Lean in Networking

Women in Networking
We tend to
• speak up less
• advocate for ourselves less
• get caught up in being perfect
• helping others to our own detriment
• be less ambitious (and therefore less
strategic) than men

Why?
An entire set of learned behaviors and social
pressure.
In here, we are going to figure out how to
conquer those issues.

What Does That Mean?
Lean In Networking is about
Participating Strategically
Participating: Learning how to network,
going to events and talking to people at
events.
Strategically: Communicating your value -
with a strategy in mind.

Agenda
• Intro & Disclaimers
• What is Networking
• How to Network
• Personal Brand
• Customizing Your Networking
– Immutable Identity (sex, race, height, etc)
– Mutable Elements (personality, style, speaking etc)
– Self-understanding (biases, insecurities, self-value)
• Networking Strategically
• Ecosystem of Networking – (tying it all together)
– Environment
– People
– You

Ecosystem
Networking is an interaction, a relationship between you
and other people.
But networking begins before that meeting.
– It begins with you knowing yourself - your skills your
abilities and your challenges
– And ends with you presenting an honest, accurate &
compelling person at an event
– With a lot in between including
• finding the right event
• talking to the right people
• presenting the right external package
• communicating successfully
• being memorable
– And can continue with email and follow-up

Disclaimer #1:
Not a Political Conversation
(I will repeat these when we move into this part of the
conversation and go into more detail.)
Not a political conversation
• Gender, sex, discrimination will come up.
• This is a practical class – not an aspirational one.
• Focused on how the world is, not how it ought to be.
• We want a better world but that‟s not what we get every day.
• By making changes ourselves, we can make things better.
NOTE: That doesn‟t mean you should tolerate or accept bad
behavior. These are tools – you use them based on your
particular circumstances.

Disclaimer #2:
Not all options are for everyone
When I present a tool or option, I am
NEVER saying that you should change. I
am saying knowledge is useful. Tools are
helpful and you can choose how to
respond.

Disclaimer #3:
Everyone has prejudices
When we discuss prejudices and issues, this
includes women.
Not all men are unhelpful & backwards.
Not all women are your friends.
(we are often hardest on other women so
self awareness is important too)

Disclaimer #4:
None of this is personal
None of the examples here are real – and
none of this is personal.
All examples decided before I came in
today.

About Me
• Avid Networker
• Started a Mentoring Program
• Founder, Web Content Mavens
• Digital Strategy Consultant

Business Development
is to
Networking
--- AS ---
Sales
is to
Asking for a Job
BD -> Networking

Business Development
• Understand the product
• Know how to communicate the value
• Identify the markets and potential
customers for your product
• Build long term relationships within those
markets
• Follow-up to continue the relationship
Leading to a pipeline of business

Network Development
• Understand yourself
• Know how to communicate your value
• Identify networking opportunities that
reach your target audience
• Build relationships at the event
• Follow-up to continue the relationship
Leading to a pipeline of connections

Value of Networking
• 60% of jobs are found through networking –
some estimate higher
• 70-80% of positions aren‟t even advertised
• Examples include getting your roof fixed
(aren‟t you more likely to pick a neighbor
who has a clean yard and a sign out than a
stranger) to this very class (now that we‟ve
all met, we'll be more likely to help each
other).

Relationships Generate Business
• When people know you and have a
relationship with you, they are more likely
to:
– Advocate for you
– Remember you when an opportunity opens up
– Help you with issues and challenges
– Give you a better deal than a stranger

What is Networking?
Network: a “group, system, etc of
interconnected or cooperating individuals”

Networking is about...
–Creating relationships
–Establishing 2-way communication
–Building trust networks
–Defining & supporting mutual
benefit
–Achieving momentum

Networking is NOT about...
–Using others to advance
yourself
–Short term job seeking or short
term benefit seeking (see Sales)
–Taking from people without
giving benefit
–It‟s not short term

10 Golden Rules of
Networking
Ten essential items to keep in mind when
planning for an event and when out
networking.
1. Be open to others
2. Be kind and positive – not just because it‟s
good, but because it serves you better
3. Be aware of your time and others (guiding
rule: 8-10 min per conversation, unless in a
group)

10 Golden Rules of
Networking
4. Be clear and concise about what you are
looking to gain from the interaction.
5. Be honest but don‟t overshare.
6. Be aware of your clothing and posture –
you want to present the best possible
“you”.
7. After talking, ask for contact information
if you want to follow-up. Don‟t wait for
the other person.

