An Essay on East-Asian Parenting in Regards to Education

1. Stupid is as Stupid Does
An Essay on East-Asian Parenting in Regards to Education
2/10/2014

2. “I’ve come here to commit suicide.”
Ernest Hemmingway once said that a true story can be told in 6 words. The above sentence tells
the story of the East-Asian parenting system, as told by one of its victims. In 2002, Jack Neo,
along with the help of MediaCorp Raintree Pictures, created a compelling satire of the Singapore
educational system that inspired political reform and addressed a critical issue in eastern culture.
This issue stems from parenting and comes in the form of what many westerners might deem as
an overemphasis on education. However, while many students in the eastern-traditional cultural
paradigm face duress, anxiety and potentially failure from an overbearing system that places
weights of perfection on tender shoulders; this same system has also spawned 1000’s of years of
wisdom, productivity, and what is now the second largest economy in the world. In this essay,
we will be discussing certain methods of parenting that east-Asian traditional families are
accustomed to and analyzing their effects on the recipients of these systems in the present day.
The 66%
In 2007, a study on academic performance across ethnicities revealed that 66% of Asian
American students studied/completed homework at least 5 days per week, in comparison to their
Caucasian, Hispanic and African-American peers at 40% and 33%, respectively. (Seal, 2010) In
retrospect, other studies have concluded that this may be due to an increased pressure placed on
education in Eastern-Asian households from an early age. A report by the sociological research
magazine, “The Pacific Standard,” suggests that this culture derives from age old principals of
Confucius, who taught the concept of ‘filial piety,’ among other things. This term stands for the
balance of relations between parent and child, stating that a child should be respectful and
obedient to their elders while the parents should responsibly and dutifully govern and discipline

3. their child. In modern day culture, this discipline has correlated with a need for educational
superiority to allow one’s child to get the highest grades, go to the best schools and be rewarded
with the best salaries; ultimately leading a better life. Hence, in 60% of East-Asian cultures,
skills such as reading, mathematics and science are taught as early as the pre-school level, in
comparison to this same practice in only 16% of Caucasian households. This often however
leads to Asian high school students leading more independent lives when it comes to preparing
for homework and quizzes, as they have already been taught how to manage their time, be
focused, concentrate and persevere. At this same period of time, while their counterparts are still
mastering the concepts of getting good grades, Asian Americans are focused on quality highereducation options; perhaps leading to an astonishing 40% Freshman enrollment at colleges like
the University of California Los Angeles (a state where the Asian population is only at 14%).
(Seal, 2010)
The Few, the Proud, the Educated
So why is it exactly that Asian parenting gets the attention centered around the topic of
educationally elite children? Well, women’s education advocate Carol Fishman Cohen shares
that it’s because in the Asian household, the mom is often responsible for 100% of the
upbringing of the child. It’s the mother who has the job of raising the child and it is the mother
whose honor is on the line when a child is faced with life’s ultimate crossroads: “failure” or
“success.” Speaking at a women’s empowerment conference in Japan, Cohen was confronted
with the harsh reality that often, the women are pressured to give up their lives, job hopes and
other potential sources of happiness for the sake of making sure their children attend top
universities; often suffering shame and ridicule from their husbands, in-laws and parents if they
don’t. This pressures the mother figure to go to extremes to make sure that the child provides

4. honor for the entire family. While this might present itself to some as a harsh and overbearing
method of love, in some senses empirical data proves that it works. 44% of Asian American’s
boast college bachelor’s degrees, compared to 26% of white American’s and according to the
National Assessment of Educational Progress, Asian American’s top the charts at reading levels
in the categories of 12th grade reading, 4th grade reading and 8th grade reading. This isn’t just the
typical “math and science” bias that Asian Americans get, but it shows that apparently, Asians
can read better than white people with long standing heritage in this country. While many of this
is fodder for pride, congratulations and private lectures (“son, you better show these white folks
that you can read and write better than they can), it is also a source of pain for some, as the
culture of “saving face” prevents many Asian women from crying out against the pressures they
face to produce educated children. (Cohen Fishman, 2011)
Good Cop Bad Cop
So we’ve seen the results: Asian parenting wins the race in regards to distance gained, but how
about stamina and overall performance? In the movie, “I Not Stupid,” one of the main characters,
Liu Kok Pin attempts to commit suicide based on frustration of not being good enough to
compete academically. Although he was unsuccessful, recent tragedies throughout the US have
shown that the pressure to succeed academically is one that plagues us- not as an ethnicity- but
as humans. Since returning from the winter break period, 4 students have since committed
suicide at the University of Pennsylvania citing issues related to grades and academic
performance. With many more cases throughout the country also being noted, a question we
must ask ourselves as a county is: are we focusing too much on academic performance? Let’s
take a look at the case of Mr. Kok Pin in the “I Not Stupid,” movie. Although he was not
succeeding academically, his personal talent in the realm of art was so highly regarded that he

