2. 1. REMIND YOURSELF OF REASONS
TO BE GRATEFUL.
When things look really dark, it’s hard to feel
grateful, but remembering what’s good in your life
can help put problems into perspective. I have a
friend who recently suffered a big disappointment
at work. She said to me, “As long as my family is
healthy, I can’t get too upset about anything.”
3. 2 . R E M E M B E R Y O U R B O D Y.
Take a twenty-minute walk outside to boost your
energy and dissolve stress. Don’t let yourself get
too hungry. Get enough sleep. Manage pain. It’s
very tempting to run yourself ragged trying to
deal with a crisis, but in the long run, you just
wear yourself out.
4. 3. DO SOMETHING FUN.
Temporarily distract yourself from the stress, and re-charge your battery, with an
enjoyable activity. Watching a funny movie is a reliable way to give yourself a
pleasant break, and listening to your favorite music is one of the quickest ways to
change your mood. When my older daughter was in the intensive-care unit as a
newborn, my husband dragged me off to a movie one afternoon — and that few
hours of distraction made me much better able to cope with the situation. Be
careful, however, not to “treat” yourself by doing something that’s eventually
going to make you feel worse (taking up smoking again, drinking too much,
indulging in retail therapy). My comfort-food activity is reading children’s literature.
5. 4 . TA K E A C T I O N .
If you’re in a bad situation, take steps to bring about change. If you’re having
trouble with your new boss, you could decide to try to transfer. Or you could
change your behavior. Or you could find ways to pay less attention to your
boss. Ask yourself, “What exactly is the problem?” It’s astounding to me that
often, when I take time to identify a problem exactly, a possible solution
presents itself.
6. 5. LOOK FOR MEANING.
Re-frame an event to see the positive along with the negative.
Maybe getting fired will give you the push you need to move
to the city where you’ve always wanted to live. Maybe your
illness has strengthened your relationships with your family.
You don’t need to be thankful that something bad has
happened, but you can try to find positive consequences even
in a catastrophic event. Here are some examples.
7. 6. CONNECT WITH FRIENDS AND
F A M I LY.
Strong relationships are a KEY to
happiness, so fight the impulse
to isolate yourself. Show up.
Make plans. Ask for help, offer
your help to others.
!
8. 7. MAKE SOMETHING BETTER.
If something in your life has gotten
worse, try to make something else
better – and it doesn’t have to be
something important. Clean a closet.
Organize your photographs. Work in
the yard.
9. 8. ACT TOWARD OTHER PEOPLE THE WAY
YOU WISH THEY’D ACT TOWARD YOU
If you wish your friends would help you find someone to date, see if
you can fix up a friend. If you wish people would help you find a job,
see if you can help someone else find a job. If you can’t think of a way
to help someone you know, do something generous in a more
impersonal way. For instance: commit to being an organ donor! When
you’re feeling very low, it can be hard to muster the energy to help
someone else, but you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Do
good, feel good; it really works.