10 Golden Rules of
Networking
8. Be interested in the other person.
9. Don‟t worry if you‟ve forgotten a name.
Just be honest and say “I‟m afraid your
name is escaping me at the moment”
10.Use honest and direct language. Best
opening line: “Hi, my name is…”

(A Note on Job Seeking)
If you are looking for a job or other
assistance –do so in a brief clear manner.
Be careful not to give the impression you
are looking for a job from the other
person
(If they don‟t have a job for you, this will often
end the conversation – even if they may have
contacts worth pursuing.)

We Are Looking for
Balance
– Be Open / Don't Overshare
– Vulnerable / Not Needy
– Interested / Not Watchful
– Modest / Not Self Depriciating
– Kind / Not Walked-Over (need new term)

Where to Network
WHERE TO START BUILDING YOU NETWORK
Family and friends – even if they don‟t work in the same field or
vertical, they may have contacts you hadn‟t considered – and
they can give you the best possible recommendation.
In your office/location/school
– Get to know your co-workers
– Chat with others in your location (ask questions about
what they do, about the business they work for, etc)
Business associates

Where to Network (cont)
Previous employers – easy to do now with linked-in, etc
Clients/contacts/donors
Alumni groups
Online – twitter, facebook, blogs, etc
Create Your Own Networking Events

Plan for the Future!
When you meet someone,
evaluate them based not just
on your current needs
Instead, on where you and
they might be in a few
years.

Qualities of a Great Networker
This is just a free-form list. Not everyone is good at every item. You should add to this as you
learn about networking – and find which items you have to struggle to achieve and which
items come easily to you.
• Friendly
• Smiles easily
• Listens well – and is able to offer opinions and ideas
• Is interested in others
• Expects others to be interested in him/her
• Is able to succinctly state what he/she is looking for in 30-45 seconds
• Helpful to others – makes introductions, holds a bag, etc
• Prepares for the event
• Arrives early
• Introduces his/herself to others
• Aware of time – both for themselves and for others
• Takes notes on the people they‟ve met
• Asks for business cards
• Quick follow-up after an event or interaction
• Avoids jargon/doesn‟t make the other person feel less intelligent

At Events
• Events can be tremendously hard even for
the un-shy among us. Some basic
principles for navigating events.
• Generally, be open to people (to the
largest degree you can)
• Open body posture
• Look around, not down
• Smile when someone meets your eyes

Dos & Don’ts
• Don’t sit down
• Don’t fiddle with your iPhone
• Do stand near the bar, buffet, entrance or other
gathering place
• Do have a drink in hand to avoid crossing your arms
• Don’t stand with a closed posture or look down
• Do look around the room – slowly and calmly (you
aren‟t looking for someone – you are viewing the
crowd)
• Do meet people‟s eyes – and if they are close, smile
and introduce yourself

Your Situation
SITUATIONS
• Active job seeker
• Passive job seeker
• Represent company
• Start company

Your Goals
GOALS
• You = job, next career move, networking,
professional dev, resources for work
• Company = Biz Dev, exposure etc
• Idea = entrepreneur

Introductory Statement
• Name
• Why here
– Lead with primary goal
– Job/netw - I do this for this co
– Company - I work for
– Startup - Starting a firm that does x

Nametags
• First Name = big letters
• What you want to promote:
– the company you work for
• If you have a more common name: Add
an last initial (or last name if short)

HOW TO NETWOEK
• Mechanics
– Who to approach
– How to Escape
– Break into a conversation group
– Work a room
– When to offer a biz card

Starting a Conversation
• Hi, my name is Jasmine
• What brought you here?
• Are you an x or a y attendee?
• Do you know many people here? I'm trying to
meet x or y. Or to meet people who do x or y.
• Do you mind if I join you?
• How did you hear about this event?
• There‟s a lot of x. What jumps out at you? (or
what doesn't work for you, etc)
• Are you following x story?

