There is power in forgiveness in marriage

THERE IS POWERIN
FORGIVENESS IN
MARRIAGE
To sustain a marriage, then
you must learn to forgive your
spouse.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
1

 We are living in very difficult times
and the marriage institution is under
great threat. Husbands and wives
have continued mistrusting each
other. There is so much societal
pressure on the institution of
marriage. To sustain marriage , I
know, there is the Powerof
Forgiveness. Thursday, May 22, 2014
2

 This weekI was handling a serious
issue with a couple that is about to
call of theirmarriage. My message to
this couple is that, the answer is not
parting ways, but in forgiving each
other.
3

What It Means to Forgive
 Forgiveness is incredibly powerful. A
daily dose of forgiveness can save a
lot of marriages. But what, exactly,
does it mean to forgive? What are
the “active ingredients”? How do we
learn to forgive?
4

 In forgiving one another, we draw on
the forgiveness that Jesus has given
us by making a decision to release
anotherfrom the penalty of sin.
 Forgiveness is releasing the other
fromthe penalty of sin so the
relationship can be restored.
5

A decision to release.
 You must make a decision to release
and not hold back.
 Forgiveness means letting go of your
right to punish anotherand choosing
through the powerof God’s love to
hold onto the otherperson rather
than his orheroffense.
6

 In the process of forgiving, the first
barrieryou have to remove is within
yourself. You have to decide to see
yourspouse instead of the offense.
Often the decision to let go has to be
renewed daily, hourly, oreven more
often.
7

A decision to sacrifice
 You cannot forgive till you know you
are sacrificing.
 God’s forgiveness required the
sacrifice of His Son to pay the penalty
forsin. Ourforgiveness requires
sacrifices, too, though of a different
sort.
 Animportant waythat yousacrifice
yourclaimto justiceis byrefusingtoThursday, May 22, 2014
8

A decision to trust that God is
up to good.
 Place all yourdecisions in God.
 As Jesus sacrificed He had to entrust
Himself to God. He had to trust that
God would really deal with the sin
that He, Jesus, was paying for. He
trusted that forgiveness would make
a difference and that His sacrifice
was not in vain. He trusted that God
would renew and restore His people.Thursday, May 22, 2014
9

 Yourforgiveness doesn’t guarantee a
change in yourspouse, but it does
guarantee that you’ll grow and that
you’ll be protected from bitterness.
Trust that forgiveness is the path
that God provides to draw backthe
curtains that separate you and your
spouse. Trust that forgiveness will
renew yourmarriage. Thursday, May 22, 2014
10

A decision to grow
 You cannot remain in the same place
when you forgive. You actually grow
yourmarriage.
 No matterhow sincere the
confession and commitment to
change, yourspouse may again sin
against you.
11

 Rememberthat change is a process.
The forgiveness that God gives us
based on Jesus’ one-time death on
the cross is bestowed on us day by
day forthe rest of ourlives. A
purpose of that forgiveness,
restoring us to His perfect image, is
a process that takes a lifetime.
12

Identifying OurReal Enemies
 Too often in marriage when there is
offense and conflict, we identify our
mates as the enemy. Ourmates are
neverthe enemy. If we learn who our
enemies really are, we can effectively
fight the battles in ourmarriages and
rise to victory. Ourreal enemies are the
powers of darkness and ourown flesh.
These enemies often go unnoticed inThursday, May 22, 2014
13

 Ourflesh seeks to please itself and
cannot please God. The apostle Paul
warns us about ourflesh, in Romans
8:8, "Those who are still underthe
control of theirsinful nature can
neverplease God."
14

 The powers of darkness intend forall
marriages to be destroyed. If you
commit to God and yourmate, you will
wrestle with the forces of
darkness. Ephesians 6:12 declares,
"Forwe are not fighting against flesh-
and-blood enemies, but against evil
rulers and authorities of the unseen
world, against mighty powers in this
darkworld, and against evil spirits in
15

Forgiveness Is Not
 Forgiveness can be quite painful when
it involves someone you are madly in
love with. In marriage, forgiveness is
not "Don't worry about what you did,
I'mfine with it and we all make
mistakes." We are plagued by an abyss
of pain, anger, bitterness, and
resentment. Forgiveness is not lip
service. Thursday, May 22, 2014
16

 These unchecked feelings can
potentially become emotionally,
mentally, verbally, orphysically
murderous. Forgiveness is not being so
numb to pain that we are oblivious to
reality. In marriage, when we embrace
numbness ourhearts transforminto ice.
Forgiveness is not forgetting the
offense. Forgiveness is not choosing toThursday, May 22, 2014
17

Struggling to Forgive
 How do you forgive someone who
was neversupposed to hurt you in
the first place? Why forgive them?
What about all the damage to your
marriage and family? The best
answeris you must; forgiveness was
extended to you.
18

 Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, "If
you forgive those who sin against
you, yourheavenly Fatherwill
forgive you. But if you refuse to
forgive others, yourFatherwill not
forgive yoursins."If you refuse to
forgive, you operate in sin and in
covenant with Satan.
19

 These questions and declarations are
hard to swallow. I have battled with
them in my marriage, but I came out
victorious.
20

 We struggle to forgive because we
justify ourrights and inappropriately
apply God's Word. Many of us have
declared inwardly oroutwardly, "The
Bible said, 'Be ye angry.' "We forget
the rest of the Scripture verse: " …
and sin not: let not the sun go down
upon yourwrath" (Ephesians 4:26,
KJV). Thursday, May 22, 2014
21

 If we are honest, many of us are
angry and sin fordays, weeks,
months, years. Many of us will carry
the sin of unforgiveness to ourgrave.
22

 Forgiveness becomes a struggle
when we seekto please ourflesh. We
struggle because the Holy Spirit
demands that we be like Christ. God
is as displeased with unforgiveness
as he is with sexual sins, deception,
lying, and envy.
23

 We must rememberthat any sin
eitherof us could commit, Jesus paid
forat Calvary. Who gave us the right
to make ourspouses pay forsin
when we did not?
24

Real Forgiveness Is
 Real forgiveness is threefold.
 1. Forgiveness means excusing the
penalty foran offense, offering
pardon.
 2. Forgiveness means renouncing
angerand resentment.
 3.Finally, forgiveness is a choice.
God gave all of us the powerto
choose.
25

 These definitions are simplistic, but
they packenough powerto loosen
the stronghold of unforgiveness. As
an immature Christian, I thought I
had the right to be angry and my sin
was justified. It neverwas.
26

Loosening Satan's Grip
 The devil understands the power of
forgiveness. He had the opportunity
to behold the glory of God and the
kingdom of heaven. He has been
doomed to hell and is mad and
desires us to share his fate. Satan
knows that forgiveness redeems and
restores relationships.
27

 Satan is employed to steal, kill, and
destroy. Unforgiveness opens the
doorforhimto hold us back. As the
sun sets and we nurse anger,
bitterness, and resentment, the devil
smiles. We have embraced the power
of darkness.
28

 God's forgiveness propels us into
salvation and restoration. Your
marriage can be restored and bring
glory to God.

29

To sustain ourmarriages, we
are compelled to forgive.
There is powerin forgiveness.
30

There is power in forgiveness in marriage

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There is power in forgiveness in marriage