2. The Practice of Spiritual
Direction by William Barry and
William Conolly
William Barry, a distinguished
spiritual director and author. He was
born on November 22, 1930 at
Worchester, MA. He described his
mother as very kind and genuinely
holy woman. His father was hard
worker, loyal and caring but a man
with a temper and at times hard
drinker.

3. 1950- He entered the Society of Jesus
1953-1956- He studied philosophy in Germany
1959- 1963 He studied theology at Weston
College
1962- He was ordained priest
1968- Barry went on to earn a Ph.D. in clinical
psychology from the University of Michigan
1969- He began teaching psychology at
Weston School of Theology,
Cambridge, MA,
1971- was named director for the
Center for Religious Development until
1978, when he was put in charge of
formation for the New England Jesuit
Province.

4. 1985–88- Barry was the Assistant Director
of Novices for the Province when he was
named Rector of Boston College.
1991-1997-He served as Provincial of the
New England Jesuits. Following that, he
was named co-director of the Jesuit
Tertianship Program. Barry directs
retreats at Campion Center in Weston,
MA.
William J. Connolly, S.J., was one of the
six cofounders of the Center for Religious
Development in Cambridge,
Massachusetts, in 1971. The center was
one of the first to offer year-long specialized
training in spiritual direction. He is the
coauthor of the book The Practice of
Spiritual Direction, and now resides at
Campion Center in Weston, Massachusetts.

5. Spiritual Direction

6. The history of Spiritual
direction can be traced
back to the desert
fathers(Abbas) and mothers
(Ammas) of the first
centuries of the Church.

7. Spiritual direction is a help
given by one Christian to
another which enables that
person to pay attention to
God’s personal
communication to him or
her, to respond to this
personally communicating
God, to grow in intimacy
with this God and to live out
the consequences of this
relationship.

8. I. Religious Experience in Spiritual Direction
Video: Sign Seeker

9. Spiritual direction it directly concerned with a
person’s actual religious experience in his
relationship with God; the person knows God
through loving Him.
The experience of being in love with God;
Each person meets God in his or her own
experience whether that experience occurs
with a community at a liturgical or para-
liturgical service, with others, or alone.
Our own experience- “I believe”

10. The apostles came to believe in
Jesus and to trust in Him through
their experience of him.
The encounter took place in their
relationship with God. It required an
awareness of God’s love and an
awareness of his personal call to receive
that love and respond to it.

11. Any human experience can have a
religious dimension, can be an
encounter with God.
The role of the Spiritual Director is to
help directees pay attention to
their experience as the locus of
their encounter with God. …Indeed,
the more attentive one becomes to
presence of God in one’s life, the more
one becomes a contemplative in
action, finding God quite literally
in all things.
Video: God in all things

12. There can be two different kinds of events
that we call religious experience. One is
spontaneous and can occur when a person
is praying well as when he is not praying.

13. III. The Relationship between God and Individuals
Spiritual Direction is a help for the development of
one’s relationship with the Lord. The persons most
immediately involved in spiritual direction are the
Lord, the directee and the director.
Directors do not create relationships between
God and their directees; they try to foster
such relationships.

14. What do we mean by “relationship with God”?
We mean something that is, first of all. It is established by the
creation of the human person and exists even when the
person is unaware of its existence. I am creature whether I
know it or not and God is my creator. God knows me as his
Son or daughter even when I do not know him as Father.
When we speak of contemplative prayer we are
speaking at the same time of awareness of this
communication by God and of willingness to
listen to him and to respond to him.

15. The Old and New Testament reveals God and
his relationship with His people.
Scripture is important in spiritual direction.

16. The best candidate of spiritual direction are those who have lived
life and not afraid of its joys and pains.
Being “transparent” should be our relationship with God.
Emotional alienation- could be a sign of failure to grow in our
relationship with God
(Adults but pray like children).

17. Ex. woman who loss he child- prayer of petition and thanksgiving;
not able to express in prayer her sense of loss or outrage.
Prayer does not take place in isolation from
the rest of a person’s interest. Thus spiritual
directors need to know where their
directees come from(ex. history, past,
religious upbringing social and cultural
milieu)
The facilitation of the relationship between the directees and the
Lord is the main task of the spiritual director.

18. IV. Fostering the Contemplative Attitude
What does a spiritual director do?
•Empathetic listening
•Paying attention
•Affirming
•Assisting in clarification
•Raising Questions when the directee needs them
•Helping the directee to recognize the affective attitudes that
influence his attitude to God.
What is the most fundamental task of director?
•Helping the directee pay attention to God as He reveals
Himself. (discernment)
•Helping the directee recognize his reactions and decide on
his responses to this God.

