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Week 05 Posting - Reports.docx
COMM 310: Posting for Week 5—Reports
Don’t forget that the User Guide CMAPP Analysis
assignment—a Group assignment—is due
this week. That means that I should receive one assignment file
from each group.
Reports—An Overview
I’m going to presume that you’ve read Chapter 11 of
Engineering Communication. As it points
out, no one ever gets up in the morning and says, “You know…
I think I want to write a
report, today!” You write a report for one reason only: someone
(almost always a single
individual) has asked for it. And, in CMAPP terms, the person
who has asked you for the
report is almost always going to be your primary audience.
You’ll recall that, generally speaking, we can discern two broad
categories of reports:
You’ll likewise recall that the terms short and long no longer
refer simply to length. In fact, a
long short report may be longer than a short long report. And,
as I’ll remind you shortly (excuse
the pun!), the distinction relates more to the reports’ structural
conventions.
I cannot imagine your being able to pursue a professional career
without writing reports. The
kinds of reports you will need to produce will depend, of
course, on the kind of work you
do. It’s likely that very few of you will need to create
long/formal reports. Although many
people in an organization often contribute information towards
a long report—a company’s
Annual Report to Shareholders, for example—relatively few
actually take part in writing it.
Almost certainly, though, you’ll have write a variety of
short/informal reports. Consequently,
this course focuses much more on those.
I would also recommend to you the (Word 2003) file (available
on April 24, 2014, from
http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo
tes_sp10.doc), BEIT 336
Business Report Writing Study Notes by Sandra J. Nelson of
the School of Business at Indiana
State University. Admittedly, the document is lengthy—over 60
pages. Nonetheless, her
advice and examples are informative and worthwhile.
In this week’s website section, you’ll see two folders that I’ve
posted for you. Reports – General
Information and Sample Reports. Let me allude to the latter,
first, by citing its folder description:
(published by Southwestern), Survivor's
Guide to Technical Writing. As a kind of "source credit", I
include a JPEG scan of that book's
front cover.
the classification of short reports
mentioned on page 154 of Engineering Communication. As I
indicate there, however, I believe
you will be better served by treating each report as a particular
piece of technical
communication, created by applying a CMAPP analysis.
explanatory marginalia. You will find
general information on formal/long reports on pages 157–159 of
your textbook.
http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo
tes_sp10.doc
–2–
Although I think these samples might prove useful to you, I do
caution you against using any
of them as a “template” for your Feasibility Proposal Report or
your Revised Project Plan… or, for
that matter, for the short report you’re likely to have to create
as part of the Midterm for your
Week 7 assignment.
B) Observations re the PowerPoint files
Now, please open Overview of Reports.pptx from the Reports –
General Information folder. I’d
suggest you run it in Slide Show mode; items will appear
consecutively on a mouse click or on
pressing the space bar.
Overall, this file is a review of the material in your textbook.
However, I’d like to offer
additional observations with regard to some of the slides.
1) Slide #2 shows some of the reasons—often more than one,
simultaneously—that
people create reports. For example, I think I’ve already
mentioned that my wife is a nurse
in a local hospital. There, she must regularly complete
“charting” for her patients; in
effect, she creates reports—organized information in response
to an expressed need.
Such a report is necessary for the hospital’s administration
requirements; it helps nurses
and doctors make decisions regarding the patient; it provides
precise information about the
patient and his/her treatment; it facilitates later interpretation of
the patient’s progress, for
example; it assists in meeting the hospital’s responsibility for
legalities; it helps nurses and
doctors in their planning for that patient and for others; it
ensures permanent records of
patient treatments and outcomes; and, it can help in the trend
analysis that nurses, doctors,
and hospital administrators find valuable.
2) Slide #3 refers to points made in Chapter 11 of the textbook.
With regard to the Data >
Information line, remember that many managers actually
complain about being
overwhelmed with data. Part of your job as a report writer is to
convert the data you
obtain into information that will be useful to your audience. In
just a moment, I’ll refer in
more detail to the idea of objectivity. Meanwhile, recall that if
the construction and
presentation of your report (or any piece of technical
communication) are not
professional—showing a clear application of your time, care,
and attention—you audience
will rightly treat it with disdain. My advice—on the right of
that slide—is to conduct a
CMAPP analysis and to apply the complementary attributes.
3) Slide #5 illustrates the alternative “classification” of reports
mentioned in your textbook,
several examples of which you’ll find in the Sample Reports
folder mentioned above.
4) Slide #6 introduces the distinction between informative and
evaluative reports, essentially,
the difference between evaluative content versus informative
content. This often overlooked
distinction is a significant one, derived principally from the
words you choose.
At this point, I’d like to “interrupt” the slide show to discuss a
distinction that, despite its
importance, is often ignored, perhaps because it can be a
difficult one to make.
–3–
C) Evaluative versus Informative Content
1. Short/informal reports, recall, may be either informative or
evaluative. The distinction is
crucial: for example, a client who requests a purely informative
report will be dissatisfied
to receive a report with an evaluative component—an indication
of your opinions, rather
than simply a recounting of 5WH (who, what, when, where,
why, and how).
2. Nonetheless, evaluative reports are certainly more common in
the business world, if for
no other reason than the audience who has requested the report
is likely to want
recommendations—which are evaluative by definition: a
recommendation is, in fact, the
expression of the writer’s opinion of what should be done.
3. Recall, though, that an evaluative report will nonetheless
encompass informative as well
as evaluative components—sometimes “separated”, sometimes
“mingled”. Thus, within
a single report, you might use level heads (sub-headings) to
differentiate one from the
other. Strictly “informative” content might follow headings
such as Background, or
Observations, while level heads such as Analysis or Evaluation
or Recommendations might
introduce evaluative content. Overall, however, it is your choice
of words that determine
whether you are providing evaluative or informative content.
And, normally, the higher
the “connotative value” of your words, the more your content
will be evaluative rather
than informative.
4. Consider, for example, the following references I might make
to Clifford Olson, a well-
known name in BC. (Look him up if you’re not familiar with
his story.)
4.1. Olson is the despicable mass murderer who rightly spent
the last many years of his
miserable life rotting in jail, after having massacred close to a
dozen innocent BC
youngsters during his reign of terror in the early 1980s.
4.2. Olson, is a man who died in 2011 in prison where he had
been serving a life
sentence, having been confessed to multiple counts of homicide
committed during
the 1980s.
5. The first sentence is clearly evaluative: its words give a
strong indication of how I feel
about the man and his crimes. The second, however, is
informative: with low
connotation and high denotation, it merely informs the audience
about Olson. Notice,
also, that the two items cannot be identical: they may refer to
similar issues or they may
deal with analogous topics… but “evaluation” and
“information” cannot be the same.
Neither, however, is better or worse; neither is right or wrong:
they are simply different. The
important thing is to distinguish one from the other, so that you
can provide your
audience what has been requested.
6. Now consider this sentence: University students demand a
higher standard of education for their
hard-earned money. Various aspects make it “evaluative”:
6.1. Unless you can provide data to show that all university
students everywhere have
been consulted, what you appear to mean, in fact, is that you
think that a large number
of them demand… and, by the way, how many, exactly, is a
large number? Further,
demand is a “loaded” word, high in connotation: you’re giving
your opinion of their
–4–
feelings. Next, what does higher standard mean—higher than
what, and assessed
against which/whose criteria? Then, do all students everywhere
earn their own
money? Or, are you really saying that you believe that many
(again, undefined…) do?
And, what about hard-earned? That, too is a personal judgment.
Thus, the sentence is “evaluative” rather than “informative.”
6.2. Consider, though, this sentence: Of the 72 students polled
on campus on January 22, 2014,
55 stated that they were not convinced that they were getting
what they felt would be good value for
their fees. In this case, I am merely reporting on others’
opinions. Thus, the sentence is
“informative” rather than “evaluative”. (I of course made up
the survey…)
I’d like to show you more examples of this; so, please open
Reports – Evaluative versus
Informative Content.pptx, also in the Reports – General
Information folder, and run it in Slide Show
mode. Lines will appear consecutively on mouse clicks or on
pressing the space bar.
a) Slide 2 briefly explains the issues. The remaining slides
contain numbered pairs of
sentences.
b) Unless you’ve already mentioned a precise group of
individuals, the first sentence of
example #1 is evaluative because “everyone” could mean the
entire global
population—obviously not what is intended. Also, “for hours”
would require that
you had timed the wait of every person involved, and every
wait had been of at least
120 minutes. In effect, this sentence likely means something
like, “I really don’t like
how long we have to wait…” There’s nothing wrong with that;
but, it’s evaluative—a
judgment, an opinion—not informative.
Note that the second sentence of the pair simply alludes to a
report—it doesn’t offer
the speaker’s (or writer’s) opinion.
c) In example #2, how is “hard” measured, and what does
“enough” actually mean?
Then, “making us”: does that mean that someone is threatening
you with a gun?
How many items must be in a “collection”—15, 220, 5939?
Pretty obviously, this
sentence expresses anger or disappointment, or dismay; but, it
doesn’t convey
empirical, quantitative information. The second item of the
pair, though, does: it states
what is inscribed on each parking meter.
d) In example #3, what does “nuisance” really mean? It means
that I don’t like it; again,
it’s simply an opinion. The second item of the pair refers to
facts that can be
verified.
e) Example #4’s “outrageous” is patently evaluative; it
expresses a very strong personal
bias. However, the second item of that pair is informative,
because it simply reports
someone else’s opinion. Notice the distinction.
f) Example #5 contains at least six evaluative indicators: great
(how do you measure
that?), suggestion (what is a suggestion but the expression of
an opinion?), sure
(because it states a belief rather than a fact), really (this
emphatic term is a judgment),
help (in the writer’s opinion, of course), and right (once more,
the writer’s opinion).
The information in the second sentence of the pair, however,
can be objectively
verified—through meeting minutes, for example.
–5–
g) I think you’ll be able to deal with examples #6
h) Let’s look at example #9 on slide 5 of 6. Here are the
elements that, I believe, make
it evaluative:
i) Students: which students, where?
ii) can't afford: none of them can, how do you know, where’s
the proof ?
iii) these prices: which, exactly? Any? All?
iv) they rely on student loans: do all students have student
loans? Do all those who do
have student loans have no other means of support?
v) money they earn from their low-paying jobs: do all students
have jobs, do they all have
no other source of income, are all those jobs part time, and how
do you define
“low paying”?
The second sentence of the pair, of course, simply reports on
verifiable figures—
i) I’ll leave you to identify the evaluative content in the other
examples in this file.
In the same folder, you’ll see Reports – Evaluative Content
versus Informative Content Examples.pdf,
which presents some additional examples of “pairs”. If you’re
uncertain, post your queries.
D) Overview of Reports.pptx, continued…
5) The organizational patterns shown on Slide #7 are common,
particularly for informative
reports. They are, in effect, the same “traditional” organization
patterns you might have
learned in high-school for writing essays. The “Segments”
shown there are not headings;
rather, they represent a typical—but not requisite—report
structure. You might have
noticed that the foundation of this tripartite structure is
essentially the same one we use
for most (organized) communication, regardless of the
terminology, e.g., beginning >
middle > end, introduction > body > conclusion. I’m not sure
why this happens
(perhaps someone in the psychology department has a theory?),
but it clearly does.
6) Slide #8 recapitulates the information on pages 156–157 of
your textbook.
7) Slide #9 offers you another example of organizing the
“analysis segment” of an
evaluative report, according to what your audience is likely to
find most useful. Page 156
of Engineering Communication deals with the matter of fees;
this slide considers the renewal
of a fleet of vehicles for a company whose sales staff need to
travel a great deal. Notice:
the Purchasing Department will have to deal with the
complexities of administering the
program, from obtaining bids to arranging for insurance, to
verifying travel allowance
refunds, and so on; thus, they may well prefer to see the
material organized by alternative
(also referred to as option, as in your textbook). However, if
the Finance Department is
your audience, their needs will be different: they’ll have to
consider the impact on this
year’s budget (up-front costs), the effect on budgetary planning
(overhead costs), as well
as pay adjustments, taxes, and benefits (employee reactions).
Thus, they might find it
more useful for you to organize the material by criterion (also
referred to as issue).
–6–
8) Slides #10, #11, and #12 give a very brief summary of
relevant points concerning
long/formal reports. As I mentioned on page 1, though, not
many of us are required to
create one. (I’d nonetheless remind you of Sandra Nelson’s
course document at
http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo
tes_sp10.doc.)
9) Slide #13 is simply a reminder for your Feasibility Proposal
Report, which will be due in
Week 9. Remember that a “proposal” is, by most authorities,
considered a kind of
report, even though it definitely constitutes persuasive
communication, a topic dealt with in
Week 6’s posting.
Well, to paraphrase Woody Woodpecker (a cultural referent that
you can investigate at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Blanc and at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1V121BOm6w), that’s all
Don’t forget that you can post questions and comments to this
week’s Forum and/or email
me directly.
Dave
http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo
tes_sp10.doc
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Blanc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1V121BOm6w
1
Week 4 Posting:
Mechanism (Technical) and Process Description, and
Instructions
Take warning: this week’s posting is a long one… be
prepared…
In the Week 4 area of the Course Website (CW), you will see a
file folder called Week 4 Files. It contains the
files listed below, all of which you will need to examine and/or
use while reading this Week 4 Posting file.
1. Mechanism Description Overview, a PowerPoint file
discussed in the Mechanism (Technical) and Process
Description segment below;
2. Mechanism and Process Description URLs, a PDF file
containing links to relevant websites;
3. Paper Airplane Construction Sheet, a single-page PDF file
that, in the Written Instructions segment of this
posting, you will be asked to print for use;
4. Paper Airplane Instructions, another single-page PDF file for
use (in electronic or paper copy) with the
Paper Airplane Construction sheet;
5. Instructions, a PowerPoint file mentioned in the Written
Instructions segment of this posting file;
6. Written Instructions URLs, a PDF file containing links to
relevant websites;
7. Instructions-Samples, a PDF file referred to in the Written
Instructions segment of this posting file;
8. Instructions-Odd and CYA, a PDF file showing a number of
somewhat bizarre “instructions” found on
commercial products.
I would ask you to open and use these files in the order and
fashion specified in this posting.
A) Mechanism (Technical) and Process Description
While your textbook uses the term Mechanism Description, may
communicators prefer the term Technical
Description. For our purposes, we will consider the terms
synonymous. Further, many authorities consider
process description as a kind of “complement” to technical
description. Nonetheless, the former term is usually
applied to a description of “how something works”, while the
latter is customarily considered a description
of “what something looks like”. Regardless of how—or even
whether—you choose to make the distinction,
it is inevitable that you will be required to produce lucid and
precise descriptions in the workplace.
The factors that will most influence the effectiveness of your
description will be those that determine the
efficacy of your other professional writing—they are the ones
that I refer to as the CMAPP complementary
attributes: accuracy, brevity, clarity, concision, accessibility,
precision, and—perhaps above all—“keep it
simple, stupid”.
You should also remember that you might need mechanism or
process description for a piece of
communication whose primary purpose is any of the four
defined in the CMAPP model: descriptive,
informative, instructive, or persuasive. For example, you might
need a detailed mechanism description of a
piece of equipment to help persuade a potential client to
purchase your company’s product.
In a sense, it’s unimportant what you actually do in COMM 310
this week or even this semester. Probably
quite significant, however, is what you learn to do and/or what
habits you pick up; these should serve you
over the next several decades of your working life.
In this light, I’d like to draw your particular attention to some
of the slides in Mechanism Description
Overview.pptx.
Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and
Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014
2
The last line of Slide #2 is an abbreviated version of a quip
that was popular when I was an undergraduate:
Caution: be sure to put brain into gear before putting mouth into
motion. It is a reminder to think before you act. Before
you begin writing a description–or any other piece of technical
communication, of course, determine who
your audience is and what that audience already knows and
wants and needs to know. Identify your primary
purpose. Suppose you’re “describing” a particular HP DeskJet
printer. Note that (in CMAPP terms) your
“description” might be to support an instructive purpose: you
want your audience to know how to use it or
even how to repair it; your description might fit in with a
persuasive purpose—to convince your audience to
buy a Hewlett Packard rather than a Canon printer, for instance.
Obviously, you’ll have to decide how best to organize your
description. Slide #3 lists a few of the most
common organization patterns. In fact, they’re likely the same
ones you learned in high-school for essay
writing. Notice that to describe a golf course, you might pick a
chronological organization pattern: start at the
first hole and end at the 18th (or, perhaps, at the Clubhouse?);
however, you might instead have chosen a
geographical organization pattern: first, the overview of the
course, then each fairway, then, each green, then the
sand-traps, and so on.
Slides #4 and #5 distinguish different kinds of “precision”.
Your context and your audience will determine
what is “appropriately precise” and what will not work at the
time. Spiral, for example, is in fact a two-
dimensional concept, while helix refers to a three-dimensional
shape. However, although telling a real-estate
agent or a finishing carpenter that you want your house to have
a “helical staircase” might be technically quite
precise, it will be quite incorrect in its context and its audience.
Analogously, if your friend, planning a week’s vacation in the
Kelowna area in late July, asks you what the
weather’s likely to be, you might quite appropriately offer the
vague (but correct for the context and audience),
“it gets extremely hot there in the summer... take a hat and lots
of sun screen.” Your friend would likely be
unhappy with a technically specific answer such as a recitation
of the numbers in the figure below.
Figure 1: Kelowna temperatures
(Source:
http://www.eldoradocountyweather.com/canada/climate2/Kelow
na.html)
Conversely, if you were describing the manufacture of specific
metal alloys, it would be both imprecise and
incorrect to offer something like, “you’ve got to get the stuff
really, really hot”; rather, you’d need something
like, “the aluminum will melt when the temperature reaches
660º Celsius”, which is both precise and correct
for its audience and context.
Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and
Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014
http://www.eldoradocountyweather.com/canada/climate2/Kelow
na.html
3
Note, too, that some “descriptors” can be considered “absolute”
while others are “relative”. The points of
the compass, for example, are absolute, while the directions left
and right are relative—they depend on which way
you are facing. Note, however, that the relative terms become
“absolute” when they follow one of the absolute
terms. For example, if I ask you to walk 50 metres North and
then turn left, the “relative” term left has
become an “absolute”: you will inevitably be walking West.
Is it always appropriate to use absolute terms such as the
compass directions? You should consider what you
know about your audience and, of course, the context.
Consider, for example, my late sister, Anna, a highly
intelligent, graduate-degree-holding, well-respected clinical
therapist. However, she was one of the many
people who, for whatever reason, could never “relate to”
compass directions. (Perhaps that describes you or
someone you know, too.) Furthermore, she was also one of
those people who, regardless of very significant
intellect and education, are somehow unable to quickly relate to
the terms “left” and “right”. For the last
several decades of her life, Anna lived in a West-coast
American city, where I often drove to visit her. Since
she didn’t like to drive, we usually took my car when we went
out, and she would give me directions. Often,
she would say something like, “you’ll be turning left at the next
traffic light.” I would then start to move into
the left-hand lane… and Anna would say, “No—the other left”,
and point to her right. When she had time to
“think about it”, she did, of course, understand left and right…
but she had no instinctive “feel” for them.
