Forming the ideal perspective motivation kids, education kids

FORMING THE IDEAL
PERSPECTIVE
FOR TEENAGERS
KERRY GIRLING

Dedicated to All the teenagers
I haven’t yet inspired

Table of Contents
Introduction.............................................................................................. 1
Chapter One – Self-image......................................................................... 9
Chapter Two – Influence ........................................................................ 17
Chapter Three – Abuse, turmoil and hardship....................................... 22
Chapter Four - Aligning a healthier self-image through a Positive focus28
Chapter Five– Understanding what you want........................................ 33
Chapter Seven – Visualizing your ideals................................................. 47
Chapter Eight–Appreciating what you already have.............................. 54
Chapter Nine – Taking advantage of the opportunities......................... 59
Chapter Ten – You are the Director........................................................ 67
Chapter Eleven – Building your Karma bank.......................................... 70
Chapter Twelve – The origin of your beliefs........................................... 72
Chapter Thirteen – You are more than you were led to Believe ........... 79
Chapter Fourteen – Accepting life for what it is .................................... 86
Chapter Fifteen – Living in the moment................................................. 96
Ten factors to help you find your inner bliss:....................................... 101

Atelphobia; the fear of not being good
enough

1
Introduction
We are all searching for the exact same things in life. We all want to be
successful. We all want to shine in the limelight of our best selves. We
all wish to evoke on a mission that will fulfill our passions. We all want
to be befriended by those who treat us fairly; those who strive to help
us achieve our dreams and aspirations. In fact, every human being on
the planet is searching for the path of righteousness that'll lead to true
wholesome happiness. This is something that we all have in common.
The problem is; there are too many negative variables in the realm that
persuades us in the opposite direction.
Although we are all striving to be happier people, we find ourselves
completely off the path of refined happiness quite a few times in our
lives. From birth till death these negative variables come and go. They
discriminate against ourselves in more than one way, leading our minds
to generate self-pity and a lowered esteem rather than encouraging us
to be our best selves.
We often see our lives as the exact opposite of happy. We are provoked
daily to search outwardly to find happiness rather than searching for it
within our own mindset. We are told from the very beginning that
happiness can be bought in a store. Television ads have literally
brainwashed us to search for happiness online. We then spend our
every waking moment to achieving this great success because it has
been ingrained in our minds. We read magazines and literature that

2
focusses solely on fake-filled happiness. The kind you see literally every
financially successful individual pursuing. Even our role models; the
people we look up to. The people we aspire to. They too share the exact
same shallow image of success. They paint a picture of it through flashy
wealth, fast cars, big houses, sparkling diamonds and stacks of cash. The
unfortunate truth to all of this is that it's only leading you towards
unhappiness; exactly the opposite of where we truly want to be in life.
There's literally a plethora of variables that determine our path of
happiness. These variables come in the form of heightened anticipation
derived from physical things. We see other people harnessing these
qualities which only generates feelings of weakness and instability. We
feel inferior to these people because their outside reflection mirrors
what we believe is true happiness. Unfortunately, we are blindly led all
throughout our lives to search for these physical things because we
know no different. Even our parents and siblings reflect the exact same
appeal towards materialism. The problem is; during our entire pursuit to
finding happiness we fail to understand ourselves; who we are and what
we are actually searching for. We become lost in our minds when we
realize that our pursuit was entirely out of the line of ideal happiness.
We see that all of these materialistic things that we achieved are now
either outdated or we have become bored of them, or simply sold them.
As we’ve become adults we've lost complete sense of our spiritual side.
Our own initiatives led us into this deceitful predicament. We see that it
was our own individual choices that led us to where and who we are

3
today (as adults). We become jaded not only from all the negativity in
our surroundings but from the lack of our own positive lifestyle choices.
We learn to understand that neither of our influences who persuaded
this negatively are no longer a part of our existence. This generates a
fine level of uncertainty in ourselves. It makes us feel weak and
defeated. In the end, the majority of us are just unhappy people.
The reality is; we all have an equal opportunity to become uniquely
satisfied with who we are as individuals. We all harness the capability of
achieving great successes but we learn later in life that success cannot
be generated in physical form. It can only come from within. We have
every talent inside of us to fulfill our every passion. Every characteristic
needed to pursue our ambitions are already present, yet we allow
outside influence to determine whether we use these talents and
characteristics altogether. Even though every individual harnesses every
aspect of happiness in our own minds we fail to understand this until
much later in life. It's truly unfortunate to see that most of us are
searching in the exact opposite direction of what makes us truly happy
people.
Aside from the physical components of success we often fall victim to
the associations of negativity. Our disbelief in ourselves weighs heavily
on our ambitious side. We lose our imagination long before adulthood
because we've let the negativity seep into our morals, values, and
beliefs. In fact, this very negativity is the reason behind our
unhappiness. We fail to understand ourselves because we get lost in the
complex nature of the negative aspects of our everyday experiences.

4
Our goals and dreams are swept away by a simple comment made by
another person, only to replace our perspective with a fake version of
reality. All of these variables paint a solid picture of an impossible
pursuit of happiness. War and violence and hate crimes are all a
reflection of how negative we have enlisted our talents and ambitions.
It's really a sad sight to see.
If we were only to find the true wealth that surrounds our everyday
footsteps we would be much happier people. The true wealth is found
in quality time spent with our loved ones, associating ourselves with
people who are in line with our values and beliefs, focussing less on the
financial and more on our spirituality, and giving to others. In fact, these
very non-physical things are the exact definition of what's truly
important in life. They are pertinent to our happiness. They are the true
undisputed components that are often taken for granted. They are
usually looked at as wishy-washy, fake and unimportant. Yet they are
truly the most important factors of finding ourselves. Unfortunately,
most of the population doesn't see it this way.
I won't hide the fact that money and materialism do in fact generate a
fine line of happiness. But they surely aren't capable of delivering long-
lasting happiness in abundance. They aren't geared towards serving a
smile on your face for more than a slight moment in time. Yes, money is
an integral part of society. It's been bred into our minds as a necessity
much like every other life staples such as water and shelter. Literally,
everything we see, do or touch has some financial component attached
to it. Money is our way of life. But, when you look into the situation a lot

5
closer you'll come to realize that after all of our life necessities are taken
care of; a roof over our head, food on the table and the like, neither of
us truly needs an abundance of money or materialism. It's really the
exact opposite of what we were led to believe. More is actually less.
Our role models have worked towards achievement in almost every way
yet they are still unhappy people. Even though they drive flashy cars,
own more than one dwelling, and they have more money in their back
pockets than we have in our bank account, they’ve realized that neither
of this stuff is pertinent to living a happy life. In fact, those who seek
happiness through materialism are truly the unhappiest. It isn't until we
see the other side of the equation; those who generate happiness
through altruistic behavior; those who see beyond the limitations of
plastic nonsense, and those who have found ideal happiness through
other more mindful ways that we understand that happiness isn't
derived through physical form.
Each of these variables determine the rate of our happiness. They are
clear-cut forms of what's not important in life. In fact, since before we
could even speak a word, before we even knew how to find ourselves,
we were led to believe this unfortunate tale that happiness can be
bought in a store. Our minds were tainted from the very beginning. We
never even had a chance to develop our own image of happiness
because we were persuaded otherwise by people we care for and
believe in. Even our passions and ambitions were persuaded negatively
through the eyes of unrealistic achievement. Even though it's clear to
see that we will be happier people simply by giving to others, we still

6
maintain a steady focus on the physical realm of fantasy. Even though
we’ve witnessed altruism through some of the great achievers like
Anthony Robbins, Mother Teresa, and the like, and through all the
altruistic initiatives of people in our surroundings, we've failed to rewire
the Nero linguistic associations to the physical wants in our
brains.Flashy things are just more appealing to the eye I guess.
The truth is; the only way to understand whether our initiatives are
focussed on a proper path to ideal happiness is to search within
ourselves. This very exercise is so important in the realm of being
happy. Unfortunately, very few of us take the initiative to get to know
ourselves because our minds have been so tainted in the past. We have
generated an insufficient perspective of ourselves because we have
been let down so many times before. Although the majority of us are
very self-centered as it is, we focus on unhealthy factors that make up
our mindset. Rather than focusing on the possibilities, we focus on an
impossible form of happiness; through physical things. It isn't until you
search within yourself that you will understand what's truly needed to
provide long-lasting happiness. Happiness truly only comes from within.
Within these pages, you will learn to view your own reality in an entirely
different perspective that has never been taught in the regular school
curriculum. You will learn to understand yourself in an entirely different
way than you ever knew before. You will finally come to terms with your
own existence. This in itself will generate insurmountable results in
every realm of your life. The truth is; the only thing stopping you from
living a life filled with abundant happiness is your own mindset. When

7
you come to your own conclusion that you are in charge of your own
level of happiness you will adapt to a healthier perspective of your own
reality, as long as you stay dedicated to the material in this book.

8
“If you're looking for that one person
that'll change your life, look into the
mirror.”

