Created for high school seniors but useful for all ages. Beyond table manners, young people need Leadership Etiquette.

1. Leadership Etiquette
How small things can make a BIG difference
Etiquette Does Not Start or End at
the Dining Table

2. How much do you know?
Pop Quiz

3. What is Etiquette
 Etiquette = the sets of rules that give
expression to manners—can vary from
culture to culture
 Protocol = forms of etiquette for
ceremony and special occasions
 Good Manners = customs and
traditions of a society that govern how
people treat one another and behave in
social

4. Simply
Etiquette is making
other people feel
comfortable.

5. Why Manners are Good for You
 1. They put people at ease.
 2. They impress people.
 3. They build self-esteem.
 4. They are attractive.
 5. They allow people to live and work together without
a lot of friction.
 6. Good manners can save your life.
 7. Good manners are rare.
 8. Good manners make you feel good.
 9. Good manners make others feel good.
 10. They don’t cost anything. Manners can also help
you get a job; get what you want from your parents;
get compliments and respect; impress the opposite sex
(and their parents); get help from teachers.”

6. Top 20 Tips Part 1
 1. Use the accepted phrases: please, thank
you, may I, excuse me, I’m sorry.
 2. Write thank-you notes.
 3. Look people in the eyes.
 4. Clean up after yourself.
 5. Respect others.
 6. Don’t interrupt.
 7. Treat people the way you would like to be
treated.
 8. Use good table manners.
 9. Give a firm handshake.
10. Greet others

7. Top 20 Tips Part II
 11. Have compassion.
 12. Be thoughtful about opening doors, helping, and
offering your seat.
 13. Listen!
 14. Show special consideration to guests.
 15. Say yes, rather than yeah.
 16. Don’t say hurtful things.
 17. Think before you speak.
 18. Respect the property of others.
 19. Respect the feelings of others.
 20. Use good telephone manners.

8. Rudeness
The two best ways to respond:
1. Ignore it . . . knowing you possess good
manners and self-control.
2. 2. Be polite . . . a sign of strength but an
acquired skill.

9. Phones, Ipods, Email
Digital Distractions

10. Phone Etiquette
 You call your friend Jessica to invite her to an
event, you get her voice mail. You…
A. hang up. You hate those machines.
B. Say, Call me!” She will know it’s you.
C. Leave a message: “This is Lucy. Jessica, its Friday 2pm and
I would like to invite you to dinner at my house tonight at
6, call me when you have a chance.”
 You are at work, you answer the phone. A person
you don’t know wants to talk to your boss. You
say…
A. “Ms. Lucy is not in yet, she is at home with a sick child
would you like to call back later?”
B. “ Ms. Lucy is not available, may I take a message or would
you like her voice mail?”
C. “ sure call her on her cell phone, here is the number.”

11. More Phone Etiquette
 You have a cell phone. You are at a restaurant
with your friends when the cell phone rings. It is
your friend Sally. You…
A. Answer the phone, you really want to tell her something.
B. Keep the phone in your purse or backpack, it is not
polite to answer the phone when you are with your
family or friends.
C. Answer the phone and tell her you will call her back later

12. Ipods & Headphones
 You attend a dance recital (where your friend is
performing. After a few minutes you get bored.
 A. You take out your Ipod and listen to a few
tunes. No one will notice.
 B. You take a walk to the lobby and stay there.
 C. You take a walk, find your renewed interest
and take your seat with interest in the show.

13. Bluetooth & Cell Calls…
You use a bluetooth device to make it easier to
take calls. You stop in the grocery store to buy
a few things. As you reach the check out
counter, you…
a. Get a call, so you answer it and have a
conversation while you are checking out.
b. If you are on a call, you end your conversation
so you can interact with the clerk who is
checking you out.
c. As you walk around the store you have a
conversation about your troubles with your
boss, boyfriend, or mom. Shopping is great
time to talk on the phone.

14. Email: True or False?
 You are a creative cool person, your email is
funkyvalleygirl1965@wackyemail.com
 You check your personal email and your personal
Facebook posts at work.
 You use your work email to send gossip updates to your
friends.
 You forward every funny email you get.
 You choose a professional email for business and work
and never use personal email at work.
 Your Facebook page is about the professional you so you
promote yourself as a serious professional with a human
side.

15. Blogs, Pictures, Videos
 You cannot control what other people say
about you or the pictures they take of
you; however, YOU can control your
behavior in public and private.
 If you write online…keep other people’s
names and identities private.
 If you pose for pictures, pretend it will be
sent to your abuela.
 Remember you are always On-Stage.

16. At The Table

17. Kids can set the table

19. Forks

20. Knives

21. Spoons

22. Bordeaux Goblet Burgundy Balloon Merlot Glass Chardonnay Glass Champagne Flute

23. Dining Etiquette
 Table manners play an important part in
making a favorable impression.
 They are visible signals of the state of our
manners and therefore are essential to
professional success.
 Our manners can speak volumes about us
as professionals.

24. Napkin Use
 The meal begins when the host unfolds his or her napkin. This is
your signal to do the same.
 Place your napkin on your lap, completely unfolded if it is a small
luncheon napkin or in half, lengthwise, if it is a large dinner napkin.
Typically, you want to put your napkin on your lap soon after sitting
down at the table (but follow your host's lead).
 The napkin remains on your lap throughout the entire meal and
should be used to gently blot your mouth when needed.
 If you need to leave the table during the meal, place your napkin on
your chair as a signal to your server that you will be returning.
 The host will signal the end of the meal by placing his or her napkin
on the table. Once the meal is over, you too should place your
napkin neatly on the table to the right of your dinner plate. (Do not
refold your napkin, but don't wad it up, either.)