Once more alluding to my sister, here is another illustration of
how “vague” might be “appropriately
precise”, depending on audience and context. Years ago, I lived
near a neighbourhood called Ocean Park, part
of the city of Surrey. The first time Anna and her husband
were going to drive up to visit us, she had asked
how to get to our house from the Canada/US border. Imagine
how she would have reacted if I’d told her the
following, for example. “Take the first exit and proceed West-
bound for 8.3 kilometres; then turn North and
proceed 0.7 km, to 49°2’18” N. latitude, 22°9’12” W.
longitude.” Those directions (which I have, in fact,
“falsified” here…) might be technically precise; but, even if
she expected her husband to be driving (and his
sense of direction was actually very good), would, rightly, have
exasperated and annoyed her. She would have
much preferred something like the “vague” but “appropriately
precise” response of, “Take the first exit past
the border and then take the lane marked 8th Avenue; stay on it
for about 10 minutes, noting that it becomes
Marine Drive, until you see a sign for 132nd Street on your
right (there is no corner on your left); follow 132nd
Street for just under two minutes, until you see our house on
your right; you’ll see the two red rocking chairs
on the front porch, just beside the driveway on which you’ll see
my car.”
Slide #6 refers to nouns and adjectives that offer analogies,
which can be very useful in description. However,
you need to recall that cultural referents are going to have an
important impact. For example, if you told your
friends that you’d just gone to live on property in the still
somewhat rural Aldergrove area about an hour East
of Vancouver, and that your lot was “about the size of three
football fields”, they’d likely understand
sufficiently well—regardless of whether they were aware of
the fact that, for most of the world, “football”
refers to the game we call “soccer”, or that the American NFL
football field is not the same size as the
Canadian CFL field—or even what the precise dimensions of
any of those fields would be.
If you tell a North American that something is about the size of
a nickel, your description may be
appropriate—unless, of course, your description is part of
manufacturing specifications; even in casual
conversation, however, that analogy will be as meaningless to
most Europeans as “about the size of a Euro
would be to most Canadians. Analogously, in my life, I don’t
need to differentiate colour, tint, shade, and hue;
nor do I need to correctly distinguish cyan, aquamarine,
chromium, or tangerine. However, if you are dealing
with a painter—whether one who practises interior design or
one who creates art on canvas, those precise
distinctions can become significant.
Slide #7 is a reminder of the issues you need to consider before
you decided on visuals for mechanism or
process description. Chapter 6 of your textbook (which
becomes a required reading only for Week 9, but
which you might want to at least glance at now) deals with
these issues in more detail. For the moment,
consider the following points:
Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and
Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014
4
• Do you need visuals? Will they help your audience “see and
understand” better?
• If so, how many should you use?
• Should you use a photo, a line drawing, a graph, a table, or
something else? What should each of
those visuals depict? Should the visual be in colour? If you’re
showing an electrical wiring diagram,
for example, you need to recall that wiring is colour-coded;
thus, black and white or grey scale could
lead to dangerous misinterpretation. However, how are you
planning to “publish” the description? If
you’re going to need 6,000 paper copies, you might need to
consider the very significant cost increase
for colour printing.
• Where should you place each of the visuals? Should you have
the text “wrap” around a visual, or
should the visual be “by itself ”—on the left, in the centre, on
the right?
• How big should it be? It needs to be small enough to fit where
you’ve decided it should go; however,
it needs to be large enough so that whatever details you think
are necessary will remain legible for
your audience at the time.
• And, should you use small scale or large scale? If you use
small scale, your audience will be able to
“locate” items within a larger “whole”, but not see detail; if
you use large scale, the detail will be
clear, but not the “location”. Again, you need to think about
your audience and your context.
Slides #8 and #9 can be considered simple “review” of part of
Chapter 8 of your textbook; however, you
might want to have a look at the example (likely still available
at the URL provided) at the bottom of #9.
Slide #10 is very much like what you’ll also see in your
textbook. It represents the “beginning” of what is
becoming an increasingly common type of description—one
that is meant to be read and used on line. Thus,
it makes use of hyperlinks. The problem in constructing such a
description is deciding what links to create.
Obviously, it’s technically easy to create links from every major
component to every other major component
and to every sub-component, and from every sub-component to
every other sub-component, and from all of
those to an introduction and to a summary, and between the
introduction and the summary. However, doing
so results in a kind of “navigation clutter” that would make it
all but impossible for any audience to deal with
your description usefully. Thus, the real difficulty lies in
deciding what links to actually create within the on-
line document. You might want to look at the two examples
linked to on that slide. Both—though particularly
the Wikipedia site—illustrate the potential “navigation”
links, many of which are likely unnecessary in the context.
You might want to try constructing a brief description of the
corkscrew in slide #11. You’re likely to find
that it’s deceptively simple... and, in fact, such a description
will be useful only if you’ve laid out a precise
scenario first—whether you do so by means of a CMAPP
analysis or any other tool that allows to know what
you are doing, for whom, for what reason, and so forth.
Incidentally, were you already familiar with the
technical terms for all the parts of that corkscrew? Would your
audience be? What would you have to
explain? How would you construct that explanation, and are you
ensuring that the level of technicality of that
explanation is congruent with your audience’s?
Slide #12’s hockey rink illustrates unnecessary clutter in a
visual, caused by not having identified what an
audience needs/wants to know. For example, someone using the
diagram to paint the lines on a new rink
prior to laying down the ice, will need the specific dimensions,
but will not really need to know either the
names or the precise locations of the players’ benches—but
would need to know whether the layout is for
international or NHL play. Conversely, if you intended using
the diagram to help teach eight-year-olds to play,
you’d likely want the identifying terms such as blue line, goal
crease, and so forth; however, those kids would
have no need whatever for the precise dimensions. Finally, can
you identify an audience and a context that
would require everything in that diagram? (I’m not sure I can…)
The last slide provides links (valid at time of writing) to four
sites that can provide a good deal of help. Don’t
try to “re-invent the wheel”: make use of what others have
developed and have made available to you.
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5
B. Written Instructions
One way or another, you will need to create written
instructions. For example, you may attend a seminar or
information session, and then be asked to produce instructions
for other employees to learn what you
acquired; you may be asked to leave detailed instructions for
another employee while you are away on
vacation; even in your personal life, you may need to leave
instructions for someone who is taking care of
your home while you are away, or to take care of pets or
children.
Look before you leap
Perhaps the greatest difficulty with regard to effective written
instructions is the fact that most people don’t
read them carefully—or, at least, don’t implement them
attentively.
Suppose, for example, you come into class to write a final exam
worth 25% of your course grade. Your
professor quickly reminds you of the standard exam
conditions—no communicating with others, etc.—and
stresses that everyone will have the same amount of time, but
not a moment longer, and so forth. When
finally given permission to begin, you turn over the exam paper,
and, at the top, you see the following.
NAM E _____________________________ DAT E
_____________________
INSTRUCTIONS
a) Print your name and today's date in the space provided above.
b) Answer all questions thoughtfully and honestly. This test is
designed to measure various things.
Its results may well count as part of your course grade.
c) Do not consult your textbook(s) or other sources while doing
the test.
d) Do not ask any questions of the instructor or proctor during
the test. If you are unable to decide
how to answer a particular question, follow your initial
reaction.
e) Do each section and each question within each section in
sequential order. Do not go back to any
question within a section or to previous section once you have
moved on.
f) Read through the entire test carefully before continuing.
g) Unless otherwise instructed, write all your answers on this
page.
If you are like most people, you will glance quickly—if at
all—at the instructions, and then begin to answer
the exam questions as quickly as you can. You will continue to
do so, even if you begin to feel that some of
them seem a tad bizarre—for example, when you reach the
following.
6. Count the number of desks in this room, multiply that by the
number of doors in the room, and
add to that result, the number of students present.
7. Review your answer to question number 4. Now, indicate by
Yes or No whether you would
change it if you were permitted to do so.
8. Check your pulse by placing a finger on your carotid artery in
your neck and counting how many
beats you feel in 15 seconds and multiplying by four. Write that
number as your answer.
9. Print your name in upper case block characters at the top of
the other side of this page.
10. Estimate, in metres, the distance between the front of your
desk and the blackboard; add to that
figure, the number of students in the class, and write that total
as your answer.
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However, like most of your fellows, you “slog on”... until you
come to the last question:
35. Answer only Question 1. Ignore all other parts of this test.
Look up for 3–4 seconds, and
smile sheepishly to show you have understood. Pretend to
continue to work so as not to
disturb others who have not yet reached your embarrassed
understanding.
Why would most students not have read question #35 without
having attempted the intervening questions?
They would likely have tried those questions primarily because
of the effect of the proverb, “familiarity
breeds contempt.” We say to ourselves: I’ve done this many
times before; exams always say to read through
carefully; there’s never any point; I’m in a hurry; I need to get
going on the questions so I have time to
finish... and so on. In other words, we are quite certain that we
don’t need to really pay attention to the
instructions, since we really do know what we’re doing...
regardless of the context.
Here’s a quick “reality check”. Every year in this country,
people are injured, people are maimed, and people
die—because they didn’t follow instructions attentively. Most
of the time, such readily preventable accidents
occur when danger is an inherent part of the activities—
working with high-tension electrical equipment or
with heavy machinery, logging, construction, mining, and so
forth. So, although your own situation may not
include these kinds of occupational hazards, you would likely
want the person taking care of your home or
your pet or your child to read and follow your instructions
carefully.
This might be a good time to look through David McMurray’s
Online Technical Writing: Instructions page at
https://www.prismnet.com/~hcexres/textbook/instrux.html. Take
a few minutes to do so.
A Little Experiment
Before you do anything else, open and print both of the one-
page files, Paper Airplane Construction Sheet and
Paper Airplane Instructions.
Now, how long do you think it should take you to fold a paper
airplane? Do you think that three minutes
should be sufficient? Allowing yourself no more than three
minutes, follow the Paper Airplane Instructions to
create a paper airplane from the Paper Airplane Construction
Sheet.
If you’re like most people in most of the classes I’ve shown
this to, you’ll probably give up in frustration
without being able to complete the task—even if, like many of
them, you refuse to stop after your three
Let me tell you where this “experiment” comes from. It’s
simply one of the templates available in Microsoft
Publisher 2010. If you have the program, open it, and, under
More Templates, click on Paper Folding Projects, and
then, under Office.com Templates, choose Paper airplane
(Stubby design). You’ll see that you can generate both the
construction sheet I used (though I replaced its “decal” with the
UCW logo) and the instruction sheet. Here
are some observations.
Who created these instructions? We can probably assume a
Microsoft employee—let’s call that person Fred.
Was Fred deliberately trying to create bad, frustrating
instructions? Likely the opposite: he wanted to provide
something that users would find fun, and that would enhance
their enjoyment of the program. Did Fred
know how to create that Stubby? I’m convince he did. In fact, I
don’t think you can create usable instructions
if you don’t know how to “do it” yourself. Did Fred test his
instructions? I believe that, as a bright,
conscientious employee, he did. But, I think he probably tested
them by trying them himself. And, of course,
they worked for him… in large part, because he already knew
how to do it. He should have asked someone
who did not know how to create the Stubby to test them. We
need to remember that instructions are supposed
to be for someone who needs them, who does not already know
how to effect the task. And Fred seemed to
forget that.
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7
Let me tell you another (true) story. My father, with whom I
had been close friends for many years was
almost 95 when he died. A well-educated professional (who
had, by the way, known a fellow you might have
heard of, by the name of Albert Einstein… but that’s another
story…), he had been a civil engineer for most
of his life. However, he had never learned to type, and had
never sat at a computer monitor—although, he
had employees who of course did use computers in the office.
One day, he decided that he’d like to learn
enough about computers to decide if he really wanted to learn
to actually use one. So, unsurprisingly, he
asked me to help him. Less than an hour into our little “training
session”, we were both becoming frustrated
and angry, and decided we didn’t want to prejudice the
friendship, despite his not having learned anything. So,
I asked my wife—a nurse of many years’ experience—if she
would spend a bit of time with him. (Note that
Bettie had always disliked computers and had never become
proficient; rather, she often asked me how to do
this or that. To my occasional query of, “Why don’t you just
learn to use the software?” her standard response
was, “I don’t need to; you live here.”) She and my father were
also good friends, and they got together for his
“lesson”. After a couple of hours, he had learned enough to
decide that he had no further interest. They both
remained pleased with the experience.
So, why was the “class” so unsuccessful for my father and me,
but effective for him and Bettie—apart,
perhaps, from her being a nicer human being than I?
Fundamentally, it was her level of expertise was close to
his, while I could no longer put myself in the position of
someone who knew nothing at all. In a sense, I was
like Fred, trying to create the paper airplane instructions.
Note that sometimes, your audience cannot follow instructions
because they “know too much”, and
sometimes because they “know too little”. Let me illustrate.
Suppose I give you the following numbers: 3, 5, 7. Your
instruction is to provide the next number in the
series. If you are familiar only with standard arithmetic series,
you’ll have no trouble giving 9 as the next
number. However, if you are familiar with prime numbers, you
can’t follow the instruction: you don’t know
whether the next number would be 9 or 11. In fact, you “know
too much”.
Now consider this series: 6, 9, 12, 16, 25, 33, 41. Again, your
instruction is to give the next number. Are you
having trouble? I’ll help: it’s 49. Now, what’s the next one?
Still having trouble? It’s 57. What are the last two?
Most of you, I think, won’t be able to give the correct
answers—63 and 70—because you “don’t know
enough”. In this case, you don’t know the context. Open a web
browser to Google Maps, and look for Oak
Street in Vancouver. Oak is a main street running North/South.
From North to South, it is intersected by
major East/West streets: 6th Avenue, Broadway (which is 9th
Avenue), 12th Avenue, 16th Avenue, King Edward
(which is 25th), 33rd Avenue, 41st Avenue, 49th Avenue, 57th
Avenue, Park Drive (which is 63rd Avenue), and
70th Avenue—the last main intersection before the Oak Street
Bridge into Richmond. Now, put aside your
annoyance, and remember: when you provide instructions, you
should think about (the CMAPP ideas of) what
your audience already knows, along with what they need/want
to know.
Now…let’s return to Fred’s Stubby instructions, and identify a
few more of the issues that made them difficult
to follow.
Glancing very quickly at that page, how many visuals are there
in the top third of the page? Some people’s first
reaction is “six”; some people’s is “seven”. How could that
happen with such a small number? We tend to see
two “kinds” of visuals there: a group of six on the left, and a
“different” seventh on the right. We also
presume that the six refer to “building” the plane, while the
seventh shows the “finished product”—and it
shows the plan “in flight”, an assumption engendered by our
almost unconscious notice of the four diagonal
lines to its lower left. And yet, Fred has not told us any of this.
Rather, we need to postpone our automatic attempt to deal with
the visuals, and look to his text. There, we
see his heading, THE PLANE, which we intuit to be the
instructions for building the item. Apparently, there
are seven instructions there. But, note that I (and you, likely)
had to “count the bullets”. If Fred had numbered
them instead, we would have all but instantaneously known that
the list contained seven items. And, that’s
what he should have done: used a numbered list rather than a
bulleted list. Doing so would have made later
reference much easier.
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8
Well, his first instruction is fairly straightforward, providing we
presume (and we don’t “know” because we
need these instructions…) that all the lines on the page are “fold
lines”.
What is his second instruction? In fact, it contains five separate
instructions:
1) fold forward
2) crease
3) open back up
4) fold back
5) reopen
It shouldn’t. Unless all but impossible, we should have one
instruction per instruction. It is always easier for
an audience to deal with several short instructions than with one
long, “composite” one.
His third now tells us to “pull and tuck the folds together as
shown in the first two drawings.” Apparently, we
had no use for any of the visuals that we saw before beginning
his instructions, but we now need the first
two. But, which two—are we to use the first two in the top row
of three, or the two in the first column of
two? We don’t know; but, why didn’t he number the visuals, as
he definitely should have done?
Let’s suppose we do manage to complete his five “non-
numbered” items. We’ve finished, haven’t we? Well,
wait: now we see three more visuals—also unnumbered.
Further, these are large scale, and so we can’t tell
where they would be located on the small-scale visuals at the
top of the page. And now, we see another
heading, THE ADJUSTABLE FLAPS. Fred seems to assume
that everyone wanting to have fun with
Microsoft Publisher’s paper airplanes will know what flaps are,
where they will be on the Stubby, and why they
need to be adjustable. Did you know those things? And what
instructions—again, not numbered—does he
give? First is to “Cut on sides”. Ah… So, he assumed we knew
that we were going to need scissors. How so?
And then, he instructs us to “Fold up to make the plane rise…
fold down to make the plane drop.” But, wait:
according to the first set of instructions, we’ve already thrown
the plane. And, would we be expected to
“fold” the flaps while the Stubby is flying?
And, now he cautions us that, depending on the printer we
used—presumably for the construction sheet, we
may not even have those flaps. Remember: the instructions were
supposed to be for someone who does not
yet know how to create the Stubby.
Yet, now we see another set of large scale visuals, followed by
the heading, THE STICK-UP TAIL When we
read the supposed instructions for this segment, we might ask
which “two angled fold lines”, and what is the
“top”, here? Finally, we see one more set of unexplained,
large-scale visuals, followed by THE FASTENING
CLIP. And now, we might ask:
1) Why would we need to fasten anything on a single sheet of
paper?
2) Where is this “clip” on the plane?
3) How were we to know that we’d need scissors?
4) Does it matter to which side we fold it?
5) What about the fact that we had already thrown the
completed plane?
Remember that one of the most common problems with
instructions is that they may work well for someone
who already knows “how to do it” and needs simply a
“reminder”, but they are not clear enough or practical
enough for the person who really needs them—the person who
has never learned to do it.
Do you think that Fred might have succeeded better if he had
been familiar with the chapters you’ve already
read in your textbook?
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9
In Conclusion
I’d now like you to have a look through the five slides in the
Instructions.pptx file. They are simply a very quick
review of some of the main points covered on pages 106–108
of Chapter 8 of your text. However, you’ll
find additional information—and slightly different points of
view—in the web items offered through the
links in the Written Instructions URLs file. I suggest you read
them, too.
Please examine the four sets of instructions found in
Instructions-Samples. They are scans of instructions for
items I have owned.
1) The Black & Decker electric power drill pages illustrate
some of the same problems we saw with
Fred’s Stubby instructions. This time, though, you can be
confused in both English and French. Since
I do happen to speak French, I noticed that those instructions
are no better than their English
counterparts; and, it is at times quite apparent that the
instructions were written first in English, and
then translated—not always particularly well, and certainly
without considering whether the French-
speaking audience would be using European French, Quebec
French, or one of the other varieties of
the language used around the world in which Black & Decker
wishes to sell.
2) The Alexor home alarm system cover page shows what
happens when poorly printed sheets of
relatively flimsy paper are then copied. The Access Code
Programming page was, to me, a source of great
frustration, and I eventually called the alarm company’s “tech
support”; even their technician didn’t
quite understand the instructions on that page; and, it turned out
that some of its instructions
referred to an earlier version of the alarm panel.
