Stage 1 & 2
Self-Centred Level which is determined by personal needs & wants and consequences of an act (Stealing 50000 is worse than stealing 5000)
Stage 3 & 4
Conformity Level which is based on conforming & upholding the conventions & expectations of the society (Stealing 50000 is the same as stealing 5000)
Stage 5 & 6
Principled Level based on internalized principles of individual (one must look at the context before passing judgement)
2. Know ThyselfKnow Thyself
• ““It matters not what you are thought to be,It matters not what you are thought to be,
but what you are.”but what you are.” Publilius Syrus, 42 BCPublilius Syrus, 42 BC
• ““He that would govern others must firstHe that would govern others must first
master himself.”master himself.” MessingerMessinger
3. Development of ValuesDevelopment of Values
• Stage 1 & 2Stage 1 & 2
– Self-Centred Level which is determined by personal needs &Self-Centred Level which is determined by personal needs &
wants and consequences of an act (wants and consequences of an act (Stealing 50000 is worse thanStealing 50000 is worse than
stealing 5000)stealing 5000)
• Stage 3 & 4Stage 3 & 4
– Conformity Level which is based on conforming &Conformity Level which is based on conforming &
upholding the conventions & expectations of the societyupholding the conventions & expectations of the society
(Stealing 50000 is the same as stealing 5000)(Stealing 50000 is the same as stealing 5000)
• Stage 5 & 6Stage 5 & 6
– Principled Level based on internalized principles of individualPrincipled Level based on internalized principles of individual
(one must look at the context before passing judgement)(one must look at the context before passing judgement)
4. Development of BehaviourDevelopment of Behaviour
Observation or ExperienceObservation or Experience
Interpretation or PerceptionInterpretation or Perception
BeliefsBeliefs
Value SystemValue System
Society, environment,
training, brought up
etc.
Standards:
Rights &
Wrongs
Things that are Important to you
Principles
AttitudeAttitude
Towards you
colleagues, work,
family men, women
etc.This helps you
set your life’s
priorities
BehaviourBehaviour
Outward expression of
who you are
(Observable)
How you interact
with your
environment
5. Johari WindowJohari Window
Known To SelfKnown To Self Not Known ToNot Known To
SelfSelf
Known ToKnown To
OthersOthers
Open SelfOpen Self Blind SelfBlind Self
Not Known ToNot Known To
OthersOthers
Hidden SelfHidden Self Unknown SelfUnknown Self
6. Understanding PeopleUnderstanding People
• Some people work in lastSome people work in last
minute surges; Others slug atminute surges; Others slug at
a continuous pace. Neither isa continuous pace. Neither is
wrong or right.wrong or right.
• Some people have things toSome people have things to
do lists which they check offdo lists which they check off
as the day progresses; Othersas the day progresses; Others
tend to end up with moretend to end up with more
things to do lists then theythings to do lists then they
started out with. Let them be.started out with. Let them be.
• Some people are good atSome people are good at
inspiring big picture thinkinginspiring big picture thinking
but lack attention to detail;but lack attention to detail;
Others are disciplined toOthers are disciplined to
cover all details but lack thecover all details but lack the
vision.vision.
• Some are natural toSome are natural to
responding to changingresponding to changing
conditions; Others can’tconditions; Others can’t
understand why changeunderstand why change
things that are tried andthings that are tried and
tested.tested.
7. Extraverts vs. IntrovertsExtraverts vs. Introverts
• Tend to talk first, think laterTend to talk first, think later
• Know a lot of people &Know a lot of people &
consider them friendsconsider them friends
• Are approachable and easilyAre approachable and easily
engaged by friends, co-engaged by friends, co-
workers, strangers, butworkers, strangers, but
dominating in conversationdominating in conversation
• Find listening more difficultFind listening more difficult
than talkingthan talking
• Enjoy going to meetings andEnjoy going to meetings and
getting their opinions heardgetting their opinions heard
• Rehearse things before sayingRehearse things before saying
themthem
• Enjoy & need quiet andEnjoy & need quiet and
peace of having time topeace of having time to
themselvesthemselves
• Tend to develop a highTend to develop a high
power of concentrationpower of concentration
• Are perceived as greatAre perceived as great
listeners but feel as if peoplelisteners but feel as if people
can take advantage of themcan take advantage of them
• Come across as reserved &Come across as reserved &
reflectivereflective
8. Sensor vs. IntuitiveSensor vs. Intuitive
• Prefer specific answers toPrefer specific answers to
specific questionsspecific questions
• Believe that if ‘it ain’t brokeBelieve that if ‘it ain’t broke
don’t fix it’don’t fix it’
• Would rather work with factsWould rather work with facts
and figures then ideas andand figures then ideas and
theoriestheories
• Would rather do somethingWould rather do something
which yields results thanwhich yields results than
think about itthink about it
• Find it easier to seeFind it easier to see
individual trees than theindividual trees than the
forestforest
• Tend to think about severalTend to think about several
things at once ‘absentminded’things at once ‘absentminded’
• Excited about where you’reExcited about where you’re
going than where you aregoing than where you are
• Believe that time is relativeBelieve that time is relative
and details a redundancyand details a redundancy
• Like figuring out how thingsLike figuring out how things
work, just for the fun of itwork, just for the fun of it
• Seeks patterns asking ‘whatSeeks patterns asking ‘what
does that mean?’ rather thendoes that mean?’ rather then
accepting them at face valueaccepting them at face value
• Tend to give general answersTend to give general answers
to questionsto questions
9. Thinker vs. FeelerThinker vs. Feeler
• Able to stay cool and clam inAble to stay cool and clam in
situations where everyone else issituations where everyone else is
upsetupset
• Would rather settle a dispute onWould rather settle a dispute on
what’s fair than on makingwhat’s fair than on making
everyone happyeveryone happy
• Are objective but people see that asAre objective but people see that as
being cold and uncaringbeing cold and uncaring
• Don’t mind making difficultDon’t mind making difficult
decisionsdecisions
• You don’t have to like people toYou don’t have to like people to
work with themwork with them
• Are impressed by things that areAre impressed by things that are
logical and scientificlogical and scientific
• A good decision requires takingA good decision requires taking
other people’s feelings into accountother people’s feelings into account
• Will over extend yourself to meetWill over extend yourself to meet
other people’s demandsother people’s demands
• Prefer harmony over clarity; arePrefer harmony over clarity; are
embarrassed by conflictembarrassed by conflict
• Sometimes feel people takeSometimes feel people take
advantage of youadvantage of you
• Ask ‘How will this effect theAsk ‘How will this effect the
people involved?’people involved?’
