1. when it comes to the races, go big or go home.

2. i thought the roy wedding w a big deal.
al as

3. but those were the da before
ys
i ate shrimp off the barbie,
threw boomerangs
and casuall said, “good on y
y a.”

4. as a freshl minted aussimerican,
y
I’ve now experienced the melbourne cup.

5. it’s not just any
ol’ public holiday

6. it’s a horse holiday!

7. you’ve got to love a state that give’s you a da off for the races.
y
believe what you hear, those aussies are damn friendly.

8. if you think horse races are all about:
drinking
betting
drinking
betting
more drinking
more betting

9. well, you’re mostl right.
y

10. but you left out the most crucial element

11. the hats.

12. the melbourne cup is a horse race
that puts beatrice’s hat fame to shame.
(fame to shame. Like what i did there?)

13. most girls spend ages picking our their race da dress. and i’m not sure why.
y

14. all anyone is looking at
is that thing upside yo’ head.
(that is unless you decided to be a little too generous with the bobos.)

15. and there is plenty to look at
(we’re back on hats, not bobos)
big.
small.
wacky.
tacky.
cute.
fruit.
you name it.
beatrice, girl, we got you beat.
(wacky, tacky. Cute, Fruit. I’m on a roll people!)

16. before toda i w worried about my lack of racing knowledge
y as

17. but i quickl realized that all the people cheering in the crowd
y

18. probabl know just as much about the race as me
y

19. because everyone has the same view

20. so, melbourne cup vs. roy wedding?
al

21. i think we all now know the answer to that one.

22. #winning