3) The four Your Pocket Guide page-panels for the MP3 player
were not much of a delight to use. First,
the actual size of each panel was approximately 4"×2", which
meant that the print was miniscule;
second, the quality of the reproduction was quite poor; third,
some of the language use clearly
evidenced bad translation for an original; and, finally, some of
the instructions simply did not work
on the player that the instructions accompanied.
4) By stark contrast, the eight-page Hamilton Beach Toastsation
booklet demonstrates that good
instructions can be created. Your only likely problem with them
will be that the PDF file you have will
not, in fact, produce real toasted bagels.
Finally, you should view the Instructions-Odd and CYA slides.
They offer examples of some of the more bizarre
instructions or warnings that are put on commercial items. In
many cases, those cautions likely appear in
deference to the CYA Principle. (On the very “off chance” you
didn’t know: CYA = Cover Your Ass.) The
implication, of course, is that the manufacturer believed that
someone, somewhere, was going to be foolish
(read “stupid”) enough to do what they were explicitly warning
against. (Sadly, the company was likely
correct…) Thus, they felt the need to print their “disclaimer”.
That’s it for this week. I hope you’ll post questions and
comments in the Week 4 Forum.
And, don’t forget that your Article Review assigment should be
in my Inbox by 6:00pm on Tuesday, April 29.
Cheers.
Dave
Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and
Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014
Week 4 Posting: Mechanism (Technical) and Process
Description, and InstructionsA) Mechanism (Technical) and
Process DescriptionB. Written InstructionsLook before you
leapA Little ExperimentIn Conclusion
Week 2 Posting:
Communication Models (Transactional and CMAPP)
For this week, your textbook readings were Chapter 2—The
CMAPP Analysis, Chapter 3—Complementary
Attributes of the CMAPP Model, and Chapter 5—From Data to
Information of the textbook. I hope that
my posting, and the files to which I’ll refer you, will give you a
clearer understanding of those chapters and of
how you may apply their information.
The Words of Communication
People have been talking to each other for untold generations. If
you’re interested in the history of language,
you might want to begin on sites such as the ones below.
• http://grammar.about.com/od/grammarfaq/a/Where-Does-
Language-Come-From.htm
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_language
• http://www.exploratorium.edu/exploring/language/
• http://www.economist.com/node/18557572
By the way, how many languages are there? You can find
opinions at the following sites, for example.
• http://www.linguisticsociety.org/content/how-many-
languages-are-there-world
•
http://www.ling.upenn.edu/courses/Fall_2011/ling001/world_la
nguages.html
Part of the problem in counting them is that different linguists
have different opinions on what constitutes a
language versus a dialect. Have a look, for example, at
•
http://www.nsf.gov/news/special_reports/linguistics/dialects.jsp
, or
• https://www.ethnologue.com/about/problem-language-
identification
Regardless of how really did originate and develop—and, apart
from the certainty expressed by some
“creation theorists”, we will likely never really know—it is
clear that human language is at once very simple
and extraordinarily complex.
It’s simple in that every language seems to use a quite limited
number of what are called phonemes—sounds
that, within that language, have distinct meaning, and that,
regardless of how you “count” words, people
seem able to get across basic meanings using very few of them.
On the other hand, the number of phonemes used in
contemporary languages is enormous, though,
apparently, much smaller than the number of sounds the human
vocal apparatus can produce. Even the way
that today’s languages may be related to each other through
their histories is not clear cut. The following sites
offer slightly different points of view.
• http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/languagefamilies.html
• http://www.krysstal.com/langfams.html
• http://aboutworldlanguages.com/language-families
And we haven’t even considered the phonemes that might have
been used by languages no longer with us.
Languages have died out or are moribund in all the continents
besides Antarctica. See the following, for
example.
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_death
• http://www.unesco.org/culture/languages-atlas/
•
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/29/magazine/29LANGUAGE.
html
Still, human language seems to continue to display a number of
constants. Among them is our ability to
©DIWIS 2014
http://grammar.about.com/od/grammarfaq/a/Where-Does-
Language-Come-From.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_language
http://www.exploratorium.edu/exploring/language/
http://www.economist.com/node/18557572
http://www.linguisticsociety.org/content/how-many-languages-
are-there-world
http://www.ling.upenn.edu/courses/Fall_2011/ling001/world_la
nguages.html
http://www.nsf.gov/news/special_reports/linguistics/dialects.jsp
https://www.ethnologue.com/about/problem-language-
identification
http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/languagefamilies.html
http://www.krysstal.com/langfams.html
http://aboutworldlanguages.com/language-families
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_death
http://www.unesco.org/culture/languages-atlas/
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/29/magazine/29LANGUAGE.
html
differentiate words. But, what is a “word”? Most of us, of
course, believe we know exactly what a word is. So,
what is your answer to that question? When I ask it in class, I
tend to get certain replies… for which I express
some concerns. Consider:
Answer 1: A word is a group of letters that we understand.
Comment 1: This implies that only languages that are written
can contain words. There have been many
languages—and, probably, still are some—that have never been
committed to writing… and
yet they obviously have words.
Comment 2: It also implies that only languages that use
alphabets can have words. Chinese, spoken by
hundreds of millions of people, however, doesn’t use an
alphabet: it uses a different kind of
writing system often called ideograms. Yet Chinese, of course,
has words.
Answer 2: A word is any sound that has meaning.
Comment: If I scream in pain or in fear, you’d certainly
understand the meaning. Yet, I don’t think you’d
categorize that sound as a word. Analogously, if I loudly
banged my fist on the table in anger,
you’d understand my meaning, but still wouldn’t call that sound
a word.
I then ask for someone who speaks a language that I do not.
Invariably, I find a student who speaks one;
perhaps it’s Chinese, Vietnamese, Punjabi, Farsi, Swahili, or
Albanian. Let’s suppose the student speaks Urdu.
I ask the person to stand in front of me, and I say something
like, “Suppose you start to shake my hand, and,
with a smile on your face, say to me in Urdu, the equivalent of
‘Ingre, you are one miserable, sorry-assed, son
of a bitch!” What will I do?” Once the smiles and chuckles
have stopped, I explain: “I’ll shake your hand,
smile back, and say, ‘Thank you; pleased to meet you, too…’
Now, when you said those bad things to me,
what did I actually hear?”
Think about that for a moment. Now, here’s my own response. I
heard noises—ones produced by the human
voice. That’s all. I did not hear what I could identify as words,
because I don’t speak the language.
So, on one very important level, words are simply bunches of
noises. However—and this a gigantic “however”—
as soon as groups of people begin to attribute meaning to those
bunches of noises, the impact is absolutely
enormous. Reflect for a moment. From my own cursory
knowledge of history, it seems that throughout
human civilization, people have been persecuted, jailed, or
executed—simply for making noises. I find that both
astonishing and a bit frightening. It is, though, reality: people
imbue bunches of noises they make with
meaning… and they thereby use language to communicate with
each other.
Communication Models
As mentioned in Chapter 2, people have developed a host of
different communication models to help
describe and, perhaps, improve linguistic communication. (I say
“linguistic”, because, of course, we use
additional means as well—gesture and facial expression, for
example.)
Implications of the Transactional Model
Among the most durable, perhaps, are the various “flavours” of
the transactional model. Pages 13 and 14 of
your text show two versions. In the figure on the next page, I’d
like to present a third, that includes additional
elements.
You’ll note two things about this transactional model:
1. It’s predicated on the idea that communication must involve
at least two people: a sender and a receiver.
2. It is a linear model: communication always proceeds in one
direction—from sender to receiver. Note
that if the original receiver responds to the original sender,
their roles are reversed, but the
“direction” of communication remains the same.
Page 2 of 6
Figure: A Transactional Model (Personal sketch)
Now, let’s suppose that you’re going to be the sender. The first
thing you need to do is decide exactly what it
is you want to communicate. And that, in fact, is often the
hardest task. All too often, we sit down at a
keyboard and start typing, thinking something like, “I have to
write to so-and-so about something to do with
something about that kind of thing, approximately, I think…”
Naturally, we don’t do very well. When I was
an undergraduate, a quip was in common circulation. “Caution:
be sure to engage brain before putting mouth
into motion.” Whether your want to communicate orally or in
writing, you need to know—before you
begin—precisely what it is that you want to say or to write.
The next thing you need to do is encode that content—in effect,
put it into language. That might begin with
choosing the language. When I worked for the Canadian federal
government in Ottawa, I needed to ask
myself whether the content should be in English, in French, or
in both. In whichever language, you’ll need to
choose the right words and the right expressions, and the right
grammatical structures, and so forth.
Now, you’ll need to transmit that encoded content. In the
transactional model, we talk about transmission
channels or transmission vehicles. They’re not meant to be
“rocket science”. In a face-to-face conversation
between two speakers of the same language, the principal (I say
principal because gesture, for example, can
also be involved) transmission vehicle is sound. That means an
oral (speech) / aural (hearing) process. Since
no one’s oral mechanism is perfect and since no one’s aural
mechanism is perfect, some “bits” get lost in
transmission. We can refer to that phenomenon as interference.
People who study interference say that between
5% and 15% of what the sender transmits can be lost. We
usually talk about external interference and internal
interference. Examples of the former would be someone
entering the classroom while I’m speaking, several
people coughing repeatedly, the power suddenly going out, the
electronic distortion common over phone and
Skype connections and so forth. Examples of the latter might
be if my audience has just finished a large
luncheon and is getting sleepy, if I am feeling unwell, if my
audience has decided they really don’t like me, or
if I’ve decided that I can’t stand my audience…
Whatever parts of the transmission remain intact now have to
be decoded by the receiver. Does the receiver
understand the language being used—English or French, for
example? Does the receiver know the words
being used, etc.?
Page 3 of 6
Then, the receiver has to interpret the decoded content. This
becomes problematic because, in any language,
words and expressions mean different things to different people.
We usually talk about two kinds of meaning:
denotation and connotation. The former might be described as
the simple, empirical, dictionary definition.
The latter includes this, but also encompasses the images,
feelings, and responses elicited on the part of the
receiver. Let me illustrate with the common English word home.
Its denotation might be something like
“principal residence of one or more individuals. Its
connotation, though, depends on you. If you were lucky
and had a happy childhood, “home” might have very positive
connotations: happiness, security, comfort,
laughter, etc. If you had a very unhappy childhood, though,
“home” might hold very negative connotations
for you: stress, anger, perhaps even danger. Interpretation of
words depends in large part on the receiver.
Let me tell you a true story.
This happened a very long time ago, and yet, it still evokes
strong emotions in me. At the end of the second
week of October of 1991, I quite literally buried my best
friend. Even after all these years, I can see, and feel,
my reactions as though it were yesterday. We had been friends
for about nine and a half years. For most of
that time, he had been my best friend, and I could tell that I had
been his. During a very difficult couple of
years in my own life, it seemed that he was my only friend. So,
we were very close. Some two years before he
died, I learned that he had a progressive disease. At the time, no
one really knew what caused it; and, there’s
still no cure. So, I knew that it was going to be just a matter of
time before I would lose him. When he finally
succumbed, he weighed about 80 pounds. He quite literally died
in my arms. I’d helped to dig his grave, and I
helped to lay him in it. I’m not embarrassed to say that shortly
after, I began to sob.
Now, I should tell you that, three or four years before he died,
when he was still hale, hearty, and active, he
weighed about 85 pounds, was close to three feet high, was
brown with black markings, had small floppy ears,
and a little stub of a tail that seemed to go berserk when he saw
me come back from work.
You’re right: I’ve been talking about my dog. He was a big
brindle boxer named Captain; and, everything I’ve
told you is true. But, notice. As you were reading the story, you
might well have been thinking, “Why would
he be telling us this as part of a technical and business
communications course?” And, once you realized I
was talking about my dog, if you happened to really like dogs
(as I obviously do), you might have thought
something like, “Well, that is just so sad…” If you don’t
happen to like dogs much, you might have reacted by
thinking, “Sure; but it’s a damned dog!” There’s nothing wrong
with either reaction, of course. What’s
important, though, is the following. For the story, I chose words
and expressions that tend to have high
connotation. (Go back and look…) You all read the same ones;
but, you responded differently—because of
who you are, and, therefore, the way that you interpreted those
words and expressions. Pretty obviously, then,
the receiver’s interpretation plays a very important role in the
effectiveness of communication.
The process we’ve just looked at helps to explain the gap you
might notice between the fantastic, wonderful,
marvellous idea you want to communicate (the smiley-face in
Figure 1), and the rather different reaction you get
from the receiver (the sad-face in Figure 1). One of the things
that can help to narrow that gap is feedback. For
whatever reason, people communicate more comfortably and
more effectively when there’s the opportunity
for constant feedback. Try the following. The next time you’re
on the phone with someone you know well,
just listen. I’m sure you think that you do listen. But, here, I
mean, do nothing but listen: no “uh huh… yep…
oh, sure… great… awesome… OK… etc.” Listen attentively but
silently. Likely within 10-20 seconds (a very
short time), you’ll hear, “Hello?” The person on the other end
of the line wasn’t getting any feedback.
You should remember that when you send written
communication, what the receiver gets is all the receiver
has. There’s no opportunity for continued feedback—at least,
not instantaneous. And, that makes for more
difficult and, usually, more ineffective communication.
Finally, understand that, in many ways, language is
insufficiently precise for really accurate communication.
You really cannot preclude intentional misinterpretation.
However, as a practitioner of technical and business
communication, part of your job is to try to lessen the
likelihood of unintentional misunderstanding. In other
words, you try to narrow the gap between the happy-face and
the sad-face.
Page 4 of 6
CMAPP
Quite some years ago, a couple of colleagues and I were talking
about discrepancies we’d noticed between
what was then common textbooks for university business
communication courses, and what we actually saw
in the marketplace. (All of us have worked for may years in the
private and/or public sectors.) The eventual
result of our protracted conversations was that each of us
developed a communication model, initially for use
in our own classrooms. Mine became what I called the CMAPP
model. Much later, the three of us
“compared notes”; not really to our surprise, we discovered
that, although the terminology in our three
models was different, their basic ideas had proven all but
identical. As well, we took a bit of admittedly
conceited pride as we also noticed that the concepts we had
brought to bear in our models had, more and
more, become standard in the textbooks we now saw. Patting
ourselves lightly on our respective backs, we
smiled as we thought of ourselves as having been in the
professional communication teaching vanguard.
Nonetheless, I still think that the CMAPP model, developed to
deal exclusively with technical, business,
professional communication, seems to work quite well. While
I’d still adhere to the definitions and explanations
in your textbook, I will add—or, perhaps, merely repeat—these
observations.
• Unlike the transactional model, it is not linear. The CMAPP
model is a dynamic model: every
component affects and is affected by every other component all
the time.
• Nor is it static. As soon as you communicate, you change the
context, which has an effect on your
audience, and so on. In a sense, you should never actually effect
a piece of communication, because
reality won’t stand still for it. But, here’s an analogy. Suppose
you’re using a high-quality camera to
take a photo of something and someone very significant to you.
While you’re considering and then
adjusting such things as angle, filters, and exposure time, the
reality is changing, which means that
you might need to modify the settings you’ve identified. At
some point, though, you have to say,
“enough”… and click the shutter to take the picture. In the same
way, after you’ve gone through the
process of your CMAPP Analysis, you need at some point to
say, “enough”… and communicate—
recognizing, however, that doing so means you’re changing the
context and the other elements for
whatever communication then ensues.
• Getting used to the model can be awkward. After all, we’re
more accustomed to putting our
mouth—or our word processor—in motion without being sure
that we’ve engaged our brain. And
the CMAPP model requires that we think very carefully before
we start communicating.
• When you were first learning to drive a car, you were probably
very conscious of every element of
the “process”: clutch (if you drove standard transmission, as I
did), brakes, accelerator, turn signals,
steering, windshield wipers (if it was raining), other vehicles
on the road, pedestrians, and so on.
Over time, all those considerations became automatic…
subconscious, if you like. I’d maintain you
can do the same with the CMAPP model. For a while, actually
write out your CMAPP analysis for your
communications—at least, for those of some complexity and
importance. Over time, the analysis
becomes inevitable and unconscious. In effect, you’ve changed
the CMAPP model to a CMAPP
approach… which means that you—and I—have been successful
with it.
Practice
Finally, from the Week 2 segment, examine the following three
files—in the order shown:
• CMAPP Approach-Strategy-Exercise.pdf, and
• CMAPP Scenarios Exercise.pdf.
• CMAPP Scenarios Exercise-Responses
I’d suggest that you download both and, perhaps, print the first
two. That way, you’ll be able to insert your
answers by hand.
Page 5 of 6
CMAPP Approach-Strategy-Exercise.pdf
• The first three pages show “thumbnail” images from a set of
PowerPoint slides that were intended to
reflect the basics of the CMAPP model and its approach.
• At the bottom of each image, notice the words, “© 2001
Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning”.
They are there because I first created the slides for my
textbook, Express, published in that year by
what was the company then called ITP Nelson. Part of my
agreement with them, however, was that I
could use such material in any way I needed for my own
teaching. Thus, you’ll also see, at the bottom
of each page, “© 2002 DIWIS”. That acronym stands for David
Ingre Written Image Services, the
communications consultancy I actually started in 2000.
• Page 3 gives a brief overview of how to go about effecting a
CMAPP analysis.
• The remaining two pages are your exercise. I’ve given you a
very short, very simple communication
task: tell someone about new computer system that you intend
to buy. However, I’ve given you four
somewhat scenarios in which to undertake this task.
• For each of them, pretend that the communication activity is
of sufficient importance to you that
you decide to undertake a CMAPP analysis. I’ve offered a
number of potential CMAPP questions
you might wish to ask yourself. And, I’ve given you some space
in which to compose brief answers.
• Remember, though, not to ignore the obvious. We often do,
and the obvious can sometimes be very
important. For example, in “real life”, you’ll know whether you
are male or female, and you’d
recognize whether your audience is male or female. However,
might that make a difference? In North
America, we often try to believe that, in a business relationship,
it’s of no consequence. You might
have heard the saying, “It’s always dangerous to make a general
statement.” I’ll make one,
nonetheless. Most of the time, most women react differently to
women than they do to men, and vice
versa. That doesn’t mean that whether you or your audience are
male or female will have a significant
impact on how your communication proceeds. But, it might…
and you should not ignore that
possibility while conducting your CMAPP analysis.
• Note that there are no correct answers here. You’ll decide
whether what you’ve put down is likely to
work well. Of course, you could decide to discuss your answers
with your class colleagues (and/or
with me) in the Week 1 Forum.)
CMAPP Scenarios Exercise.pdf
Here is another exercise that should help you become
comfortable with applying the CMAPP model. I think
that the instructions are fairly self-explanatory. Try to generate
brief answers for all the “hypothetical”
questions in both scenarios.
Once you’ve finished, have a look at CMAPP Scenarios
Exercise-Responses.pdf. Although there are no correct
answers, you’ll see what I considered to be “potential
responses”—things that might work. Again, you might
decide to discuss this exercise on line.
That’s all for now.
Please don’t hesitate to email me for any reason.