More...
• That‟s a great tie. Love that shirt.
– When someone compliments you – use it as
an opportunity to talk more.
• Have you tried the food yet? I‟m torn
between the beef and the veggie.
• I‟m trying to extend my network – not just
talk with the usual suspects.
• Is that a Note? I‟ve been looking at those.

More...
• Both here at the buffet/bar, mind if I
introduce myself?
• I'd love to meet new people - can you be
one?
• Networking - we have to do it but its not
easy for me

Next Phase
• Often not necessary – the first sentence is
usually enough.
• What are you working on? What are you
interested in?
• Talk about a friends project
• Talk up technology
• Talk about yourself!

Non-Professional Events
(or later at professional ones)
• Ask an intriguing question
• Great event. I know I should go home but
I‟m enjoying this so much.
• Are you having fun?
• I‟m thinking of grabbing dinner after this –
do you know the area?

Dos & Don’ts
• Stop worrying about etiquette
• Talk to new people
• It's ok to start with a friend/acquaintance
in the first few minutes or when you feel
uncomfortable
• Visit with them when they are talking with
someone

Closing the Conversation
• Clear, concise call to action if you want to
follow-up
– I'd love to talk more, grab coffee, pick brain,
etc

Ending a Conversation
• “I‟m headed over there. Nice to meet”.
• “Excuse me. I have to take this text
message”.
• “I‟m sorry but I need to take care of
something”. <-or talk to someone
• “This is a great conversation. Can we
continue this later?”
• “This has been great. I‟d like to meet a few
other people but let‟s talk later.” <-optional

Following Up
• Twitter, facebook, linkedin, etc
• How to follow-up after no reply
• How to keep the conversation going
(types: casual keeping self on radar, when
you want something, etc)

Stay In Contact
A few ideas...
• Jot down notes about people.
• Follow-up to see if a deal went through, if they
found a new apartment, etc.
• Send interesting articles with a short note
(“Thought this might be of interest”)
• Forward events that might be useful to them
(Note that frequency will depend on the relationship -
but once a month is usually the max unless you are
close with someone.)

The Value Proposition
The Value Proposition answers the question:
Why should this person want to talk to you?
Identify your personal brand - the accurate,
concise, clear and compelling statement of
who you are that will engage others and
create relationships and opportunities - and
learn how to communicate your brand
efficiently and effectively.

Personal Branding Statement
1. Who you are (your skills & specialty)
2. What you do (your industry/service)
3. Who you work with
4. A leading attribute

Brand = Memory Helper
Branding = signals that generate
associations.

Brand You
Your Personal Brand is roughly how you want to be
perceived – so a mix of a few qualities including:
1. Your personality
2. Your personal values and interests
3. Your trustworthiness and consistency
4. Your value to others – your benefits and talents
You communicate items 1-3 by your actions, by how you
speak and communicate, how you follow-through and
interact. It is the last item (#4) that you need to
verbally communicate. Don‟t make people work to
see the talents you bring to the table.

What’s the Buzz On YOU?
If there isn't buzz, then how do you create
that?
• Positive
• Accurate & Authentic
• Clear
• Relevant
• Memorable

Positive
• This is the best version of you.
• It needs to be accurate but also highlight
the strongest parts of you.

Accurate & Authentic
• You need to promise something accurate
& authentic.
• You do not need to share every flaw
• You DO need to be authentic

Relevant
• Make sure your brand aligns with a need.
EXERCISE

Memorable
• People need a way to differentiate between
brands - a way to remember you and what
you do or offer
• If there are already lots of XYZs, don't focus
on that. If you do something very esoteric,
find a way to package it that is still unique
but not so specialized.
• IE if you do user research for startups, talk
first about user experience and startups.

Disclaimer #2:
Everyone has prejudices
When we discuss prejudices and issues, this
includes women.
Not all men are unhelpful & backwards.
Not all women are your friends.
(we are often hardest on other women so
self awareness is important too)

Disclaimer #3:
None of this is personal
None of the examples here are real – and
none of this is personal.
All examples decided before I came in
today.

Disclaimer #4: You do not need to
change.
When I present a customization, tool or
option, I am NEVER saying that you
should change. I am saying knowledge is
useful. Tools are helpful and you can
choose how to respond.

