The document discusses the challenges faced by children and families of prisoners. It shares quotes from children of incarcerated parents describing feelings of shame, guilt, and lack of support. Visiting a parent in prison can be an uncomfortable experience for children. Maintaining family connections while imprisoned is important, as prisoners who receive visits are much less likely to reoffend. However, nearly half of prisoners lose contact with family. Strong couple and parent-child relationships before and during imprisonment help promote better resettlement outcomes after release.

1. Living in theLiving in the
ShadowsShadows
Children & families of prisonersChildren & families of prisoners

2. Mark HeybourneMark Heybourne
Action for Prisoners’ FamiliesAction for Prisoners’ Families
www.prisonersfamilies.org.uk

3. When he got arrested it caused loads ofWhen he got arrested it caused loads of
fights in the family. People were reallyfights in the family. People were really
upset with him. Mum didn’t know tillupset with him. Mum didn’t know till
someone told her. I felt upset and I missedsomeone told her. I felt upset and I missed
him all the time. But I was ashamed andhim all the time. But I was ashamed and
didn’t want to tell people. We never gotdidn’t want to tell people. We never got
any information from anyone, where heany information from anyone, where he
was or what was happening.was or what was happening.
(15 year old male, father in prison(15 year old male, father in prison))

4. ‘‘The police and the Judge have beenThe police and the Judge have been
so insensitive. I feel like they had noso insensitive. I feel like they had no
care about me. I felt I had no-one tocare about me. I felt I had no-one to
talk to. I only told my two best friends.talk to. I only told my two best friends.
The school doesn't know because IThe school doesn't know because I
don’t think they will be sympathetic.don’t think they will be sympathetic.
Now I am doing my GCSEs I reallyNow I am doing my GCSEs I really
wished they knew. ‘wished they knew. ‘
(16 year old female, both parents in(16 year old female, both parents in
prison)prison)

5. A 14 yr old girl saidA 14 yr old girl said
““It makes you feel horrible, like youIt makes you feel horrible, like you
have done something too. Theyhave done something too. They
watch you and make you feel guiltywatch you and make you feel guilty
just for being there. They search youjust for being there. They search you
and make you take your shoes offand make you take your shoes off
and you feel stupid and horrible. Youand you feel stupid and horrible. You
don’t get used to it”.don’t get used to it”.

6. A 13 yr old boy saidA 13 yr old boy said
““It gets on my nerves how much there is toIt gets on my nerves how much there is to
go through. No-one can have any privacy.go through. No-one can have any privacy.
You want some space to yourself. It isYou want some space to yourself. It is
dead boring just sitting there. The chairsdead boring just sitting there. The chairs
are uncomfortable and there isn’t anythingare uncomfortable and there isn’t anything
to do. You just sit there and wait for ages,to do. You just sit there and wait for ages,
just to go in. I don’t know why they havejust to go in. I don’t know why they have
to make you wait all that time”to make you wait all that time”

7. “To keep his interest in the family so he doesn’t
forget us, so he doesn’t forget that we exist.
But also to let him know that we care”
(13 year old male, step-father in prison)
“She mustn’t think we don’t love her. She
might harm herself again if she
thinks we don’t love her”
(15 year old female, mother in prison)

8. 45% of people in prison lose45% of people in prison lose
contact with their familiescontact with their families
22% of people who were22% of people who were
married on imprisonmentmarried on imprisonment
become separated or divorcedbecome separated or divorced

9. People in prison who are
able to maintain good family
contact are up to SIX times
less likely to re-offend.

10. ““I personally recommend theI personally recommend the
course to anyone. It has boughtcourse to anyone. It has bought
me and my fiancé closer as ame and my fiancé closer as a
couple and we are now bothcouple and we are now both
happy in our relationship andhappy in our relationship and
looking forward to beinglooking forward to being
reunited on my release.”reunited on my release.”

11. Resettlement of Imprisoned Fathers
into Families in the UK
Margaret O’Brien
UEA
Supported by
Nuffield Foundation

12. Aim and objectives
• To explore the factors
which promote and/or
hinder the successful
resettlement of fathers into
the lives of their children
and families following
imprisonment.
• To assess the quality of
prisoner fathers’
parental and couple
relationships prior to
release;
• To explore associations
between the quality of
prisoner fathers’ family
relationships and
subsequent resettlement.

13. Patterns of father- child contact
in Prison– significant proportions received no
letters (30%) telephone calls (21%)
or visits (47%) from child
– ‘‘I’ve never really seen her or been
a father with her and it’s not
helped me being in here ‘cos there’s
nothing I can do about it. They
look at me as a criminal; they don’t
want me to have anything to do
with my daughter where I think
really I’ve got a right to be a
father.”

14. Patterns of father- child contact
in Prison
– But for over a third of
fathers (37%) monthly
or weekly visits from
the target child (with
mother) were
customary

15. Role of Couple relationship
• Over 80% fathers who have at least
monthly contact with their target child also
report a good or excellent current couple
relationship.
• By contrast 70% who never saw their target
child report a very poor/ poor or fair current
couple relationship.

16. Role of Couple relationship
• Pre-prison couple status
Men who were married/
cohabiting with mother/ target
child before more likely to rate
couple relationship as
good/excellent and have more
contact.
‘[she’s a] very good mother to
the children, and very good to
me about bringing them up all
the time – she’s under no
obligation to do so’.
• Couple relationship is more
critical than father- child
relationship to promoting
continuing prisoner father-child
contact

17. Policy implications
• Resettlement initiatives need to be father
and couple sensitive.
• Routinely record parental status, couple
status and quality, family residence pattern
on prison admission.
• The couple relationship could be central in
promoting more responsible parenting from
fathers and in reducing recidivism

18. Mark@actionpf.org.ukMark@actionpf.org.uk