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Negotiation Skills
  This course involves participants working on processes and procedures that result in successful
  negotiation through the use of group and individual activities, exercises and formal inputs.


Objectives

     At the end of this course, delegates will be able to
     •                Distinguish between bargaining, influencing and negotiating
     •                Identify the key stages in negotiating
     •                Explain the key stages of negotiating
     •                Identify value added in negotiations
     •                Distinguish between compromise, agreement and consensus
     •                Practise the skills necessary for good negotiation
     •                Establishing rapport
     •                Active listening
     •                Choice of language and
     •                Perspectives
     •                Practise negotiating to YES
What is Negotiation?

      Definition negotiate –
       to confer with another with a view to compromise or agreement; to arrange or
                      bring about a desired object; to clear, get over, dispose of an
                      obstacle or difficulty
      Oxford English Dictionary
      Negotiation is the mutual act of coordinating areas of interest.


Negotiation is ….
  Finding a way for all parties to gain something they value from the resolution of a position of
  conflict.

  You negotiate when you want to resolve something and both parties have something to gain from
  the interaction and exchange. You influence when you have more to gain than the other party

  Finding a way that enables both parties to work together in the future

  Dictating, that is telling someone to do something, only works for a short time or when there is
  an extreme emergency. If you want a long term relationship you need to negotiate.

  Generally used in circumstances where each party has a similar power level

  If you have the power then you don’t negotiate, you dictate !


What is Influencing? ….
  Where one party has power over another party

  A child can influence its parents to buy it an ice cream but it has little power to negotiate. When
  a child throws a tantrum it is ‘negotiating’ with its emotions !

  Where one party may have nothing to gain from the agreed action

  Buying an ice-cream for a child has little impact on the parent, the person who gains the most
  pleasure is the child. In fact the parent ‘loses’ the money of the ice-cream. If one party loses and
  the other gains it is not negotiating that you are practising, but influencing.

  Sometime where only one party makes the final decision

  However much they scream, a child does not make the final decision, the parent does. In
  negotiating both parties make a decision, and stick to it.
What is Bargaining? ..
  Where there is give and take from both sides

  Bargaining is a form of barter, a knocking down of the price from unrealistic high level and up
  from an unrealistic low level. Everyone knows in bargaining that the first offers are ‘ridiculous’
  but they are ritual stakes in the ground

  Where neither party may appear to gain from the exchange

  You sometimes bargain to spread the misery – for instance sharing the chore of washing up or
  ironing.

  Normally done on specifics such as price

  Bargaining is about the detail, the specifics, not about the big picture.

  Is a sub-set of negotiation

  Once the basic principles have been agreed we bargain on the details, the nitty-gritty. If the
  original negotiation is shaky the deal can fall apart at the detailed bargaining stage.
What Makes a Good Negotiator?

Behavioural Criteria

  High observation skills
  Able to listen, observe and record activities of others; dealing with a number of individuals at
  once. Able to pick up the nuances in the room and to note body language.


  Planning and Organising
  The ability to set out in detail what they expect from the negotiations and to know their own
  limits.


  Able to move blockages
  Able to choose the appropriate tool or statement to move on from a block rather than ‘throw in
  the towel’. Able to notice when arguments are going round in circles and to identify barriers and
  to work systematically through these barriers.


  Develop rapport and empathy
  Able to quickly establish and maintain rapport. Able to see the others’ points of view and
  appreciate others’ feelings whilst holding onto their own view and desired outcome


  Flexible attitude
  Able to accept others viewpoints and arguments without giving in on all points. Ability to see
  the broader picture.


  Creativity
  Able to think round or through a problem and to try something different to help solve the issue.
Exercise One
Assess your Current Skills as a Negotiator

  In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current
  negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself
  how you wish to be.



                                     Statement                               Rank        Want
                                                                             now         to be
  1        I find it easy to establish rapport
  2        I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions
  3        I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations
  4        I find it easy to observe interactions
  5        I find it easy to analyse offers
  6        I find it easy to determine other party’s value add
  7        I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits
  8        I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’
  9        I find it easy to change language to match that of other
           party
  10       I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is
           blocked
  11       I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals
  12       I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating

  Time:       Questionnaire 10 minutes

              Discussion        10 minutes
Six Stages of Negotiation
In essence there are six main stages of negotiation and the book and course will follow these
through. These six stages are :-

♦ Preparation
♦ Discussions for information gathering
♦ Regroup
♦ Negotiating for resolution
♦ Reaching consensus
♦ Close
Stage 1: Preparation…
        Identify the key issues

        ♦ What is the main problem?
        ♦ Who is concerned with it?
        ♦ What would happen if it did not exist?
        ♦ What happens now that it does exist?
        ♦ Who currently gains from it?
        ♦ Who currently loses from it?
        ♦ Get a very precise statement if the issues
        Set outcomes : best and realistic

        ♦ What is the best we can hope for?
        ♦ What is the worst?
        ♦ At what point do we back off (BATNA 1)?
        ♦ Can we phase any of our outcomes?
        ♦ What about the other party (ies) ?
        Set negotiation range (see overleaf)

        Establish your BATNA2 and your FEP3 (see overleaf)

        Obtain levels of negotiating authority




1
    See below
2
    Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement
3
    Final Exit Point
Outcomes
  It is worth spending time working out the answers to all the points below. Some are the
  negatives of the others but it is good to define outcomes precisely so that you can recognize when
  a negotiation is taking you to the correct path and when it is going off-course.

  ♦   What do we want?
  ♦   What do we not want?
  ♦   How do we want it?
  ♦   How don’t we want it ?
  ♦   Where do we want it?
  ♦   Where do we not want it?
  ♦   When do we want it?
  ♦   When don’t we want it?
  ♦   What will it be like?
  ♦   What will it be unlike?
  ♦   How will we know when we have got it?
  ♦   How will we know if we haven’t got it?



Negotiation Range
  This is simply the difference between the minimum that we will accept and the maximum we
  want. For instance if we have two groups negotiating, Group A and Group B we would hope
  that they could come to an agreement. Where there is an overlap in the negotiation range then
  there can be agreement.



                       Group A                                    Group B
        Lowest price £1,200                        Highest price £4,500
        Highest price £3,000                       Lowest price £2,500

  There is a negotiation range overlap from £2,500 to £3,000
BATNA = Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement
  Defined by Roger Fry and William Ury in “Getting to ‘YES’”

  If we cannot find a negotiated settlement – then what?

  It is always good to ask this question – especially when faced with the best possible contract or
  sale that your company has seen for several months. At what point would you walk away
  because the prospective customer was making excessive demands?