Dave
Page 6 of 6
Week 2 Posting: Communication Models (Transactional and
CMAPP)The Words of CommunicationCommunication
ModelsImplications of the Transactional
ModelCMAPPPracticeCMAPP Approach-Strategy-
Exercise.pdfCMAPP Scenarios Exercise.pdf
C M A P P Approach/Strategy/Exercise
C C M M A A P P P P
Context
Message
Audience
Purpose
Product
© 2000 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
Technical/Business Communications
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
Context
Personal relationships
Time, place, weather, etc.
Situations, circumstances of influence
Internal & External Interference
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
Message
Situation overview
Principal facts, issues, questions
Significant details
Primary and secondary?
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
Audience
Identification critical for technical
communication
Receiver in transactional model
Primary: principal, immediate
Secondary?
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
Purpose
Motivation
Expectations
Audience response
Type:
* Inform * Persuade
* Describe * Instruct
© 2002 DIWIS 1
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
Product
Shape of communication
Physical (document)
» Memo, letter, presentation, e-mail, etc.
Job (function)
» Summary, proposal, etc.
Transmission vehicle
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
CMAPP Questions (1)
Context
Underlying /sur-
rounding situation?
Impact on audience
response?
Relationship with
audience?
Other relationships
of consequence?
Message
Precise facts?
Independent /
segment?
Everything?
Specifics needed /
wanted?
Secondary?
Sequence?
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
CMAPP Questions (2)
Audience
Who, precisely?
Already know?
Need / want to
know?
Level of technicality?
Favorable?
Benefits?
Purpose
Rationale?
Expectations?
Type?
Requested?
Action request?
Deadlines?
© 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
CMAPP Questions (3)
Product
Write? Phone? Visit?
Shape: physical?
Shape: job?
Format / Professionalism?
Ensuing changes to Context, Message,
Audience, Purpose?
CMAPP Strategy
1. Identify Basics
obvious context (what
influences?)
basic message (what do
you want to say?
primary (immediate)
audience: to whom?
primary purpose (why? what
is goal?)
2. Analyze Audience
Primary (immediate)
Secondary (positive/
negative ripple effect?)
3. Re-evaluate Purpose
Short-term, intermediate,
long-term (inform, persuade,
etc.?)
4. Re-evaluate Context
As audience and purpose
analysis develop, watch for
additional influences on
“product setting”
5. Re-evaluate Product
Appropriateness and
professionalism?
© 2000 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning
2 © 2002 DIWIS
CMAPP Strategy Analysis
Use the CMAPP strategy to plan any technical, business, or
professional document or presentation. Before
creating your “product”, establish the main points.
After you have initially defined the particular context, the
principal message, the primary audience, the
purpose, and the product, begin drafting your work. As you do
so, examine each of the elements in more
detail. You will note how each component affects the others.
Consider questions like the following.
Context What is the underlying/surrounding situation?
How will it affect how my audience responds to me/my
message?
What is my audience’s relationship to me?
What product (memo, letter, report, presentation, etc.) should I
use?
Is this message “independent”, or is it the initial, middle, or
final
segment of a longer process?
Message Do I have something to say? What is it—exactly?
Do I have a clear idea of what I am writing/speaking about?
Have I excluded all unnecessary information?
Do I have more than one message: a primary and one or more
secondary messages?
If so, have I ranked them in order of importance?
Am I responding to what my audience(s) need(s) / want(s) to
know?
Audience Who will read this?
What does my audience know already?
What does my audience need/want to know? (Does my Message
respond to this?)
How specialized (technical) is my audience? (What have I
assumed?)
How will my audience benefit?
Purpose Why is this document/presentation needed?
What do I want to achieve?
Am I trying to inform, explain, persuade, advise, recommend,
evaluate, describe?
Was this information requested?
Am I specifying any/appropriate action?
Are there deadlines involved? Have I specified them?
Product What is the best way to deliver this message?
Are there organizational or other constraints that affect my
choice of product?
How will receipt of this product affect my audience?
Does my product convey a professional image?
Does my product reflect “me” and “my image” the way I want
it to?
N.B.
You should be able to sum up the content of any technical,
business, or professional document or presentation
in a single statement. This might then serve to introduce a
report, summarize a memo, provide an abstract of
an article, or describe a seminar for a conference. Remember: if
you cannot develop this succinct statement,
you likely do not yet know what you are doing or why you are
doing it.
© 2002 DIWIS 3
Exercise
Scenario: You will tell someone about new computer system
that you intend to buy.
Case 1— A personal friend
Context
• In this scenario, are you female or male?
• Relationship (time, durability, intimacy, etc.)
• Friend’s knowledge of computers compared to
your own?
• Friend’s need for a computer—your old one, for
example?
Message
• What specific details and explanations will your
friend need or want in order to respond as you
would like?
• What should you include? (Should you exclude
anything?)
• Appropriate level of technicality?
Audience
• Male? Female?
• How close a friend?
• Audience’s level of technicality?
• What does he/she know, need to know, want to
know?
Purpose
• Why are you telling your friend about the
computer?
• What do want him/her to do with the
information?
Product
• What product are you using here? Why?
Case 2— Banker from whom you would like a loan to buy the
computer system
Context
• What is your relationship with the banker?
• What kind of reputation do students have?
• Have you dealt with this bank before? Impact?
Message
• What specific details and explanations will the
banker need or want in order to respond as you
would like?
• What should you include? (Should you exclude
anything?)
• Appropriate level of technicality?
Audience
• How will the bank benefit from the transaction?
• What does he/she know, need/want to know?
• Audience’s level of technicality?
• Is anyone else likely to see/use the information?
(Secondary audience?)
Purpose
• Why are you telling the banker about your
computer?
• What—precisely— do want him/her to do with
the information?
Product
• What product is involved, here? Why?
4 © 2002 DIWIS
© 2002 DIWIS 5
Case 3— Your college or university instructor
Context
• What is your relationship?
• What does the instructor teach?
• How would he/she view your obtaining the new
system?
• Might your purchase have an impact on your
marks in the future? How might this be relevant
to the instructor?
Message
• What specific details and explanations will
he/she need or want in order to respond as you
would like?
• What should you include? (Should you exclude
anything?)
• Appropriate level of technicality?
Audience
• Why would he/she even want to help you?
• How will he/she benefit from helping you?
• How “technical” an audience is he/she?
• What would be of most interest to him/her?
Purpose
• Are you simply offering information—and
hoping there is a reaction?
• Are you, in fact, requesting something? What?
• Precisely what do you want him/her to do? When,
and how? Have you been clear?
Product
• What product should I use here? Why?
Case 4—The sales representative in a “computer” store
Context
• Is there any special sale or promotion going on
in the store?
• Are sales staff on salary or commission?
• How did you come to deal with this rep?
• On what basis will you make your decision
regarding exactly what to buy?
Message
• What are the main points he/she needs or wants
in order to respond as you would like?
• Are additional, specific details necessary? If so,
which?
• What should you include? Should you exclude
anything?
• What would be the appropriate level of
technicality?
Audience
• What can you deduce about the rep within the
first moment or two? How are these
observations relevant to you?
• How will he/she benefit from helping you?
• How “technical” an audience is he/she?
• What does the clerk need and want to know?
Purpose
• Do you intend to buy from this store or are you
“comparison shopping”?
• Is your motivation short term or something else?
How does this affect your message?
• Precisely what do you want the rep to do? When,
and how? Have you been clear?
Product
• What is your product?
• How does this product affect the other CMAPP
components
CMAPP Strategy AnalysisExerciseCase 1— A personal
friendContextMessageAudiencePurposeProductCase 2— Banker
from whom you would like a loan
toContextMessageAudiencePurposeProductCase 3— Your
college or university
instructorContextMessageAudiencePurposeProductCase 4—The
sales representative in a “computer”
sContextMessageAudiencePurposeProduct
Evaluative Content
versus
Informative Content
This file is intended to be run in Slide Show mode;
its notes are in the relevant section of this week’s Posting file,
and should be available at the same time.
© DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6
1
Evaluative versus Informative Content: Explanation
The first sentence of each pair displays evaluative content.
The second displays only informative content
They are not equivalent, because empirical information is
different from subjective judgment.
Neither is better—they are only different.
© DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6
2
Evaluative versus Informative Content:
Examples
1. Everyone has to wait in line for hours at the beginning of
the semester.
The length of bookstore line-ups has been the focus of the
security department’s recent report.
2. Finding a parking space was hard enough; now they’re
making us keep a collection of loonies and toonies.
The parking meters now accept only $1 or $2 coins.
3. Getting parking tickets is a real nuisance.
The number of parking tickets already issued this year
exceeds the number issued throughout last year.
© DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6
3
Examples, part 2
4. Having to fill out a five-page form is outrageous.
Jones’ opinion is that a five-page registration form is
outrageous.
5. What a great suggestion! I am sure it will really help us
reach the right conclusion.
Your suggestion has, so far, been approved by eight of the
13 directors on the board.
6. I strongly suggest that serious problems be reported to the
authorities.
Company policy dictates that all infractions be reported
within 48 hours to the Security Office.
© DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6
4
Examples, part 3
7. Parking is expensive for students .
The posted parking rate for students is $4.50 per hour.
8. Reserved parking always has empty spaces .
The building manager’s report indicated that, on average,
10% of parking spots were unoccupied before noon during the
work week.
9. Students can’t afford these prices: they rely on student
loans and money they earn from their low-paying part-time jobs
.
Statistics Canada’s figures show that, in 2009, 45% of full-
time, post-secondary students in Canada applied for student
loans, and that 80% of those applicants indicated that they
already held part-time jobs in the food service sector.
© DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6
5
Examples, part 4
10. Students want to arrive at least 20–30 minutes before class
starts.
Three times this week, I have passed by our classroom at
least 20 minutes before class, and have observed at least three
of my classmates in the hall .
11. Texts are produced in really small numbers, while novels
are printed in the millions .
Canadian publishers report an average annual print run of
1200 for college textbooks, versus an analogous run of 3500 for
“best seller” fiction books .
12. That is an appalling percentage.
The increase amounted to 54% over one month.
© DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6
6
Reports
Organized information
in response to an expressed need
© DIWIS 2014
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1
Reports
Administration
Decisions
Information
Interpretation
Legalities
Planning
Records
Trend analysis
Short / Long: Rationale
© DIWIS 2014
# ‹#› of 13
2
1
Short and Long
Response to need
Audience
lateral / vertical
specialized / lay
Data > Information
Objectivity
Professionalism
CMAPP
ABC
CFF
CAP
KISS
5WH
© DIWIS 2014
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2
Short
Single purpose / focus
Coupon > > > several pages
Format:
Memo > Letter
Report > Prepared form
© DIWIS 2014
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4
3
Short Reports:
Alternative Classification
Incident
Periodic
Progress
Sales
Test
Etc.
© DIWIS 2014
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5
Informal (Short) Reports
Information
Investigation
Informative
Analytical
Evaluation
Recommendation
Evaluative versus Informative
see Evaluative versus Informative Content.pptx
© DIWIS 2014
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6
Informative Reports: Organization
Patterns
Chronological
(Sales over 4 quarters)
Topical/Spatial (Widget type/Geography)
Importance
(High>low / Low>high)
House Style
Segments
Introduction / Background
Facts / Findings / Observations / Results
Summary
© DIWIS 2014
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7
Evaluative Reports: Approach
Deductive (Direct):
business: informed audience
Inductive (Indirect):
Persuasion: uninformed audience
© DIWIS 2014
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8
Evaluative Reports: Organization
Purchased Cars
Up-front costs
Overhead costs
Employee reactions
Leased Cars
Up-front costs
Overhead costs
Employee reactions
Employee-owned Cars
Up-front costs
Overhead costs
Employee reactions
Up-front Costs
Purchased cars
Leased cars
Employee-owned cars
Overhead Costs
Purchased cars
Leased cars
Employee-owned cars
Employee Reactions
Purchased cars
Leased cars
Employee-owned cars
Alternative/Option
Criterion / Issue
Renewing Fleet of Vehicles for Sales Staff
Purchasing Dept.
Finance Dept.
© DIWIS 2014
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Long
Multiple purpose / focus
Complexity
Conventions
Example: company annual report
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10
4
Long Report Conventions (1)
Common Front Pieces
Transmittal memo/letter
Cover page
Table of Contents
Abstract and/or Executive Summary
List of Figures / Illustrations)
Glossary (more likely: End Piece)
© DIWIS 2014
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11
5
Long Report Conventions (2)
Body
Common End Pieces
Appendix / Appendices
Glossary
Index
Works Cited (depending on style guide)
Bibliography (format as per style guide)
© DIWIS 2014
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12
6
Feasibility Proposal Report
Week 6 posting re Persuasive Communication (including
proposals)
Assignment information and Grading Sheet in Assignments and
Grading Sheets folder on website.
© DIWIS 2014
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13
Mechanism / Technical
&
Process Description
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
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1
Before beginning:
Analyze
Context
Message
Audience
Purpose
Product
Brain into gear before…
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2
Organization
Spatial / Geographical:
L>R, top>bottom, inside>outside, etc.
Common: no moving parts
Chronological
Order of operation: Hole #1 > Hole #18
Order of assembly: operator’s manual, etc.
General > Specific / Simple > Complex
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
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3
Vocabulary: Precision (1)
Precise but incorrect because of context
Circle vs. Sphere
Square vs. Cube
Triangle vs. Pyramid
Spiral vs. Helix
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
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Vocabulary: Precision (2)
Precise versus Vague
… 750 m. straight ahead … fair distance ahead
… travels N. along Main St. … goes up Main. St.
… 49°2’18” N. latitude … a few minutes above
22°9’12” W. longitude and to the left of the border
… temp reaches 150 ° C. … hat and sunscreen
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Terminology / Analogy
N.B.: Cultural Referents
Size: football field, paper clip, nickel, toaster oven, ballpoint
pen
Shape: circular, rectangular, concave, convex, tubular, conical,
saw-toothed
Texture: mirror-like, honeycombed, spongy, serrated, spiked
Colour: red, blue, green, cyan, mauve…
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
6
Visuals
Why?
Number?
What?
Where?
Size?
Scale?
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
7
Simple Technical Description
Introduce item
Specify relevant details
Organization pattern (spatial, chronological, etc.)
Attributes (function, dimension, shape, etc.)
Conclude
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
8
2
2
2
Complex Description
1) Introduction
2) General relationships / functions
3) Specifics of main components:
a) First component
b) Second component, etc.
4) Conclusion
Example:
http://guppy.mpe.nus.edu.sg/~mpeangh/wss-mob-
robot/Mobile%20Robotics%20TD23_40CA_EN_v2.0.pdf
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
9
Hyperlinked Description
How Stuff Works
http://computer.howstuffworks.com/usb.htm
iPad (Wikipedia)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPad
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
10
Terminology?
Source:Bragonier & Fisher (Ed.), What’s What, Ballantine
Books 1981
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
11
Sample 2
NHL / International Hockey Rink Source:
http://www.mybackyardicerink.com/hockey-rink-diagram.html
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
12
Technical Description: URLs
Online Technical Writing (©David McMurray)
http://www.prismnet.com/~hcexres/textbook/desc.html
Society for Technical Communication (Description Writing
Exercises)
http://www.ebstc.org/TechLit/trgintro3.html
DocSymmetry.com
http://www.docsymmetry.com/technical-writing-process.html
Jerz’s Literacy Weblog
http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/technical-writing/process-
description-how-to-write-about-a-sequence-of-events/
© DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page
‹#› of 12
13
Component B
Component A
Component C
Summary
Sub-
component
B3
Introduction
Sub-
component
B4
Sub-
component
B1
Inter-
relationship
Overview
Sub-
component
B2
COMM 310 Mid-Term Assignment
General Instructions
1) Open a blank word-processing file.
2) Save it, using the following file name schema: Surname
Initial Midterm, allowing your software to provide the file name
extension, e.g., doc or docx. (In case you were unfamiliar with
the term your surname is your last or family name.) Thus, if I
were creating such a file in Microsoft Word, my file name
would be Ingre D Midterm.docx.
3) Do not make any changes to the file you are now reading.
(My original will in any case remain unchanged on the Moodle
site.) you do not need to return this file to me.
4) Once you have completed the assignment, submit your file as
an attachment to an email sent as usual through the UCW
DropBox.
I hope to return it to you, with a Midterm Marking Sheet, by
May 27.For Part I
1) Copy and paste all of Part I of this assignment (the file you
are reading) into your just saved file. Thus, in Microsoft Word,
for example:
a) Click just to the left of the words Part I (30 points)
b) Scroll down and, holding down the Shift key, click to the
right of the words End of Part I on page 4.
This should select all of Part I, including the table.
c) Press CTRL+C (or click on Copy).
d) Go to your new file, click at the top of the first page, and
press CTRL+V (or click on Paste).
e) If offered the choice, choose Merge Formatting.
2) Follow the instructions for completing Part I.
3) When you have finished inserting your answers, insert a hard
page break to move to a new page.
a) In Microsoft Word, click at the point you want to insert the
page break.
b) Press CTRL+Enter to insert the hard page break.For Part II
1) Read through Part II carefully
2) Begin your response to Part II after the hard page break.
3) You need not copy and paste my scenario into your file.
4) After you have finished, insert another hard page break so
that Part III will start on a new page.For Part III
1) Begin Part III on the new page of your file.
2) Read through Part III carefully.
3) Remember that I must be able to easily identify which
response is the answer to which question within the memo you
submit to me as Part III.
Part I (30 points)
Indicate whether you think the statements in the left-hand
column are true or false, by typing a T (for True) or F (for
False) in the right-hand column of the respective row. (One
point each)
1. Authors of technical documents should not generally expect
their audiences to devote their full attention to the
communication.
2. With regard to transactional models, external interference
refers exclusively to interruptions outside the building in which
an oral presentation is taking place.
3. Proposals that are submitted without a request are called
solicited.
4. Information and connotation are, in fact, the same thing.
5. No information should ever be repeated in a technical
document..
6. For all technical writing, a paragraph should be 8–15 lines in
length.
7. A short report is always written for readers within the
writer’s organization.
8. The main goal of an informative report is to provide analysis
and justification sufficient to convince your audience to accept
your recommendation(s).
9. Conducting a CMAPP analysis is useful only in the creation
of long, formal documents.
10. The information in analytical reports need not be presented
in the same order in which the writer gathered the information.
11. Good technical communication requires the extensive use of
jargon.
12. Formality of language is not the principal distinction
between formal and informal reports.
13. The CMAPP model is a linear process.
14. As part of a formal, multi-level outline, the following
sequence violates the principle of parallelism.
II. Agricultural Implements
A) Tractors
1. Motorized
B) Planters
C) Threshers
15. You should be concerned about cultural referents even when
dealing with a homogenous audience that is fluent in the same
language you use.
16. Evaluative summaries always assess the calibre of the logic
of the original document.
17. Your textbook’s definition of “correct” language specifies
“what every native speaker always says”.
18. Instructions—and, therefore, user guides—must make
abundant use of graphics, tables, and highlighting.
19. A report’s level of technicality is determined exclusively by
whether the report is lateral or vertical.
20. Unless a copyright restriction has been indicated, something
available on the Web should be considered to be in the public
domain.