19. What is contemplation?
….to the meaning Ignatius Loyola gave it when he proposed
that a person look at Jesus as he appears in gospel events
and let himself become absorbed in what he is like, what he
cares about, and what he is doing.

20. Contemplative prayer as we use the term here, means paying
attention to and becoming absorbed in the person of Jesus or in
God. It allows one to find some ease and spontaneity in paying
attention to the Lord as he reveals himself in Scripture , creation,
one’s own life, and the life of the world.
One effect of paying attention to something outside ourselves is
that it can make us forget ourselves and our surroundings.
Contemplation leads to, or rather is an experience of
transcendence-
Conversely self-absorption makes the contemplating very
difficult or impossible.

21. When we contemplate God, we try to let him be
himself and not our projection of him, and to be
real ourselves before him.
The sacraments, especially the Eucharist, Church
teachings, the Scripture and nature are privileged places
to meet the Lord.
In the beginning of spiritual direction the directee can be
asked to bird watching, sunset, music, art so a he will not be
totally absorbed by himself. After each period of doing this we
ask them to reflect on the experience what happened? What
did they experience? Did the Lord make himself known?
Focus on Jesus; Pursue the question what is the Lord like?

22. V. Helping a person notice and share with the Lord
key interior facts
Spiritual direction is like a journey one must reflect what is
happening on him on the road.
For the direction must begin with the way of the Lord is
encountering him, not with some plan in the mind of the director.

23. So he describes where he has been in life,
what he has been looking for, what and
whom he cares about, how he feels about his
life and where he wants to go. He describes
too what has prompted him to look for
direction… then discussion on what he is
happening on a current prayer.

24. Which most of those passages had most to
say to you? What struck you about it? How
did that make you feel? What do you mean
buy feel? - These questions can help the
person look at her experiences.

25. The director helps by pointing the feelings
that arise in a prayer that attempts to be in
dialogue with the Lord.
The director will focused on what happened
The director dimply underscores emotional
facts as presented. I was frustrated. “You felt
very frustrated? Do you notice how you felt
about it? Do you listen to the Lord when you
pray? Are you telling him how listening to him
makes you feel?

26. Anger at significant people in his life,
resentment toward God, disappointment with
himself, may lie submerged in his
consciousness. But since they are
unacceptable, he does not noticed them.
These will prevent us from listening to the
Lord and responding to him.
You can refer the person to counseling or
psychotherapy when there is too much
depression.

27. VI. Development of Relationship
and Resistance
Relationships do not develop smoothly. Resistance arises when
there’s something new or a change in the relationship. Real
relationships are never smooth sailing for long.
Resistances often crystallize around some kind of
secret. There is something I don’t want the Lord,
or my director- or frequently enough, myself- to
know about.

28. Signs of Resistance
-Nothing happens in prayer and gets
discouraged. He begins to focus in
himself and his problems when he tries
to pray.
- Avoiding prayer
-A constantly cheery attitude
-Blindness to certain facets of life,
meaning of scripture, and persistent
repetition of the same pattern of
response
-Falling asleep in prayer
-Doubts about the reality of prayer

29. Signs of Resistance
-avoiding appointments with
spiritual director, always late for
appointments, desires to quit
direction
- The fear that one will lose the
relationship with God
- I will lose myself that I will be
swallowed up in the immensity of
God.
- Another source of resistance is
the particular self-God image a
person has.
- the relationship between director
and directee will also be a source of
resistance.

30. Our perceptions are influenced both by what we have already
perceived and by what we expect to see. Moreover evidence that
runs counter to our expectations is at first resisted and
indeed causes at least some anxiety.
If a relationship is to develop, then each of the
parties has to be open to letting the novelty
and mystery of the other shake the patterning
in the relationship. As I allow the other to be
different from my expectation so too, I allow
myself to be different from my ideal self and
thus more transparent of him.

31. Many people live with an image of
their relationship with God that is
childish and juvenile.
Only continued contact with God,
commitment to the relationship with
Him and openness will change one’s
image of God and oneself in the
relationship.
The contemplative attitude can be
particularly frightening in such
circumstances because it asks one to
give up control.

32. Before resistance is confronted
and uncovered, there should be
a good working alliance between
director and directee.
Directors should use direct
and non technical words with
people. It’s preferable to say:
You seem to be avoiding
something, or having hard
time describing your
experience? You sound sad,
angry or depressed?

33. VII. Criteria for Evaluating Religious Experience
What criteria can help us decide the authenticity or inauthencity of
our experiences with God? How do they make decisions? What kind
of criteria do they use?
They compare it to another
experience that they are sure is
God’s .