  In most circumstances there is an option we can take if we cannot reach agreement. If you ask
  your manager for a pay rise and are refused then your BATNA may be to resign and look for a
  better paid job elsewhere. It is not necessarily a pleasant option, but it is an option.

  In some war and conflict situations the BATNA can be further hostilities.

  If there is no alternative then we need to negotiate, negotiate, and negotiate !

  So, set a BATNA and get agreement from your hierarchy on the BATNA. Then you will be able
  to negotiate in confidence.


Final Exit Point
  Given a BATNA when do you exit proceedings?

  What is your ‘last stand’ position?

  Is this backed up in your hierarchy? – there is nothing worse than reaching what you believe to
  be your FEP, walking out of the meeting and then finding that people in your hierarchy take a
  different position.

  Think back to childhood, how often will a child ‘set’ parents against each other and having
  reached a block from one parent ask the other and find the block overturned? The effect this has
  on the authority of the parents is marked.




Negotiating Authority
  ♦ How much leeway do you have?
  ♦ How long will it take to go to a higher level?
  ♦ How do you keep higher levels informed of situation?
  ♦ When do you pull out of the discussions and send in a higher authority?
Communications
Research into the effects of communications has shown that the effects of body language or non-
verbal communication is very high. This means that for the Negotiator you need to be able to
interpret body language and understand what the individual is ‘saying’ with their arms, eyes and
posture. One word of warning - be careful to take a cluster of movements into account, not just
one single gesture.


Mehrabian (1969)
This research found that:-
   Message impact:

            Verbal                           7%

            Vocal                           38%
            Non-verbal                      55%

                                            100%


Birdwhistell (1971)
Birdwhistell found that the average person speaks words for a total of 11 minutes a day. An
average sentence lasts only 2.5 seconds and most communication (65%) is non-verbal. Like
Mehrabian he found that the verbal component of face-to-face conversations is less than 35% and
that over 65% of communication is done non-verbally. He contends that a well-trained person
can tell what a person is saying by the gestures they are making and that by looking at gestures,
Birdwhistell could tell what language people were talking!

Verbal communication is used for conveying information; non-verbal for feelings and showing
attitudes.

You will do an exercise on the words chosen and how they indicate what senses an individual
chooses to process information with most of the time. Be sure that as a Negotiator you use a
range of words so that everyone in the room can understand your meaning.
Exercise Two
Communication Questionnaire

      You have ten minutes to complete the following questionnaire. Please answer every question. For
      each of the following statements, please place a number next to every phase. Use the following
      numbering system to indicate your preference.

                 4 = closest to describing you
                 3 = next best description
                 2 = next best
                 1 = least descriptive of you
   1. I make important decisions based on:

  •     how I picture it working                                                           V
  •     how I feel about the person                                                        K
  •     which answer sounds most convincing                                                A
  •     a detailed analysis of all the issues                                              D

   2. During an argument, I am most likely to be influenced by:

  • how the other party sounds                                                             A
  • how I feel they are feeling about the topic                                            K
  • whether I can see the other party’s viewpoint                                          V
  • the precision of the other party’s argument                                            D

   3. I most easily demonstrate my state of mind by:

  •     stating my feelings                                                                K
  •     the colours and clothes I wear                                                     V
  •     the words I choose                                                                 D
  •     my tone of voice                                                                   A

   4. It is easiest for me to:

  • select attractive colour combinations                                                  V
  • identify the key rational points of an argument                                        D
  • tune in a radio setting                                                                A
  • pick the most comfortable piece of furniture                                           K

   5.

  • I am quick to make sense of new facts and information                                  D
  • I am in harmony with my surroundings                                                   A
  • I am constantly aware of how my clothes feel on my body                                K
  • I have a strong sense of colours and how they blend together                           V
Scoring: Add the numbers associated with each letter. There are five entries for each letter.


                       V               K              A               D
     1
     2
     3
     4
     5
     TOTAL
NLP4 Communication Indicators

                  Visual              Auditory (Tonal)                   Kinaesthetic           Auditory Digital
                     V                            A                            K                            D
     Memorise by seeing pictures.   Can repeat things back to    Respond to physical          Spend some time talking
     Often have trouble             you easily.                  rewards and touching.        to themselves
     remembering verbal             Often distracted by noise.   Often talk very slowly and   Memorise steps,
     instructions.                  Learn by listening.          breathy.                     procedures and sequences
     Less distracted by noise.      Like music and to talk on    Memorise by doing or         Want to know if
     Can be bored by long verbal    the telephone.               walking through              something makes sense.
     sentences, because their                                    something.
                                    Tone of voice and words
     minds tend to wander.          used are important.          Go by ‘gut feel’

     see                            hear                         feel                         sense
     look                           listen                       touch                        experience
     appear                         sound(s)                     grasp                        understand
     view                           make music                   get hold of                  think
     show                           harmonise                    slop through                 learn
     dawn                           tune in/out                  catch on                     process
     reveal                         be all ears                  tap into                     decide
     envision                       ring bells                   make contact                 motivate
     illuminate                     silence                      throw out                    consider
     twinkle                        be heard                     hard                         change
     clear                          resonate                     unfeeling                    perceive
     foggy                          deaf (ear)                   concrete                     insensitive
     hazy                           dissonance                   scrape                       distinct
     focused                        overtones                    get a hold                   conceive
     crystal clear                  unhearing                    solid                        know
     Flash                          attune                       suffer                       question
     Imagine                        outspoken                    unbudging                    be conscious
     Picture                        tell                         impression                   analyse
     Sparkling                      announce                     touch base                   communicate
     I see what you mean            on the same wavelength       get a grip on the idea       what are the facts?
     looking forward to..           speak your mind              hold on a moment             lets get down to basics
     A dark cloud on the horizon    word for word                a cool customer              the bottom line is...
     Taking a dim view              loud and clear               put my finger on it          what precisely does this
     Lighten up a bit               what do you say?             heated argument              mean?

                                                                 a smooth operator




4
    NLP = Neuro Linguistic Programming
Exercise Three
Practising Different Communication Styles


     •   Pair up with someone on the course whose highest score is in a dimension that you score
         low in. For instance if you are low on Visual but high on Auditory Digital; then pair with
         someone who is high in Visual and low in Auditory Digital.

     •   Spend five minutes describing your house to the other person in your lowest style- try to
         use words from that dimension.

     •   If you are listening, try to help if they slip into a different style - if they try giving you
         facts ask for pictures; if they tell you about sounds ask them for feelings and so on.

     •   After five minutes reverse roles.

