1. 11 Tips for Proper Etiquette
When an Employee is Pregnant
A Workplace Guide:
Here’s some practical tips to use when an employee or coworker is pregnant.
Share with your colleagues and create a welcoming work environment for
the mom-to-be.
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2. Background
When it comes to workplace
chatter, everyone knows that
there are topics to avoid because
they are not workplace approved.
These typically include sex,
politics, and religion. Steering clear
of these topics with co-workers
will make the workplace much
friendlier.
I N T R O D U C T I O N
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
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3. However, when someone is pregnant,
it seems that workplace etiquette is
thrown out the window.
All topics are on the table and nothing
is taboo.
Although pregnant women expect
rude comments and questions from
their second cousin twice removed
and their great Aunt Ethel, they
shouldn't have to deal with this at
work.
I N T R O D U C T I O N
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
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4. A Good Rule of Thumb
Ask yourself, “Would I do or say
this to someone that was not
pregnant?”
If you aren't sure, here are 11
guidelines to help you know what
to say and do, as well as what not
to say and do, to someone who is
pregnant at the office.
I N T R O D U C T I O N
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
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5. 11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
Tip 1
What kind of personal questions? Things like:
o “Was the baby planned?”
o “Did you use fertility drugs?”
o “Do you plan to breastfeed?”
o “How did your husband handle the news?”
Can you imagine talking to a non-pregnant colleague
and asking them about their sex life, their fertility
issues, their breasts, or how their spouse reacted to
intimate news?
Of course not! Just because someone is pregnant
does not mean that their life should be an open book.
Instead of these questions, simply give a statement,
such as, “How wonderful” or “What a blessing.”
Keep Personal Questions to Yourself
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6. Statements that mention:
o The short period of time between the wedding
and due date.
o OR the long period of time between the wedding
and the due date.
o OR the lack of a wedding are inappropriate.
When a person chooses to have a baby, whether they
are married or not, or to whom they are married should
not be workplace topics to discuss.
Try to stay focused on the idea that pregnancy is a happy
event and should be celebrated.
Don't Suggest Anything About the Timing of the Baby
Tip 2
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
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7. 11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
Tip 3
Worse than bombarding your colleague with questions is
determining that you can touch their body whenever you
please. Yes, she is likely to be showing. Yes, people have
the urge to touch a rounded belly. No, it should not be
done.
Touching another person's body without permission is not
acceptable behavior and invades their personal space.
Once again, you would never think to touch someone's
body if they weren't pregnant, so offer the same courtesy
to a pregnant co-worker. Also, do not ask if you can touch
her stomach. The answer is no and should be no.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself
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8. Tip 4
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
A pregnant women is often conscious about their size
and shape.
They do not want to hear comments that pertain to
weight or their eating habits. Can you imagine having a
comment like, “Wow, are you having twins?” or “You
are so big that it's unnatural?” What about having
someone tell you that you don't need the second slice
of pizza or suggesting that you try vegetables instead
of dessert?
When it comes to how a pregnant co-worker looks, the
best thing to do is focus on the positive. If you can't
think of something positive to say, it’s best to not say
anything at all.
Never Mention Weight or Eating
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9. 11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
Tip 5
Even if the pregnancy seems obvious to you, do not
ask about the pregnancy unless the co-worker has
brought it up to you first.
She may be waiting to discuss the event with the
boss before announcing to everyone else, or she
may simply not be discussing her pregnancy at
work.
Worse yet, would be asking a co-worker when the
baby was due only to find out that she wasn't
pregnant but had just gained a few extra pounds.
Don't Ask if a Co-worker is Pregnant
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10. Tip 6
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
Your co-worker's pregnancy should not be office
gossip.
It is not your responsibility to tell others in the
office, especially her boss or supervisors. Never,
under any circumstances, talk about your co-
workers pregnancy on social media, in an email to
colleagues, or in the company newsletter unless you
have permission.
Let the mother determine who knows about the
pregnancy and when.
Do Not Broadcast the Pregnancy to Others in the Office
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11. 11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
Tip 7
Even if you feel that you have the best advice about
pregnancy or parenting, unless specifically asked,
you should keep it to yourself.
Each parent will have to determine how they handle
these events in their life. They don't need to be
bombarded with advice about food consumption,
exercise, smoking, drinking, working, breastfeeding,
vaccination schedules, circumcision, or co-sleeping.
If they want your opinion, they will certainly ask.
Don't Offer Advice about Pregnancy or Parenting
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12. Tip 8
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
The naming of a child is a parent's responsibility. It
is up to them to come up with a name that is
suitable for their child.
They might look to family names or names with
meanings or even to names that are so unique that
you've never heard of them before.
It is not up to you to suggest that the child will be
teased, no one will be able to pronounce the name,
or that learning to spell the name will be difficult.
If you don't like the name, say nothing.
Don't Make Comments About Chosen Baby Names
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13. 11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
Tip 9
Some pregnant women choose to stay at home
once the baby is born. Other women choose to
continue working, and often feel even more
dedicated to their career now that they have a child
to support.
Some women take six weeks of maternity leave.
Others take months or even years. Some women
work until the day of delivery. Others take off
months in advance.
The point here is that no two women are the same
and making comments about the way they should
handle their career and family priorities should be
avoided.
Don't Make Assumptions About Their Career
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14. Tip 10
11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
For reasons that make no sense, pregnant women
are often told horror stories of morning sickness,
terrible deliveries, and sleepless nights.
If your co-worker is experiencing any issues, they
will not need to hear the details of your own similar
problems.
If they aren't experiencing problems, they do not
need to hear details that will make them dread or
even fear this wonderful time in their life.
Don't Tell Horror Stories
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15. 11 Tips for Proper Etiquette When an Employee is Pregnant
Tip 11
Although a co-worker is pregnant, they do not
expect every conversation to revolve around this
part of their life.
They have many things that make them unique
and important. Be sure to include them in
conversations about work, even if you think they
will be gone before a project is complete.
Talk to them about your own life and events.
Generally, treat them as you would any other
colleague that doesn't happen to have a baby
bump.
Find Other Things to Discuss
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