34. The quality of dialogue with
God in prayer can also serve as
a criterion for discernment.
Many Christians feel that
good prayer is always
undisturbed and
undisturbing. For them
peace is the principal
criterion for deciding that
their experience with God is
authentic.

35. Paul’s statement in Galatians: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love,
joy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control,
against these there is no law.”
There is another criterion that appears after
the early stages of explicit spiritual growth:
the developing sense of the reality of God
as someone who is not within the directee’s
control.

36. “I was free, I had recovered my
liberty. I belonged to God, not to
myself: and to belong to Him is
to be free; free of all the
anxieties and worries and
sorrows that belong to this
earth, and the love of the things
that are in it.” –Thomas Merton

37. Central to Ignatius ability to tell the
difference was the fact that he wanted to
do great things for God.
-Discernment of Spirits
As the directee grew in
knowledge and love of
Jesus Christ, he
became more and more
able to tell the difference
between impulses that
were from the Lord and
those that were not.
An authentic relationship with God moves towards a
unity of external and internal life (our relationship
with others, unity of individual and community,
listening to Church authority)

38. VIII. Becoming a Spiritual Director
The authority of the spiritual director arises basically from
the fact that he shares in the faith-life of the Christian
community as it experiences its dialogue with the Lord. A
director must have a great faith and experienced the love of
God.
Aware that their own experience of God is limited, they want to
know more about Him and expect to learn more from Him by
listening to others people experience with Him.

39. “No two persons experience the love of God in exactly the
same manner. He loves us infinitely and personally. God
does not love one more and another less. Yet, his love is so
personalized that we experienced it differently”.

40. “They are not perfect, but they have relatively mature. They
show signs of having engaged in life and with people.
They are optimistic, but not naïve; good humored, but not
glad-handers. They have suffered but not been overcome
by suffering. They have loved and been loved and know
the struggle of trying to be a friend to another. They have
friends, for whom they care deeply. They have experienced
failure and sinfulness- their own and others- but seem at
ease with themselves in a way that indicates an
experience of being saved and freed by a power greater
than the power of failure and sin. They are relatively
unafraid of life with all its light and darkness, all its
mystery.

41. They have experience God who
loved them first in their sinfulness.
The responsibility of a spiritual
director is not specifically to
give a spiritual direction to the
directee but that of preparing
the soul. It is God’s work to
direct through the Holy Spirit.
Like the abbas and ammas, the
spiritual director must also have
personal experience of the
desert: specifically the desert
of the heart.

42. What spiritual directors do?
•They listen
•They foster contemplative attitude
to the directees
•They help directees discern
•They help directees notice
resistance to new developments in
the relationship with God.
Spiritual directors who want to foster a
relationship between directees and their
God need to have a “surplus of warmth”.
Surplus of warmth appear in the director
through
•Commitment
•Effort to understand
•Spontaneity

43. Spiritual directors require self confidence.
We believe potential directors should be
men and women of relatively wide
experience of life.
Be men and women who themselves
have experienced and are experiencing
a growing and deepening relationship
with the Lord.

44. Spiritual directors need to study the scripture and recommend the Bible as
source of personal prayer. Spiritual directors need an informed and intelligent
understanding of the faith of the Church
Finally spiritual directors ought to have some knowledge of the history of
spirituality and modern psychology.

45. IX. The basis for the Relationship
between Director and Directee
The spiritual director and the directee are
sent to each other so that united in the same
Spirit they may together listen to God within
the directee.
Listening then is the attentiveness of our
being to another’s becoming in all her
beauty and sinfulness, struggle and
mystery.

46. The spiritual director is like a companion helps
the traveler to read maps, avoid dead ends and
watch out for potholes.
The “working alliance” in spiritual
direction, in other words, is that aspect of
the relationship between the director and
directee which enables the directee to
continue to work toward the fulfillment of
his purpose in seeking direction.
Ultimately, the motivation for spiritual direction
has to become the desire to grow in
relationship with God. (if other motives
become still dominant he may refer it to other
ministries or therapy).

47. The directee has a right to expect
confidentiality from the director as well
as a commitment to his growth in the
relationship with the Lord.
Directee must pay attention to his
prayer and must have a regular prayer
time. because her experiences during
these times will be the focus of spiritual
direction.
One other factor that needs clarification
is the question of fees.

48. X. Disturbances in the Relationship
between Director and Directee
The relationship between
director and directee can also be
a source of disturbance to the
directees relationship with the
Lord. The director’s person,
characteristics, and method of
approach can become the focus
of a directee’s reactions.

49. In psychological counseling
this distortion of perception
has been termed transference.
It can be defined as a reaction
based on the assimilation of
the director to an imaged
derived from childhood or
previous experienced.