     •   As a pair, consider the implications of this information for good Negotiation

  Timing: 20 minutes
Language - Recovering Choices

Gathering Information
  People use a kind of shorthand when speaking. We generalise and delete information. This
  exercise helps you to be able to recognise this and ask the appropriate questions to recover the
  missing information.




General and Specifics

  General

  ♦ May present things in random order
  ♦ Have overviews and summaries
  ♦ Use concepts and abstracts
  ♦ Use simpler sentences with few modifiers or details
  ♦ Appear to be extremely vague and woolly (to a Specific)

  Specifics

  ♦ Speak in step-by-step sequences
  ♦ Use a great deal of modifiers, adverbs, adjectives
  ♦ Use proper names for people and places
  ♦ Only seem aware of the step before and the step after
  ♦ Appear to use exceptional details (to a General person)
Generalisation Examples

      SITUATION                      HEAR                         ASK              MEANING
Universal words               Every, all, never,        Every?                (Do you really mean
                              always, etc.              All?                  that) you always…..??
                                                        Always?
Restriction of Possibility Can't, impossible,           "What stops you?"     What barriers do you
                           unable                       "What would happen    perceive?
                                                        if you did?"
Restriction of                Have to, Necessary,       "Or, (what would      What consequences
Necessity:                    must                      happen?")             do you perceive?
                                                        "What would happen
                                                        if we didn't?"
Nominalisations               communication,            “Who’s not?” “How     How does the broad
Words which describe a        transportation etc.       would you like to?”   category affect your
process, that exist in name                             “What does … mean     specifically?
only                                                    to you?”
Unspecified nouns and         Costs are rising,         “which costs/work     What does this
verbs                         work is harder, life is   in particular?”       category represent
                              more stressed             “Whose life?”         specifically for you?
Simple negatives              Not sure, not happy,      “about what in        Extract beyond the
                                                        particular?”          negative to find out
                                                                              where the
                                                                              apprehension arises
Lack of reference             They aren’t happy;        “Who specifically?”   Try to encourage
                              He doesn’t like this      “Why is that person   identification of the
                                                        affected?”            individual or group
                                                                              concerned
Exercise Four
Language - Generalisations


     In pairs and using the following examples, make up examples from your day to day work for
     each of the categories, and assign an appropriate information recovery question



  Universal words

     Words which include the whole world, all time and space, such as all , ever, never, every, no
     one, always, nothing etc.

     Example

     "We never give discounts"

     •   Your partner asks: "Never?" "What would happen if you did?"



     My example




     Recovery question
Restriction of Possibility

   Words which claim that something is possible / impossible and can or can't be done.

   Think of something which for you is 'impossible', or something at work you can't do

   Example

   I can't ask for a pay rise

   •   Your partner asks: "What stops you?"

   •   Your partner asks: "What would happen if you did?"



   My example




   Recovery question
Restriction of Necessity

   Words which claim that something must occur, is necessary

   Example

   “I have to seek authority for that”

   Have to, Necessary, must

   •   Your partner asks: "Or what would happen?"

   •   Your partner asks: "What would happen if we didn't?"



   My example




   Recovery question
Nominalisations

   Words which describe a process, that exist in name only, making them nouns for example:
   communication, transportation, etc.

   Example

   "We want to improve communications."

   •   Your partner asks: "Who's not communicating what to whom?"

   •   ...or : "How would you like to communicate?"



   My example




   Recovery question
Unspecified nouns and verbs

   Example

   "Costs are rising"

   •   Your partner asks: "Which costs?"

   •   Your partner asks: "Rising in what way", "Compared with what?"

   •   Your partner asks: "How specifically are they rising?"



   My example




   Recovery question
Simple Negatives

  Example

  "I am not sure"

  •   Your partner asks: "About what specifically?"



  My example




  Recovery question
Lack of reference

   Words which indicate a third party such as they, others

   Example

   "They won’t like it"

   •   Your partner asks: "Who specifically won’t like it?"



   My example




   Recovery question
Stage 2: Discussions
♦ Meet to discover
♦ Practise active listening
♦ Avoid commitment
♦ Establish rapport

   •    Identify language patterns

   •    Identify interests and needs

   •    Separate the people from the problem

   •    Focus on interests not positions




Meet to discover
The original meeting is to find out what the other party wants and needs and to express your
wants and needs as well. It is an opportunity to share information and to start to create rapport
with the people. If you make it clear that this is what you want from the first meeting then
neither side will be disappointed with the meeting.


Active listening
This is a major topic and a vital skill in negotiating. It is covered in depth overleaf.
Active Listening

Introduction
  We spend up to 80 per cent of our conscious hours using four basic communication skills:

  ♦ writing
  ♦ reading
  ♦ speaking and
  ♦ listening
  Listening accounts for more than 50 per cent of that time, so we're actually spending 40 per cent
  of our conscious time just listening. We tend to give little attention to the listening part of the of
  the communication process, which is amazing considering the facts stated here.

  On average, people retain only 25 per cent of what they hear. There are many reasons why this is
  the case:

  ♦ We perceive listening as a passive activity and find the prolonged concentration required
      impossible to maintain

  ♦ The average person speaks at about 130 words per minute, whereas our thinking speed is
      about 500 words per minute. Consequently, we are continually jumping ahead of what is
      actually being said. We often, therefore, go on 'mental walk-about', thinking of other things

  ♦ We don't clear our minds beforehand so the 'noise in our system' shuts out or distorts what is
      being said

  ♦ The listener is tense with emotion so that his or her ability to listen is seriously impaired
  ♦ We are concerned with our reply so that the concentration is on this rather than what is being
      said to us

  ♦ The perception of the listener may so differ from the perception of the talker that a totally
      different interpretation of the information may occur


  How can we improve our listening?
      Quite simply by getting the sender of the message involved with the receiver to create a two-
      way communication. The technique of making the process of communication two-way is
      called 'ACTIVE LISTENING', which as the name suggests is an active not a passive process.
Active Listening Steps
  The steps in active listening are:

      A receives a message

      B receives a message. This involves concentrating fully on what is being said
      B states what s(he) has understood but makes no evaluations

      A either agrees with B's interpretation or, if not, sends the message again

      This process is continually repeated until understanding by both parties has been achieved



Active Listening Techniques
  Two techniques that can help us become more competent at active listening are Summarising and
  Reflecting.


  Summarising
  This is concerned with the factual side of the message and involves stating back to the speaker
  the listener's understanding of the information. This paraphrasing should take place at regular
  intervals and has the advantage of:

  ♦ checking understanding
  ♦ offering opportunities for clarification
  ♦ showing the speaker that you have been listening to what has been said, thus demonstrating
      your interest

  ♦ giving the speaker feedback on how well the message has been expressed
  Useful phrases are:

      “As I understand it, what you are saying is ....”