Forming the Ideal Perspective
9
Chapter One – Self-image
Self-image is the underlying factor of any and all types of success.
Regardless of how positive you are towards your experiences, if you
harness an unhealthy self-image you're destined for failure.
It doesn't matter how aggressive you are in your pursuit towards
happiness, if you constantly view yourself as inadequate you will only
receive inadequacies from the universe. Your life will be quite
redundant and mediocre if you continue to enlist your mindset down a
path of deceit. If however, you view yourself as a confident, smart,
capable and happy individual then the universe will provide
opportunities and make it easier for you to become a truly happy
person.
Those who find their passions and stick to fulfilling them will never work
another day for the rest of their lives because their efforts will not feel
like work. Passion seekers who believe in themselves will succeed well
beyond those who consistently doubt themselves.
In order to instill success into one’s life, this individual must have
certainty and a direct inner confidence about their talents, plus they
must harness a belief in themselves that they are capable of
accomplishing what they set their mind to. There are numerous times
where outside influence negatively affects our judgements about
ourselves and the goals we set out to achieve. This taunts us to discredit
ourselves. We start to disbelieve our morals and values which directly

Kerry Girling
10
undermines our beliefs. All too often, even just a single simple comment
made from another individual can swell into our belief system forcing us
to doubt ourselves for long enough, bringing our self-confidence down
to an unhealthy level. This ultimately determines the faith in ourselves,
and it determines whether we continue on our journey, or if we choose
to let it go.
Believing in oneself is the single most important fundamental in
achieving anything. Nobody ever achieved anything through a lack of
belief in themselves. That's contradictory in so many ways actually. In
order to fulfill your greatest desires you need to instill a healthy level of
confidence. This will be explained more in-depth in future chapters.
Without a healthy self-image, you're destined for failure. Sometimes
our self-image shifts day-by-day depending upon how many challenges
we foresee. We have seen in literally every great achiever; he or she has
instilled a great level of confidence in themselves. We have also seen
these very same people fail at any given time due to the lack of their
self-confidence. Take Tiger Woods for example; he is and always has
been a great golfer. His game was ultimately led by attaining the very
thought that he what is the very best in his field. In fact, he went into
great depths, including numerous goalsetting practices to attain a high
level of positive thinking towards his mission of being the best. Although
there were plenty of times his negative judgements of himself led him
to become defeated, there were very few times he wasn’t able to grasp
his confidence. This is what ultimately led him to be the best in his field.

11
Every single day he awoke, and during almost every trivial responsibility
he overtook he believed in himself. He would imagine himself already
achieving his goal months even years prior to achieving it. He would
imagine himself on the golf course, even when he was sitting in his own
bedroom, taking on some of the greatest golf opponents. I wouldn't be
surprised if he dreamed about it at night too. But, every thought he
harnessed through the day was positive in nature, especially during his
golf practices. He never allowed any negativity; any outside influence to
affect his judgement and perception of being the best in his field. This is
truly why he brought his dreams to fruition.
As you can see, Tiger Woods is a primary example of success. He has
achieved in almost every possible way in his field. We have all seen that
his accomplishments became a reality because he applied his passion
and mixed it with an inner desire to be the best he can be.
Going back to Tiger Woods practices. Yes, he was thorough in his
physical approach to golf. I'm sure he was at the driving range for hours
daily. I'm sure he worked out at the gym for an hour or two as well. I'm
sure he even went into the depths of playing around or two every day
he awoke. But, the single most important factor in all of his
achievements was that he maintained a positive and healthy mindset
literally all the time.
There is an abundance of factors associated with failure. But, not a
single one of them is as detrimental to you as a negative self-image. The
most unfortunate reality is that very few human beings even try to
maintain a positive self-image.

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12
Neither of us is even capable of being positive 100% of the time. It's
literally impossible. There's usually something; some type of obstacle in
our minds at any given time that's weighing us down. That's why it's so
important to embrace and instill positive thinking in your regime. If you
were to take any wisdom from this book this would be it.The self-image
is a significant portion of your overall well-being. If it isn't tended to it'll
lay wayside to your failures.
It's a very common trait for adults to harness negative baggage from
their past. It's inevitable that each of us will succumb to our fair share of
negativity. Many of our experiences are silver lined with negativity
actually. This only takes us away from living in the moment or spending
quality time with people we love. Life in itself is a self-fulfilling
prophecy; although we aim to maintain a steady pursuit towards our
initiatives, sometimes our pursuit takes us away from the things that are
truly important in life. That’s why it’s so important to intertwine positive
thinking into your regime.
All in all, our experiences engrave our beliefs and shape our morals and
values. Our experiences are the biggest influence in our lives. Without a
healthy self-image, your emotional state will fall to the weigh side.
Often times, adults take even the simplest realm of negativity from their
past and allow it to interlace into their overall perspective of reality.
They let it dwindle their mindset down to nothing. This ultimately leads
them to immense failure. It leads them towards a life filled with
mediocrity. Something nobody wishes upon themselves.

13
The self-image is a lot more complex than one would imagine. It has
many different responsibilities. Aside from being the mentor of your
initiatives, it is the deciding factor amongst all of your achievements. It
directs your emotional state. It predicts whether you will be successful.
In addition, it calculates your opportunities like a mathematical
equation. If it's running at an optimal pace it will align your initiatives
with success, whereas, if you constantly feed it with negativity, it'll
ensure it keeps your experience on earth in line with your negative
thoughts.
Unfortunately, this world is filled with a lot of chaos, turmoil and
negativity. Each of our experiences is filled with negative factors. These
qualities discussed in this book aren’t taught in the regular school
curriculum. There's actually very little teachings in the realm of passion
finding and finding ourselves in conventional education. That's the true
obvious reason behind the initiatives in writing this book. The truth is;
every experience we deal with, regardless of who you are, is instilled
with negative qualities. It really all depends on how you look at any
given situation. This will surely determine your outcome.
Each of our experiences is filled with both positive and negative aspects.
And the only true way we judge our experiences; whether they are
positive or negative, is through our reaction to it. Obviously, a healthy
self-image will transpire more positive belief. Whereas, a negative self-
image will only lead the individual down the path of mediocrity. The
truth is; it's your choice and responsibility as an individual to look at

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every given situation in a positive way. Otherwise, you will just be
unhappy.
Self-image = vibrational frequency
If your self-image is in line with a positive perspective your mind and
body will operate at a higher frequency. Scientists have proven over the
years that the cells in our body never stop moving. As long as they're
alive they are kicking and vibrating at various frequencies. Positive
thoughts generate higher frequencies. Negative thoughts generate
lower frequencies. When your mindset is in line with positivity your
body will ultimately generate a higher frequency which will match the
opportunities you receive in life.
Vibrational frequency is an underlining term in the realm of the law of
attraction. When you are operating at an optimal frequency range you
will be aligned with other individuals who are operating at the same or
near frequency range. Our vibrational frequency range determines
which types of opportunities are presented in our lives.
As you look into your past you will see that all throughout your life,
regardless of the stage, your self-image reflected the quality of
experience. You will see that your direct influences; the people who
were involved in those experiences, were exactly in line with the way
you felt about yourself. For example, during times in life when you had a
heightened sense of self-pity you hung around with lower quality
individuals; people who thought low of themselves. But, when you were
confident and felt high about yourself your outside influence was filled

15
with positive qualities. This ultimately led you to experience happier,
successful and more loving experiences.
Your thoughts about yourself are a direct reflection of the quality of
experience you have in this lifetime. The best practises you can align
into your own daily regimen is a positive thought. Regardless of the
activity, or where you are in your life, as long as you can align positive
thoughts within the experience you will be in line with happiness. It is
only when you doubt yourself when you succumb to failure. Those who
strive for a positive path and stay consistent with positive thought will
achieve greatness. Those who continue to dwell in their own self-pity
are snails in the pursuit and the eyes of success.
Think of every human being as a radio tower. Each of us is operating at a
different frequency range. The rule is; each individual is only allowed to
interact with other radio towers whose frequency range is similar.
Those operating at higher frequencies automatically generate better
opportunities and better relationships. Whereas, those operating at a
lower frequency, they generate the opposite. This law of vibrational
frequency is as perfect as any other mathematical formula. Those who
take this for granted are those who fail to meet their own expectations.
There are a variety of ways that one can increase their self-image. All of
which will be described in later chapters. The most important factor is
understanding where your own self-image is operating at.

Kerry Girling
16
“The surest way to lose your self-image
is to find it through the eyes of other
people.”

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Chapter Two – Influence
It is our own individual obligation and responsibility to fulfill our own
happiness. What's rarely ever equated into the mix is that our reaction
to our experiences is heavily weighted on other people's perspectives.
The people we associate with harness negative qualities too. Thus, their
influence upon us taints our perspective with negativity.
Each of us has come across negative influences along our righteous
path. Whether we like to admit it or not, each of us has had a friend or
two who we wouldn't even think of bringing home to our parents. These
types of people expel negative energy on most occasions. They are
definitely not the type of individuals we tell about our goals because
their negativity only leads us towards doubting ourselves. But,
regardless of how negative they are, we continue to intertwine them
into our everyday experiences.
You will see a direct reflection of quality within your experiences strictly
based off of the quality of individuals you incorporate into your life. You
can never label anyone as 100% positive or 100% negative because each
of us is capable of serving both. In fact, even the most deceitful
individuals; people like Hitler and Stalin, even they too harnessed
positive qualities. Distinguishing whether an individual is a positive or a
negative influence isn't only decided in their overall approach to life, it
sometimes comes down to just one or two instances that showed
they’re incapable of being a quality player.