5. even won second place in an international art competition; a feat that was overshadowed by his
mothers collapse due to a sudden onset of Leukemia. Should we as a nation, world, shift our
focus to providing acceptance for inherent gifts that we each posses and away from churning as
many people as possible through the economic machine that seems to fail a majority of them
anyway? An academic pursues his interest and he becomes a professor. An artist pursues her
interest and she becomes a painter. An entrepreneur pursues his interests and he becomes a
successful businessman. A child is not told to pursue his interest, so he spends $50,000 a year in
college, leaves indebted to the government and maintains an average lifestyle that constantly
stresses him and puts him in a class lower than those who have been able to obtain wealth
through inheritance or creation spurred by the ability to pursue their interests. While having a
society of individuals that are well-educated is not a bad thing per say, there are ways to
incorporate traits of the East-Asian parenting system within a holistic worldview and approach.
For example: 79% of Asian college students viewed knowledge as a continual quest for selfimprovement while their Caucasian counterparts likened knowledge to a set of facts and
information that was memorized. The Chinese mindset in studies noted was to, “focus, practice
diligence and master concentration,” all traits that can be applied to any field of endeavor. An
acceptance of human behavior, desires and abilities, matched with an early development of
critical skills and discipline may very well be the situation we need.
Mortal Kombat
In the Indian film, “Taare Zameen Par,” 8 year old Ishaan goes through a similar predicament as
young Liu Kok Pin. Ishaan does not show the academic progress that his parents, a businessman
father and housewife mother, desire. Instead, he is filled with imagery and applies it to the world
of art- a subject that his society does not deem as fitting. Through the help of an art teacher at the

6. boarding school he gets sent to, Ishaan discovers his dyslexia, learns to overcome it and
eventually excels in his artistic endeavors; leaving his mother speechless and his father in tears.
This inner struggle, to accept what we are told is imperfect, is indicative of our human natures.
To survive means to have access to the means of production and to do so means to give up
internal wants and needs and succumb to a standard placed upon oneself. I call this a mortal
kombat- a human fight to release the energy within them.
The Tree of Life
As I make these comments I do so with the reality that there are billions of people across the
world that desire the basic forms of education to build a life for themselves and their families and
do not have access to it. There are millions more who are underperforming in our own country.
This essay is not meant to disrupt the paradigm of education as a useful tool, but to understand
that education is just that: a tool. To place greater emphasis on education than the person is to
live in a society where billions are left hungry, sick and poor in order to justify an existence that
produces wealth at a perpetual rate. At a certain point in time we must make a few clear points to
ourselves to see the way forward:
1) Humans create wealth and build the systems that maintain it. They then seek
educated people to help support the systems.
a. Therefore, when shaming the concept of wealth, one is really shaming the human
potential. The object of wealth is neither bad or good, it is simply a tool. The
person creating wealth is (in a positive light), creating opportunity based out of
one’s vision matched by the opportunity they see. The system that is designed to
increase wealth overtime is doing only what it is programmed to do. The fingers

7. should never be pointed, because in cases where true evil is occurring, only an act
of love can stop it. An evil individual should never be expected to voluntarily stop
an evil act, that is a why a good individual must always be performing a good act
to catch up.
2) Governments are too preoccupied with managing risk to place an active effort
towards bettering the people.
a. Great, President Obama got elected. So he’s going to spend the next 4 years trying
to get reelected. Oh he won? Well, he’s going to do whatever he damn well
pleases, because he’s already out. But he better not mess it up for his party,
because that will ruin the cycle of power. And vice versa. Governments, while
they (or at least some), genuinely try to do a good job to help the world, they’ve
got to protect themselves from millions of pointing fingers, which distracts them
from actually helping the world. Therefore, we should never expect the
government to solve a problem for us- a governments sole agenda (outside of
protection), should be to allow the opportunities for all individuals to have access
to success. With that being said, it is up to the village to raise the child. And how
do children learn? Be example.
b. So if it’s up to us to change the world, how do we do it without all of the power,
money and wealth? Simple- by realizing that we are the ones with power money
and wealth. Hating a man because he’s rich is just as bad as a man hating you
because you’re poor. Judge not by the wallet but by the heart. With that in mind
you’ll realize that individuals who give the most of their money to charity are the

8. wealthy and individuals who give the most of their time to charity our middle
class and individuals who benefit the most from charity are lower income. You
see the pattern? We must work together to achieve our goals, not putting pressure
on others because they are rich and are forced to give, but to share ideas to help
make the giving process more efficient and allow the recipient to benefit with
longevity. A.K.A., Public-Private Partnerships launched out of community
councils and organizations are probably the most sustainable and effective ways
to curb injustice.
3) Smile, Think, Act.
a. Sometimes that’s all you can do. When you smile the world smiles with you. A
little bit of positive energy can go a long way. A little bit of creative thought can
bring the right results and the right actions- as simple as spreading awareness of
issues through social media (along with your Justin Bieber trolls), can also bring
the issues of poverty and injustice to a greater light where the world can one day
come to a conclusion that evil is not sustainable-as told by the revolutions of our
time.
So there you have it, an essay on education turned into a political discourse. I think. All in all, In
a world where there is privilege such as ours, we must not focus on the education but focus on
the human behind the education; which will then spawn us to create opportunities for those
without education to receive the opportunities provided by the education of injustice we spread
to our peers- those who are happier now that they get to play with clay instead of write an essay.

9. Bibliography
Cohen Fishman, C. (2011). In Japan and Korea, Asian-style Parenting Means Mom Stays Home.
Working Mothers .
Seal, K. (2010). Asian-American Parenting and Academic Success. The Pacific Standard: The
Science of Society .