      “So your point is that ....”


  Reflecting
  This is like holding a mirror in front of the speaker, reflecting back phrases as you hear them.
  This increases clarity and lets the speaker know that you are hearing accurately. You may be
  reflecting back data or feelings. In the case of the latter, recognition of the speaker's feelings
  builds empathy between you.
Non-verbal communication
   Active listening is greatly enhanced by the judicious use of non-verbal communication, which
   includes:

   •   the receiver making eye contact with the speaker 60 - 80 per cent of the time

   •   nodding and shaking the head when appropriate

   •   mirroring the speaker's body language, although it is important not to 'mimic' the
       speaker's posture
   Research has shown that we take in 7% by words, 38% by tone of voice and 55% from body
   language. That means that HOW something is said, and HOW they hold themselves reveals
   more than WHAT they say.
How to Improve your Listening Skills

                     ACTION                                         REASONING
  You must care enough to want to improve.           Without this motivation, it will be too much
                                                     effort
  Try to find an uninterrupted area in which to      Keeping your train of thought is difficult
  converse.                                          when there are obstructions to
                                                     concentration
  Be mindful of your own biases and prejudices… …so that they don't unduly influence your
                                                listening
  Pay careful attention to what's being said.        Do not stop listening in order to plan a
                                                     rebuttal to a particular point
  Be aware of 'red flag' words that might trigger    Examples of this are 'Women's Libber' and
  an overreaction or a stereotyped reaction.         'Male Chauvinist'


  Don't allow yourself to get too far ahead of the   Avoid trying to understand things too soon
  speaker
  At intervals, try to paraphrase what people        Give them the opportunity to learn what you
  have been saying.                                  think you've been saying
  Watch for key or 'buzz' words if you've lost       This happens particularly when the speaker is
  the train of the conversation.                     long-winded or has a tendency to ramble
  Don't interrupt to demand clarification of         You can ask for these details at the end of
  insignificant or irrelevant details                their talk time
Avoiding commitment
  At the first meeting ensure that you take all suggestions ‘without prejudice’. This enables you to
  listen to everything to put a number of proposals forward but without either side committing
  themselves irrevocably.

  This is best prefaced by “What if…” or “How would it be if we …” or “As a suggestion, if we..”




  Establishing rapport
  Rapport arises in many different ways. The key factors to establishing rapport are:

     •    Recognising the other party as an individual

     •    Recognising the person, not the issue

     •    Sharing your own feelings

     •    Speaking in their language

     •    Trusting the other party’s competence

     •    Matching voice tone and speed

     •    Eye contact

     •    Finding out the other’s interests

     •    Listening well



Identifying language patterns
  NLP suggests that there are certain patterns of language that individuals prefer

  ♦ Visual – look, see, scenario, illustrate, brilliant
  ♦ Sound – hear, listen, sounds like, in harmony
  ♦ Feeling - grasp, get to grips with, concrete proposals
You have already

Included in language patterns are the use of filters.

Filters affect our decision-making ability and actions. They include:

♦ Towards – away from
♦ Global – specific
♦ Match – mismatch

Towards – away from
This filter determines whether we are motivated by a desire to try something different or to avoid
something unpleasant from the past. When you hear people talking about “boldly going” they
are Towards people; when they talk about “from poverty to riches” they are Away From people.

In negotiating a pay rise you will appeal to a Towards person by saying that with more pay you
will be able to focus on the future and the challenges it provides; you will gain more attention
from an Away From person by saying that the pay rise will prevent you from looking elsewhere
for another job and saving them from having to find someone else to do your work.


Global – specific
This filter explains how we approach the world. Global people see the whole planet and the
world of work – they find it hard to concentrate for long on minute details. Specific people see
the world as linear, one task at a time and sometimes fail to take in the whole picture.
In negotiating there is room for both approaches. However the better approach is to settle and
agree the global picture first then focus in on the details. Otherwise both parties will be
unsatisfied with the outcome. Some warring factions cannot even agree at very high levels of
globalisation (human life is sacred) which makes negotiation nigh on impossible.


Match – mismatch
The human brain is designed to look for similarities to try to form some patterns of the world and
to reduce the ‘confusion’ of all the millions of messages hitting the brain every second. For some
people they seek patterns too readily and can match a great many items and situations. For
others things are all different, unique and there is no room for matching and therefore
categorizing and generalities.
In negotiating you may wish to ,match a current situation with a past one and then try for the
same resolution. With matchers this will work; mis-matchers will not recognize even some
similarities.
Observing and Recording
  It is important to develop skills in observing and recording as a Negotiator. You will need to do
  both these at speed, and unobtrusively, when you are working with a group. You may in some
  circumstances wish to ask another member of the group to record for you, but be aware that this
  will take them out of the group situation and they may find re-entry difficult.




Observing
  This skill involves seeing without judging what happens. Within a group, interactions occur
  between various members; people react to statements; body language gives a clue to feelings. It
  is very important to watch for non-spoken communication: gestures, facial expressions and the
  like and also to listen to the tone of the spoken words which can also convey strong messages.

  The task of observing is to watch what happens : who says what; who does what; who sits beside
  whom; is this always consistent; who avoids whom.




Recording
  It is important that you devise a method of recording the group interactions - verbal and non-
  verbal and practise doing this accurately and quickly. This means that you can recall precise
  words and gestures where necessary at group review or when there is some problem with your
  group. Records should be accurate and precise.

  Try not to summarise but to record precisely and to work out your own shorthand to help with
  speed. As the group process is important you cannot be interrupting them to get them to slow
  down while you write.

  If you are recording body language then draw stick people; use initials and also use some of the
  methods suggested below.

  You will need to use your discretion when to write/record and when to observe.
Tools for Observing and Recording

  Plus/Minus Sheets
  A plus/minus sheet is a way of recording ‘good’ and ‘bad’ actions and words. It is used where
  there can be some concerns over the group process and where the group seems to be fighting -
  perhaps at the storming stage of group dynamics.

  A sheet of paper is divided into two columns, + and -, and you record what takes place in the
  columns. Note that this involves an element of subjective judgement by the Negotiator so you
  need to establish what good and bad means in your terms - probably helping or hindering the
  group attain its purpose.