Kerry Girling
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The lack of support and negative energy that some of our poorest
friendship choices expel is enough to say they serve no purpose in our
lives anymore. The best trait we harness that helps us define our
influences is our gut instinct. Unfortunately, it’s often overlooked and
taken for granted especially if we harness a low self-image.
Our response to any given experiences is directly impacted by our
perspective. Our perspective is heavily impacted by our belief system
and through our values and morals. Our influences are also a big part of
the equation. Often times, the people we associate with persuade our
perspective in a negative path.
We've all been duped by people who we thought were in favour of our
happiness. It's inevitable that each of us will experience hardship
through our associations. The unfortunate truth in the realm is that
neither of us experiences life through anybody else's shoes. We see
what we experience, and we experience what we see, not what
everybody else experiences. The only life we live is our own. This means
that we are all in an individual pursuit of our own happiness. We aren't
necessarily focussed on helping other people achieve happiness. How
could we? We experience lives entirely differently.
Each of us is in our own individual pursuit of happiness. Neither of our
paths is congruent to one another. In fact, there are a plethora of
different paths that each of us can take in life, all leading to their own
individual playing field of happiness. Although all paths will lead us to a
slightly different reality, in the end, there's a fine line between both
positive and negative qualities within each path of choice. It's your own

19
individual choice to choose which path you will take. This all boils down
to the level and commitment of your own self-image and the choice of
people you associate with. Everything else is based on personal
preference.
As stated earlier, you can get a clear understanding of whether your
associations are in line with your values and beliefs simply by listening
to your gut instinct. This is one characteristic you do not want to lose
belief in because it offers so many powerful insights to who you are.
Generally, if someone encourages you to fulfil your ambitions. If they’re
always there for you when you need them. If they listen, encourage you
and allow you to share your goals with them, then there’s a good
chance they’re a positive influence. However, if they always reek with
negativity when you associate with them. If they always seem to find
something negative about what you have to say, or if they bring you
down in your pursuit of happiness then they are a negative influence.
There's nothing more powerful than a team of positive thinkers. When
you associate yourself with positive people you will transpire a whole
new realm of happiness. If however, you surround yourself with
negative influences your life will be the in the hands of detrimental
figures. The most unfortunate part is that most of us learn we were in
the footsteps of a negative influence only after we’ve been taken
advantage of.
People come and go in our lives all the time. There are many quality
individuals we came across, probably just as many in the negative
realm. Your current friendship circle is a direct reflection of your self-

Kerry Girling
20
image. Whether you've realized it yet or not, your friends were formed
from a combination of how you see yourself and how you see reality. It
all comes down to perspective.
You yourself have a responsibility to shape a better self-image; to
formulate a better perspective of yourself and the way you see reality.
Doing so will ultimately lead you towards a happier life. Whether you
want to get better grades, harness more fulfilling relationships, get a
better job, or anything in between, when you associate yourself with
better quality people and form a healthier perspective, you will
ultimately achieve a happier way of living.

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“Be proud of whom you are and not
ashamed by the way others see you.”

Kerry Girling
22
Chapter Three – Abuse, turmoil and hardship
There are an abundance of limiting factors that contribute to our
failures. Some of the most difficult things to get through are derived
through our hardships, dealing with traumatic experiences and through
bullying. These few factors in itself can be the difference between living
happy-filled lives, or living in despair.
Regardless of who you are, where are you are from, what culture, race
or background, each of us have gone through our fair share of turmoil.
There are numerous ways we lose sense of ourselves. It often comes
down to how many trials have taken over your mentality. It has only
been a decade and a half since humanity has garnered a focal point on
bullying and its long-lasting negative effects. The truth is; each of us
have been bullied; verbally, physically, mentally or sexually. These
negative experiences have led us to lower the image we host of
ourselves. It's made us develop hatred, remorse and filled us with
disbelief. Even the smaller instances; the small nasty negative
comments, they too are detrimental to our psyche. If these nasty
mental images persist in our minds there is only a very small chance we
will ever rebuild a healthy self-image.
Self-limiting beliefs and suffering from abuse
It doesn’t matter what type of lifestyle one lives, or what culture he is
brought up in, it doesn’t even matter who his influences are, each of us

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harness negative self-defeating beliefs about ourselves at times. These
negative self-defeating thoughts not only keep us from living our
dreams, they also keep us from enjoying the current moment, and
eliminate all possibilities of becoming enlightened. These beliefs reside
within us through our past experiences. In fact, each experience we’ve
lived has helped shape our personalities. An infinite amount of factors
contribute to our beliefs. As mentioned, our beliefs are changing daily
with each experience we live through. These factors range in form and
come at random to each of us, making our lives completely different
from one and other. Negative beliefs create reciprocating negative
thoughts within our minds. These thoughts create invisible limitations
that cause disbelief and inner sadness. They rape us from any type of
satisfaction and inner happiness. They, in fact, cause a slow death
within us over time.
Some of the most common defeating thoughts that reside in our minds
are brought on by abuse. In fact, many of our limiting beliefs occurred in
our youthful years – in elementary school, high school, or even in
college. During these years, we were opened up to society in a
completely different form. By accepting the social environment around
us, we became educated, found jobs and even grew families. During this
time, we went through various experiences that included interaction
with other people. Even though, the majority of these experiences were
positive in nature (from our own perspectives), we also went through
negative experiences in the form of bullying and unwanted abuse. This
abuse came in the form of verbal comments, physical and mental abuse.

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Many times, these negative experiences caused us to become angry
with the world and we became frightened of others, which only
generated more self-defeating thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.
Over time, these negative beliefs strengthened in our minds, making it
rather difficult for us to move forward in a positive direction.
Bullying is an issue that humans have been dealing with for Centuries.
My father, his father, even my great Grandfather was bullied. We all go
through it. Some experience it in school as a youthful teenager, while
others experience it at home in a nasty relationship. Neither of us are
immune to it. It happens in the workplace, it happens at soccer practice
and it also happens to the people that you'd least expect. I've touched
quite a bit on this subject in The First Chapter and within my
presentations, but I always make it a point to direct a focus on this topic
because it's an issue that everyone faces at some point in their lives.
Bullying is a term that is commonly misconceived. Even though, it's
generally a common term used on the playground at school, it's
something that every child and every adult will experience within their
lives. Bullying is much more than just a random playground miss-hap,
it’s something that tears apart a person’s confidence. It rapes us of our
courage and it leads to most illnesses and crimes. Bullying is no different
than assault or harassment. I've seen bullying happen at schools and
within my own family. I've even experienced it myself many times.
Bullying is like a plague that keeps circulating society. It generates
quickly and it can set you back instantly. If nothing is done about it there

25
are serious risks of mental problems and health issues. It’s something
that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
I've spoken to a countless amount of grown adults that have such a low
confidence in themselves because of bullying they experienced as early
as when they were in middle school, and they still haven’t dealt with it.
It has eaten away at them for most of their lives. It's something that
doesn’t easily go away. It stays with a person well into adulthood. Some
people even take their troubles of bullying to their deathbed. Additional
challenges can take place when a person has been bullied on a
continuous basis. In fact, I've witnessed bullying tear apart entire
communities. In addition to all of the common side effects that bullying
has, it can lead to diseases and death. As mentioned, we all experience
it but very few of us do anything about the damage that it has caused.
Even though bullying may have caused damage to you, there is still
hope. The damage that has been done can be eliminated with a proper
focus.
Bullying can have serious psychological effects on a person. It can be
detrimental to their life plan and can eat away at a person’s mind for
years. The feelings that you get after being bullied consist of guilt,
blame, anger, frustration, sadness and a ton of other various negative
emotions. If a person keeps their saddened feelings within themselves
for too long their imagination starts to fade away slowly along with
other important pieces that help us develop proper brain functioning.
This all leads to a defeated mindset. When a person is mentally
defeated, it’s virtually impossible to seek any form of enlightenment. In

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fact, the more negativity that dwells inside a person, the harsher it is to
reveal the true inner potential of this person.
Eliminating abuse within a person’s life will drastically increase their
self-worth. It will help increase their confidence and it will make them
feel more important to society. Having a healthy self-image will
empower those to make healthier choices. Everyone has positive
qualities about them that make them unique to society. It’s time to start
looking at these positive qualities in more positive light and address
appreciation towards them. To be truly enlightened one needs to be
one hundred percent confident in themselves. Any self-defeating
thoughts will take away from the satisfaction one would feel during the
process to enlightenment. In fact, the present moment cannot be
enjoyed unless one eliminates all forms of self-defeating thoughts and
beliefs about themselves altogether. It’s simply impossible to achieve
enlightenment without owning up to a positive mindset.
Our experiences and the way we respond to them are directly related to
our quality of influence and the way we perceive ourselves. It's been
said that a person is the sum of his closest influences. This means that
an individual is no greater than who he hangs around with. It's true; the
only way you can generate a better more fulfilling life is if we associate
ourselves around quality individuals. The only way we can be better
with anything is if we breed positive thought towards our futures. The
only way you can develop more quality thoughts is to force yourself to
eliminate the negative influence in your life.