50. “You’ve been a great help to my prayer life, But I don’t know
you at all.”
“ You are the most important person in my life and I think we
should talk about our relationship and get to know one another
as people.”
Directors tend to be seen for one thing as authority
figures, and directees will react to them out of their
past experience with authority figures. priests-
father; women directors-object of feelings mothers,
aunts and teachers in childhood experience.
the spiritual director does not deserve intense love,
the intense anger, or the intense dependence that
the directee feels toward him.

51. The relationship that is fostered in
spiritual direction is the relationship not
of the director and directee, but of the
directee and the Lord.
The reactions we call
countertransference however are at
once strong and
disproportionate…Such reactions
indicate that the directors own
unresolved emotional conflicts and
are interfering with the process of
spiritual direction.
If the director’s response is
disproportionate, inappropriate and
punitive is a sign of
countertransference.

52. What can directors do to protect their directees
from counter transference?
It is very helpful to reflect on ones reactions after
each session of spiritual direction and especially to
take careful note of unusual affective reactions,
such as strong anger or warmth or no affective
response at all; one might also note whether prayer
experience was the focus of the session. Avoidance
of talking in supervision one directee; monitor
dreams and daydreams occasionally whether one
directee stands out there. too much concern for
the directeess, too much desire for their progress
and their enjoyment of prayer; and resentment in
the sense of loss when they do not seem to care..

53. Are these feelings consonant with
the development of their own
contemplative attitude toward God
and toward their directees?
One of the most universal
conflicts between the need to
be helpful and the need to be
helped.
A director might be resisting a new
experience of God as he listens to a
directee; he might also be
experiencing the effect of
unresolved emotional conflicts.

54. Difficulties for the Director in Listening
1.Selectivity
2.Counter-transference
3.Inadequate balance between Firmness
and Gentleness
4.Hesitancy to Take Risks
Difficulties for the Directee in
Listening
1.Unrealistic Expectations
2.Pride
3.Desire to Control
4.Transference
5.Personality Disorders

55. XI. Supervision in Spiritual Direction
Supervision of Spiritual directors
aims at helping them to become in
turn more helpful in promoting
other peoples relationship with
God- in other words to help
them become more able
spiritual directors.
Supervisors with a contemplative
attitude listen better as well, pick
up vibrations and feelings more
easily, and respond to what they
hear rather than to their own
presuppositions. They raise
questions and do not fire
accusations.

56. The prime focus will be on how the
director listened and responded.
A frequently heard question in good
supervision is “why”? Why did I
respond in the way I did? Why did
you ask questions about her relations
with her family? What went through
my mind? What was I feeling? What
happened just before I said that?
A written report of a particular
spiritual direction session is of value.
Supervision also helps directors to
pay attention to their own reactions
as they listen to directees.

57. Peer group supervision has been mentioned a number of times. Such
groups have been found very helpful in a number of areas.
One form of group supervision that we have found to be very helpful is
the case conference.

58. XII.Psychotherapy and Spiritual Direction
Psychotherapy Spiritual Direction
Intervention -Use
psychotherapeutic
interventions
Goal(s)Reducing symptoms,
coping,personality change
Counseling is problem-
centered
Resolution of problems
assume the client has a
problem or issue that is
preventing them from
leading a healthy life.
the clinical distance is
crucial to bringing about
objectivity and change.
psychological health
Intervention- Listening,
instruction on prayer and
spiritual practices
Goal (s)Spiritual growth
Spirit Centered
Growth in relationship with
God
assume that the person is
already whole, but maybe
hasn't embraced their
wholeness fully,“
based on the intimate
engagement of two people,"
spiritual, but bringing
psychological health into it

59. XIII. Conclusion
Fostering and growing in relationship with God are the
goals of Spiritual direction as the director and directee
discern in God’s engaging presence on the latter. It
starts with the directees’ experience where God’s
loving presence is being revealed. Recognizing God’s
invitation to love, the directee responds through the
help of the spiritual director. As Religious educators
we are called to bring others especially our students,
the simple and poor members of the Church before
God and listen to their loving experience and
encounter with God.

60. Sources:
Barry, William A. SJ and Conolly, William SJ. (1992) Spiritual direction and the encounter with god, a
theological Inquiry. New Jersey: Paulist Press
Readings for Discernment and Spiritual Direction. A Discussion on Spiritual Direction. (1993) compiled
by Thomas H. Green, SJ. Loyola School of Theology Quezon City Philippines.
Nemeck, Francis Kelly, OMI and Coombs Marie Theresa. (1985). The way of Spiritual Direction.
The Liturgical Press: Collegeville Minnesota

61. THANK YOU!