Singh is King

2. Interviewer: what is your birth date? Singh: 13th October Which year? Singh : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR Manager asked to sardar at an interview Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it? Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

3. After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner? Wife: No! Why? Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner? One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village??? Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

4. Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg And told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and toldthe same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf. Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

5. On a political rally sardar was arrested. Why??? A woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it.. When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

6. Sardar went in a restaurant. To hands wash he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. The manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN" Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape? Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

7. A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!. Sardar-why r all these people running? Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

8. Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail". Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote: Yes!

9. Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go. Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.

10. Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it.... Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

11. Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ? Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror! Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

12. Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more.. A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

13. Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one? Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.

14. Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

15. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".. My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

16. Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself". Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?" Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

17. What is a girl friend? Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends. Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"

18. Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs. The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor. To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!" As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

19. What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

20. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine" He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement" How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

21. once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. " When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya? (What Happened, My Son?)

22. The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, ) aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back! Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens . because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died 'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

23. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper: ne Flag Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao. Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

24. 2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha hai ki Reliance mai Job.

25. A sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member".

26. Bobby returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father. " Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?" "No son, that's because you are intelligent. " Bobby seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??" "No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bobby poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Gym class. All the other boys had little small 3 inch penises, mine is at least 3 or 4 times that size. Is that because I am Sardar ??" The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."

27. Sardarji is selected to play for the Indian cricket team as an opening batsman. He opens the batting against West Indies. He is asked to face the very first over (with one Sunil Gavaskar as the non-striker!) from Marshall who is bowling at his fiercest... First ball : Whizzes past Sardarji's off-stump. Sardarji doesn't move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Second ball : Goes right over the Sardarji's bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Sardarji is again unmoved. Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Sardarji, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Sardarji doesn't move a muscle. Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Sardarji again doesn't move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts "No Ball!" Sardarji walks up to the umpire and tells him, "So you discovered it now!You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!"

28. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?" (What Happened, My Son?) The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)