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“A strong and positive self-image is the
best possible preparation for success in
your life.”

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Chapter Four - Aligning a healthier self-
image through a Positive focus
The most common excuse heard about why people don't set goals is
because they don't have confidence in themselves. They feel their goals
are merely a letdown. They’re afraid to accomplish them because
they’ve experienced failure in abundance in the past. Lack of confidence
happens to be a widespread issue amongst humanity. The good news is;
confidence can be developed.
People have literally moved mountains with their initiatives when
operating at a healthy level of confidence. I remember acquaintances in
high school who were severely shy and timid, barely able to strike up a
conversation. Now they're running their own companies and masters of
communication. Their actions have proven that confidence is nearly a
state of mind that can be altered with practice.
Even I lack confidence from time to time, but after I learned a valuable
technique to bring it back I was right back in the game of writing goals
and fulfilling my ambitions. There are a variety of exercises available to
those who wish to increase their confidence. One of the best methods
ever implemented is a Positive focus. This single application, if applied
properly, will be a game-changer in the aftermath of fulfilling your
dreams.

29
The more confident you are when writing your goals means a clearer
image of what you want to accomplish. When you’re happy and
confident it’s easier to tap into your imagination, thus making it easier
to accomplish the things that really matter to you. A Positive Focus will
help you gain all of this. It is suggested to do a Positive focus before
writing your goals. This will encourage you to believe in yourself.
A positive focus is a strategy that focuses on all your recent
accomplishments. It helps build your confidence and gets you in the
mood to write your goals. So get a pad of paper and a pen. Let's get
started.
The technique:
Dissect a piece of paper in three categories – three months, six months,
and long-term. Label them at the top. Now, visualize all your past
accomplishments in the respective time frame and write at least three
down in each category.
Sometimes it can be difficult thinking back into your past, especially the
positive things because our brains are hardwired to focus more so on
the negative aspects of our lives. But with a steady focus, you'll come up
with at least three in each category. Think long and hard of all of your
recent accomplishments – big or small. If you’re having a difficult time
searching for them enlist a trusted friend to help you brainstorm.
Once you list your recent accomplishments it'll help you bring your
confidence to where it needs to optimally be. This will, in turn, allow
you to focus on your long-term goals; your overall perspective of your
happiness. This exercise will kick start your confidence back in the right

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30
direction. Once you’ve completed your positive focus, the next step is to
start writing your goals.
I recommend doing a positive focus every six months. This will keep you
on track of a healthy self-confidence, and it will allow you to feel good
about the good things you've done. Plus, it'll help you tap into your
imagination, enabling you to think more in-depth about what you need
to accomplish to fulfill your happiness.
When you see yourself in healthier terms you’ll start to perceive
everything around you in positive terms. Life is filled with so many
positive things, yet all too often we generate hatred and boredom
towards our surroundings. We tend to see only the negative qualities.
Life itself feels like a never-ending cycle of failure. We see it this way
because we've been bred to see only the weaknesses. If we were to
shift our perspective towards a healthier state of mind we would bask in
the glory of all our enjoyable moments. We would be able to actually
live in the moment and appreciate what we were given; the very act of
life, rather than constantly dwelling upon our defeats. A positive focus
will encourage you to operate at your most optimal state.
People are usually focussed on their inequalities rather than on the
happiness they already harness. They've been duped so many times
before, now their entire perspective of life is jaded. Although obvious in
so many ways, their happiness is weakened by their blindness of their
own talents. In other words, they've failed to find their happiness
because it already resides inside of them. If they were to persuade
themselves to focus on the things they've already accomplished they

31
would be better off and living a satisfied life. Their tainted mindset leads
them exactly opposite of where they wish to be.
Happiness resides within us, not from an outside source. It's intertwined
in our experiences with other people, not derived from materialistic
nonsense. When you look back at all the fun and positive
accomplishments and experiences you’ve been a part of you'll come to
realize you have a lot more happiness inside of you than you thought
you actually did.

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“What consumes your mind controls
your life.”

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Chapter Five– Understanding what you want
Understanding what you want in life can be a lot trickier than it sounds.
Many of us have no clue what we want in life even into our adult years.
In fact, studies have proven that millennial's are on the path to
encompass around 10 different career choices. The days where an
individual would work at a company for 25+ years is unheard of. Plus,
there are literally twenty times the amount of career choices compared
to twenty years ago. This means there is a multitude of different choices
in the spectrum, making it more confusing. Just like going to a
restaurant that has a complicated menu with a variety of tailored
options, your life is no different; it can be extremely difficult to order
what you want.
There are so many different options in regards to achievement. The
truth is; neither of us wants the exact same thing, nor do we experience
remotely similar experiences. Although we may feel the exact same
emotions, and we may go through similar amounts of tribulations,
neither of us have the exact same characteristic compound when it
comes to things we want in life.
Having a steady and direct approach to fulfilling your desires is a big
part of being happy. A man is never satisfied when he has no sense of
direction. He will never be satisfied with his life until he finds an arena
to unleash his talents. Even though boredom can sometimes be

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appealing, nobody is fully satisfied when they are just sitting there
unwinding their mindset.
There are plenty of people in their late 40s and 50s who still don't know
what they want. There are people who have tried twenty different
career choices and still don’t know what they want. There are people
who never find what they're looking for. These are the types of people
who never try to find what they're looking for in life. You need to look
within yourself to find the answers.
Often times, we look to find ourselves through the eyes of other people.
We see their accomplishments and the smiles on their faces but we fail
to understand what actually put it there in the first place. Literally,
everyone you see is projecting a fake reality of what actually is.
Everybody perceives everything completely differently when you get
down to the bottom of it. Each of us displays a different persona based
on the way we perceive reality. Being that our perceptions are entirely
different from the next person means that neither of us is searching for
the exact same things. There are only two qualities that each of us share
100% of the time. We are all searching for happiness and neither of us
wants to suffer.
There are so many differentiating factors in the equation of finding
happiness. Being that each of us wants something different it makes it
difficult to find what we are individually looking for in life. Is it freedom?
Is it money? Is it faith? Is it more time spent with quality people and
those we love? Is it our passions? What will bring us happiness? These

35
questions can only be answered individually; from an individual
perspective. It can only be answered by you, my friend.
In order to understand what we want we need to understand our values
and beliefs. Yes, we all look similar. We all go through the same amount
of negativity. We even learn the same amount of lessons within a
respectable amount of time frame. There are plenty of things that
outwardly look similar with respect to our happiness, but our ambitions
couldn’t be further from the same when it comes to finding our
happiness.
The only true known method of understanding ourselves more clearly is
through spirituality. You can get to know yourself better than you’ve
ever known yourself by spending ten minutes into your mindset.
Spirituality is such an expressive word. Just saying it scares off a lot of
people. Spirituality has the same mental magnitude as the term religion.
Both happen to scare off a lot of people, especially in the modern day,
where religion doesn't have the same positive meaning as it used to.
Although your perception of spirituality may be similar to your beliefs of
religion, spirituality is quite a bit different. Both allow the practicer to
find a deeper meaning. Both are taught through fundamental practises
lead by great achievers. The most important difference is that it isn't
dictated by only one individual perspective.
Spirituality encompasses many additional fundamentals that can’t be
found in traditional religion. You don’t need to physically visit a place of
worship to tap into your spirituality. You can tap into your spiritual side
through reading, exercise, or by just sitting there. You can do it from

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36
your own home. One of the most appealing aspects is that you can
incorporate a multitude of various religious practises into the mix. You
can pick-and-choose which ones reflect your beliefs the most. You can
create your own religion mixed with a variety of different religions. It
really all comes down to finding the practices that incorporate a higher
feeling of inner peace.
Finding a need for spirituality is the first step in understanding yourself.
You will never know what you’re looking for until you find out. When
the student is ready to learn the teacher will be there. There are so
many different analogies that can explain this important concept. The
truth is; you need to want to learn about yourself in order to actually do
it. Without the desire to make it happen it's simply will not be
accomplished.
When the master of his life finds his passionate side he is fulfilled. There
isn't a more powerful feeling in this world than when an individual finds
what he's looking for. Not skydiving nor bungee jumping or anything in
between. Not even the most extreme sport can give us the exact same
feeling. The true heightened awareness of one's individual meaning is
the most valuable possession he can attain. When he does find what he
is looking for he’ll realize that he had it all within himself the entire
time.
It doesn't matter how deep you jump into the rabbit hole. When you get
to know yourself you’ll understand that happiness resides in your mind
every single moment in time. The only thing taking away from your
individual happiness is your own mindset. Yes, our minds have been

37
tainted throughout the years. We’ve been programmed to look for
happiness in department stores and through succumbing to hordes of
materialistic things. Commercials on your television set constantly tell
you that happiness will run through your veins when you swipe your
credit card. This couldn't be further from the truth. Happiness resides
inside of you already. You just need to find it.
It's written in thousands of books and relayed by all the greats who ever
became; happiness is all a part of your imagination. There will always be
pessimistic people who doubt these beliefs. They will persuade you to
doubt yourself about it too. Happiness is a reaction to the experiences
you attract. It doesn't come from anything anyone can give you. You are
the master of its domain.
Finding yourself is really the only way you will understand what you are
looking for. The catch 22 part of it all is that finding yourself is an
ongoing process. We are constantly changing our minds towards what
we believe or feel we need at any given time. Our minds are swayed
back-and-forth almost on a daily basis. We are often persuaded by
other people to look in the opposite direction. Our coworkers, friends,
and people in our own families, they persuade us to believe otherwise.
We allow these people to affect the way we see ourselves. This only
brings us back to square one. It brings us to think we aren't as good as
what we thought we were once. We then give up on ourselves.
You are only going to be a better person if you start believing in
yourself. You can make this happen by tapping into your spiritual self.
By taking a few minutes daily you can truly get to know yourself. Doing

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38
this will not only teach you what you want, but it'll allow you to reflect
on the things you know you don't really want.
“You have within you right now
everything you need to overcome what
the universe throws at you.”