Disclaimer #4
More Detail
Customizing
2 women: Olga & Nina. Both are: 5‟, baby faced,
wear dresses & flats, interested in marketing jobs.
Olga
Social
Loud voice
Brunette
Bright colors
Nina
Introvert
Quiet voice
Blonde
Pastels

Immutable You
• Elements of your personal self that can be relevant in networking.
Even if that‟s not ok.
• Sex
• Height
• Weight/Build
• Attractiveness
• Age
• Accent (usually)
• Race & Ethnicity

Mutable You
Somewhat Changeable
• Voice & Accent
• Personal Style
Highly Changeable
Personal Presence
• External
• Clothing
• Shoes

Internal You
This is where we talk more about women in
networking.
These are the habits, learned behaviors and
self-

Imposter Syndrome
For women, feeling like a fraud is a
symptom of a greater problem. We
consistently underestimate ourselves.
Multiple studies in multiple industries show
that women often judge their own
performance as worse than it is, while
men judge their performance as better
than it actually is.” – Lean In, p 29

Confidence
For women, feeling like a fraud is a
symptom of a greater problem. We
consistently underestimate ourselves.
Multiple studies in multiple industries show
that women often judge their own
performance as worse than it is, while
men judge their performance as better
than it actually is.” – Lean In, p 29

Raising Your
Hand
Or just shout
it out!

Give Yourself Credit
“Ask a man to explain his success and he will
typically credit his own innate qualities and
skills. Ask a woman the same question and
she will attribute her success to external
factors, insisting she did well because she
„worked really hard,‟ or „got lucky,‟ or „had
help from others.‟” Similarly, when a man
fails, he points to factors such as his lack of
time studying or lack of interest in the
subject. When a woman fails, she‟s more
likely to say it was due to her lack of ability.

Nurturing
• “Our entrenched cultural ideas associate men
with leadership qualities and women with
nurturing qualities and put women in a
double bind,” [Deborah Gruenfeld] said. “We
believe not only that women are nurturing
but that they should be nurturing above all
else. When a woman does anything that
signals she might not be nice first and
foremost, it creates a negative impression
and makes us uncomfortable.”

Speaking Up
“From a very early age, boys are encouraged to
take charge and offer their opinions.
Teachers interact more with boys, call on
them more frequently, and ask them more
questions. Boys are also more likely to call
out answers, and when they do, teachers
usually listen to them. When girls call out,
teachers often scold them for breaking the
rules and remind them to raise their hands if
they want to speak. – Lean In, p 20

Ambition
• Work, money and success are listed first
as a value for men.
• Not for women.

It’s about RESULTS
Networking is not about friends. It‟s about
results.
- Focus on it.
- Put energy into it.
- Expect results.

Men & Women in Networking
• "The problem is that women speak to men to
relate and men speak to women to impress,"
Walker said. "Because women speak to relate,
men think they're not serious about their business,
they always get personal. They're just as serious
as the guys are; they just do it differently." - Hazel
Walker, author, Business Networking and Sex
• As a sales trainer, I‟ve noticed that men ask for
the sale much more readily than do women, who
need additional coaching in this area. I‟ve
witnessed this phenomenon for years.
• (response from the survey)

Pieces of the Ecosystem
• The networking environment: the type of
event, ratios of men to women, ways of
dress, alcohol, etc.
• The people you interact with and
understanding their motivations, unspoken
views and opinions.
• And how to mix networking best practices
with your personal brand and networking
challenges.

Architect
DO IT!
Preparation -> Action -> Followup -> Next
Steps

Where You Network
• Now - what are the not ideal situations
– people don't want to talk to you (not the
perception)
– everyone is way dressier/fancier
– not your field

Environment
• The situation you find yourself in
• Closed group
• Out of place: age difference, clothing
(casual/stained/etc)
• Social vs networking event

Lean In Networking: Steps
• Know your personal brand
• Learn the mechanics of networking
• Understand your challenges and strengths
• Perceive the needs and views of those
around you
• Want to Lean In
= Lean In Networking

Questions?
Jasmine Sante
Sante Strategies
mjsante@santestrategies.com
@mjsante

Lean in Networking

Recommandé

Recommandé

Contenu connexe

Tendances

Tendances (20)

Similaire à Lean in Networking

Similaire à Lean in Networking (20)

Dernier

Dernier (18)

Lean in Networking