                           +                                             -
    KV       Let’s reconsider the problem again       RA No we all know what it is, the
                                                         stupid accounts system
    KV       That’s your opinion - I think it could
             be a wider issue
    MS       The orders keep arriving late at         JV Sales keep promising the earth
             customer sites                              and do not consider the
                                                         problems in dispatch



  Action/Say Sheets
  This is similar to a plus/minus sheet except that here, rather than getting the Negotiator to make
  judgements as they record the differences in body language and words are recorded. This will
  include eye contact; table thumping; moving in/out from the group; arm movements; facial
  expressions.

  Again it is of value in review where you are interested in getting opinions from all members of
  the group, not just the vocal ones. You can introduce a review by saying “Sue, I noticed that you
  were frowning when Ray said “ we all know what (the problem) is, the stupid accounts
  system” - what were you thinking?”

  A say/action sheet is also a two column sheet where you record spoken words and also body
  language of speaker and others. This is important. Often groups need Negotiation because the
  members are poor at recognising non-verbal communication from others, or will not
  acknowledge it.
  Again you need to develop some shorthand - pictures, phrases, and so on to capture all the
  nuances of non-verbal actions.


     Note:      It is easier to record actions than the words - they stay longer in your
                mind.
Spoken                                           Actions
RA we all know what the problem is, the            SJ frowns;
stupid accounts system                             MS raises eyes
                                                   KL sits forward

Group Observation Sheet
We have prepared some Group Observation Sheets that will help you observe a group closely
and focus on behaviours. This sheet asks some questions and allows space for initials of
individuals. It can combine with a ‘plan’ of seating which you can also use to note how many
times individuals speak or are spoken to.

Do this by using either your own notation or the following:-

   S = Speaker

   R = Receiver

Quickly you will see a pattern starting to emerge in any group with ‘speakers’ and ‘receivers’.
Exercise Five
Group Observation Checklist

  Find a situation where you have the opportunity to observe a group in action. This may have to
  be watching your course colleagues discuss some topic or you may think about a recent group or
  team meeting that you attended. If using memory, then make sure that the meeting was in the
  past five days since our memories are notoriously bad at remembering details.

  Complete the checklist below:-


  Who talks to whom?



     •   Sketch the seating plan and put initials of each person in their appropriate places.




     •   Is there any ‘ranking’ order of seating?   Do people sit next to ‘friends’?
•    Remember S and R notation.


                          Checklist questions                 Initials

Who talks the most?

To whom do they talk ?

Who talks to them ?

When people are talking, where do they look?

Who interrupts whom?

Who is the leader of the group?

Who talks the least?

How are silent people treated?

Are some people listened to more than others?

Do they also do most of the talking?

Is there evidence of competition? Between whom? What is it?

Are decisions made by the few or everyone?

Who listens the most?

How do you know they are listening?

Who is telling others their ideas?

Who is selling their ideas?

How are ideas handled?

Who summarises?

Who keeps the group on target?

Who keeps time?
Key Quotes
In the table below capture some of the positive and negative quotes said at the meeting and the
initials of the person saying them. If you have time, write in brackets the reaction of the group to
these statements.


          Positive quotes                by              Negative quotes                  by
Meeting topic
Did the topic of the meeting affect the way in which the meeting ran? Were people’s behaviours
different from what you normally expect?




General atmosphere
What is your impression of the general atmosphere in the meeting? Is it friendly? hostile?
resigned? competitive? enthusiastic?




What gives you this impression? - state words used; gestures; asides; body language




Leaving the meeting
Did the meeting end with a feeling of accomplishment? Were people positive about the meeting?
Was it productive in the views of the attendees? What evidence do you have for these views?
Stage 3: Regroup
  ♦ Time out for thought – evaluating the meeting
  ♦ Identify and categorise findings about other parties
  ♦ Revisit

      •      outcomes,

      •      Range, and

      •      Value Adds



Meeting Evaluation
  Effective meetings occur when Negotiators and participants work to find a better way to get the
  job done. Participants come to a meeting with ideas, skills, knowledge and experience. The
  Negotiator’s job is to create an environment where ‘evaluation’ becomes a normal part of the
  process.


  Sources of Evaluation

  There are three potential sources for evaluating meetings:

  ♦ Self-evaluation by the Negotiator
  ♦ Evaluation by a trained observer
  ♦ Evaluation by participants
  All should contribute to improving a meeting. However, evaluations by trained observers and
  participants tend to be broader in scope and more objective.
Self-Evaluation by the Negotiator
After a meeting is over, a Negotiator should ask,

   “How did I do?”

   “Where did things go well, and why?”

    “Where did I have problems, and why?”

   “What would I do differently next time?”
This is the minimum evaluation to be considered. A Negotiator will have impressions about
things that went well and problem areas that were encountered. A few minutes reflections on
these experiences can be helpful.


Evaluation by a Trained Observer
   A trained observer should be familiar with the ingredients of an effective meeting, skilled in
   making objective evaluation and accomplished at giving feedback. It is difficult to find
   someone with all these qualifications.

   A meeting observer usually sits at the back of the room and records notes on an evaluation
   form. Notes that follow a ‘timeline’ of the meeting are most helpful.

   Following the meeting, the observer may either report to the group and invite discussion
   about how to improve the effectiveness of future meetings, or the trained observer may
   choose to report privately to the meeting Negotiator to discuss improvement needs.


Evaluation by Participants
   Participants are an excellent resource for evaluation. They have feelings and reactions to
   meetings, events and leadership styles that others may not choose to acknowledge. An open
   discussion is usually the best way to get feedback from participants.


After the Meeting
   If you do not have time at the end of the meeting, these evaluation techniques are available:

   •   Distribute evaluation forms to participants asking them to complete and return them to
       you

   •   Telephone a cross-section of the group and request a verbal evaluation of the meeting

   •   Visit members of the meeting and ask them to evaluate in a face-to-face situation

   •   Check with the meeting ‘owner’ against the objective agreed beforehand
Benefits of Evaluation
  The benefits of an evaluation will be worthwhile if the following conditions exist:


      •   You want to improve future meetings

      •   You receive honest input from evaluators

      •   Evaluators are candid in their assessment

      •   You receive feedback in a positive way

      •   You incorporate improvements into future meetings



Value Added
  ♦ What can you give other parties that adds value to them but involves negligible cost or
      expense on your part?

  ♦ What else would you like from the other parties that is outside current scope of negotiation?
  ♦ Is your extra demand easy to fulfil?
  ♦ Is your ‘gift’ easy to fulfil?
  When deciding on a Value Add you must think of something that would benefit the other party,
  that is in your gift to offer and that will not cost you much in terms of money or resources. It
  may be something such as a help line phone number for 30 days after purchase; allowing them to
  use your company’s name as a customer on their literature; making the product in their
  company colours; whatever.
Power
 ♦ Power is given as well as taken
 ♦ Power comes from

    •   The individual

    •   Their title

    •   The situation

    •   Individual abilities

 ♦ Ensure you have maximum power before negotiating – but don’t expect necessarily to use it !
 It is the perception others hold about your power that gives you the ability to induce compliance
 or to influence their behaviour. Therefore, power is like money in the bank. The person trying to
 cash a cheque not only has to have funds available they also have to give the impression of
 affluence to prevent checks being made on their signature for confirmation.