39
Chapter Six – Risk factor
More and more people these days are resorting to less formal
educational applications in pursuit of their career search. Fewer are
delving into the traditional post-secondary portion of their education to
find what they’re looking for. This equates to the vast array of new-age
alternatives in the realm of possibilities. Yes, education is highly
important in the realm of achievement but the countless amount of
billionaire drop-outs have proven the theory that formal education isn't
pertinent to achieve success. Plus, the new-age millennial have enlisted
a plethora of new online practices that have dominated and literally
revolutionized the way we do business. No longer do you need a
doctorate to achieve high realms of financial opportunities. Besides,
often times there isn't a traditional form of education offered in the
education system for many of these modern careers.
Now, this isn't equating the obvious benefits that traditional education
provides. The Public, Catholic, even the private sector of formal
education offers many great benefits to anyone who enlists themselves.
This includes a variety of different factors. Our education system helps
to define a healthy attitude. It promotes healthy lifestyles and informs
its students about the history of our nation. Although, the information
may not always add up, at least it encourages us to delve deeper into
the meaning of life.

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What the education system does not offer is a qualified information
outlet to find ourselves. It doesn’t inform us of what's truly important in
life. Many people are finding these days that they need to search
outside of conventional education because times have changed; the
way we work isn't like it was 25 years ago. In fact, a lot of the education
we are used to relying on is outdated and isn't even applied in today's
regime. That's why educating yourself through other additional outlets
is the most solid approach towards finding your happiness.
Regardless of which education model you follow in pursuit of your
dreams, true long-lasting happiness comes with a little risk taking. It
comes through taking action. Although it comes through a refined way
of thinking, and a steady and committed approach, the risk is another
important characteristic in the spectrum of achievement. Nothing great
has ever been achieved without incorporating a fine level of risk.
As you look back at all of your accomplishments you will see that every
one of them required a certain amount of risk on your end in order to
be achieved. The same goes with each of our role models. Neither of
their accomplishments could've been transpired without enlisting
themselves into risky situations that required them to step out of their
comfort zone. This is something that every great achiever has in
common.
An individual may embark himself on a mission to be a professional
skateboarder. He has already witnessed his own talents early in life and
invested himself in a heavy pursuit towards making it all happen. He has
practiced behind the scenes literally every day, going to skate parks and

41
learning all the fundamentals of the physical sport. He becomes a
master at the art. He has reached the highest pinnacle at the skate park,
getting rave reviews from the other patrons, but he's still ways away
from accomplishing his ideal model of success; to become a
professional. If he wants to pursue the status of a professional he must
embark on a much riskier playing field. He must incorporate his
initiatives into local competitions to get noticed by the professionals
first before he will even come close to bringing his goal to fruition. He
must take action and succumb to stepping out of his comfort zone
otherwise he will always only be an attraction of the skate park.
Every step we take in life requires a certain amount of risk. We could get
hit by a bus simply by crossing the street. We could get struck by
lightning while playing a sport outside or by jumping in the puddles of
our enjoyment. We could fall victim to many unfortunate incidences
that lead us to become immobile and inefficient. There are a variety of
outside forces that make every footstep we take risky. This in itself can
be looked at as a positive thing. It means that risk is inevitable. We all go
through it daily regardless of how much we rebel against it. If we were
to use this very factor as motivation towards our initiatives we would
excel beyond our wildest dreams, yet we continue to doubt ourselves
because of our low self-image.
The risk is a part of every great and worthwhile experience. It's the very
beginning of every fulfilling relationship. If we hadn't had enlisted
ourselves in the realm of a risky situation that took us out of our
comfort zone before we introduced ourselves we wouldn't have

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42
generated even a slight possibility of friendship. If we hadn't gone
against our fears and placed our name on the list of athletics we
wouldn't have scored the game-winning goal. If we hadn't tried out for
the drama club In the first place we wouldn't have made more than a
decent living doing something enjoyable. The risk is a part of our
everyday experiences. The quicker you can adapt to it the quicker you
can become happier.
The best and most honourable thing an individual can do for themselves
is to take many risks. Often times, we don’t understand what we truly
want in life until we fail many times. Risk brings experience. It also
brings failure. No great achiever has ever amounted to anything without
asserting themselves through risk-taking. Yes, they failed many times
along their journey to success, however, if they hadn’t have taken the
risk in the first place they wouldn’t be where they are today. It’s our
experiences that teach us what we wish for, yet it’s the risks within
these experiences that lead us to the initial experiences in the first
place. Risk and experience go hand-in-hand. When you take many risks
you gain more valuable experiences. You will fail many times as well
however it’s the lessons within these failures that ultimately lead to a
better understanding of ourselves. Unfortunately, very few people enlist
a heavy platform of risk-taking because they fear what will happen if
they fail, or because they fear stepping out of their comfort zone. The
best way to gain a true perspective of the risk ahead of you is to
calculate its success beforehand.

43
A calculated risk is just as it sounds. It's taking into account all the
limiting factors that encourage and discourage the action and then
applying them to your overall initiative. Things to consider in the realm;
how expensive is this going to be? How long is it going to take me? Who
do I know that can help introduce me to the industry/Sport? What’s the
worst that can happen? All of these questions will help you generate a
clear perspective of what lies ahead of you. Obviously, if you calculate a
risk and you realize it’s going to lead you into a disastrous state of
paranoia, or if it is clearly not within your budget, or if you believe it’ll
only set you back, in the end, you will second-guess it and perhaps just
forget it altogether. Then you’ll most likely go back to doing what you
were doing before you questioned it. Some will fight every ounce of
their fears not to force themselves out of their comfort zone. Some
people are extremely introverted and fear the risk because it means
they will need to interact with other people. Although we may not be
able to fully understand all limiting factors within each situation, there
are a variety of questions you can ask yourself that will lead you to
determine whether a risk is rich or if it is too risky. Even if you can’t
quite come to terms with your calculation, if it serves a purpose in your
heart then just go for it.
Yes, risk equals reward but it also leads to failure and mistakes. This is
something that cannot be overlooked. The more risk you take can lead
to more rewarding experiences but it also means you'll succumb to
making more mistakes along the way. Generally said, "If you make a
mistake make a big one because you'll learn so many more things from

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it." Yes, taking risks will take you out of your comfort zone, but that's
exactly where you do your best.
Your comfort zone is where complacency resides and where experience
is halted. Bask in the glory every time you get the opportunity to step
outside of your comfort zone. Life is monotonous at times. It can be
boring and tedious as well. This is one of the best times to initiate
yourself on a journey down a path you've never been. All too often we
fall complacent in our footsteps because we don't find a need to try
anything different. We get comfortable and forget that there are so
many things we could be focussing on that'll generate happiness, yet we
continue our pursuit aimed at the mistakes we’ve made along the way.
This only dwindles our confidence in ourselves.
There are lessons learned from every situation we go through. Life isn't
only filled with the pleasant things. We get bombarded every day with
annoyances form our co-workers, our friends, peers at school and our
family members. There are plenty of disappointing factors that surround
us every day, but that doesn't mean we need to tune our beliefs
towards all the negative nonsense. Each of us has every right to take the
risk in the first place because if you didn’t, who knows where you’ll
actually end up?
Often times, we don't understand what we want because we haven't
quite experienced enough. We get bombarded by our parent's in our
youth to try and understand ourselves, but they forget that we haven't
experienced anything remotely close to what we are forced to enlisted

45
ourselves towards. The risk is truly the only way we can unleash our
passions and understand what we truly want in life.
Take many risks, my friend. Enjoy the journey when taking them. It's
truly the pursuit that is the underlining factor of your happiness.

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“Talk to yourself as though you would
someone you love.”