21. It is always easier to write an effective and successful
internal solicited proposal than an internal unsolicited one.
22. With regard to formal, multi-level outlines, the principle of
division could be considered an exercise in arithmetic.
For each question in the left-hand column, indicate which of the
choices you consider the best, by writing its letter on the
respective row in the right-hand column. (One point each)
23. Technical writers should generally avoid using
a) analogies
b) the active voice
c) comparisons and contrasts
d) euphemisms
24. The deductive strategy would typically be more effective to
persuade an audience that
a) already understands the overall issue.
b) you have never met.
c) is emotionally involved in the issue.
d) has a reputation for reacting negatively to others’ arguments.
25. For a vertical analytical report whose primary audience is
technical and whose secondary audience is lay, would you
typically
a) construct two reports—one for the primary audience and one
for the secondary?
b) write only at the higher level of technicality required by your
primary audience?
c) write only at the lower level of technicality required by your
secondary audience?
d) write the report at the higher level of technicality, but
include a “supplement” of some kind (e.g., an executive
summary) at a lower level of technicality?
26. Which of the following best defines “process description”?
a) It focuses on delineating the physical characteristics of its
subject.
b) It allows an audience to learn how to do something new.
c) It explains how things work or are done or made.
d) It seeks to identify each step in a complex procedure.
27. Which of the following should be used to create specific
instructions in a user guide?
a) the active voice
b) the passive voice
c) the imperative mood
d) the introductory epithet
28. Which of the following headings within a formal, multi-
level outline would contravene the principle of parallelism?
a) Introduction
Week 05 Posting - Reports.docx COMM 310 Posting for Week .docx
Week 05 Posting - Reports.docx COMM 310 Posting for Week .docx
Week 05 Posting - Reports.docx COMM 310 Posting for Week .docx
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Week 05 Posting - Reports.docx COMM 310 Posting for Week .docx

  • 1. Week 05 Posting - Reports.docx COMM 310: Posting for Week 5—Reports Don’t forget that the User Guide CMAPP Analysis assignment—a Group assignment—is due this week. That means that I should receive one assignment file from each group. Reports—An Overview I’m going to presume that you’ve read Chapter 11 of Engineering Communication. As it points out, no one ever gets up in the morning and says, “You know… I think I want to write a report, today!” You write a report for one reason only: someone (almost always a single individual) has asked for it. And, in CMAPP terms, the person who has asked you for the report is almost always going to be your primary audience. You’ll recall that, generally speaking, we can discern two broad categories of reports: You’ll likewise recall that the terms short and long no longer refer simply to length. In fact, a long short report may be longer than a short long report. And, as I’ll remind you shortly (excuse
  • 2. the pun!), the distinction relates more to the reports’ structural conventions. I cannot imagine your being able to pursue a professional career without writing reports. The kinds of reports you will need to produce will depend, of course, on the kind of work you do. It’s likely that very few of you will need to create long/formal reports. Although many people in an organization often contribute information towards a long report—a company’s Annual Report to Shareholders, for example—relatively few actually take part in writing it. Almost certainly, though, you’ll have write a variety of short/informal reports. Consequently, this course focuses much more on those. I would also recommend to you the (Word 2003) file (available on April 24, 2014, from http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo tes_sp10.doc), BEIT 336 Business Report Writing Study Notes by Sandra J. Nelson of the School of Business at Indiana State University. Admittedly, the document is lengthy—over 60 pages. Nonetheless, her advice and examples are informative and worthwhile. In this week’s website section, you’ll see two folders that I’ve posted for you. Reports – General Information and Sample Reports. Let me allude to the latter, first, by citing its folder description: (published by Southwestern), Survivor's Guide to Technical Writing. As a kind of "source credit", I include a JPEG scan of that book's
  • 3. front cover. the classification of short reports mentioned on page 154 of Engineering Communication. As I indicate there, however, I believe you will be better served by treating each report as a particular piece of technical communication, created by applying a CMAPP analysis. explanatory marginalia. You will find general information on formal/long reports on pages 157–159 of your textbook. http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo tes_sp10.doc –2– Although I think these samples might prove useful to you, I do caution you against using any of them as a “template” for your Feasibility Proposal Report or your Revised Project Plan… or, for that matter, for the short report you’re likely to have to create as part of the Midterm for your Week 7 assignment. B) Observations re the PowerPoint files Now, please open Overview of Reports.pptx from the Reports – General Information folder. I’d suggest you run it in Slide Show mode; items will appear
  • 4. consecutively on a mouse click or on pressing the space bar. Overall, this file is a review of the material in your textbook. However, I’d like to offer additional observations with regard to some of the slides. 1) Slide #2 shows some of the reasons—often more than one, simultaneously—that people create reports. For example, I think I’ve already mentioned that my wife is a nurse in a local hospital. There, she must regularly complete “charting” for her patients; in effect, she creates reports—organized information in response to an expressed need. Such a report is necessary for the hospital’s administration requirements; it helps nurses and doctors make decisions regarding the patient; it provides precise information about the patient and his/her treatment; it facilitates later interpretation of the patient’s progress, for example; it assists in meeting the hospital’s responsibility for legalities; it helps nurses and doctors in their planning for that patient and for others; it ensures permanent records of patient treatments and outcomes; and, it can help in the trend analysis that nurses, doctors, and hospital administrators find valuable. 2) Slide #3 refers to points made in Chapter 11 of the textbook. With regard to the Data > Information line, remember that many managers actually complain about being overwhelmed with data. Part of your job as a report writer is to convert the data you obtain into information that will be useful to your audience. In
  • 5. just a moment, I’ll refer in more detail to the idea of objectivity. Meanwhile, recall that if the construction and presentation of your report (or any piece of technical communication) are not professional—showing a clear application of your time, care, and attention—you audience will rightly treat it with disdain. My advice—on the right of that slide—is to conduct a CMAPP analysis and to apply the complementary attributes. 3) Slide #5 illustrates the alternative “classification” of reports mentioned in your textbook, several examples of which you’ll find in the Sample Reports folder mentioned above. 4) Slide #6 introduces the distinction between informative and evaluative reports, essentially, the difference between evaluative content versus informative content. This often overlooked distinction is a significant one, derived principally from the words you choose. At this point, I’d like to “interrupt” the slide show to discuss a distinction that, despite its importance, is often ignored, perhaps because it can be a difficult one to make. –3– C) Evaluative versus Informative Content
  • 6. 1. Short/informal reports, recall, may be either informative or evaluative. The distinction is crucial: for example, a client who requests a purely informative report will be dissatisfied to receive a report with an evaluative component—an indication of your opinions, rather than simply a recounting of 5WH (who, what, when, where, why, and how). 2. Nonetheless, evaluative reports are certainly more common in the business world, if for no other reason than the audience who has requested the report is likely to want recommendations—which are evaluative by definition: a recommendation is, in fact, the expression of the writer’s opinion of what should be done. 3. Recall, though, that an evaluative report will nonetheless encompass informative as well as evaluative components—sometimes “separated”, sometimes “mingled”. Thus, within a single report, you might use level heads (sub-headings) to differentiate one from the other. Strictly “informative” content might follow headings such as Background, or Observations, while level heads such as Analysis or Evaluation or Recommendations might introduce evaluative content. Overall, however, it is your choice of words that determine whether you are providing evaluative or informative content. And, normally, the higher the “connotative value” of your words, the more your content will be evaluative rather than informative. 4. Consider, for example, the following references I might make
  • 7. to Clifford Olson, a well- known name in BC. (Look him up if you’re not familiar with his story.) 4.1. Olson is the despicable mass murderer who rightly spent the last many years of his miserable life rotting in jail, after having massacred close to a dozen innocent BC youngsters during his reign of terror in the early 1980s. 4.2. Olson, is a man who died in 2011 in prison where he had been serving a life sentence, having been confessed to multiple counts of homicide committed during the 1980s. 5. The first sentence is clearly evaluative: its words give a strong indication of how I feel about the man and his crimes. The second, however, is informative: with low connotation and high denotation, it merely informs the audience about Olson. Notice, also, that the two items cannot be identical: they may refer to similar issues or they may deal with analogous topics… but “evaluation” and “information” cannot be the same. Neither, however, is better or worse; neither is right or wrong: they are simply different. The important thing is to distinguish one from the other, so that you can provide your audience what has been requested. 6. Now consider this sentence: University students demand a higher standard of education for their hard-earned money. Various aspects make it “evaluative”:
  • 8. 6.1. Unless you can provide data to show that all university students everywhere have been consulted, what you appear to mean, in fact, is that you think that a large number of them demand… and, by the way, how many, exactly, is a large number? Further, demand is a “loaded” word, high in connotation: you’re giving your opinion of their –4– feelings. Next, what does higher standard mean—higher than what, and assessed against which/whose criteria? Then, do all students everywhere earn their own money? Or, are you really saying that you believe that many (again, undefined…) do? And, what about hard-earned? That, too is a personal judgment. Thus, the sentence is “evaluative” rather than “informative.” 6.2. Consider, though, this sentence: Of the 72 students polled on campus on January 22, 2014, 55 stated that they were not convinced that they were getting what they felt would be good value for their fees. In this case, I am merely reporting on others’ opinions. Thus, the sentence is “informative” rather than “evaluative”. (I of course made up the survey…) I’d like to show you more examples of this; so, please open Reports – Evaluative versus Informative Content.pptx, also in the Reports – General
  • 9. Information folder, and run it in Slide Show mode. Lines will appear consecutively on mouse clicks or on pressing the space bar. a) Slide 2 briefly explains the issues. The remaining slides contain numbered pairs of sentences. b) Unless you’ve already mentioned a precise group of individuals, the first sentence of example #1 is evaluative because “everyone” could mean the entire global population—obviously not what is intended. Also, “for hours” would require that you had timed the wait of every person involved, and every wait had been of at least 120 minutes. In effect, this sentence likely means something like, “I really don’t like how long we have to wait…” There’s nothing wrong with that; but, it’s evaluative—a judgment, an opinion—not informative. Note that the second sentence of the pair simply alludes to a report—it doesn’t offer the speaker’s (or writer’s) opinion. c) In example #2, how is “hard” measured, and what does “enough” actually mean? Then, “making us”: does that mean that someone is threatening you with a gun? How many items must be in a “collection”—15, 220, 5939? Pretty obviously, this sentence expresses anger or disappointment, or dismay; but, it doesn’t convey empirical, quantitative information. The second item of the pair, though, does: it states what is inscribed on each parking meter.
  • 10. d) In example #3, what does “nuisance” really mean? It means that I don’t like it; again, it’s simply an opinion. The second item of the pair refers to facts that can be verified. e) Example #4’s “outrageous” is patently evaluative; it expresses a very strong personal bias. However, the second item of that pair is informative, because it simply reports someone else’s opinion. Notice the distinction. f) Example #5 contains at least six evaluative indicators: great (how do you measure that?), suggestion (what is a suggestion but the expression of an opinion?), sure (because it states a belief rather than a fact), really (this emphatic term is a judgment), help (in the writer’s opinion, of course), and right (once more, the writer’s opinion). The information in the second sentence of the pair, however, can be objectively verified—through meeting minutes, for example. –5– g) I think you’ll be able to deal with examples #6 h) Let’s look at example #9 on slide 5 of 6. Here are the elements that, I believe, make it evaluative:
  • 11. i) Students: which students, where? ii) can't afford: none of them can, how do you know, where’s the proof ? iii) these prices: which, exactly? Any? All? iv) they rely on student loans: do all students have student loans? Do all those who do have student loans have no other means of support? v) money they earn from their low-paying jobs: do all students have jobs, do they all have no other source of income, are all those jobs part time, and how do you define “low paying”? The second sentence of the pair, of course, simply reports on verifiable figures— i) I’ll leave you to identify the evaluative content in the other examples in this file. In the same folder, you’ll see Reports – Evaluative Content versus Informative Content Examples.pdf, which presents some additional examples of “pairs”. If you’re uncertain, post your queries. D) Overview of Reports.pptx, continued… 5) The organizational patterns shown on Slide #7 are common, particularly for informative reports. They are, in effect, the same “traditional” organization
  • 12. patterns you might have learned in high-school for writing essays. The “Segments” shown there are not headings; rather, they represent a typical—but not requisite—report structure. You might have noticed that the foundation of this tripartite structure is essentially the same one we use for most (organized) communication, regardless of the terminology, e.g., beginning > middle > end, introduction > body > conclusion. I’m not sure why this happens (perhaps someone in the psychology department has a theory?), but it clearly does. 6) Slide #8 recapitulates the information on pages 156–157 of your textbook. 7) Slide #9 offers you another example of organizing the “analysis segment” of an evaluative report, according to what your audience is likely to find most useful. Page 156 of Engineering Communication deals with the matter of fees; this slide considers the renewal of a fleet of vehicles for a company whose sales staff need to travel a great deal. Notice: the Purchasing Department will have to deal with the complexities of administering the program, from obtaining bids to arranging for insurance, to verifying travel allowance refunds, and so on; thus, they may well prefer to see the material organized by alternative (also referred to as option, as in your textbook). However, if the Finance Department is your audience, their needs will be different: they’ll have to consider the impact on this year’s budget (up-front costs), the effect on budgetary planning
  • 13. (overhead costs), as well as pay adjustments, taxes, and benefits (employee reactions). Thus, they might find it more useful for you to organize the material by criterion (also referred to as issue). –6– 8) Slides #10, #11, and #12 give a very brief summary of relevant points concerning long/formal reports. As I mentioned on page 1, though, not many of us are required to create one. (I’d nonetheless remind you of Sandra Nelson’s course document at http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo tes_sp10.doc.) 9) Slide #13 is simply a reminder for your Feasibility Proposal Report, which will be due in Week 9. Remember that a “proposal” is, by most authorities, considered a kind of report, even though it definitely constitutes persuasive communication, a topic dealt with in Week 6’s posting. Well, to paraphrase Woody Woodpecker (a cultural referent that you can investigate at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Blanc and at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1V121BOm6w), that’s all
  • 14. Don’t forget that you can post questions and comments to this week’s Forum and/or email me directly. Dave http://misnt.indstate.edu/wilhelm/ASBE%20336/NelsonStudyNo tes_sp10.doc http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Blanc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1V121BOm6w 1 Week 4 Posting: Mechanism (Technical) and Process Description, and Instructions Take warning: this week’s posting is a long one… be prepared… In the Week 4 area of the Course Website (CW), you will see a file folder called Week 4 Files. It contains the files listed below, all of which you will need to examine and/or use while reading this Week 4 Posting file. 1. Mechanism Description Overview, a PowerPoint file discussed in the Mechanism (Technical) and Process Description segment below; 2. Mechanism and Process Description URLs, a PDF file containing links to relevant websites; 3. Paper Airplane Construction Sheet, a single-page PDF file
  • 15. that, in the Written Instructions segment of this posting, you will be asked to print for use; 4. Paper Airplane Instructions, another single-page PDF file for use (in electronic or paper copy) with the Paper Airplane Construction sheet; 5. Instructions, a PowerPoint file mentioned in the Written Instructions segment of this posting file; 6. Written Instructions URLs, a PDF file containing links to relevant websites; 7. Instructions-Samples, a PDF file referred to in the Written Instructions segment of this posting file; 8. Instructions-Odd and CYA, a PDF file showing a number of somewhat bizarre “instructions” found on commercial products. I would ask you to open and use these files in the order and fashion specified in this posting. A) Mechanism (Technical) and Process Description While your textbook uses the term Mechanism Description, may communicators prefer the term Technical Description. For our purposes, we will consider the terms synonymous. Further, many authorities consider process description as a kind of “complement” to technical description. Nonetheless, the former term is usually applied to a description of “how something works”, while the latter is customarily considered a description of “what something looks like”. Regardless of how—or even whether—you choose to make the distinction, it is inevitable that you will be required to produce lucid and precise descriptions in the workplace.
