A blueprint for making more money by having more fun, by MortifiedCow.com

1. No More
BoringBusinesses
Brought to you by Mortified Cow
www.mortifiedcow.com
A blueprint for making more
money by having more fun

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
To a lot of people,
we were saying
“We’re not serious
enough for your
Very Important
Business. Go over
there and talk to
Platinum Corporate
Solutions instead.”
Which was exactly
the idea, because we
don’t want to work
with anyone who
thinks business has
to be buttoned-up
and stuffy.
Up yours,
boring businesses
When we named our
company Mortified Cow,
we were saying something.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
We believe that businesses
should be exciting, unique
and full of personality.
Over the next few
pages, we explain the
seven main principles
we apply when we’re
hired to create or
overhaul a company’s
brand – with plenty of
examples of businesses
who are already using
them brilliantly.
They should do amazing
work for the right
customers, and put off
the wrong ones before
they’re even through the
door. These businesses
make the world a better
place for their customers,
and are one hell of a lot
more fun for their owners.
If you read them,
understand them, believe
in them and apply them,
you probably don’t need
to hire us at all – but if you
do want to, our contact
details are at the end.
Oh, but first we should
explain what a brand
actually is (spoiler: it’s not
a logo or a colour scheme).

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Before we get started, let’s quickly
talk about your brand…
Your brand is the feeling that someone gets from interacting with
your business. When someone talks about “a strong brand”, it means
they know exactly what that company stands for, who it’s for, and how
people feel about it.
A brand is not a logo, or a font, or a tagline. It’s all those things,
plus every word you use on your website, how you communicate
over email, every image you use, and every decision you make.
If you have a strong brand, some people will love that brand.
They’ll buy from you even if you’re more expensive, or less
convenient. They’ll talk to their friends about you. They’ll actually
derive part of their self-identity from being your customer or client.
Without a strong brand, you don’t get any of that. You’ll only be
bought or used when you’re the cheapest, most convenient option.
You’ll get no word-of-mouth, and that customer or client might not
even remember you next time they need that same product or service
again – even if the quality you delivered was excellent.
Whether you’re a clothes shop, an accountant, a web-design company,
a marketer, an online swimwear store, a plumber or a session
musician... you MUST have a strong brand if you want to stand above
the competition, appeal to the right people, and charge more money.
Everything we’re going to talk about next is a tool
you can use to build a strong brand.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Have a mission
Why is this
so important?
People want to buy
products and services
that extend their
self-identity and how
they want others to
perceive them. So take
TOMS shoes. If you buy
a pair, they give another
pair to a child in need.
Their mission is to
eliminate death, illness
and lost opportunities
that arise from not
having shoes.
The most successful
companies have an
underlying mission that
affects everything they do
and every decision that
they make. They focus on
the “Why” (why they exist
to serve their customers)
rather than the “What”
(what they actually do).
In doing so, they inspire
us to be with them, buy
from them, and use them
over the competition.
As a customer of
TOMS, you get to buy
into that mission and
preserve/extend your
self-identity as a
charitable, caring person.
Your job as a business
owner is to identify your
mission – something
people can identify
with and buy into.
“People don’t buy what you
do, they buy why you do it.”
Simon Sinek

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Missiontastic? We think so…
14 Stories
14 Stories don’t just
want to plan gay and
lesbian weddings – they
also aim to promote
marriage equality through
educational seminars,
and donations to LGBT
charities on each client’s
first anniversary.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Apple
Steve Jobs reinvented
the struggling Apple
brand around the idea
that it was equipping its
users with the tools they
needed to change the
world through their work.
Missiontastic? We think so…

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Freckle
For Freckle, it’s not just
about the time-tracking
software they provide
– it’s about what they
believe great software
should be, and how it
should make the user feel.
Missiontastic? We think so…

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
“”The FreshBooks vision is aworld where entrepreneurssuccessfully run theirbusinesses without havingto learn accounting.
Freshbooks
The FreshBooks “vision”
shows the bigger picture
behind what the company
does, and expresses
a worldview that
small business owners
will share.
Missiontastic? We think so…