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Chapter Seven – Visualizing your ideals
Life is a software program that mathematically equates every aspect of
our lives. There is an algorithm for it actually. It operates almost exactly
the same way as Google does; the largest online search engine. This
means that our minds are put together in almost the exact same way as
a software platform. If you type in a request on a keyboard for a specific
website Google will provide hundreds of thousands of different options
for you, starting with the websites that reflect the closest to the
keywords you typed. Life's algorithm works in the exact same way. In
fact, Google's engineers copied this platform from just living everyday
life. Your mind in software terms equates the thoughts you've been
thinking about into actual physical situations. The problem with this is;
when you do think in positive terms and the next day you think
negatively. Each of these thoughts is intertwined with the overall
spectrum of your happiness.
The universe doesn't know whether your mind is in line with your ideal
lifestyle at any given time. It just projects congruent realities to the
thoughts you process. This is why it is immensely important to think in
positive terms in line with your ideal future.
There is no possible way you can know what you want without first
experiencing it. This doesn't mean you need to physically experience it,
it means that you need to mentally experience it.

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No defined goal can be accomplished without first seeing it in one's
mindset. Without a clearly defined image of what you wish to
accomplish, there's no possible way of achieving it. This part mixes into
the law of attraction. Nothing of any great worth can ever come to you
without first imagining it. This can be done by projecting the success of
the action in your mind before it even happens.
There are plenty of ways to achieve what you want simply by applying
your everyday thoughts towards what you wish for. It’s important to
understand how powerful your own individual thoughts are. When you
realize the magnitude of them, you’ll realize that you are fully capable
of unleashing an entirely different reality through them.
You can start with aligning a healthier self-image. When you start seeing
yourself in a more positive reflection you'll start to see a happier
outside reality. When you've mastered your own reflection and your
confidence is at an optimal state you can unleash so many more
opportunities you never even thought were possible. Boosting your
confidence is a pertinent part of it all. Confidence operating less than
optimal will only drive further frustration towards your pursuit. It all
starts with visualizing a healthier self-image, and by saying more
positive things about yourself.
Understanding what you want in life can be a tricky thing. As mentioned
before, there are so many variables in the realm when it comes to
aligning our happiness. It's like trying to generate foresight towards
something you've never experienced before. We can only generate
judgements about any given subject based on what others have

49
experienced, or if we experience it ourselves. The other, easier way to
experience it, without any discrimination is to visualize it in your own
mindset.
Obviously, life wouldn't be that fun if we only experienced happiness
through everyone else's eyes. Sadly, this is the reality for most of
humanity. Due to lack of experience, nearly 95% of the entire
population never fulfils their own happiness. Only 5% of the world’s
population has actually flown in an airplane before. This means that
very few people in the overall perspective have actually seen and
witnessed what is like to experience flight at 30,000 feet above sea
level. Even though we are free to roam the websites online that give us
a graphic generalization towards the experience, it’ll never be as
satisfying as if you were to actually experience it yourself. It's been said
many times before that a picture cannot do an experience the justice
that is deserved. A man is never satisfied until he finds his own purpose.
This can be found through trying different things, through taking risks
and just going for it. If it cannot be experienced now it’s highly
recommended to visualize it in your own mindset first.
Your self-image can be your best friend or your biggest deterrent when
it comes to thinking ideal thoughts towards your happiness. When you
master this you'll be amazed how many coincidences equate to your
successes. The universe provides exactly what you ask of it, but the end
result of what we receive is the aftermath of all the mixed positive and
negativity that we've inflicted upon our mindset.

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A healthy self-image will allow you to align thoughts more congruent
towards your ideal happiness. It’ll allow you to generate a higher
frequency to operate on. This will ultimately serve you way more
interesting opportunities. You don’t need to focus on all the negative
things that are present in your life. You are in charge of what you bring
to your mind. You are also in charge of the type of energy you expel.
Being an optimal thinker goes well beyond getting to know yourself. It
incorporates the level of energy in which you expel into the
environment. There’s no use in operating in a negative mood. Some
people harness a negative mindset from the time they wake up till the
time they go to sleep at night. This serves them nothing but further
negativity. There’s no need to debate things with other people till you
are blue in the face. It only generates more negativity from others.
Arguments will only bring you to becoming a rather negative person as
well. This is why it’s so important to equate more positivity into your
life. Goals, dreams, and aspirations can only be accomplished when in
control of a positive mindset.
It is our own individual responsibility to do our best to be our very best
selves. It doesn't matter how great of a positive thinker you are if your
daily actions are negative you're only going to reap further negativity.
Remember, the universe provides for you exactly what you ask of it. It
doesn’t matter how positive your thoughts are if your actions don’t
match and they are in line with negative qualities you're only going to
receive negative qualities thereafter.

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Our actions are a direct reflection of the way we perceive ourselves and
reality around us. If we are always doing negative things this means
we've generated a negative image towards ourselves.
If your actions have been in line with negative outcomes this means that
you have been operating at a frequency well below what you're capable
of. Yes, our influences help us determine our initiatives but they also
persuade us to think otherwise. Often times, the easiest way to see why
our actions are out of line from our ideal happiness is by taking a look at
our associations. Who have you been hanging around with lately? Are
they serving you the type of support a true friend does?
Aside from the outside influence, we receive on the daily, the only way
you can control your outcome is through the thoughts you incorporate
into your mindset. You can achieve abundant ongoing positive thinking
by visualizing what you wish to have happened. Every night you go to
sleep and every morning you awake you can force more positive
thoughts into your mind. This will encourage your actions to be on par
with a congruent happiness.
Imagine what you wish to have happened on a daily basis. Place an
image in your mind, in great detail, of what you want to experience.
When you're looking at tomorrow, ask yourself, “What are the things I
wish to accomplish?” Which things are important and which ones aren't
as much? Which ones can wait, and which ones can’t you wait to start?
When focusing on the things that are pertinent to ideal living you will
soon come to realize that your thoughts truly become things.

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Imagine your ideal fantasies actually happening right in front of you.
Imagine yourself already a part of the very experience. Imagine it in as
much detail as you can because the more realistic it looks in your
mindset the more possible it becomes in your lifestyle. The more in-
depth you delve into the practice the closer you will be to actually
having it in your possession. This is by far the simplest way to unleash
your most imaginative vision of ideal happiness.

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“Your value doesn't decrease based on
somebody's ability to see your self-
worth.”

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Chapter Eight–Appreciating what you already have
The easiest way to put a smile on your face is to look within yourself.
When you look at your more spiritual side you will soon see many great
things you’ve already acquire or achieved. Things you can be grateful
for. There are so many things in your life that you can appreciate.
Perhaps you have already achieved many great things that other people
haven't yet. Maybe you’ve helped mentor somebody who’s now living
their dreams. Or, maybe you’re proud of yourself for spending more
quality time with your children, more so than your friends were able to.
There are plenty of things that each of us have already done or acquired
in this life that we can be grateful for. Without them, we wouldn't feel
nearly as complete as we are today.
Being grateful for one's life is the easiest way to increase their positive
outlook. It only takes a simple conversation with yourself to see where
your happiness was and where it was taken away. We find happiness in
the things we are grateful for. We wouldn’t have done them if they
didn’t serve a smile on our face in the first place. When you jot down
what you are grateful for it’ll allow you to tap into your imagination.
Getting a clear perspective of your accomplishments will enable you to
see how many things you’ve already acquired; things that many people
only dream of achieving. Seeing this will transpire a whole new and
different belief system. There’s no easier way to appreciate your life
than looking at all the things you have when others have to do without.

55
If you cannot find any accomplishments to be grateful for, be sure to be
grateful for the things you have but other people don’t. All in all, be
grateful for your life.
We often took for granted the things we used to be proud of. We
overlook them because we've already generated a feeling of worth
before when we achieved them. We no longer feel the sense of pride
from those achievements because they are long gone in the backburner.
This way of thinking will only lead you to feel defeated. Our simplest
accomplishments are meant to serve us happiness for eternity. Why
would we work towards achievement so much if it didn’t? You should
bask in the glory of all of your previous accomplishments. Use them as
leverage to equate a healthier perspective of yourself. They were
accomplished for a reason; to serve you happiness. There’s no shame in
being proud of what you’ve done in the past.
All the negativity we have gone through has generated an unhealthy
belief system. We’ve been taken advantage of by other people. I’m sure
you can’t even count how many times you were wronged. The
negativity in our lives outweighs the positive things, and we regret to
say it, but we only focus on the negative things. This ultimately sends
our lives into a downward spiral of negativity.
Being grateful is a simple practice that anyone can implement. There are
plenty of factors that can help you generate a feeling of gratefulness.
Think of all the times where you were congratulated for your actions.
Think of the instances where other people were proud to know you.
Think of all the times when you sent a heart-warming expression

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56
towards another person where it resulted in putting a smile on their
face. These are all things to be grateful for. Even if you haven’t achieved
much in our life up to date, there are plenty of opportunities ahead of
you that will allow you to achieve many great things. You; the director
of it all need to understand that even you are grateful.
How many friends of yours would say they are happy to be your friend?
Do you have all the necessities for an optimal living; food on the table
and a roof over your head? Do you have two hands, two feet, and a
head that is capable of thinking? Then, you have everything you need to
be grateful for. Now it's time to start living.
Writing down your thoughts will allow you to continue your feeling of
gratefulness. A written note allows you to glance at it again when you’re
feeling down. In fact, one of the other great practices is to paste your
grateful written note on your bathroom mirror. This way you will see it
every day you awake and brush your teeth.
When we are used to doing something for so long it just becomes a part
of our habitual thinking. Our habits are a reflection of the way we see
ourselves. Often times, the majority of our habits no longer serve us in
positive terms anymore. Because they've been a part of our everyday
thoughts for so long, it's tough to interlace a new way of thinking.
Although it isn't impossible to completely change your entire outlook of
reality, there are some simple practises that you can implement into
your own life today that'll allow you to incorporate new positive values
one by one. You can do this by simply writing down your thoughts.