  • 16. The factors that will most influence the effectiveness of your description will be those that determine the efficacy of your other professional writing—they are the ones that I refer to as the CMAPP complementary attributes: accuracy, brevity, clarity, concision, accessibility, precision, and—perhaps above all—“keep it simple, stupid”. You should also remember that you might need mechanism or process description for a piece of communication whose primary purpose is any of the four defined in the CMAPP model: descriptive, informative, instructive, or persuasive. For example, you might need a detailed mechanism description of a piece of equipment to help persuade a potential client to purchase your company’s product. In a sense, it’s unimportant what you actually do in COMM 310 this week or even this semester. Probably quite significant, however, is what you learn to do and/or what habits you pick up; these should serve you over the next several decades of your working life. In this light, I’d like to draw your particular attention to some of the slides in Mechanism Description Overview.pptx. Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 2
  • 17. The last line of Slide #2 is an abbreviated version of a quip that was popular when I was an undergraduate: Caution: be sure to put brain into gear before putting mouth into motion. It is a reminder to think before you act. Before you begin writing a description–or any other piece of technical communication, of course, determine who your audience is and what that audience already knows and wants and needs to know. Identify your primary purpose. Suppose you’re “describing” a particular HP DeskJet printer. Note that (in CMAPP terms) your “description” might be to support an instructive purpose: you want your audience to know how to use it or even how to repair it; your description might fit in with a persuasive purpose—to convince your audience to buy a Hewlett Packard rather than a Canon printer, for instance. Obviously, you’ll have to decide how best to organize your description. Slide #3 lists a few of the most common organization patterns. In fact, they’re likely the same ones you learned in high-school for essay writing. Notice that to describe a golf course, you might pick a chronological organization pattern: start at the first hole and end at the 18th (or, perhaps, at the Clubhouse?); however, you might instead have chosen a geographical organization pattern: first, the overview of the course, then each fairway, then, each green, then the sand-traps, and so on. Slides #4 and #5 distinguish different kinds of “precision”. Your context and your audience will determine what is “appropriately precise” and what will not work at the time. Spiral, for example, is in fact a two- dimensional concept, while helix refers to a three-dimensional shape. However, although telling a real-estate agent or a finishing carpenter that you want your house to have a “helical staircase” might be technically quite
  • 18. precise, it will be quite incorrect in its context and its audience. Analogously, if your friend, planning a week’s vacation in the Kelowna area in late July, asks you what the weather’s likely to be, you might quite appropriately offer the vague (but correct for the context and audience), “it gets extremely hot there in the summer... take a hat and lots of sun screen.” Your friend would likely be unhappy with a technically specific answer such as a recitation of the numbers in the figure below. Figure 1: Kelowna temperatures (Source: http://www.eldoradocountyweather.com/canada/climate2/Kelow na.html) Conversely, if you were describing the manufacture of specific metal alloys, it would be both imprecise and incorrect to offer something like, “you’ve got to get the stuff really, really hot”; rather, you’d need something like, “the aluminum will melt when the temperature reaches 660º Celsius”, which is both precise and correct for its audience and context. Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 http://www.eldoradocountyweather.com/canada/climate2/Kelow na.html 3
  • 19. Note, too, that some “descriptors” can be considered “absolute” while others are “relative”. The points of the compass, for example, are absolute, while the directions left and right are relative—they depend on which way you are facing. Note, however, that the relative terms become “absolute” when they follow one of the absolute terms. For example, if I ask you to walk 50 metres North and then turn left, the “relative” term left has become an “absolute”: you will inevitably be walking West. Is it always appropriate to use absolute terms such as the compass directions? You should consider what you know about your audience and, of course, the context. Consider, for example, my late sister, Anna, a highly intelligent, graduate-degree-holding, well-respected clinical therapist. However, she was one of the many people who, for whatever reason, could never “relate to” compass directions. (Perhaps that describes you or someone you know, too.) Furthermore, she was also one of those people who, regardless of very significant intellect and education, are somehow unable to quickly relate to the terms “left” and “right”. For the last several decades of her life, Anna lived in a West-coast American city, where I often drove to visit her. Since she didn’t like to drive, we usually took my car when we went out, and she would give me directions. Often, she would say something like, “you’ll be turning left at the next traffic light.” I would then start to move into the left-hand lane… and Anna would say, “No—the other left”, and point to her right. When she had time to “think about it”, she did, of course, understand left and right… but she had no instinctive “feel” for them. Once more alluding to my sister, here is another illustration of how “vague” might be “appropriately precise”, depending on audience and context. Years ago, I lived
  • 20. near a neighbourhood called Ocean Park, part of the city of Surrey. The first time Anna and her husband were going to drive up to visit us, she had asked how to get to our house from the Canada/US border. Imagine how she would have reacted if I’d told her the following, for example. “Take the first exit and proceed West- bound for 8.3 kilometres; then turn North and proceed 0.7 km, to 49°2’18” N. latitude, 22°9’12” W. longitude.” Those directions (which I have, in fact, “falsified” here…) might be technically precise; but, even if she expected her husband to be driving (and his sense of direction was actually very good), would, rightly, have exasperated and annoyed her. She would have much preferred something like the “vague” but “appropriately precise” response of, “Take the first exit past the border and then take the lane marked 8th Avenue; stay on it for about 10 minutes, noting that it becomes Marine Drive, until you see a sign for 132nd Street on your right (there is no corner on your left); follow 132nd Street for just under two minutes, until you see our house on your right; you’ll see the two red rocking chairs on the front porch, just beside the driveway on which you’ll see my car.” Slide #6 refers to nouns and adjectives that offer analogies, which can be very useful in description. However, you need to recall that cultural referents are going to have an important impact. For example, if you told your friends that you’d just gone to live on property in the still somewhat rural Aldergrove area about an hour East of Vancouver, and that your lot was “about the size of three football fields”, they’d likely understand sufficiently well—regardless of whether they were aware of the fact that, for most of the world, “football” refers to the game we call “soccer”, or that the American NFL football field is not the same size as the
  • 21. Canadian CFL field—or even what the precise dimensions of any of those fields would be. If you tell a North American that something is about the size of a nickel, your description may be appropriate—unless, of course, your description is part of manufacturing specifications; even in casual conversation, however, that analogy will be as meaningless to most Europeans as “about the size of a Euro would be to most Canadians. Analogously, in my life, I don’t need to differentiate colour, tint, shade, and hue; nor do I need to correctly distinguish cyan, aquamarine, chromium, or tangerine. However, if you are dealing with a painter—whether one who practises interior design or one who creates art on canvas, those precise distinctions can become significant. Slide #7 is a reminder of the issues you need to consider before you decided on visuals for mechanism or process description. Chapter 6 of your textbook (which becomes a required reading only for Week 9, but which you might want to at least glance at now) deals with these issues in more detail. For the moment, consider the following points: Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 4 • Do you need visuals? Will they help your audience “see and understand” better?
  • 22. • If so, how many should you use? • Should you use a photo, a line drawing, a graph, a table, or something else? What should each of those visuals depict? Should the visual be in colour? If you’re showing an electrical wiring diagram, for example, you need to recall that wiring is colour-coded; thus, black and white or grey scale could lead to dangerous misinterpretation. However, how are you planning to “publish” the description? If you’re going to need 6,000 paper copies, you might need to consider the very significant cost increase for colour printing. • Where should you place each of the visuals? Should you have the text “wrap” around a visual, or should the visual be “by itself ”—on the left, in the centre, on the right? • How big should it be? It needs to be small enough to fit where you’ve decided it should go; however, it needs to be large enough so that whatever details you think are necessary will remain legible for your audience at the time. • And, should you use small scale or large scale? If you use small scale, your audience will be able to “locate” items within a larger “whole”, but not see detail; if you use large scale, the detail will be clear, but not the “location”. Again, you need to think about your audience and your context. Slides #8 and #9 can be considered simple “review” of part of Chapter 8 of your textbook; however, you might want to have a look at the example (likely still available at the URL provided) at the bottom of #9.
  • 23. Slide #10 is very much like what you’ll also see in your textbook. It represents the “beginning” of what is becoming an increasingly common type of description—one that is meant to be read and used on line. Thus, it makes use of hyperlinks. The problem in constructing such a description is deciding what links to create. Obviously, it’s technically easy to create links from every major component to every other major component and to every sub-component, and from every sub-component to every other sub-component, and from all of those to an introduction and to a summary, and between the introduction and the summary. However, doing so results in a kind of “navigation clutter” that would make it all but impossible for any audience to deal with your description usefully. Thus, the real difficulty lies in deciding what links to actually create within the on- line document. You might want to look at the two examples linked to on that slide. Both—though particularly the Wikipedia site—illustrate the potential “navigation” links, many of which are likely unnecessary in the context. You might want to try constructing a brief description of the corkscrew in slide #11. You’re likely to find that it’s deceptively simple... and, in fact, such a description will be useful only if you’ve laid out a precise scenario first—whether you do so by means of a CMAPP analysis or any other tool that allows to know what you are doing, for whom, for what reason, and so forth. Incidentally, were you already familiar with the technical terms for all the parts of that corkscrew? Would your audience be? What would you have to explain? How would you construct that explanation, and are you ensuring that the level of technicality of that explanation is congruent with your audience’s?
  • 24. Slide #12’s hockey rink illustrates unnecessary clutter in a visual, caused by not having identified what an audience needs/wants to know. For example, someone using the diagram to paint the lines on a new rink prior to laying down the ice, will need the specific dimensions, but will not really need to know either the names or the precise locations of the players’ benches—but would need to know whether the layout is for international or NHL play. Conversely, if you intended using the diagram to help teach eight-year-olds to play, you’d likely want the identifying terms such as blue line, goal crease, and so forth; however, those kids would have no need whatever for the precise dimensions. Finally, can you identify an audience and a context that would require everything in that diagram? (I’m not sure I can…) The last slide provides links (valid at time of writing) to four sites that can provide a good deal of help. Don’t try to “re-invent the wheel”: make use of what others have developed and have made available to you. Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 5 B. Written Instructions One way or another, you will need to create written instructions. For example, you may attend a seminar or information session, and then be asked to produce instructions for other employees to learn what you
  • 25. acquired; you may be asked to leave detailed instructions for another employee while you are away on vacation; even in your personal life, you may need to leave instructions for someone who is taking care of your home while you are away, or to take care of pets or children. Look before you leap Perhaps the greatest difficulty with regard to effective written instructions is the fact that most people don’t read them carefully—or, at least, don’t implement them attentively. Suppose, for example, you come into class to write a final exam worth 25% of your course grade. Your professor quickly reminds you of the standard exam conditions—no communicating with others, etc.—and stresses that everyone will have the same amount of time, but not a moment longer, and so forth. When finally given permission to begin, you turn over the exam paper, and, at the top, you see the following. NAM E _____________________________ DAT E _____________________ INSTRUCTIONS a) Print your name and today's date in the space provided above. b) Answer all questions thoughtfully and honestly. This test is designed to measure various things. Its results may well count as part of your course grade. c) Do not consult your textbook(s) or other sources while doing the test.
  • 26. d) Do not ask any questions of the instructor or proctor during the test. If you are unable to decide how to answer a particular question, follow your initial reaction. e) Do each section and each question within each section in sequential order. Do not go back to any question within a section or to previous section once you have moved on. f) Read through the entire test carefully before continuing. g) Unless otherwise instructed, write all your answers on this page. If you are like most people, you will glance quickly—if at all—at the instructions, and then begin to answer the exam questions as quickly as you can. You will continue to do so, even if you begin to feel that some of them seem a tad bizarre—for example, when you reach the following. 6. Count the number of desks in this room, multiply that by the number of doors in the room, and add to that result, the number of students present. 7. Review your answer to question number 4. Now, indicate by Yes or No whether you would change it if you were permitted to do so. 8. Check your pulse by placing a finger on your carotid artery in your neck and counting how many beats you feel in 15 seconds and multiplying by four. Write that number as your answer.
  • 27. 9. Print your name in upper case block characters at the top of the other side of this page. 10. Estimate, in metres, the distance between the front of your desk and the blackboard; add to that figure, the number of students in the class, and write that total as your answer. Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 6 However, like most of your fellows, you “slog on”... until you come to the last question: 35. Answer only Question 1. Ignore all other parts of this test. Look up for 3–4 seconds, and smile sheepishly to show you have understood. Pretend to continue to work so as not to disturb others who have not yet reached your embarrassed understanding. Why would most students not have read question #35 without having attempted the intervening questions? They would likely have tried those questions primarily because of the effect of the proverb, “familiarity breeds contempt.” We say to ourselves: I’ve done this many times before; exams always say to read through carefully; there’s never any point; I’m in a hurry; I need to get going on the questions so I have time to
  • 28. finish... and so on. In other words, we are quite certain that we don’t need to really pay attention to the instructions, since we really do know what we’re doing... regardless of the context. Here’s a quick “reality check”. Every year in this country, people are injured, people are maimed, and people die—because they didn’t follow instructions attentively. Most of the time, such readily preventable accidents occur when danger is an inherent part of the activities— working with high-tension electrical equipment or with heavy machinery, logging, construction, mining, and so forth. So, although your own situation may not include these kinds of occupational hazards, you would likely want the person taking care of your home or your pet or your child to read and follow your instructions carefully. This might be a good time to look through David McMurray’s Online Technical Writing: Instructions page at https://www.prismnet.com/~hcexres/textbook/instrux.html. Take a few minutes to do so. A Little Experiment Before you do anything else, open and print both of the one- page files, Paper Airplane Construction Sheet and Paper Airplane Instructions. Now, how long do you think it should take you to fold a paper airplane? Do you think that three minutes should be sufficient? Allowing yourself no more than three minutes, follow the Paper Airplane Instructions to create a paper airplane from the Paper Airplane Construction Sheet. If you’re like most people in most of the classes I’ve shown
  • 29. this to, you’ll probably give up in frustration without being able to complete the task—even if, like many of them, you refuse to stop after your three Let me tell you where this “experiment” comes from. It’s simply one of the templates available in Microsoft Publisher 2010. If you have the program, open it, and, under More Templates, click on Paper Folding Projects, and then, under Office.com Templates, choose Paper airplane (Stubby design). You’ll see that you can generate both the construction sheet I used (though I replaced its “decal” with the UCW logo) and the instruction sheet. Here are some observations. Who created these instructions? We can probably assume a Microsoft employee—let’s call that person Fred. Was Fred deliberately trying to create bad, frustrating instructions? Likely the opposite: he wanted to provide something that users would find fun, and that would enhance their enjoyment of the program. Did Fred know how to create that Stubby? I’m convince he did. In fact, I don’t think you can create usable instructions if you don’t know how to “do it” yourself. Did Fred test his instructions? I believe that, as a bright, conscientious employee, he did. But, I think he probably tested them by trying them himself. And, of course, they worked for him… in large part, because he already knew how to do it. He should have asked someone who did not know how to create the Stubby to test them. We need to remember that instructions are supposed to be for someone who needs them, who does not already know how to effect the task. And Fred seemed to forget that.
  • 30. Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 https://www.prismnet.com/%7Ehcexres/textbook/instrux.html 7 Let me tell you another (true) story. My father, with whom I had been close friends for many years was almost 95 when he died. A well-educated professional (who had, by the way, known a fellow you might have heard of, by the name of Albert Einstein… but that’s another story…), he had been a civil engineer for most of his life. However, he had never learned to type, and had never sat at a computer monitor—although, he had employees who of course did use computers in the office. One day, he decided that he’d like to learn enough about computers to decide if he really wanted to learn to actually use one. So, unsurprisingly, he asked me to help him. Less than an hour into our little “training session”, we were both becoming frustrated and angry, and decided we didn’t want to prejudice the friendship, despite his not having learned anything. So, I asked my wife—a nurse of many years’ experience—if she would spend a bit of time with him. (Note that Bettie had always disliked computers and had never become proficient; rather, she often asked me how to do this or that. To my occasional query of, “Why don’t you just learn to use the software?” her standard response was, “I don’t need to; you live here.”) She and my father were also good friends, and they got together for his “lesson”. After a couple of hours, he had learned enough to decide that he had no further interest. They both remained pleased with the experience.
  • 31. So, why was the “class” so unsuccessful for my father and me, but effective for him and Bettie—apart, perhaps, from her being a nicer human being than I? Fundamentally, it was her level of expertise was close to his, while I could no longer put myself in the position of someone who knew nothing at all. In a sense, I was like Fred, trying to create the paper airplane instructions. Note that sometimes, your audience cannot follow instructions because they “know too much”, and sometimes because they “know too little”. Let me illustrate. Suppose I give you the following numbers: 3, 5, 7. Your instruction is to provide the next number in the series. If you are familiar only with standard arithmetic series, you’ll have no trouble giving 9 as the next number. However, if you are familiar with prime numbers, you can’t follow the instruction: you don’t know whether the next number would be 9 or 11. In fact, you “know too much”. Now consider this series: 6, 9, 12, 16, 25, 33, 41. Again, your instruction is to give the next number. Are you having trouble? I’ll help: it’s 49. Now, what’s the next one? Still having trouble? It’s 57. What are the last two? Most of you, I think, won’t be able to give the correct answers—63 and 70—because you “don’t know enough”. In this case, you don’t know the context. Open a web browser to Google Maps, and look for Oak Street in Vancouver. Oak is a main street running North/South. From North to South, it is intersected by major East/West streets: 6th Avenue, Broadway (which is 9th Avenue), 12th Avenue, 16th Avenue, King Edward (which is 25th), 33rd Avenue, 41st Avenue, 49th Avenue, 57th Avenue, Park Drive (which is 63rd Avenue), and
  • 32. 70th Avenue—the last main intersection before the Oak Street Bridge into Richmond. Now, put aside your annoyance, and remember: when you provide instructions, you should think about (the CMAPP ideas of) what your audience already knows, along with what they need/want to know. Now…let’s return to Fred’s Stubby instructions, and identify a few more of the issues that made them difficult to follow. Glancing very quickly at that page, how many visuals are there in the top third of the page? Some people’s first reaction is “six”; some people’s is “seven”. How could that happen with such a small number? We tend to see two “kinds” of visuals there: a group of six on the left, and a “different” seventh on the right. We also presume that the six refer to “building” the plane, while the seventh shows the “finished product”—and it shows the plan “in flight”, an assumption engendered by our almost unconscious notice of the four diagonal lines to its lower left. And yet, Fred has not told us any of this. Rather, we need to postpone our automatic attempt to deal with the visuals, and look to his text. There, we see his heading, THE PLANE, which we intuit to be the instructions for building the item. Apparently, there are seven instructions there. But, note that I (and you, likely) had to “count the bullets”. If Fred had numbered them instead, we would have all but instantaneously known that the list contained seven items. And, that’s what he should have done: used a numbered list rather than a bulleted list. Doing so would have made later reference much easier. Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and
  • 33. Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 8 Well, his first instruction is fairly straightforward, providing we presume (and we don’t “know” because we need these instructions…) that all the lines on the page are “fold lines”. What is his second instruction? In fact, it contains five separate instructions: 1) fold forward 2) crease 3) open back up 4) fold back 5) reopen It shouldn’t. Unless all but impossible, we should have one instruction per instruction. It is always easier for an audience to deal with several short instructions than with one long, “composite” one. His third now tells us to “pull and tuck the folds together as shown in the first two drawings.” Apparently, we had no use for any of the visuals that we saw before beginning his instructions, but we now need the first two. But, which two—are we to use the first two in the top row of three, or the two in the first column of two? We don’t know; but, why didn’t he number the visuals, as he definitely should have done? Let’s suppose we do manage to complete his five “non-
  • 34. numbered” items. We’ve finished, haven’t we? Well, wait: now we see three more visuals—also unnumbered. Further, these are large scale, and so we can’t tell where they would be located on the small-scale visuals at the top of the page. And now, we see another heading, THE ADJUSTABLE FLAPS. Fred seems to assume that everyone wanting to have fun with Microsoft Publisher’s paper airplanes will know what flaps are, where they will be on the Stubby, and why they need to be adjustable. Did you know those things? And what instructions—again, not numbered—does he give? First is to “Cut on sides”. Ah… So, he assumed we knew that we were going to need scissors. How so? And then, he instructs us to “Fold up to make the plane rise… fold down to make the plane drop.” But, wait: according to the first set of instructions, we’ve already thrown the plane. And, would we be expected to “fold” the flaps while the Stubby is flying? And, now he cautions us that, depending on the printer we used—presumably for the construction sheet, we may not even have those flaps. Remember: the instructions were supposed to be for someone who does not yet know how to create the Stubby. Yet, now we see another set of large scale visuals, followed by the heading, THE STICK-UP TAIL When we read the supposed instructions for this segment, we might ask which “two angled fold lines”, and what is the “top”, here? Finally, we see one more set of unexplained, large-scale visuals, followed by THE FASTENING CLIP. And now, we might ask: 1) Why would we need to fasten anything on a single sheet of paper? 2) Where is this “clip” on the plane?