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Niche it down
Too many businesses try
to appeal to everyone,
and they end up
resonating with no one.
(And so the only people
who contact them are
those on a tight budget
looking for a good deal.)
“You have to understand
that nothing appeals to
everybody.” Gene Simmons
And that’s why we tell
our clients to NICHE IT
THE HELL DOWN. By
focusing on a tight niche,
everything’s easier: you
can speak directly to a
particular audience and
address their specific
needs (which means
you can dispense with
all that infuriatingly
vague and jargontastic
“Whether you’re a large,
small or medium-sized
business, we can provide
all the logistical solutions
you need to maximise
your synergies”).
You don’t need to
compete on price,
because you’ll be the
obvious choice for
those people. Marketing
becomes easier, because
there’s less guesswork
about where your dream
customers will find you.
And you’ll become so
knowledgeable about your
niche that these people
will trust you and refer
you more and more.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Niche it down
And DON’T just offer
a writing service. Offer
a writing service for
independent estate
agents with fewer
than three offices, who
specialise in rentals
rather than sales. If you
specialise in that industry,
it makes sense that you’re
the experts and you’ll get
better results for your
clients. They’ll see what
you’re offering and think
“Yes! This is exactly what
I need!”
So DON’T be an interior
designer. Be an interior
designer who specialises
in modern, minimalist
homes – because as soon
as people see your site/
advert/mailout, they’ll
come straight to you if it’s
the style they’re after.
And DON’T just be a
web developer on Elance
(because you’ll be in
direct competition with
about 100,000 others).
Say you only offer to build
Shopify-based websites
for people selling t-shirts.
Suddenly, for anyone
selling t-shirts who knows
they want to use the
Shopify platform, you’re
the only choice.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Here’s some great niching…
Her corner
Her Corner helps organise
hyperlocal, face-to-face
meetup groups for female
entrepreneurs. The entry
criteria are strict, which
has the effect of pushing
away the people who won’t
be a good fit for the group.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Here’s some great niching…
Peter Shallard
Imagine you’re an
entrepreneur and you’ve
decided you need to see
a shrink. Who are you
more likely to choose –
a generic psychiatrist
who’ll treat anyone,
or the “Shrink for
Entrepreneurs”?
Enough said.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Here’s some great niching…
Coding for Entrepreneurs
Entrepreneurs don’t
want to learn coding for
fun, or to become expert
programmers. They want
to learn just the aspects
they need to grow their
business. This course is
just right for them.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Show personality
“To me, business isn’t about
wearing suits or pleasing
stockholders. It’s about
being true to yourself, your
ideas and focusing on the
essentials.” Richard Branson
When companies say
they “provide best-
practice consultancy”,
or that they’ll act as a
“communication channel
to deliver thought
leadership content”,
or that they’ll “go the
extra mile to ensure
success”, they’re
hiding behind a lack of
personality. This means
they’re competing with all
the other personalityless
companies out there –
and they only way they
can really compete is on
price. You need to avoid
that trap.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Show personality
It’s often the tiniest
touches that give the
biggest glimpses of the
company’s personality
– just take a look at our
example below of the cute
Hipmunk mascot, whose
little scarf flaps in the wind
while you’re waiting for the
search results. The right
people will appreciate that
stuff. The wrong people will
use Expedia.
You need to weave your
chosen personality
through every aspect of
your business, or else it
doesn’t work: if you have
super-funny website text
but deadly serious email
correspondence, you’ll
seem inauthentic and
therefore untrustworthy.
Having a personality
means the right people
(the ones you want to
work with) will be drawn
to you and will be willing
to pay a premium to do
business with you. And
you’ll have alienated
the wrong people, which
is great: it means you
can achieve the effect
of having your dream
customer arrive on your
site or receive marketing
information from you and
think “Holy shit, this was
MADE for me!”
As well as pulling the right
people towards you with
your personality, it’ll keep
them loyal to you, and give
them something to talk
about with their friends.
Of course, your
personality or the
personality of your
business won’t
necessarily be fun and
quirky like the examples
we’ve given so far.
That’s fine – maybe you’re
more dramatic and over-
the-top, or sarcastic and
scathing. Just make sure
your personality doesn’t
vanish as soon as you
start doing business.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Personalityful companies
Hipmunk
Hipmunk’s unique
personality is all over
its site – from the cute
little flying chipmunk who
appears when the site is
loading search results,
to being able to sort
flights by “Agony” and
hotels by “Ecstasy”.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Personalityful companies
Dollar Shave Club
Dollar Shave Club delivers
a monthly supply of
razors to men’s doors for
a monthly fee, and their
advertising and website
text fits the brand’s
sarcastic, self-mocking and
witty personality. It’s not
for everyone, but the men
who like it really like it.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Personalityful companies
Black Milk
Black Milk Clothing
is run by James, who
manufactures and sells
printed clothes from a
design studio in Brisbane,
Australia. The site doesn’t
just show you some
product photos and the
price: there’s oodles of
James’s zany personality
and enthusiasm on
every page.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Personalityful companies
Print Hut
Print Hut’s services and
quality are probably
just the same as their
competitors’. But the
site’s fun text, silly special
offers and colourful
design make it feel so
much more appealing to
the right kind of customer.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Sell the benefits
“People don’t want to buy
a quarter-inch drill. They
want a quarter-inch hole!”
Theodore Levitt
So you’re an accountant?
Great… what’s in it for me?
You’re a nutritionist?
Wonderful… so?
You do brand consultancy?
Interesting… now where’s
the guy with the crudités?
Stop describing what you
do! You need to show how
what you do can benefit
ME or my business.
Basically, your client
doesn’t REALLY want
an accountant, or a
nutritionist, or a brand
consultant… they want
an outcome that these
things lead to. And you’ll
be one step closer to
getting them as a client if
you can connect the dots
and explain the outcome
for them.
Also, you’ll sound far
more exciting at cocktail
parties if you say “I
help women rinse their
cheating ex-husbands
for everything they own”
instead of “I’m a lawyer.”