57
Write a list of all the things you are grateful for today. Be sure to include
all the commonly overlooked aspects of your relationships, the
opportunities around you, and your family. The simple act of writing it
down will instantly allow you to tap into your imagination. Your
imagination tells you what will make you happy. I think you get the idea.
If you were to be asked this question, "What are you grateful for?" and
you didn't have a pad of paper and a pen you wouldn't be able to
remember them.
There's no better feeling than waking up and instantly feeling grateful
for your life. The sad fact is that nearly 95% of the world’s population
don't see it this way. From the overall generalized perspective of
happiness, very few people are able to generate a long-lasting sense of
it. You can drastically improve your happiness by simply tapping into
what you are grateful for.
Now I must bring your attention towards another important aspect of
the realm; your commitment.

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58
“Stop doubting yourself, work hard and
make it happen!”

59
Chapter Nine – Taking advantage of the
opportunities
It doesn't matter how vast your imagination is, if you don't harness a
healthy self-image, there's very little chance you'll be determined
enough to take on the tasks needed to accomplish your goals.
Obviously, taking action is a very important fundamental in achieving
anything. The truth is; our pursuit is only as efficient as our confidence.
The more confident you are as an individual the more probability in
achieving what you desire. You can see that, once again, it all boils down
to perspective; how you see yourself and reality.
There have been plenty of very talented individuals who have never
experienced the level of success that some of their predecessors have
achieved. This equates both lack of a healthy self-image and lack of
devotion towards their goal. Those who reach out and share their
ambitions toward society are those who fulfill their true ultimate
desires. Those who continue to ride the wave of their previous
accomplishments are those who regret their actions later in life because
they didn’t strive towards the next level of accomplishment.
There’s nothing wrong with looking back at an accomplishment as a
means of positive reflection, but there are too many other
accomplishments out there waiting for you to take advantage of them.
When you are reflecting upon your previous achievements be sure to

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60
take into consideration all the things that didn’t go as you planned too.
This will help you calculate the all the unforeseen events that may
happen along the way. Although you can never equate all the possible
outcomes when calculating a risk, you can always use your past
experiences as a judgement on the amount of energy that’ll need to be
applied to the situation.
You can’t always foresee the challenges we face before they happen.
But, that doesn't mean you need to quit when they persist. There are so
many people out there just as talented as you are. In fact, they may
even harness a few other unique characteristics that put their threshold
of talent higher than your own. But, if they don't take action and they
don't project their talents to the rest of society, there’s a better chance
that you will be the one to become famous simply by just taking action.
Opportunities surround our everyday footsteps. They do so because we
ask for them. But, often times, we've already given up on ourselves
before they come into our lives. And, when they finally do come to us,
we are no longer looking for that exact same type of happiness. It's a
never-ending cycle sometimes. It plays with our minds in so many ways.
Yes, you are going to be brought down more than one time. You will
face adversity over and over again, especially if you are aggressive in
your approach to life. You will try to implement ideas that are instantly
rejected, only to see them implemented by other people who claim
their initiative. You will face so many obstacles that you can barely
count them, but always remember that you are the one that determines
what type of material you download into your mind.

61
You don't need to let any tragic incident affect your mindset before you
take initiative. The rewards from just taking the first step surely will
outweigh any of the adversity you stand against.
A boy is told from the day he is born to amount to something despite his
challenges. He is challenged throughout his entire life; by other people,
by himself. The problem is; his challenges are mental. They aren’t even
considered to be a challenge. What everybody else doesn’t know is that
his inner challenges about himself are more difficult to overcome than
most. He was programmed by his parents from the very beginning that
he wasn’t ever good enough. He went his entire life without affection.
He was rejected by almost every one of his friends. Yet, as the boy grew
to become a man he overcomes all of the challenges he used to face
simply because he changed his own mind to adapt to a healthier
perspective. This boy was capable just like the rest. All because he had
control of his own mindset.
Each of these characteristics explained in this book are meant to be
intertwined with each other and to be maintained over a long period of
time. Doing so will help you generate insurmountable results.
We will never become better people unless we initiate ourselves onto a
healthier playing field. We need to, first of all, believe in ourselves. We
need to take in the positivity from our surroundings and utilize it to
build upon our mental capacity. Too many human beings succumb to
the negativity in their lives. They let it dwindle down their passion
towards their truly most important things in life. Unless you dedicate

Kerry Girling
62
yourself to staying determined as an individual to become the best you
can be, you will find it challenging to be happy.
Taking action will increase your confidence tenfold. It'll allow you to tap
into your imagination much further. It'll instil the confidence needed to
overcome any obstacle that stands in your way. That's why it's so
important to take action regardless of which direction you are going.
Everyone you come across (who are satisfied with what they have) will
tell you that they didn't understand what they wanted in life until they
actually experienced it. Experience is one of the biggest parts of the
equation when it comes to finding an ideal career, job or responsibility.
Without action comes zero reward. There are many content individuals
playing video games in their basements, but they haven't yet
understood what happiness is until they step outside and tap into their
imagination. They won’t understand what it’s like to fulfill a physical
goal until they take physical action in some way.
The best thing you can do in your life is to take action. Your
relationships are there in the first place because you went out of our
way, out of our comfort zone, to introduce yourself. If you hadn't have
taken the initiative in the first place then you wouldn't have had the
opportunity to be friends with them. All of the advancements you
received in the business world too simply came to you because of your
need to take charge. You can clearly see that the overachievers became
great in their field simply because they were the ones that took the
most action. They practiced harder than the rest. It's not a secret to see
that the ones who become greater are the ones who stayed later than

63
the rest. They were the ones who tapped into their imagination the
most, and they were the ones who are the most grateful as well. In the
realm of it all, it all comes down to their commitment to themselves.
Each of them had a positive self-image, they practiced positive things
and believed in themselves. Regardless of the situation, or how many
times in life they failed, they overcame every obstacle they came across
because they tuned their mindset towards a more positive way of living.
An ideal situation is when a talented individual sees more within himself
while harnessing a truly dedicated belief in himself. It's when the
majority of his thoughts are in line with his fantasies regardless of the
amount of negativity he goes through. It’s when there are no possible
doubt as to why he blew away the competition simply because he was
the one that took the most action. The ideal situation is when the
person with the talent believes in himself and his driven to stay
determined. It's when he does everything he can in his abilities to
achieve what he sets his mindset too. Optimally, it's when the individual
acts with confidence that he is the very best all the time, yet staying
humble in his description about himself.
Take advantage when the opportunity persists. When you snap out of
your current daydream and focus on a lifestyle more appealing to you,
you may just see that the very opportunity you were interested in has
always been there all along. Often times, we don't find what we are
looking for until we stop reflecting on what we are used to. It’s when we
step outside of our comfort zone and see what other possibilities there

Kerry Girling
64
are out there. When they do happen to arrive at your doorstep be sure
to take advantage of them. They don’t always come very often.
Challenge yourself to be better simply by inviting more positive
thoughts into your mindset. Eliminate all the frustrating emotions you
currently feel by ridding your mindset of all the negative components.
Your overall experience in life will be much more pleasant when you
find yourself in a healthier self-image. The only way you can possibly
accept the delivery of your desire is through adapting your mindset to a
higher frequency; through positive thought.
You can equate better possibilities into your life simply by changing your
outlook towards what you go through. This will ultimately enable a
higher standard of living. Only you can be the one to make it happen
though.
When your life isn’t going anywhere, one of the best things you can do
is quit what you’re doing and replace it with something more appealing.
But, what if I fail, or what if I succeed beyond my wildest dreams? You
will never know until you find out.
A man who enlists himself on a journey to finding himself is the most
selfless act he can do to generate happiness. There are so many positive
aspects that will happen when you spend some time to get to know
yourself. One of the biggest positives is that it'll help you understand
which opportunities are important to grasp onto, and which are merely
a distraction. Your self-refection will tell you all the answer you are
looking for in life.