• Sometimes wonder if anyone caresSometimes wonder if anyone cares
about what you wantabout what you want
• Your relationships are personalizedYour relationships are personalized
10. Judger vs. PerceiverJudger vs. Perceiver
• Have a place for everything andHave a place for everything and
aren’t satisfied till everything is inaren’t satisfied till everything is in
placeplace
• Find that other people are never onFind that other people are never on
timetime
• Have a schedule and follow it andHave a schedule and follow it and
can become confused if unplannedcan become confused if unplanned
things happenthings happen
• Thrive on orderThrive on order
• Are accused of being angry whenAre accused of being angry when
you’re only stating your opinionyou’re only stating your opinion
• Know that if everyone just didKnow that if everyone just did
what they’re supposed to, worldwhat they’re supposed to, world
would be a better placewould be a better place
• Are easily distractedAre easily distracted
• Love to explore the unknown,Love to explore the unknown,
even if its just a new route homeeven if its just a new route home
• Don’t plan a task but wait and seeDon’t plan a task but wait and see
what it demandswhat it demands
• Turn most work into playTurn most work into play
• Depend on last minute spurts ofDepend on last minute spurts of
energy to complete a task, whichenergy to complete a task, which
drives everyone else crazydrives everyone else crazy
• You prefer creativity, spontaneityYou prefer creativity, spontaneity
and responsiveness over orderand responsiveness over order
• Like to keep your options openLike to keep your options open
and not be pinned down toand not be pinned down to
anythinganything
11. Interpersonal OrientationInterpersonal Orientation
INCLUSIONINCLUSION CONTROLCONTROL AFFECTIONAFFECTION
ExpressedExpressed
TowardsTowards
OthersOthers
I join otherI join other
people, and Ipeople, and I
include othersinclude others
I take charge,I take charge,
and I influenceand I influence
peoplepeople
I get close andI get close and
personal withpersonal with
peoplepeople
Wanted FromWanted From
OthersOthers
I want otherI want other
people topeople to
include meinclude me
I want othersI want others
to lead me orto lead me or
give megive me
directionsdirections
I want peopleI want people
to get closeto get close
and personaland personal
with mewith me
12. IncompatibilitiesIncompatibilities
• Reciprocal IncompatibilityReciprocal Incompatibility
– When one’s expressed behaviour does not matchWhen one’s expressed behaviour does not match
with another’s wanted behaviourwith another’s wanted behaviour
• Originator IncompatibilityOriginator Incompatibility
– When one’s expressed behaviour contradictsWhen one’s expressed behaviour contradicts
another’sanother’s
• Interchange IncompatibilityInterchange Incompatibility
– When individuals emphasize the same or differentWhen individuals emphasize the same or different
interpersonal needs.interpersonal needs.
Notes de l'éditeur
The loop starts when you observe something or experience something and automatically start drawing some interpretation of the event you just experienced. This interpretation is done through the filter in your mind which has been created by the society you’ve lived in, the environment in which you grew up, the education you received and the training you received at home. This process gave you standards of judgement: what’s right and what’s wrong; what should be done and what shouldn’t be done; what’s good and what’s bad, is in your head. Therefore whatever you experience is filtered: that is perception (which is your reality) and is verified by your belief system. These are your roots. These roots in turn determine things that are important to you: these are your values. Based on these values you develop principles for your life and all the actions you take will be based upon these values, which are hidden from anyone’s view except yours. However, you may not be aware of them yourself. These determine your priorities in life and hence affect your attitude towards life and everything in it. This describes for you what you want or expect out of life and how you intend to achieve and approach it. Your behaviour is an outward expression of that attitude. Out of all these we can only see each other’s behaviour and nothing else. This is how you interact with your environment and simultaneously the environment reacts to it. Which further reinforces your behaviour.
Hence if you want to change the conditions of your life, the way people behave with you, the problems that you face in your life and over all improve your life you have to start with yourself. This will take you back to the belief system which has made you what you are and change your basic assumptions about what’s right and what’s wrong.
So where do we begin?
