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 2nd stage-autonomy versus 
shame and doubt 
 12-18 mos. – 3 years
 Self-control where a toddler 
seeks to do their own will 
 Wants to be more 
independent 
 Feeling of being able to do 
tasks without help 
 Do not do for them what 
they can do for themselves
 Everything is about them 
 How they look, what 
belongs to them, 
what they can or cannot do 
 Become aware of others’ 
feelings toward them 
 Aware they can affect 
others 
 Autonomy achieved leads 
to self-pride 
 No autonomy leads to 
shame and doubt
 Set realistic limits 
 Give choices 
 Keep toddler safe 
 Stay calm when child reacts with anger
 Can sense emotions in 
others 
 Great imagination 
 Fear of dark, strangers, etc. 
 Have trouble separating 
reality from fantasy 
 Affection 
 Express it by nearness
 Animals, darkness, 
nightmares, bad people 
 Act out fear through play 
 Don’t tease them about 
their fears 
 Don’t push them into scary 
situations 
 Boys-greater variety 
 Girls – greater reaction
 Over 2 yrs. old, less than 2 hours of TV a day 
 Give them skills to control situations 
 Turn on light when afraid of dark 
 Set a good example
 Nightmares begin around 2 
 Help them separate reality 
from fantasy
 Temper tantrums 
 Meant to attract attention 
 Not directed at anyone 
until age 3 
 Common triggers for 
tantrums 
 Being overly tired 
 Disruption in normal 
routine 
 Too much excitement or 
activity 
 Frustration: too many 
restrictions and too few 
choices 
 Lack of firm, realistic 
limits
 Respond immediately 
 Remain calm 
 Screaming is ineffective 
 Spanking makes more 
angry 
 Help child to deal with 
anger and frustration and to 
express it in an acceptable 
way.

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Social emotional needs of a toddler

  • 1.
  • 2.  2nd stage-autonomy versus shame and doubt  12-18 mos. – 3 years
  • 3.  Self-control where a toddler seeks to do their own will  Wants to be more independent  Feeling of being able to do tasks without help  Do not do for them what they can do for themselves
  • 4.  Everything is about them  How they look, what belongs to them, what they can or cannot do  Become aware of others’ feelings toward them  Aware they can affect others  Autonomy achieved leads to self-pride  No autonomy leads to shame and doubt
  • 5.  Set realistic limits  Give choices  Keep toddler safe  Stay calm when child reacts with anger
  • 6.  Can sense emotions in others  Great imagination  Fear of dark, strangers, etc.  Have trouble separating reality from fantasy  Affection  Express it by nearness
  • 7.  Animals, darkness, nightmares, bad people  Act out fear through play  Don’t tease them about their fears  Don’t push them into scary situations  Boys-greater variety  Girls – greater reaction
  • 8.  Over 2 yrs. old, less than 2 hours of TV a day  Give them skills to control situations  Turn on light when afraid of dark  Set a good example
  • 9.
  • 10.  Nightmares begin around 2  Help them separate reality from fantasy
  • 11.  Temper tantrums  Meant to attract attention  Not directed at anyone until age 3  Common triggers for tantrums  Being overly tired  Disruption in normal routine  Too much excitement or activity  Frustration: too many restrictions and too few choices  Lack of firm, realistic limits
  • 12.  Respond immediately  Remain calm  Screaming is ineffective  Spanking makes more angry  Help child to deal with anger and frustration and to express it in an acceptable way.