2. What is building confidence
& competence in your child?

3. Inter-subjectivity
 What is it?
 How can we apply it?

4. Social referencing
 What is it?

5. Affect Attunement
 What is it?
 How can we apply it?

6. Things we can work on:
 Praising
“Good Job”
-Stop and think. Let‟s see how many times you can
remember saying “Good Job” to the child.
-Excessive praises can lead to children who are
highly dependent upon other people‟s praising.

7. What can we do?
 Open ended questions.
 Ask them if they approve. (throw it back at them
“engage in a game of socialized catch”)
*Mini Dialogue*

8. Things we can work on:
 Criticism
-”You‟re so messy! You used too many colors and
paint!”
-”You‟re so slow! Why can‟t you hurry up? Why
haven‟t you finished your lunch yet? I can‟t wait here all
day.”
-”Why can‟t you be more like your
brother/sister?”

9. What can we do?
 Focus on the positive. (Acknowledge any
accomplishments made.)
 Acknowledge that each child is different and do
things differently.

10. Things we can work on:
 Attitude
-Children can easily pick up signals and feed off
of your energy/attitude.
-The way you see your child is easily picked up
by them. (ex: if you see them as incompetent then they
will reflect that.)

11. What can we do?
 Parent‟s are human. It is not like every parent decides they want to stress their
child out today or “hmm I am going to take my anger out on my child today” or
“hmm I am going to hurt my child‟s feelings today” we all make mistakes. What
we can do is try our best to recognize those mistakes and learn from them. It
is not a day and night process it is something that is going to take awhile. So:
 Recognize your stressors.
 Recognize your stress busters.
 If you come home from a long day at work and you just want to take a nap or
take a small break, create some kind of respectful signal or phrase in which
you set a time (ex: 30 mins) and the child is understanding of how you feel and
use it for the entire family. For example: your family can use a simple phrase
such as “I need some „Me Time‟”
 If you‟re getting to that point in which you start to get angry or anxious, leave
the room and go breathe for a little, take 5 minutes to walk outside and admire
nature. Then when you‟re calm go back inside and continue.
 It is important to see the child‟s positive attributes.

13. Dealing with children‟s
struggle
P.A.U.L
-Meet your new best friend P.A.U.L
P: Patient
A: Attentive
U: Understanding
L: Listening