Breakout session at The East Asia Regional Council of Schools Leadership Conference 2013

1. Learning To Listen
Your Most Useful Skill As An Educator?
EARCOS, November 1, 2013
Kirsten Olson, Ed.D., PCC
Monday, October 28, 2013
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2. “The story is told of a South American tribe that went
on a long march, day after day, when all of a sudden they
would stop walking, sit down to rest for awhile, and
then make camp for a couple of days
before going any farther.
They explained that they needed the time of rest so
that their souls could catch up with them.”
-Wayne Muller, Sabbath
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3. Monday, October 28, 2013
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4. My Client, School Leader...
“I didn’t realize how much my job was about listening.
Listening to my staff, listening to teachers, listening to parents and
the community.
I wish I’d been better prepared for that.”
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5. The power of listening
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6. What’s your listening
“biography?”
Remember a time you felt deeply listened to.
Recall the details and what was happening.
How did you feel?
-Describe this to your partner.
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7. Qualities of deep
listening
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8. DEEPLY LISTENING
When someone deeply listens to you
it is like holding out a dented cup you have had since childhood
and watching it fill up with cold fresh water.
When it balances on the top of the rim you're understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin you are loved.
When someone deeply listens to you
The room where you stay starts a new life
And the place where you wrote your first poem
Begins to blow in your mind’s eye.
It’s as if gold has been discovered.
When someone deeply listens to you
your bare feet are on the earth
and the beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you.
-John Fox
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9. Open and honest
questions.
What are they?
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10. Monday, October 28, 2013
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11. What’s a common
problem at your
school?
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12. Get into a triad.
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13. 3 Deep Cleansing
Breaths
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14. Triad Protocol
A
Presents dilemma
B
Listens carefully, and then asks open and honest
questions
C
Listens quietly and takes notes as A and B talk.
Summarizes what A and B have said, and offers
observations as a conclusion.
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15. A = What Happened
B = Did I get you right?
C = Here's what I heard…
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16. • Practice deep listening
• Practice asking open and honest questions
• Practice concluding with observation, not
judgment
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17. Observer/Concluder
• Observe without judging
• “I notice that...”
• “When you said X, I heard tension in your
voice...”
• “This seems to be a very upsetting
situation.”
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18. Begin.
(3 minutes for each role)
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19. How was that for you?
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20. “Being listened to is so close to being loved
most of us cannot tell the difference.”
-David Oxberg
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21. Resources
• Body Scan: http://www.buddhanet.net/
audio-meditation.htm
• Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: http://
www.umassmed.edu/cfm/index.aspx
• Center for Courage and Renewal (listening
techniques) http://www.couragerenewal.org
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