  • 35. 3) How were we to know that we’d need scissors? 4) Does it matter to which side we fold it? 5) What about the fact that we had already thrown the completed plane? Remember that one of the most common problems with instructions is that they may work well for someone who already knows “how to do it” and needs simply a “reminder”, but they are not clear enough or practical enough for the person who really needs them—the person who has never learned to do it. Do you think that Fred might have succeeded better if he had been familiar with the chapters you’ve already read in your textbook? Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 9 In Conclusion I’d now like you to have a look through the five slides in the Instructions.pptx file. They are simply a very quick review of some of the main points covered on pages 106–108 of Chapter 8 of your text. However, you’ll find additional information—and slightly different points of view—in the web items offered through the links in the Written Instructions URLs file. I suggest you read them, too. Please examine the four sets of instructions found in
  • 36. Instructions-Samples. They are scans of instructions for items I have owned. 1) The Black & Decker electric power drill pages illustrate some of the same problems we saw with Fred’s Stubby instructions. This time, though, you can be confused in both English and French. Since I do happen to speak French, I noticed that those instructions are no better than their English counterparts; and, it is at times quite apparent that the instructions were written first in English, and then translated—not always particularly well, and certainly without considering whether the French- speaking audience would be using European French, Quebec French, or one of the other varieties of the language used around the world in which Black & Decker wishes to sell. 2) The Alexor home alarm system cover page shows what happens when poorly printed sheets of relatively flimsy paper are then copied. The Access Code Programming page was, to me, a source of great frustration, and I eventually called the alarm company’s “tech support”; even their technician didn’t quite understand the instructions on that page; and, it turned out that some of its instructions referred to an earlier version of the alarm panel. 3) The four Your Pocket Guide page-panels for the MP3 player were not much of a delight to use. First, the actual size of each panel was approximately 4"×2", which meant that the print was miniscule; second, the quality of the reproduction was quite poor; third, some of the language use clearly evidenced bad translation for an original; and, finally, some of the instructions simply did not work
  • 37. on the player that the instructions accompanied. 4) By stark contrast, the eight-page Hamilton Beach Toastsation booklet demonstrates that good instructions can be created. Your only likely problem with them will be that the PDF file you have will not, in fact, produce real toasted bagels. Finally, you should view the Instructions-Odd and CYA slides. They offer examples of some of the more bizarre instructions or warnings that are put on commercial items. In many cases, those cautions likely appear in deference to the CYA Principle. (On the very “off chance” you didn’t know: CYA = Cover Your Ass.) The implication, of course, is that the manufacturer believed that someone, somewhere, was going to be foolish (read “stupid”) enough to do what they were explicitly warning against. (Sadly, the company was likely correct…) Thus, they felt the need to print their “disclaimer”. That’s it for this week. I hope you’ll post questions and comments in the Week 4 Forum. And, don’t forget that your Article Review assigment should be in my Inbox by 6:00pm on Tuesday, April 29. Cheers. Dave Week 4 Posting - Mechanism-Technical Description and Instructions.docx ©DIWIS 2014 Week 4 Posting: Mechanism (Technical) and Process Description, and InstructionsA) Mechanism (Technical) and Process DescriptionB. Written InstructionsLook before you leapA Little ExperimentIn Conclusion
  • 38. Week 2 Posting: Communication Models (Transactional and CMAPP) For this week, your textbook readings were Chapter 2—The CMAPP Analysis, Chapter 3—Complementary Attributes of the CMAPP Model, and Chapter 5—From Data to Information of the textbook. I hope that my posting, and the files to which I’ll refer you, will give you a clearer understanding of those chapters and of how you may apply their information. The Words of Communication People have been talking to each other for untold generations. If you’re interested in the history of language, you might want to begin on sites such as the ones below. • http://grammar.about.com/od/grammarfaq/a/Where-Does- Language-Come-From.htm • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_language • http://www.exploratorium.edu/exploring/language/ • http://www.economist.com/node/18557572 By the way, how many languages are there? You can find opinions at the following sites, for example. • http://www.linguisticsociety.org/content/how-many- languages-are-there-world • http://www.ling.upenn.edu/courses/Fall_2011/ling001/world_la nguages.html Part of the problem in counting them is that different linguists have different opinions on what constitutes a language versus a dialect. Have a look, for example, at
  • 39. • http://www.nsf.gov/news/special_reports/linguistics/dialects.jsp , or • https://www.ethnologue.com/about/problem-language- identification Regardless of how really did originate and develop—and, apart from the certainty expressed by some “creation theorists”, we will likely never really know—it is clear that human language is at once very simple and extraordinarily complex. It’s simple in that every language seems to use a quite limited number of what are called phonemes—sounds that, within that language, have distinct meaning, and that, regardless of how you “count” words, people seem able to get across basic meanings using very few of them. On the other hand, the number of phonemes used in contemporary languages is enormous, though, apparently, much smaller than the number of sounds the human vocal apparatus can produce. Even the way that today’s languages may be related to each other through their histories is not clear cut. The following sites offer slightly different points of view. • http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/languagefamilies.html • http://www.krysstal.com/langfams.html • http://aboutworldlanguages.com/language-families And we haven’t even considered the phonemes that might have been used by languages no longer with us. Languages have died out or are moribund in all the continents besides Antarctica. See the following, for example.
  • 40. • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_death • http://www.unesco.org/culture/languages-atlas/ • http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/29/magazine/29LANGUAGE. html Still, human language seems to continue to display a number of constants. Among them is our ability to ©DIWIS 2014 http://grammar.about.com/od/grammarfaq/a/Where-Does- Language-Come-From.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_language http://www.exploratorium.edu/exploring/language/ http://www.economist.com/node/18557572 http://www.linguisticsociety.org/content/how-many-languages- are-there-world http://www.ling.upenn.edu/courses/Fall_2011/ling001/world_la nguages.html http://www.nsf.gov/news/special_reports/linguistics/dialects.jsp https://www.ethnologue.com/about/problem-language- identification http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/languagefamilies.html http://www.krysstal.com/langfams.html http://aboutworldlanguages.com/language-families http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_death http://www.unesco.org/culture/languages-atlas/ http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/29/magazine/29LANGUAGE. html differentiate words. But, what is a “word”? Most of us, of course, believe we know exactly what a word is. So, what is your answer to that question? When I ask it in class, I
  • 41. tend to get certain replies… for which I express some concerns. Consider: Answer 1: A word is a group of letters that we understand. Comment 1: This implies that only languages that are written can contain words. There have been many languages—and, probably, still are some—that have never been committed to writing… and yet they obviously have words. Comment 2: It also implies that only languages that use alphabets can have words. Chinese, spoken by hundreds of millions of people, however, doesn’t use an alphabet: it uses a different kind of writing system often called ideograms. Yet Chinese, of course, has words. Answer 2: A word is any sound that has meaning. Comment: If I scream in pain or in fear, you’d certainly understand the meaning. Yet, I don’t think you’d categorize that sound as a word. Analogously, if I loudly banged my fist on the table in anger, you’d understand my meaning, but still wouldn’t call that sound a word. I then ask for someone who speaks a language that I do not. Invariably, I find a student who speaks one; perhaps it’s Chinese, Vietnamese, Punjabi, Farsi, Swahili, or Albanian. Let’s suppose the student speaks Urdu. I ask the person to stand in front of me, and I say something like, “Suppose you start to shake my hand, and, with a smile on your face, say to me in Urdu, the equivalent of ‘Ingre, you are one miserable, sorry-assed, son of a bitch!” What will I do?” Once the smiles and chuckles
  • 42. have stopped, I explain: “I’ll shake your hand, smile back, and say, ‘Thank you; pleased to meet you, too…’ Now, when you said those bad things to me, what did I actually hear?” Think about that for a moment. Now, here’s my own response. I heard noises—ones produced by the human voice. That’s all. I did not hear what I could identify as words, because I don’t speak the language. So, on one very important level, words are simply bunches of noises. However—and this a gigantic “however”— as soon as groups of people begin to attribute meaning to those bunches of noises, the impact is absolutely enormous. Reflect for a moment. From my own cursory knowledge of history, it seems that throughout human civilization, people have been persecuted, jailed, or executed—simply for making noises. I find that both astonishing and a bit frightening. It is, though, reality: people imbue bunches of noises they make with meaning… and they thereby use language to communicate with each other. Communication Models As mentioned in Chapter 2, people have developed a host of different communication models to help describe and, perhaps, improve linguistic communication. (I say “linguistic”, because, of course, we use additional means as well—gesture and facial expression, for example.) Implications of the Transactional Model Among the most durable, perhaps, are the various “flavours” of the transactional model. Pages 13 and 14 of your text show two versions. In the figure on the next page, I’d like to present a third, that includes additional
  • 43. elements. You’ll note two things about this transactional model: 1. It’s predicated on the idea that communication must involve at least two people: a sender and a receiver. 2. It is a linear model: communication always proceeds in one direction—from sender to receiver. Note that if the original receiver responds to the original sender, their roles are reversed, but the “direction” of communication remains the same. Page 2 of 6 Figure: A Transactional Model (Personal sketch) Now, let’s suppose that you’re going to be the sender. The first thing you need to do is decide exactly what it is you want to communicate. And that, in fact, is often the hardest task. All too often, we sit down at a keyboard and start typing, thinking something like, “I have to write to so-and-so about something to do with something about that kind of thing, approximately, I think…” Naturally, we don’t do very well. When I was an undergraduate, a quip was in common circulation. “Caution: be sure to engage brain before putting mouth into motion.” Whether your want to communicate orally or in writing, you need to know—before you begin—precisely what it is that you want to say or to write.
  • 44. The next thing you need to do is encode that content—in effect, put it into language. That might begin with choosing the language. When I worked for the Canadian federal government in Ottawa, I needed to ask myself whether the content should be in English, in French, or in both. In whichever language, you’ll need to choose the right words and the right expressions, and the right grammatical structures, and so forth. Now, you’ll need to transmit that encoded content. In the transactional model, we talk about transmission channels or transmission vehicles. They’re not meant to be “rocket science”. In a face-to-face conversation between two speakers of the same language, the principal (I say principal because gesture, for example, can also be involved) transmission vehicle is sound. That means an oral (speech) / aural (hearing) process. Since no one’s oral mechanism is perfect and since no one’s aural mechanism is perfect, some “bits” get lost in transmission. We can refer to that phenomenon as interference. People who study interference say that between 5% and 15% of what the sender transmits can be lost. We usually talk about external interference and internal interference. Examples of the former would be someone entering the classroom while I’m speaking, several people coughing repeatedly, the power suddenly going out, the electronic distortion common over phone and Skype connections and so forth. Examples of the latter might be if my audience has just finished a large luncheon and is getting sleepy, if I am feeling unwell, if my audience has decided they really don’t like me, or if I’ve decided that I can’t stand my audience… Whatever parts of the transmission remain intact now have to be decoded by the receiver. Does the receiver understand the language being used—English or French, for
  • 45. example? Does the receiver know the words being used, etc.? Page 3 of 6 Then, the receiver has to interpret the decoded content. This becomes problematic because, in any language, words and expressions mean different things to different people. We usually talk about two kinds of meaning: denotation and connotation. The former might be described as the simple, empirical, dictionary definition. The latter includes this, but also encompasses the images, feelings, and responses elicited on the part of the receiver. Let me illustrate with the common English word home. Its denotation might be something like “principal residence of one or more individuals. Its connotation, though, depends on you. If you were lucky and had a happy childhood, “home” might have very positive connotations: happiness, security, comfort, laughter, etc. If you had a very unhappy childhood, though, “home” might hold very negative connotations for you: stress, anger, perhaps even danger. Interpretation of words depends in large part on the receiver. Let me tell you a true story. This happened a very long time ago, and yet, it still evokes strong emotions in me. At the end of the second week of October of 1991, I quite literally buried my best friend. Even after all these years, I can see, and feel, my reactions as though it were yesterday. We had been friends for about nine and a half years. For most of that time, he had been my best friend, and I could tell that I had
  • 46. been his. During a very difficult couple of years in my own life, it seemed that he was my only friend. So, we were very close. Some two years before he died, I learned that he had a progressive disease. At the time, no one really knew what caused it; and, there’s still no cure. So, I knew that it was going to be just a matter of time before I would lose him. When he finally succumbed, he weighed about 80 pounds. He quite literally died in my arms. I’d helped to dig his grave, and I helped to lay him in it. I’m not embarrassed to say that shortly after, I began to sob. Now, I should tell you that, three or four years before he died, when he was still hale, hearty, and active, he weighed about 85 pounds, was close to three feet high, was brown with black markings, had small floppy ears, and a little stub of a tail that seemed to go berserk when he saw me come back from work. You’re right: I’ve been talking about my dog. He was a big brindle boxer named Captain; and, everything I’ve told you is true. But, notice. As you were reading the story, you might well have been thinking, “Why would he be telling us this as part of a technical and business communications course?” And, once you realized I was talking about my dog, if you happened to really like dogs (as I obviously do), you might have thought something like, “Well, that is just so sad…” If you don’t happen to like dogs much, you might have reacted by thinking, “Sure; but it’s a damned dog!” There’s nothing wrong with either reaction, of course. What’s important, though, is the following. For the story, I chose words and expressions that tend to have high connotation. (Go back and look…) You all read the same ones; but, you responded differently—because of who you are, and, therefore, the way that you interpreted those
  • 47. words and expressions. Pretty obviously, then, the receiver’s interpretation plays a very important role in the effectiveness of communication. The process we’ve just looked at helps to explain the gap you might notice between the fantastic, wonderful, marvellous idea you want to communicate (the smiley-face in Figure 1), and the rather different reaction you get from the receiver (the sad-face in Figure 1). One of the things that can help to narrow that gap is feedback. For whatever reason, people communicate more comfortably and more effectively when there’s the opportunity for constant feedback. Try the following. The next time you’re on the phone with someone you know well, just listen. I’m sure you think that you do listen. But, here, I mean, do nothing but listen: no “uh huh… yep… oh, sure… great… awesome… OK… etc.” Listen attentively but silently. Likely within 10-20 seconds (a very short time), you’ll hear, “Hello?” The person on the other end of the line wasn’t getting any feedback. You should remember that when you send written communication, what the receiver gets is all the receiver has. There’s no opportunity for continued feedback—at least, not instantaneous. And, that makes for more difficult and, usually, more ineffective communication. Finally, understand that, in many ways, language is insufficiently precise for really accurate communication. You really cannot preclude intentional misinterpretation. However, as a practitioner of technical and business communication, part of your job is to try to lessen the likelihood of unintentional misunderstanding. In other words, you try to narrow the gap between the happy-face and the sad-face.
  • 48. Page 4 of 6 CMAPP Quite some years ago, a couple of colleagues and I were talking about discrepancies we’d noticed between what was then common textbooks for university business communication courses, and what we actually saw in the marketplace. (All of us have worked for may years in the private and/or public sectors.) The eventual result of our protracted conversations was that each of us developed a communication model, initially for use in our own classrooms. Mine became what I called the CMAPP model. Much later, the three of us “compared notes”; not really to our surprise, we discovered that, although the terminology in our three models was different, their basic ideas had proven all but identical. As well, we took a bit of admittedly conceited pride as we also noticed that the concepts we had brought to bear in our models had, more and more, become standard in the textbooks we now saw. Patting ourselves lightly on our respective backs, we smiled as we thought of ourselves as having been in the professional communication teaching vanguard. Nonetheless, I still think that the CMAPP model, developed to deal exclusively with technical, business, professional communication, seems to work quite well. While I’d still adhere to the definitions and explanations in your textbook, I will add—or, perhaps, merely repeat—these observations. • Unlike the transactional model, it is not linear. The CMAPP
  • 49. model is a dynamic model: every component affects and is affected by every other component all the time. • Nor is it static. As soon as you communicate, you change the context, which has an effect on your audience, and so on. In a sense, you should never actually effect a piece of communication, because reality won’t stand still for it. But, here’s an analogy. Suppose you’re using a high-quality camera to take a photo of something and someone very significant to you. While you’re considering and then adjusting such things as angle, filters, and exposure time, the reality is changing, which means that you might need to modify the settings you’ve identified. At some point, though, you have to say, “enough”… and click the shutter to take the picture. In the same way, after you’ve gone through the process of your CMAPP Analysis, you need at some point to say, “enough”… and communicate— recognizing, however, that doing so means you’re changing the context and the other elements for whatever communication then ensues. • Getting used to the model can be awkward. After all, we’re more accustomed to putting our mouth—or our word processor—in motion without being sure that we’ve engaged our brain. And the CMAPP model requires that we think very carefully before we start communicating. • When you were first learning to drive a car, you were probably very conscious of every element of the “process”: clutch (if you drove standard transmission, as I did), brakes, accelerator, turn signals, steering, windshield wipers (if it was raining), other vehicles
  • 50. on the road, pedestrians, and so on. Over time, all those considerations became automatic… subconscious, if you like. I’d maintain you can do the same with the CMAPP model. For a while, actually write out your CMAPP analysis for your communications—at least, for those of some complexity and importance. Over time, the analysis becomes inevitable and unconscious. In effect, you’ve changed the CMAPP model to a CMAPP approach… which means that you—and I—have been successful with it. Practice Finally, from the Week 2 segment, examine the following three files—in the order shown: • CMAPP Approach-Strategy-Exercise.pdf, and • CMAPP Scenarios Exercise.pdf. • CMAPP Scenarios Exercise-Responses I’d suggest that you download both and, perhaps, print the first two. That way, you’ll be able to insert your answers by hand. Page 5 of 6 CMAPP Approach-Strategy-Exercise.pdf • The first three pages show “thumbnail” images from a set of PowerPoint slides that were intended to reflect the basics of the CMAPP model and its approach. • At the bottom of each image, notice the words, “© 2001
  • 51. Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning”. They are there because I first created the slides for my textbook, Express, published in that year by what was the company then called ITP Nelson. Part of my agreement with them, however, was that I could use such material in any way I needed for my own teaching. Thus, you’ll also see, at the bottom of each page, “© 2002 DIWIS”. That acronym stands for David Ingre Written Image Services, the communications consultancy I actually started in 2000. • Page 3 gives a brief overview of how to go about effecting a CMAPP analysis. • The remaining two pages are your exercise. I’ve given you a very short, very simple communication task: tell someone about new computer system that you intend to buy. However, I’ve given you four somewhat scenarios in which to undertake this task. • For each of them, pretend that the communication activity is of sufficient importance to you that you decide to undertake a CMAPP analysis. I’ve offered a number of potential CMAPP questions you might wish to ask yourself. And, I’ve given you some space in which to compose brief answers. • Remember, though, not to ignore the obvious. We often do, and the obvious can sometimes be very important. For example, in “real life”, you’ll know whether you are male or female, and you’d recognize whether your audience is male or female. However, might that make a difference? In North America, we often try to believe that, in a business relationship, it’s of no consequence. You might have heard the saying, “It’s always dangerous to make a general
  • 52. statement.” I’ll make one, nonetheless. Most of the time, most women react differently to women than they do to men, and vice versa. That doesn’t mean that whether you or your audience are male or female will have a significant impact on how your communication proceeds. But, it might… and you should not ignore that possibility while conducting your CMAPP analysis. • Note that there are no correct answers here. You’ll decide whether what you’ve put down is likely to work well. Of course, you could decide to discuss your answers with your class colleagues (and/or with me) in the Week 1 Forum.) CMAPP Scenarios Exercise.pdf Here is another exercise that should help you become comfortable with applying the CMAPP model. I think that the instructions are fairly self-explanatory. Try to generate brief answers for all the “hypothetical” questions in both scenarios. Once you’ve finished, have a look at CMAPP Scenarios Exercise-Responses.pdf. Although there are no correct answers, you’ll see what I considered to be “potential responses”—things that might work. Again, you might decide to discuss this exercise on line. That’s all for now. Please don’t hesitate to email me for any reason. Dave
  • 53. Page 6 of 6 Week 2 Posting: Communication Models (Transactional and CMAPP)The Words of CommunicationCommunication ModelsImplications of the Transactional ModelCMAPPPracticeCMAPP Approach-Strategy- Exercise.pdfCMAPP Scenarios Exercise.pdf C M A P P Approach/Strategy/Exercise C C M M A A P P P P Context Message Audience Purpose Product © 2000 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning Technical/Business Communications © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning Context Personal relationships Time, place, weather, etc.