 Thus a person’s power base has to be known to others before it can be used effectively. If you are
 to increase the probability of influencing others you need information about how others perceive
 you and what sources of power they most respect.
Stage 4: Negotiate for Resolution
  ♦ Negotiate the big picture first
  ♦ Cover all the issues under consideration
  ♦ Shift between big picture and details
  ♦ Trade concessions
  ♦ Bargain value adds



The Big Picture First
  ♦ Start with broad principles
  ♦ Consider the intention of the negotiation
  ♦ “agree on the wood then the trees then the leaves” i.e. from the general to the specific
  ♦ Chunk up to agreement on big scale
  ♦ Then go down into the details
  Where you are unable to get agreement at even a metaphysical level (“nature” or “the planet”)
  then there are major problems


Concessions
  These are where each side starts to move further along their range of negotiation towards the
  other party. Concessions are rarely made without something comparable from the other side.

  It is a case of “if we….., then will you….?”


Compromise
  This is where each party ‘gives in’ to the other party. It can result in neither party getting what
  they want.

  How often have you been unable to decide with a partner about the film you want to see and
  ending up going to see something that neither of you wanted particularly to see but was a
  compromise solution? Perhaps the correct negotiated solution in this case would have been to go
  one night to the film that A wanted to see and another night to the film that B wanted to see?
  This way both of you gain something rather than an unsatisfactory compromise.

  Generally speaking, compromise is not a satisfactory outcome from negotiation.
Stage 5: Reach Consensus
  ♦ Restate final conclusions
  ♦ Check that everyone has authority to agree the deal
  ♦ Check with each party individually that they agree



Restate final conclusions
  It is important to restate all the stages of the agreement thoroughly and to get everyone to agree
  on them –preferably by signing – before a break. Otherwise people will forget details or will only
  remember the final points of the discussion. Try to construct the final agreement in words that
  you can understand – if later it has to go to lawyers then so be it, but he general wording should
  be readily comprehensible by all.




Check on authority to sign
  This is vital. If someone does not have this authority then until they get it you have not reached
  an agreement, just and understanding!




Check individually with each person
  By going round the table, restating the agreement and asking a simple

  “Do you agree with ………………………….?” And requiring a simple Yes or No you can judge
  whether everyone is really with you or not.

  Where people hesitate on Yes, or stutter, or say OK or I suppose so or whatever then you will
  know that they are not fully behind the agreement. A straight YES is needed (or even NO). It is
  the time to come off the fence and ‘put up or shut up’.

  Assuming that you get a straight YES then you can move to the close
Stage 6: Close
♦ Check that all parties are happy
♦ Shake hands or sign
♦ Inform all interested internal parties
♦ Keep promises
This is fairly self-explanatory. Some form of formal agreement is useful – a ritual such as signing
or shaking hands helps and then the necessity of ensuring that everyone informs the other
interested parties in their interest groups. If they have the authority to make the agreement then
this is not the time for others to disagree, it is for them to work with the negotiated agreement.

The final point – Keep Promises – may look obvious but there are some widely publicised
negotiations where on return one party or another fails to keep its promises. If made in good
faith they either have to be kept or a meeting convened to find out why they cannot be worked
and a solution found.

Congratulations! You have now finished learning about Negotiation Skills.
Exercise Six
Reassess your Current Skills as a Negotiator

  In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current
  negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself
  how you wish to be.




                                     Statement                               Rank        Want
                                                                             now         to be
  1        I find it easy to establish rapport
  2        I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions
  3        I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations
  4        I find it easy to observe interactions
  5        I find it easy to analyse offers
  6        I find it easy to determine other party’s value add
  7        I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits
  8        I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’
  9        I find it easy to change language to match that of other
           party
  10       I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is
           blocked
  11       I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals
  12       I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating

  Time:       Questionnaire 10 minutes

              Discussion        10 minutes
Exercise Seven
Action Plan


      •   Using the results of your self-assessment questionnaire (Exercise ), complete this Action
          Plan. You should aim to put in at least 3 actions that you will complete within a specific
          time frame

      You may need to ask for help from someone in the group, or the trainer, or your manager, or
      a colleague to complete the activity. If that person is here on the course, get their
      commitment now before you both leave.


                          ACTION                              By          With          Date
                                                             when?       whom?        completed
  1




  2




  3




  Timing:     20 minutes individual work

              15 minutes negotiation and discussion

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Negotiation Skills Course (Workbook)

