meaningful for all
forms of relationships.

• A MAN WHO WILL NOT OR CANNOT PLAN AND GIVE
QUALITY TIME AND GOOD COMPANIONSHIP TO HIS
WIFE, CANNOT FULLY SATISFY HER WITH ANY MONEY
OR MATERIAL THINGS, OR MAKE HER HAPPY THROUGH
OTHER MEANS.

• Both men and women need companionship
for their common as well as their different
needs. However, it is the woman who rather
comes into the life of a man to become his
companion.

• It is the man who searches for a companion,
and makes the move to propose and ask a
woman to become his special companion
because he cannot do it all by himself and
accomplish his destiny. THE MAN IS THEREFORE
THE LEADER OF COMPANIONSHIP IN THE
MARRIAGE, HOME, AND FAMILY.

• Companionship in Your Marriage
• A. Deepens your happiness. Your blessings
multiply when you share them with a spouse
you care about.
• B. Strengthens your marriage. Your marriage
may be the most important and enduring
relationship in your life. Keep it alive and
growing.

• C. Enjoy your golden years. Companionship
may take on even greater value later in life.
• D. Be a good friend to your spouse. Work at
your relationship instead of taking it for
granted. You’ll be rewarded with more love
and a closer connection.

Marriage as Commitment
• Proverbs 5:15-20King James Version (KJV)
• 15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and
running waters out of thine own well.
• 16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and
rivers of waters in the streets.
• 17 Let them be only thine own, and not
strangers' with thee.

• 18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with
the wife of thy youth.
• 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant
roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and
be thou ravished always with her love.
• 20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with
a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a
stranger?

• COMMITMENT is about unity, faithfulness,
monogamy, friendship, affection, love,
respect and many other beautiful attributes
that are absolutely priceless.
• The idea of commitment is often associated
with relationships. There seems to be a loss
of commitment among couples because they
are more apt to seek divorce as a solution for
marital conflict.

• COMMIT YOURSELF TO:
• 1. Love your spouse because you need each
other, and commit yourself to build your
spouse up, not tear him/her down in your
relationship.
• 2. Open up to your spouse without fear of
being attacked, and you will not attack your
spouse, even though you may not agree.
Also, casting up the past will not become a
part of your discussion. That is past and gone.

• 3. Allow your spouse to explain to you your
perception of things, and then you
allow him/her to do the same to you. Then
together you shall seek resolution to the
issue, without attacking each other, and with
a willingness to compromise.

• 4. Pray for and with your spouse to give all of
you wisdom for resolution of your situation, in
a way that the conclusion to which you come
is that with which both can live.
• 5. Being open with your spouse in : Trusting,
Trustworthy, Truthful, Honest, Encouraging,
Helpful, Wholeheartedly accepting of him/her,
and to continually affirm your love for
him/her, and need of him/her

• In marriage, there is need for binding commitment to each
other, to love eachother and to remain together until one
dies.

• Commitment matters.
• It means something.
• It means that you made a decision to work
through marriage and that you are not going
anywhere.
• It means that you can be counted on.
• It means that you will do whatever it takes to
maintain a strong relationship and a happy
marriage.

• Marriage is an investment of love, affection,
respect and trust.
• It is an experience that creates profound joy,
security and belonging that will last a lifetime
for those who honor their commitment to
each other no matter what.
•

S.E.E.
• Don’t SUFFER in your marriage
• Don’t ENDURE your marriage
• But ENJOY your marriage through the three pillars called
3’C’s: COVENANT, COMPANIONSHIP and COMMITMENT.

The Three Pillars in Marriage

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