  • 54. Situations, circumstances of influence Internal & External Interference © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning Message Situation overview Principal facts, issues, questions Significant details Primary and secondary? © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning Audience Identification critical for technical communication Receiver in transactional model Primary: principal, immediate Secondary? © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning Purpose Motivation Expectations Audience response Type: * Inform * Persuade * Describe * Instruct
  • 55. © 2002 DIWIS 1 © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning Product Shape of communication Physical (document) » Memo, letter, presentation, e-mail, etc. Job (function) » Summary, proposal, etc. Transmission vehicle © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning CMAPP Questions (1) Context Underlying /sur- rounding situation? Impact on audience response? Relationship with audience? Other relationships of consequence? Message Precise facts? Independent / segment?
  • 56. Everything? Specifics needed / wanted? Secondary? Sequence? © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning CMAPP Questions (2) Audience Who, precisely? Already know? Need / want to know? Level of technicality? Favorable? Benefits? Purpose Rationale? Expectations? Type? Requested? Action request? Deadlines? © 2001 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning CMAPP Questions (3) Product Write? Phone? Visit? Shape: physical?
  • 57. Shape: job? Format / Professionalism? Ensuing changes to Context, Message, Audience, Purpose? CMAPP Strategy 1. Identify Basics obvious context (what influences?) basic message (what do you want to say? primary (immediate) audience: to whom? primary purpose (why? what is goal?) 2. Analyze Audience Primary (immediate) Secondary (positive/ negative ripple effect?) 3. Re-evaluate Purpose Short-term, intermediate, long-term (inform, persuade, etc.?) 4. Re-evaluate Context As audience and purpose analysis develop, watch for additional influences on “product setting” 5. Re-evaluate Product
  • 58. Appropriateness and professionalism? © 2000 Nelson, a division of Thomson Learning 2 © 2002 DIWIS CMAPP Strategy Analysis Use the CMAPP strategy to plan any technical, business, or professional document or presentation. Before creating your “product”, establish the main points. After you have initially defined the particular context, the principal message, the primary audience, the purpose, and the product, begin drafting your work. As you do so, examine each of the elements in more detail. You will note how each component affects the others. Consider questions like the following. Context What is the underlying/surrounding situation? How will it affect how my audience responds to me/my message? What is my audience’s relationship to me? What product (memo, letter, report, presentation, etc.) should I use? Is this message “independent”, or is it the initial, middle, or final segment of a longer process? Message Do I have something to say? What is it—exactly? Do I have a clear idea of what I am writing/speaking about? Have I excluded all unnecessary information? Do I have more than one message: a primary and one or more secondary messages? If so, have I ranked them in order of importance? Am I responding to what my audience(s) need(s) / want(s) to
  • 59. know? Audience Who will read this? What does my audience know already? What does my audience need/want to know? (Does my Message respond to this?) How specialized (technical) is my audience? (What have I assumed?) How will my audience benefit? Purpose Why is this document/presentation needed? What do I want to achieve? Am I trying to inform, explain, persuade, advise, recommend, evaluate, describe? Was this information requested? Am I specifying any/appropriate action? Are there deadlines involved? Have I specified them? Product What is the best way to deliver this message? Are there organizational or other constraints that affect my choice of product? How will receipt of this product affect my audience? Does my product convey a professional image? Does my product reflect “me” and “my image” the way I want it to? N.B. You should be able to sum up the content of any technical, business, or professional document or presentation in a single statement. This might then serve to introduce a report, summarize a memo, provide an abstract of an article, or describe a seminar for a conference. Remember: if you cannot develop this succinct statement, you likely do not yet know what you are doing or why you are doing it. © 2002 DIWIS 3
  • 60. Exercise Scenario: You will tell someone about new computer system that you intend to buy. Case 1— A personal friend Context • In this scenario, are you female or male? • Relationship (time, durability, intimacy, etc.) • Friend’s knowledge of computers compared to your own? • Friend’s need for a computer—your old one, for example? Message • What specific details and explanations will your friend need or want in order to respond as you would like? • What should you include? (Should you exclude anything?) • Appropriate level of technicality? Audience • Male? Female? • How close a friend? • Audience’s level of technicality? • What does he/she know, need to know, want to know?
  • 61. Purpose • Why are you telling your friend about the computer? • What do want him/her to do with the information? Product • What product are you using here? Why? Case 2— Banker from whom you would like a loan to buy the computer system Context • What is your relationship with the banker? • What kind of reputation do students have? • Have you dealt with this bank before? Impact? Message • What specific details and explanations will the banker need or want in order to respond as you would like? • What should you include? (Should you exclude anything?) • Appropriate level of technicality? Audience • How will the bank benefit from the transaction? • What does he/she know, need/want to know?
  • 62. • Audience’s level of technicality? • Is anyone else likely to see/use the information? (Secondary audience?) Purpose • Why are you telling the banker about your computer? • What—precisely— do want him/her to do with the information? Product • What product is involved, here? Why? 4 © 2002 DIWIS © 2002 DIWIS 5 Case 3— Your college or university instructor Context • What is your relationship? • What does the instructor teach? • How would he/she view your obtaining the new system? • Might your purchase have an impact on your
  • 63. marks in the future? How might this be relevant to the instructor? Message • What specific details and explanations will he/she need or want in order to respond as you would like? • What should you include? (Should you exclude anything?) • Appropriate level of technicality? Audience • Why would he/she even want to help you? • How will he/she benefit from helping you? • How “technical” an audience is he/she? • What would be of most interest to him/her? Purpose • Are you simply offering information—and hoping there is a reaction? • Are you, in fact, requesting something? What? • Precisely what do you want him/her to do? When, and how? Have you been clear? Product • What product should I use here? Why? Case 4—The sales representative in a “computer” store
  • 64. Context • Is there any special sale or promotion going on in the store? • Are sales staff on salary or commission? • How did you come to deal with this rep? • On what basis will you make your decision regarding exactly what to buy? Message • What are the main points he/she needs or wants in order to respond as you would like? • Are additional, specific details necessary? If so, which? • What should you include? Should you exclude anything? • What would be the appropriate level of technicality? Audience • What can you deduce about the rep within the first moment or two? How are these observations relevant to you? • How will he/she benefit from helping you? • How “technical” an audience is he/she? • What does the clerk need and want to know? Purpose
  • 65. • Do you intend to buy from this store or are you “comparison shopping”? • Is your motivation short term or something else? How does this affect your message? • Precisely what do you want the rep to do? When, and how? Have you been clear? Product • What is your product? • How does this product affect the other CMAPP components CMAPP Strategy AnalysisExerciseCase 1— A personal friendContextMessageAudiencePurposeProductCase 2— Banker from whom you would like a loan toContextMessageAudiencePurposeProductCase 3— Your college or university instructorContextMessageAudiencePurposeProductCase 4—The sales representative in a “computer” sContextMessageAudiencePurposeProduct Evaluative Content versus Informative Content This file is intended to be run in Slide Show mode; its notes are in the relevant section of this week’s Posting file, and should be available at the same time.
  • 66. © DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6 1 Evaluative versus Informative Content: Explanation The first sentence of each pair displays evaluative content. The second displays only informative content They are not equivalent, because empirical information is different from subjective judgment. Neither is better—they are only different.
  • 67. © DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6 2 Evaluative versus Informative Content: Examples 1. Everyone has to wait in line for hours at the beginning of the semester. The length of bookstore line-ups has been the focus of the security department’s recent report. 2. Finding a parking space was hard enough; now they’re making us keep a collection of loonies and toonies. The parking meters now accept only $1 or $2 coins. 3. Getting parking tickets is a real nuisance. The number of parking tickets already issued this year exceeds the number issued throughout last year. © DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6 3 Examples, part 2
  • 68. 4. Having to fill out a five-page form is outrageous. Jones’ opinion is that a five-page registration form is outrageous. 5. What a great suggestion! I am sure it will really help us reach the right conclusion. Your suggestion has, so far, been approved by eight of the 13 directors on the board. 6. I strongly suggest that serious problems be reported to the authorities. Company policy dictates that all infractions be reported within 48 hours to the Security Office. © DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6 4 Examples, part 3 7. Parking is expensive for students . The posted parking rate for students is $4.50 per hour. 8. Reserved parking always has empty spaces . The building manager’s report indicated that, on average, 10% of parking spots were unoccupied before noon during the work week.
  • 69. 9. Students can’t afford these prices: they rely on student loans and money they earn from their low-paying part-time jobs . Statistics Canada’s figures show that, in 2009, 45% of full- time, post-secondary students in Canada applied for student loans, and that 80% of those applicants indicated that they already held part-time jobs in the food service sector. © DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6 5 Examples, part 4 10. Students want to arrive at least 20–30 minutes before class starts. Three times this week, I have passed by our classroom at least 20 minutes before class, and have observed at least three of my classmates in the hall . 11. Texts are produced in really small numbers, while novels are printed in the millions . Canadian publishers report an average annual print run of 1200 for college textbooks, versus an analogous run of 3500 for “best seller” fiction books .
  • 70. 12. That is an appalling percentage. The increase amounted to 54% over one month. © DIWIS 2014 ‹#› of 6 6 Reports Organized information in response to an expressed need
  • 71. © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 1 Reports Administration Decisions Information Interpretation Legalities Planning Records Trend analysis Short / Long: Rationale © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 2
  • 72. 1 Short and Long Response to need Audience lateral / vertical specialized / lay Data > Information Objectivity Professionalism CMAPP ABC CFF CAP KISS 5WH © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13
  • 73. 3 2 Short Single purpose / focus Coupon > > > several pages Format: Memo > Letter Report > Prepared form © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 4 3
  • 74. Short Reports: Alternative Classification Incident Periodic Progress Sales Test Etc. © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 5 Informal (Short) Reports Information Investigation Informative Analytical Evaluation Recommendation Evaluative versus Informative
  • 75. see Evaluative versus Informative Content.pptx © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 6 Informative Reports: Organization Patterns Chronological (Sales over 4 quarters) Topical/Spatial (Widget type/Geography) Importance (High>low / Low>high) House Style Segments Introduction / Background Facts / Findings / Observations / Results Summary
  • 76. © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 7 Evaluative Reports: Approach Deductive (Direct): business: informed audience Inductive (Indirect): Persuasion: uninformed audience © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13
  • 77. 8 Evaluative Reports: Organization Purchased Cars Up-front costs Overhead costs Employee reactions Leased Cars Up-front costs Overhead costs Employee reactions Employee-owned Cars Up-front costs Overhead costs Employee reactions Up-front Costs Purchased cars Leased cars Employee-owned cars Overhead Costs Purchased cars Leased cars Employee-owned cars Employee Reactions Purchased cars Leased cars Employee-owned cars Alternative/Option Criterion / Issue Renewing Fleet of Vehicles for Sales Staff Purchasing Dept. Finance Dept.
  • 78. © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 9 Long Multiple purpose / focus Complexity Conventions Example: company annual report © DIWIS 2014
  • 79. # ‹#› of 13 10 4 Long Report Conventions (1) Common Front Pieces Transmittal memo/letter Cover page Table of Contents Abstract and/or Executive Summary List of Figures / Illustrations) Glossary (more likely: End Piece) © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 11
  • 80. 5 Long Report Conventions (2) Body Common End Pieces Appendix / Appendices Glossary Index Works Cited (depending on style guide) Bibliography (format as per style guide) © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 12 6
  • 81. Feasibility Proposal Report Week 6 posting re Persuasive Communication (including proposals) Assignment information and Grading Sheet in Assignments and Grading Sheets folder on website. © DIWIS 2014 # ‹#› of 13 13 Mechanism / Technical & Process Description
  • 82. © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 1 Before beginning: Analyze Context Message Audience Purpose Product Brain into gear before… © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12
  • 83. 2 Organization Spatial / Geographical: L>R, top>bottom, inside>outside, etc. Common: no moving parts Chronological Order of operation: Hole #1 > Hole #18 Order of assembly: operator’s manual, etc. General > Specific / Simple > Complex © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 3 Vocabulary: Precision (1) Precise but incorrect because of context Circle vs. Sphere Square vs. Cube Triangle vs. Pyramid Spiral vs. Helix
  • 84. © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 4 Vocabulary: Precision (2) Precise versus Vague … 750 m. straight ahead … fair distance ahead … travels N. along Main St. … goes up Main. St. … 49°2’18” N. latitude … a few minutes above 22°9’12” W. longitude and to the left of the border … temp reaches 150 ° C. … hat and sunscreen
  • 85. © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 5 Terminology / Analogy N.B.: Cultural Referents Size: football field, paper clip, nickel, toaster oven, ballpoint pen Shape: circular, rectangular, concave, convex, tubular, conical, saw-toothed Texture: mirror-like, honeycombed, spongy, serrated, spiked Colour: red, blue, green, cyan, mauve… © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 6
  • 86. Visuals Why? Number? What? Where? Size? Scale? © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 7 Simple Technical Description Introduce item Specify relevant details
  • 87. Organization pattern (spatial, chronological, etc.) Attributes (function, dimension, shape, etc.) Conclude © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 8 2 2 2 Complex Description 1) Introduction
  • 88. 2) General relationships / functions 3) Specifics of main components: a) First component b) Second component, etc. 4) Conclusion Example: http://guppy.mpe.nus.edu.sg/~mpeangh/wss-mob- robot/Mobile%20Robotics%20TD23_40CA_EN_v2.0.pdf © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 9 Hyperlinked Description How Stuff Works http://computer.howstuffworks.com/usb.htm iPad (Wikipedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPad
  • 89. © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 10 Terminology? Source:Bragonier & Fisher (Ed.), What’s What, Ballantine Books 1981 © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12
  • 90. 11 Sample 2 NHL / International Hockey Rink Source: http://www.mybackyardicerink.com/hockey-rink-diagram.html © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 12 Technical Description: URLs Online Technical Writing (©David McMurray) http://www.prismnet.com/~hcexres/textbook/desc.html Society for Technical Communication (Description Writing Exercises) http://www.ebstc.org/TechLit/trgintro3.html DocSymmetry.com http://www.docsymmetry.com/technical-writing-process.html Jerz’s Literacy Weblog
  • 91. http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/technical-writing/process- description-how-to-write-about-a-sequence-of-events/ © DIWIS 2014 Mechanism / Technical Description, page ‹#› of 12 13 Component B Component A Component C Summary Sub- component B3 Introduction Sub- component B4 Sub- component B1 Inter- relationship
  • 92. Overview Sub- component B2 COMM 310 Mid-Term Assignment General Instructions 1) Open a blank word-processing file. 2) Save it, using the following file name schema: Surname Initial Midterm, allowing your software to provide the file name extension, e.g., doc or docx. (In case you were unfamiliar with the term your surname is your last or family name.) Thus, if I were creating such a file in Microsoft Word, my file name would be Ingre D Midterm.docx. 3) Do not make any changes to the file you are now reading. (My original will in any case remain unchanged on the Moodle site.) you do not need to return this file to me. 4) Once you have completed the assignment, submit your file as an attachment to an email sent as usual through the UCW DropBox. I hope to return it to you, with a Midterm Marking Sheet, by May 27.For Part I 1) Copy and paste all of Part I of this assignment (the file you are reading) into your just saved file. Thus, in Microsoft Word, for example: a) Click just to the left of the words Part I (30 points) b) Scroll down and, holding down the Shift key, click to the right of the words End of Part I on page 4. This should select all of Part I, including the table. c) Press CTRL+C (or click on Copy). d) Go to your new file, click at the top of the first page, and press CTRL+V (or click on Paste). e) If offered the choice, choose Merge Formatting. 2) Follow the instructions for completing Part I. 3) When you have finished inserting your answers, insert a hard page break to move to a new page.
  • 93. a) In Microsoft Word, click at the point you want to insert the page break. b) Press CTRL+Enter to insert the hard page break.For Part II 1) Read through Part II carefully 2) Begin your response to Part II after the hard page break. 3) You need not copy and paste my scenario into your file. 4) After you have finished, insert another hard page break so that Part III will start on a new page.For Part III 1) Begin Part III on the new page of your file. 2) Read through Part III carefully. 3) Remember that I must be able to easily identify which response is the answer to which question within the memo you submit to me as Part III. Part I (30 points) Indicate whether you think the statements in the left-hand column are true or false, by typing a T (for True) or F (for False) in the right-hand column of the respective row. (One point each) 1. Authors of technical documents should not generally expect their audiences to devote their full attention to the communication. 2. With regard to transactional models, external interference refers exclusively to interruptions outside the building in which an oral presentation is taking place. 3. Proposals that are submitted without a request are called solicited. 4. Information and connotation are, in fact, the same thing. 5. No information should ever be repeated in a technical document..
  • 94. 6. For all technical writing, a paragraph should be 8–15 lines in length. 7. A short report is always written for readers within the writer’s organization. 8. The main goal of an informative report is to provide analysis and justification sufficient to convince your audience to accept your recommendation(s). 9. Conducting a CMAPP analysis is useful only in the creation of long, formal documents. 10. The information in analytical reports need not be presented in the same order in which the writer gathered the information. 11. Good technical communication requires the extensive use of jargon. 12. Formality of language is not the principal distinction between formal and informal reports. 13. The CMAPP model is a linear process. 14. As part of a formal, multi-level outline, the following sequence violates the principle of parallelism. II. Agricultural Implements A) Tractors 1. Motorized B) Planters C) Threshers 15. You should be concerned about cultural referents even when
  • 95. dealing with a homogenous audience that is fluent in the same language you use. 16. Evaluative summaries always assess the calibre of the logic of the original document. 17. Your textbook’s definition of “correct” language specifies “what every native speaker always says”. 18. Instructions—and, therefore, user guides—must make abundant use of graphics, tables, and highlighting. 19. A report’s level of technicality is determined exclusively by whether the report is lateral or vertical. 20. Unless a copyright restriction has been indicated, something available on the Web should be considered to be in the public domain. 21. It is always easier to write an effective and successful internal solicited proposal than an internal unsolicited one. 22. With regard to formal, multi-level outlines, the principle of division could be considered an exercise in arithmetic. For each question in the left-hand column, indicate which of the choices you consider the best, by writing its letter on the respective row in the right-hand column. (One point each) 23. Technical writers should generally avoid using a) analogies b) the active voice c) comparisons and contrasts d) euphemisms 24. The deductive strategy would typically be more effective to
  • 96. persuade an audience that a) already understands the overall issue. b) you have never met. c) is emotionally involved in the issue. d) has a reputation for reacting negatively to others’ arguments. 25. For a vertical analytical report whose primary audience is technical and whose secondary audience is lay, would you typically a) construct two reports—one for the primary audience and one for the secondary? b) write only at the higher level of technicality required by your primary audience? c) write only at the lower level of technicality required by your secondary audience? d) write the report at the higher level of technicality, but include a “supplement” of some kind (e.g., an executive summary) at a lower level of technicality? 26. Which of the following best defines “process description”? a) It focuses on delineating the physical characteristics of its subject. b) It allows an audience to learn how to do something new. c) It explains how things work or are done or made. d) It seeks to identify each step in a complex procedure. 27. Which of the following should be used to create specific instructions in a user guide? a) the active voice b) the passive voice c) the imperative mood d) the introductory epithet 28. Which of the following headings within a formal, multi- level outline would contravene the principle of parallelism? a) Introduction