65
Most human minds see opportunity opposite of how it actually
happens. The bearer of the dreams are usually the ones who wish for it
to happen. But, it's really the opportunities that are looking for a
talented person to fulfill its success. The same amount of people are
looking for opportunities as opportunities are looking for people to
fulfill them. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The opportunity is surely out there. You just need to be ready for it
when it persists. You can be ready for the opportunity simply by
adjusting your thoughts towards it. You can imagine yourself already
achieving it simply by thinking about it in your mindset before it
happens. The more you think about the opportunity the more likely it is
to actually happen for you. The more positive thinking you practice
towards it means the more chances of becoming successful at it. All in
all, an opportunity isn't an opportunity unless it is taken advantage of.

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66
“To be beautiful means to be yourself.
You don't need to be accepted by
others. You need to accept yourself.”

67
Chapter Ten – You are the Director
Regardless of what they say to you, YOU are the one that calls the shots
in your life. Even though you may have over-bearing parents, or you
were abused when you were younger, or you were led to believe that
you were inadequate, you harness every quality to make your own
personal choices. You call the shots because you are the one that directs
the focus of your mind.
Although the people in our surroundings have affected our decisions in
the past, we can relinquish our role as the 'Director of our life' simply by
increasing our self-image.
You can see that each of the components listed in previous chapters are
all a part of the mix. If they aren't aligned properly there's a good
chance your life will fall back into the hands of deceit. The aftermath
has proven that neither of us was actually in charge of our lives before.
We let other outside influences affect our decisions so much that our
lives went out of control. It isn’t until we gain a proper balance of our
self-image, our values, and morals, that we realize how amazing life
really is. Our horizons are lifted when we’re no longer blinded by what
other people say about us.
You can take back the power of your life by striving towards a healthier
perspective of it all. Yes, there are many negative things we can focus
on; war, corruption, even looking into the odd conspiracy theory will
taint your beliefs. But, once again, YOU are in charge of what comes into

Kerry Girling
68
your mindset. You are the Director because it’s YOUR mind that
generates the information.
The words other people say to us can be detrimental to our psyche, yet
we are the one that chooses whether their words affect our
perspective. Yes, there will always be someone who tries to throw you
off your journey to success. He will try and make you think you are
worthless over and over again. It'll, most likely, will happen more than
once. It might even happen more in your adulthood believe it or not.
But, that doesn't mean you need to give up on yourself. You can take
this unfortunate time to reflect upon your past mistakes, and use the
lessons within each experience as leverage to overcome your emotional
attachment to them. When you release your regrets, remorse, anger,
and hostility towards your past you’ll unleash a completely different
realm of opportunity that’ll more than likely fulfill your desires in life.
You will be beaten down more than a few times in your life. It happens
to everyone. You will be blasted by other people; people who don't
even have a meaning in your life. These people will try to make you feel
afraid of reality in almost every single way. Being prepared is the best
thing you can do to overcome the obstacle of the negativity.
You are the director of your life! It’s time to take charge of it.

69
“Happiness isn’t trying or finding, it’s
deciding”

Kerry Girling
70
Chapter Eleven – Building your Karma bank
Life is similar to a board game in so many ways. Just like monopoly or a
game of chess, it's the choices that you make during the game that
directly reflects your outcome. If you continuously make the right types
of moves with your chess pieces, the chances of succeeding are pretty
good; however, if you don't pay much attention to the choices you're
making, you're going to lose. On a board game, if you make better
choices than your appointment, you're probably going to be quite a bit
further ahead. Karma is no different. It works in the same way.
Another common life similarity to Karma is a bank account. Most of us
have one. The amount of money that you have in it, at any given time, is
based on your choices and the types of purchases you made. If you
spent too much money, your bank account will be in the overdraft.
Karma is no different. For every positive thing that you do for someone
else or society, your account will rise but for every negative thing that
you do your Karma account will decrease in size. We need to constantly
build our positive karma bank accounts and keep them out of the
overdraft. When your Karma bank account is in the overdraft, it
instantly sends negativity your way. By committing ourselves to doing
more good deeds for others our positive Karma will grow. All of your
actions and decisions are accounted in your bank of Karma. You can
easily increase your Karma through random acts of kindness.

71
“Living in the future is as detrimental to
your lifestyle as living in the past. Only
when one can live in the current
moment will you find yourself.”

Kerry Girling
72
Chapter Twelve – The origin of your beliefs
Our beliefs are derived from our past experiences. Each of us goes
through different experiences in life which means that our own
individual beliefs are unique to ourselves. No other human being has
the exact same beliefs to the exact same degree. In fact, each
experience in life potentially alters our perceptions of the way we see
reality. When we go through negative experiences, it automatically
alters the lens we see the world through. This lens can become quite
tainted with impurities over a period of time. These impurities force us
to become anxious with ourselves, frustrated with life, and actually
strengthen and become more forceful within your mind over the years.
This creates nasty mental problems and disables us to live life to its
fullest. It also prevents us from achieving happiness in any form and
grounds us from attaining the goals and ambitions that serve our minds.
It’s important to locate these impurities as soon as possible so you can
proactively work towards eliminating them altogether. Once eliminated,
new positive beliefs can be formed.
Many of the beliefs we harness as adults were formed in the first stages
of our lives. Our parents, Grandparents, friends and siblings, Aunts and
Uncles, and a variety of other influences contributed to the formation of
our early beliefs. When we come into the world as children, we know no
different. Until we reach an age where we realize we can modify our
own beliefs, we simply latch onto the beliefs of our everyday influences.

73
Many of us harness the same types of beliefs as our parents because
they were our biggest influences in our lives. Many times, these beliefs
strengthen as we grow older because we haven’t latched onto any new
beliefs. There’s a whole world of different beliefs to be explored. The
problem with the beliefs that we’ve gathered throughout our lives is
that they can be detrimental to our minds if negative in form.
Most of our beliefs during childhood and early adolescence are in line
with our closest influences. For example: many of our current fears are
similar fears that our parents had. We’ve simply gravitated towards
their fears and grew our own fears around them. Over the years, we’ve
literally become our influences. We’ve been moulded to repeat similar
actions as they did, and we’ve even been guided along a similar life path
too. In fact, it isn’t uncommon for a child to follow similar roles in the
workplace as their parents. It’s what they’ve been accustomed to, and
our parents know no different because that’s what they’re used to. In
fact, anger, hatred, abuse and many other damaging emotions are also
taught by our superiors. We absorb a lot more beliefs and information
from our parents than the average person would realize. The good news
is that you need no longer be consumed by any limitations, any hurtful
emotions or any self-defeating beliefs that you’ve learned in the past.
Each of us has the power within to replace the negative traits and
beliefs that we’ve latched onto throughout our lives. It comes with
practice.
There are literally hundreds of different labels, beliefs and emotional
attachments that we’ve absorbed throughout our lives form our closest

Kerry Girling
74
influences. Even though genetics can play a huge role in the growth of
human characteristics, your mind is singly controlled by you and nobody
else. This means that you control what type of information encrypts
your mindset.
Throughout the years, we’ve become seasoned to believe that we’re
not good enough to achieve our desires. This was simply brought on by
factors relating to failure, mistakes, and abuse within our lives. Other
factors contribute to this; however, the painful memories of early
childhood experiences still seem to bring up feelings of dissatisfaction.
As mentioned, our beliefs are derived from the beliefs of others. It’s
important to grasp onto the beliefs that suit your lifestyle. Everyone is
unique in their own way. We all have different desires in life. It’s
important to gravitate towards the beliefs that support your desires.
You aren’t your past! There’s no reason to hold onto any ill or negative
beliefs at all. Ill beliefs simply create a false sense of who you are and
act as a barrier between ourselves and our goals in life. They rape us
from any type of satisfaction.
In a classroom, if someone is told that they aren’t as smart as their
classmates, they may live their entire life believing this statement. They
will, most likely, continue devaluing themselves throughout their entire
life, even down the road when they enter their first and second careers.
This belief will reside in their mind forever and will strengthen over time
until they acknowledge its fiction and release it all together. This person
will continue believing these limiting beliefs until they’re grown adults,
or until they replace their negative belief with a more positive one. This

75
type of belief could alter their perception of the way he or she sees the
world and could bring a very bleak perspective of what actually is. They
will simply wake up each day in fear of not being as good as others.
These problems would, most likely, transfer into the workplace in
adulthood. If these limiting beliefs are continued, he or she will always
feel insignificant amongst their coworkers, even though there’s no proof
that they’re less superior.
Remember, this all stemmed from ill beliefs that were formed when this
person was a child. In fact, some people never rid themselves of their
negative limiting beliefs. They constantly fight against their own daily
thoughts trying to find happiness, but happiness is the furthest place to
them because they’ve lost belief in themselves. Until they disable their
limiting beliefs, they will continue to live in mediocrity and shame. Until
they grasp onto new positive beliefs – beliefs that empower them and
make them feel confident, their lives will be forced in a continuous
negative downward spiral.
When we reflect upon the origin of our beliefs, we realize that not only
did our beliefs derive from our influences (our parents, friends, peer
groups and the like); they’re also compiled from other various mental
influences like television, radio, billboards and other advertisements in
our paths. Studies have shown that the average person is prone to
literally thousands of advertisements per day. These advertisements are
filled with mental garbage that promises satisfaction and contentment
upon purchasing their products. People seeing these advertisements are
sold on the fact that they will feel happier, content and less stressed

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