  • 1. Negotiation Skills This course involves participants working on processes and procedures that result in successful negotiation through the use of group and individual activities, exercises and formal inputs. Objectives At the end of this course, delegates will be able to • Distinguish between bargaining, influencing and negotiating • Identify the key stages in negotiating • Explain the key stages of negotiating • Identify value added in negotiations • Distinguish between compromise, agreement and consensus • Practise the skills necessary for good negotiation • Establishing rapport • Active listening • Choice of language and • Perspectives • Practise negotiating to YES
  • 2. What is Negotiation? Definition negotiate – to confer with another with a view to compromise or agreement; to arrange or bring about a desired object; to clear, get over, dispose of an obstacle or difficulty Oxford English Dictionary Negotiation is the mutual act of coordinating areas of interest. Negotiation is …. Finding a way for all parties to gain something they value from the resolution of a position of conflict. You negotiate when you want to resolve something and both parties have something to gain from the interaction and exchange. You influence when you have more to gain than the other party Finding a way that enables both parties to work together in the future Dictating, that is telling someone to do something, only works for a short time or when there is an extreme emergency. If you want a long term relationship you need to negotiate. Generally used in circumstances where each party has a similar power level If you have the power then you don’t negotiate, you dictate ! What is Influencing? …. Where one party has power over another party A child can influence its parents to buy it an ice cream but it has little power to negotiate. When a child throws a tantrum it is ‘negotiating’ with its emotions ! Where one party may have nothing to gain from the agreed action Buying an ice-cream for a child has little impact on the parent, the person who gains the most pleasure is the child. In fact the parent ‘loses’ the money of the ice-cream. If one party loses and the other gains it is not negotiating that you are practising, but influencing. Sometime where only one party makes the final decision However much they scream, a child does not make the final decision, the parent does. In negotiating both parties make a decision, and stick to it.
  • 3. What is Bargaining? .. Where there is give and take from both sides Bargaining is a form of barter, a knocking down of the price from unrealistic high level and up from an unrealistic low level. Everyone knows in bargaining that the first offers are ‘ridiculous’ but they are ritual stakes in the ground Where neither party may appear to gain from the exchange You sometimes bargain to spread the misery – for instance sharing the chore of washing up or ironing. Normally done on specifics such as price Bargaining is about the detail, the specifics, not about the big picture. Is a sub-set of negotiation Once the basic principles have been agreed we bargain on the details, the nitty-gritty. If the original negotiation is shaky the deal can fall apart at the detailed bargaining stage.
  • 4. What Makes a Good Negotiator? Behavioural Criteria High observation skills Able to listen, observe and record activities of others; dealing with a number of individuals at once. Able to pick up the nuances in the room and to note body language. Planning and Organising The ability to set out in detail what they expect from the negotiations and to know their own limits. Able to move blockages Able to choose the appropriate tool or statement to move on from a block rather than ‘throw in the towel’. Able to notice when arguments are going round in circles and to identify barriers and to work systematically through these barriers. Develop rapport and empathy Able to quickly establish and maintain rapport. Able to see the others’ points of view and appreciate others’ feelings whilst holding onto their own view and desired outcome Flexible attitude Able to accept others viewpoints and arguments without giving in on all points. Ability to see the broader picture. Creativity Able to think round or through a problem and to try something different to help solve the issue.
  • 5. Exercise One Assess your Current Skills as a Negotiator In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself how you wish to be. Statement Rank Want now to be 1 I find it easy to establish rapport 2 I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions 3 I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations 4 I find it easy to observe interactions 5 I find it easy to analyse offers 6 I find it easy to determine other party’s value add 7 I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits 8 I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’ 9 I find it easy to change language to match that of other party 10 I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is blocked 11 I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals 12 I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating Time: Questionnaire 10 minutes Discussion 10 minutes
  • 6. Six Stages of Negotiation In essence there are six main stages of negotiation and the book and course will follow these through. These six stages are :- ♦ Preparation ♦ Discussions for information gathering ♦ Regroup ♦ Negotiating for resolution ♦ Reaching consensus ♦ Close
  • 7. Stage 1: Preparation… Identify the key issues ♦ What is the main problem? ♦ Who is concerned with it? ♦ What would happen if it did not exist? ♦ What happens now that it does exist? ♦ Who currently gains from it? ♦ Who currently loses from it? ♦ Get a very precise statement if the issues Set outcomes : best and realistic ♦ What is the best we can hope for? ♦ What is the worst? ♦ At what point do we back off (BATNA 1)? ♦ Can we phase any of our outcomes? ♦ What about the other party (ies) ? Set negotiation range (see overleaf) Establish your BATNA2 and your FEP3 (see overleaf) Obtain levels of negotiating authority 1 See below 2 Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement 3 Final Exit Point
  • 8. Outcomes It is worth spending time working out the answers to all the points below. Some are the negatives of the others but it is good to define outcomes precisely so that you can recognize when a negotiation is taking you to the correct path and when it is going off-course. ♦ What do we want? ♦ What do we not want? ♦ How do we want it? ♦ How don’t we want it ? ♦ Where do we want it? ♦ Where do we not want it? ♦ When do we want it? ♦ When don’t we want it? ♦ What will it be like? ♦ What will it be unlike? ♦ How will we know when we have got it? ♦ How will we know if we haven’t got it? Negotiation Range This is simply the difference between the minimum that we will accept and the maximum we want. For instance if we have two groups negotiating, Group A and Group B we would hope that they could come to an agreement. Where there is an overlap in the negotiation range then there can be agreement. Group A Group B Lowest price £1,200 Highest price £4,500 Highest price £3,000 Lowest price £2,500 There is a negotiation range overlap from £2,500 to £3,000
  • 9. BATNA = Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement Defined by Roger Fry and William Ury in “Getting to ‘YES’” If we cannot find a negotiated settlement – then what? It is always good to ask this question – especially when faced with the best possible contract or sale that your company has seen for several months. At what point would you walk away because the prospective customer was making excessive demands? In most circumstances there is an option we can take if we cannot reach agreement. If you ask your manager for a pay rise and are refused then your BATNA may be to resign and look for a better paid job elsewhere. It is not necessarily a pleasant option, but it is an option. In some war and conflict situations the BATNA can be further hostilities. If there is no alternative then we need to negotiate, negotiate, and negotiate ! So, set a BATNA and get agreement from your hierarchy on the BATNA. Then you will be able to negotiate in confidence. Final Exit Point Given a BATNA when do you exit proceedings? What is your ‘last stand’ position? Is this backed up in your hierarchy? – there is nothing worse than reaching what you believe to be your FEP, walking out of the meeting and then finding that people in your hierarchy take a different position. Think back to childhood, how often will a child ‘set’ parents against each other and having reached a block from one parent ask the other and find the block overturned? The effect this has on the authority of the parents is marked. Negotiating Authority ♦ How much leeway do you have? ♦ How long will it take to go to a higher level? ♦ How do you keep higher levels informed of situation? ♦ When do you pull out of the discussions and send in a higher authority?