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Companies that sell
the benefits really well
Apple iPod
The iPod Classic isn’t an
MP3 player. It allows you
to hold “up to 40,000
songs, 200 hours of video,
25,000 photos or any
combination”. And its
battery life means you
can “keep on rocking for
a long, long time”.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
The Wow Company
The Wow Company isn’t
a firm of chartered
accountants. It helps
small businesses “make
more profit, pay less tax,
have more fun”.
Companies that sell
the benefits really well

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Packed Branding
Tessa Stuart of
Packed Branding isn’t
a researcher for food
brands. She helps your
food products “fly off
the shelf”.
Companies that sell
the benefits really well

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Go above and beyond
“We asked ourselves what we
wanted this company to stand
for. We didn’t want to just sell
shoes. I wasn’t even into shoes
– but I was passionate about
customer service.” Tony Hsieh
Always think about
how you can provide
better help or service
for your customers:
you’ll be rewarded with
loyal customers, plenty
of word-of-mouth,
passionate employees
and the opportunity to set
yourself apart from your
competition. What’s more,
it’s fun to delight people.
Most companies let
themselves down with
crappy customer service –
even though treating your
customers awesomely is
one of the easiest ways
to get good PR and
good vibes.
When you look at the
examples below, you’ll
realise just how effective
“going above and beyond”
can be when it comes to
your perception of the
companies. You don’t need
to go as all-out as they
do, but simply creating
a culture of exceeding
customers’ expectations
will get you far.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Companies that go
above and beyond
Zappos
Zappos (the online shoe
store) is referenced
constantly when it comes
to great customer service
– generating free publicity
like these headlines.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Morton’s Steakhouse
This is what happened
when Peter Shankman
tweeted at Morton’s
Steakhouse with a tongue-
in-cheek request. They
did exactly what he asked,
Peter Shankman told his
150,000 followers, and
Morton’s got a load of
great press.
Companies that go
above and beyond

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Be remarkable when
things go wrong
The best companies
know that when things
go wrong – when they
slip up, when customers
get annoyed… – it’s an
opportunity to prove
themselves, mollify their
aggrieved customers, and
possibly gain new ones as
a result of positive word-
of-mouth.
“Statistics suggest that when customers
complain, business owners and managers
ought to get excited about it. The complaining
customer represents a huge opportunity
for more business.” Zig Ziglar
Technology now means
that a customer’s
complaint could be
heard by thousands of
people rather than just
their golfing buddy.
That’s a nightmare for
businesses…or a huge
opportunity. Because
customers will seldom
say anything when things
went as planned, but will
tweet from the rooftops
when a problem is
brilliantly resolved.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Companies that proved themselves
when things went wrong
Replies
UK Razerzone
When UK Razerzone got
in a bit of a kerfuffle over
an unauthorised discount
code their customers
were using, they honoured
the discount rather than
cancel the orders – much
to the respect of their
Facebook fans.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Zappos
Online shoe store Zappos
is the master of great
customer service.
Companies that proved themselves
when things went wrong

