1. Karaoke Night Killers
Who doesn’t love karaoke
night? Some people love to get up
and belt out their favorite tunes,
while others enjoy offering moral
support to their friends or
listening to the oftentimes
hilarious renditions of popular
music.
Whether or not you choose to
reveal your singing abilities to a
room full of drunken strangers,
karaoke night is always a fun
time with a good crowd.
However, there are always those
few people who just don’t quite
get it, and unknowingly try to
spoil the fun.
This is a list of what you
should avoid to keep from being
a Karaoke Night Killer…

2. Love Shack If you walked into your neighborhood
karaoke night ten minutes ago, there’s a
great chance that you’ve already heard
someone sing this song. Most likely some
girl in her early 20’s who, “like, totally loves
this song because they play it at 80’s night”,
and a guy who vaguely remembers hearing
the song while waiting in line for a roller
coaster and is really only doing this in an
effort to get into the girl’s pants at the end
of the night.
Here’s how it goes: Girl screams at the top
of her lungs while guy sings in a monotone
voice while struggling to keep up with the
lyrics on the monitor. Everyone cheers when
they’re done, because hopefully the DJ won’t
let anyone else sing this for the rest of the
night.

3. Sarah McLachlan
We get it. You’re sad and alone, and you
want the entire world to sympathize. Just
one problem….nobody cares!
Karaoke is meant for fun. Listening to
someone sobbing depressing songs into the
microphone isn’t fun. If you don’t want to
be a mega mood killer, try to avoid singing
anything slower than a love song.

4. Bohemian Rhapsody
The DJ calls two names, but
eight people end up on the stage.
One person valiantly tries to
give a good effort at a difficult
song, while the other seven share
two mics and yell the lyrics in
each other’s faces until everyone
starts head banging, and the
whole thing turns into a giant
drunken mess.
Sound familiar?

5. Paradise by the
Dashboard Light
See: Love Shack.
On top of being way too long for a karaoke
song, this song is entirely overdone and
more difficult than you realize.

6. Evanescence
More specifically, “Wake Me Up Inside”.
This song is terrible, and if you sing this
song you’re terrible for subjecting the rest of
us to it. This song is inevitably sung by
someone with a name like “CiCi” who
severely overestimates their vocal ability.
The end result is something that sounds
more like a cat in heat than anything that
could pass for music.
If you’re about to hand the DJ a slip with
this song written on it, turn around and
burn the slip. No one will thank you for it,
but you’ll be doing everyone a huge favor.

7. Before He Cheats
“Hi. I’m an angry vindictive
bitch, and I plan on going
home alone tonight. Please
don’t talk to me.” , is what
you may as well be saying if
you sing this song.
Note: This may not apply if
you actually look or sound
like Carrie Underwood.

8. DJ’s Greatest Hits
Finally, there is arguably
the worst karaoke faux pas,
and there’s nothing you can
do to avoid it.
Every karaoke DJ has a song
or two up their sleeve, and
they’re usually pretty decent.
Sometimes, though, you’re
waiting hours for your name
to be called, and it seems like
the DJ is putting on a one
man show. Come on, DJ, you
should know better!

9. Thanks for taking the time
to read my guide on how to
avoid killing karaoke night.
I hope you learned something.
Keep rocking!