25. “Reading” the Table Setting
 Simple hand reminder: B and D
 To the right will be placed; glassware, cup and
saucer, knives, and spoons, as well as a seafood fork if
the meal includes seafood. It is important to place the
glassware or cup back in the same position after its use
in order to maintain the visual presence of the table.
 To the left will be placed; bread and butter plate
(including small butter knife placed horizontally across
the top of the plate), salad plate, napkin, and forks.
 Remembering the rule of "liquids on your right" and
"solids on your left" will help in allowing you to quickly
become familiar with the place setting.

26. American Style
 In the American style, one cuts the food by
holding the knife in the right hand and the fork
in the left hand with the fork tines piercing the
food to secure it on the plate.
 Cut a few bite-size pieces of food, then lay your
knife across the top edge of your plate with the
sharp edge of the blade facing in.
 Change your fork from your left to your right
hand to eat, fork tines facing up. (If you are left-
handed, keep your fork in your left hand, tines
facing up.)

27. Continental Style
 Continental Style is the same as the American
style in that you cut your meat by holding your
knife in your right hand while securing your food
with your fork in your left hand.
 The difference is your fork remains in your left
hand, tines facing down, and the knife in your
right hand.
 Simply eat the cut pieces of food by picking
them up with your fork still in your left hand.

28. When You Have Finished
 Do not push your plate away from you when you have
finished eating.
 Leave your plate where it is in the place setting.
 The common way to show that you have finished your
meal is to lay your fork and knife diagonally across your
plate. Place your knife and fork side by side, with the
sharp side of the knife blade facing inward and the
fork, tines down, to the left of the knife. The knife and
fork should be placed as if they are pointing to the
numbers 10 and 4 on a clock face.
 Once you have used a piece of silverware, never place it
back on the table. Do not leave a used spoon in a
cup, either; place it on the saucer.
 You can leave a soupspoon in a soup plate. Any unused
silverware is simply left on the table.

29. Using Good Manners at the Table
 BREAKING BREAD: Usually the bread
served at a formal function will be a roll or
a selection of specialty breads sliced and
ready to use. Remember that bread is
always broken and never cut at a formal
dining table. Butter and eat bite size
pieces.

30. Using Good Manners at the Table
 USING YOUR FINGERS: One should
never use one's fingers at any formal
dining experience, (except for moving
pieces of bread to your mouth).
 Finger Food: chicken nuggets, pizza, corn
on the cob, chicken on the
bone, olives, etc.

31. Using Good Manners at the Table
 LEFTOVERS: It is always inappropriate to
ask the waiter for a "doggy bag" to take
home the leftovers when you are a guest
at either a formal function or at a good
restaurant.
 If the waiter suggests you can take home
the leftovers, decline with a polite but
firm, "Thank you, but no".

32.  SITTING: Always sit well back in the chair so
that the seat back supports you. Sit up straight
at the table, you will tire less easily and of
course, it also makes a far better impression
than it would if you were slouching.
 HANDS: When you are not eating, keep your
hands in your lap, or resting on the table (with
only your wrists on the edge of the table). An
elbow placed upon the table is completely
unacceptable in polite company.

33. Much More
 Passing the Salt
 Passing the Bread Basket
 Removing Inedible Items from the
Mouth
 Finger Bowls
 Waste Bowls
 Eating Soup
 Serving Tea

34. Engaging with People
Fun With Friendliness

35. Surrounded by People
 Leaders:
 Acknowledge everyone around them with
a smile, a greeting, or a handshake.
 Acknowledge even those who don’t
talk…don’t forget the babies and the pets.
 Make and keep eye contact.
 SMILE
 Keep a relaxed and yet assertive
demeanor. Ooze friendliness and respect.

36. Beware Cultural Differences
 When in Rome…
 Listen to others, are they huggers, air
kissers, or three feet personal spacers?
 Choose your words…in other languages
AND in your own.
 When is “no thank you, I am not
hungry”, considered rude?
 Know your hosting protocol.

37. How do you Lead?
 Are you a mad dog or a love cat?
 In the new economy your value is based
on your network
 Don’t be a “switch” be “fireworks”

38. Small Talk vs. Talk vs. Big Talk
 There is a time for small talk and there is
a time for big talk. Which is which?
 1. conversing with the cashier at HEB.
 2. conversing with a speaker after a
speaking event.
 3. you are asked to sit on a panel for your
opinion on the Border Wall.

39. There is talking and then there is
Talking.
 A Lucila-ism:
 Your personal and professional success
will be based on the effectiveness of your
communications skills
 Learn and practice to speak in public
 Learn and practice to speak in small
groups
 Learn and practice to speak one-to-one
 Learn and practice when to STOP talking.

40. Talk, Then WRITE
 You must be able to speak well and write
well…
 Good writing only comes with daily
practice and daily READING.
 READ, READ, READ
 Stop texting and start WRITING!
 Leadership etiquette is about effective
communicating in person, in speech and in
writing.

41. Official Protocol
 Respect who you are with: elected
officials, VIPs, etc.
 Respect the building you are in: the U.S.
Capitol, a church, someone else’s home, etc.
 Respect the objects around you:
furniture, food, private belongings.
 Respect the ceremonial proceedings: from the
pledge of allegiance to the time you have to ask
questions.

42. What you do speaks so loudly
I cannot hear what you say.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Small Things Make a Big
Difference in Leadership
You are On Stage
And You are the Star!

43. So, Break A Leg
but if you need help…
Ask Lucila
lucilalagace@gmail.com
www.lagaceconsulting.com