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Give away useful,
free content
Content marketing is all
about giving away heaps
of information – for free
– in ways that are easily
digestible for your potential
customers. It could be in
the form of an in-depth
blog, a podcast, a course
delivered over email, a
Content marketing is
much, much cheaper
than regular marketing/
advertising – in fact, it’s
usually free. And what’s
more, it’ll get you lots of
love, trust and word-of-
mouth in return.
presentation on Slideshare,
free seminars in your office,
a community site, a series
of YouTube videos, a free
book, or any other way you
can think of to disseminate
your information.
Remember, this isn’t
marketing material – it’s
educational material. So
if you sell engagement
rings, don’t produce
a video about the
outstanding quality and
value of your products:
instead, produce a video
that shows hopeless
husbands-to-be how to
evaluate the quality of a
diamond. This isn’t about
you, it’s about them.
“Traditional marketing
talks at people. Content
marketing talks with
them.” Doug Kester

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Why is all this so effective?
Your free information
gets you found.
Especially if you’re
sharing on another
platform (like YouTube,
Slideshare or iTunes)
– where people are
already searching for
information, and which
appear high up in
organic search results.
Even if you’re just
giving away free stuff
on your own site, you’re
creating natural SEO
by answering questions
that people will be
searching for
the answers to.
Selling breaks
rapport; educating
builds rapport.
People hate being sold
to. If they get to know
you as an educator
and an expert, they
won’t have the natural
wariness we all have
when approached by
a salesperson.
There’s no need to
pay for advertising.
In fact, people might pay
you for information that
helps them to become a
customer of yours.
You build authority
and trust.
Rather than asking
people to believe that
you’re an expert on
the strength of a
qualification and a
few testimonials,
prove it beyond
doubt by showing off
everything you know.
Customers arrive
ready to buy.
Once they’ve benefited
from what you’ve freely
given away, you’re the
only choice of who to
work with when they’re
ready to take it further.
Price isn’t an issue,
because you’re not
a commodity.

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Big givers
Lauren Luke
application. The videos
were useful rather
than salesy, and people
trusted and respected
her tips. Sales went
through the roof.
Lauren Luke began
selling make-up products
on eBay in 2007 – and to
improve sales, she began
creating YouTube videos
on practical make-up

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Likeable Media
But you’re not going to do
that, because you’re lazy
and busy, and because
they obviously know what
they’re doing. So you’ll
pay Likeable Media to do
it all for you…and you’ll
trust them, because
they’ve told you exactly
what they’re going to be
doing, and you believe
that it’ll work.
If you read all the
information on Likeable
Media’s blog about how
to successfully use social
media in your business,
there’d be nothing to stop
you putting it into use
and getting great results.
Big givers

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
Meaningful Money
and loves what he does.
After watching them all,
would you decide that
you actually know enough
and don’t need a financial
adviser anymore? Of
course not – you still
need help applying his
general (and extremely
useful) information to
your own situation.
Pete Matthew is a
financial adviser. He’s
created nearly 300
free videos about his
profession – proving
that he knows his stuff
Big givers

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
River Pools & Spas
For anyone visiting the site
as a result of searching
online for information,
RPS would then become
the no-brainer place to
actually buy the pool when
they were ready to make
a purchase.
Unlike most other
swimming pool sellers,
River Pools & Spas (RPS)
has a blog that educates
potential customers about
everything to do with
swimming pool selection
and maintenance.
Big givers

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
About Mortified Cow
We’re Mish and Rob,
we’re married, and we’re
on a mission to make
businesses magnificent.
We write personalityful,
relationship-building copy
for web and marketing
materials, and we project
manage the creation of
beautiful websites. But
there’s no point doing
any of that until there’s a
strong, consistent brand
to back everything up –
which is where our seven
principles come in.
While we do all this, we’re
travelling the world as
digital nomads – we do
all correspondence over
Skype and email, and have
served our clients from 26
different “homes” on three
continents in the past year.
We blog about our
ridiculous lifestyle on our
blog, Making It Anywhere
(makingitanywhere.com).
Want to work with us?
Just email moo@mortifiedcow.com
Thank you for reading!
Mish & Rob

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No More Boring Businesses A blueprint for making more money by having more fun
So…are you with us?
If “yes”, please share!
We believe that if all businesses were based on these principles,
the world would be a better place – not only for their customers,
but for the business owners too.
Will you help us to spread the word? Click on a link below:
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right clients for your business:
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39. No More
BoringBusinesses
A blueprint for making more
money by having more fun
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