1. ONE OF THOSE DAYS

2. Today I woke early as I always do .

3. As I was going down the stairs to the kitchen, I tripped and hit my head on the door frame.

4. My wife tried to soothe my pain and poured me a cup of coffee. It was so hot, it scalded my tongue.

5. I sat down at the breakfast table and put a couple of slices of bread in the toaster. When I went to take them out, I got an electric shock that made my arse quiver..........

6. At that moment the phone rang. It was the office to tell me we had been broken into during the night, and all the computers plus various important documents had been nicked.

7. I was so upset by the news that I spilled my coffee all over my lap. As a result I had to go back upstairs, wash and put on clean clothes. I decided that a cold shower would calm me down and help me regain my composure. That proved to be the final straw.......

8. AAAAAAAAi!