  • 10. Communications Research into the effects of communications has shown that the effects of body language or non- verbal communication is very high. This means that for the Negotiator you need to be able to interpret body language and understand what the individual is ‘saying’ with their arms, eyes and posture. One word of warning - be careful to take a cluster of movements into account, not just one single gesture. Mehrabian (1969) This research found that:- Message impact: Verbal 7% Vocal 38% Non-verbal 55% 100% Birdwhistell (1971) Birdwhistell found that the average person speaks words for a total of 11 minutes a day. An average sentence lasts only 2.5 seconds and most communication (65%) is non-verbal. Like Mehrabian he found that the verbal component of face-to-face conversations is less than 35% and that over 65% of communication is done non-verbally. He contends that a well-trained person can tell what a person is saying by the gestures they are making and that by looking at gestures, Birdwhistell could tell what language people were talking! Verbal communication is used for conveying information; non-verbal for feelings and showing attitudes. You will do an exercise on the words chosen and how they indicate what senses an individual chooses to process information with most of the time. Be sure that as a Negotiator you use a range of words so that everyone in the room can understand your meaning.
  • 11. Exercise Two Communication Questionnaire You have ten minutes to complete the following questionnaire. Please answer every question. For each of the following statements, please place a number next to every phase. Use the following numbering system to indicate your preference. 4 = closest to describing you 3 = next best description 2 = next best 1 = least descriptive of you 1. I make important decisions based on: • how I picture it working V • how I feel about the person K • which answer sounds most convincing A • a detailed analysis of all the issues D 2. During an argument, I am most likely to be influenced by: • how the other party sounds A • how I feel they are feeling about the topic K • whether I can see the other party’s viewpoint V • the precision of the other party’s argument D 3. I most easily demonstrate my state of mind by: • stating my feelings K • the colours and clothes I wear V • the words I choose D • my tone of voice A 4. It is easiest for me to: • select attractive colour combinations V • identify the key rational points of an argument D • tune in a radio setting A • pick the most comfortable piece of furniture K 5. • I am quick to make sense of new facts and information D • I am in harmony with my surroundings A • I am constantly aware of how my clothes feel on my body K • I have a strong sense of colours and how they blend together V
  • 12. Scoring: Add the numbers associated with each letter. There are five entries for each letter. V K A D 1 2 3 4 5 TOTAL
  • 13. NLP4 Communication Indicators Visual Auditory (Tonal) Kinaesthetic Auditory Digital V A K D Memorise by seeing pictures. Can repeat things back to Respond to physical Spend some time talking Often have trouble you easily. rewards and touching. to themselves remembering verbal Often distracted by noise. Often talk very slowly and Memorise steps, instructions. Learn by listening. breathy. procedures and sequences Less distracted by noise. Like music and to talk on Memorise by doing or Want to know if Can be bored by long verbal the telephone. walking through something makes sense. sentences, because their something. Tone of voice and words minds tend to wander. used are important. Go by ‘gut feel’ see hear feel sense look listen touch experience appear sound(s) grasp understand view make music get hold of think show harmonise slop through learn dawn tune in/out catch on process reveal be all ears tap into decide envision ring bells make contact motivate illuminate silence throw out consider twinkle be heard hard change clear resonate unfeeling perceive foggy deaf (ear) concrete insensitive hazy dissonance scrape distinct focused overtones get a hold conceive crystal clear unhearing solid know Flash attune suffer question Imagine outspoken unbudging be conscious Picture tell impression analyse Sparkling announce touch base communicate I see what you mean on the same wavelength get a grip on the idea what are the facts? looking forward to.. speak your mind hold on a moment lets get down to basics A dark cloud on the horizon word for word a cool customer the bottom line is... Taking a dim view loud and clear put my finger on it what precisely does this Lighten up a bit what do you say? heated argument mean? a smooth operator 4 NLP = Neuro Linguistic Programming
  • 14. Exercise Three Practising Different Communication Styles • Pair up with someone on the course whose highest score is in a dimension that you score low in. For instance if you are low on Visual but high on Auditory Digital; then pair with someone who is high in Visual and low in Auditory Digital. • Spend five minutes describing your house to the other person in your lowest style- try to use words from that dimension. • If you are listening, try to help if they slip into a different style - if they try giving you facts ask for pictures; if they tell you about sounds ask them for feelings and so on. • After five minutes reverse roles. • As a pair, consider the implications of this information for good Negotiation Timing: 20 minutes
  • 15. Language - Recovering Choices Gathering Information People use a kind of shorthand when speaking. We generalise and delete information. This exercise helps you to be able to recognise this and ask the appropriate questions to recover the missing information. General and Specifics General ♦ May present things in random order ♦ Have overviews and summaries ♦ Use concepts and abstracts ♦ Use simpler sentences with few modifiers or details ♦ Appear to be extremely vague and woolly (to a Specific) Specifics ♦ Speak in step-by-step sequences ♦ Use a great deal of modifiers, adverbs, adjectives ♦ Use proper names for people and places ♦ Only seem aware of the step before and the step after ♦ Appear to use exceptional details (to a General person)
  • 16. Generalisation Examples SITUATION HEAR ASK MEANING Universal words Every, all, never, Every? (Do you really mean always, etc. All? that) you always…..?? Always? Restriction of Possibility Can't, impossible, "What stops you?" What barriers do you unable "What would happen perceive? if you did?" Restriction of Have to, Necessary, "Or, (what would What consequences Necessity: must happen?") do you perceive? "What would happen if we didn't?" Nominalisations communication, “Who’s not?” “How How does the broad Words which describe a transportation etc. would you like to?” category affect your process, that exist in name “What does … mean specifically? only to you?” Unspecified nouns and Costs are rising, “which costs/work What does this verbs work is harder, life is in particular?” category represent more stressed “Whose life?” specifically for you? Simple negatives Not sure, not happy, “about what in Extract beyond the particular?” negative to find out where the apprehension arises Lack of reference They aren’t happy; “Who specifically?” Try to encourage He doesn’t like this “Why is that person identification of the affected?” individual or group concerned
  • 17. Exercise Four Language - Generalisations In pairs and using the following examples, make up examples from your day to day work for each of the categories, and assign an appropriate information recovery question Universal words Words which include the whole world, all time and space, such as all , ever, never, every, no one, always, nothing etc. Example "We never give discounts" • Your partner asks: "Never?" "What would happen if you did?" My example Recovery question
  • 18. Restriction of Possibility Words which claim that something is possible / impossible and can or can't be done. Think of something which for you is 'impossible', or something at work you can't do Example I can't ask for a pay rise • Your partner asks: "What stops you?" • Your partner asks: "What would happen if you did?" My example Recovery question
  • 19. Restriction of Necessity Words which claim that something must occur, is necessary Example “I have to seek authority for that” Have to, Necessary, must • Your partner asks: "Or what would happen?" • Your partner asks: "What would happen if we didn't?" My example Recovery question
  • 20. Nominalisations Words which describe a process, that exist in name only, making them nouns for example: communication, transportation, etc. Example "We want to improve communications." • Your partner asks: "Who's not communicating what to whom?" • ...or : "How would you like to communicate?" My example Recovery question
  • 21. Unspecified nouns and verbs Example "Costs are rising" • Your partner asks: "Which costs?" • Your partner asks: "Rising in what way", "Compared with what?" • Your partner asks: "How specifically are they rising?" My example Recovery question
  • 22. Simple Negatives Example "I am not sure" • Your partner asks: "About what specifically?" My example Recovery question
  • 23. Lack of reference Words which indicate a third party such as they, others Example "They won’t like it" • Your partner asks: "Who specifically won’t like it?" My example Recovery question
  • 24. Stage 2: Discussions ♦ Meet to discover ♦ Practise active listening ♦ Avoid commitment ♦ Establish rapport • Identify language patterns • Identify interests and needs • Separate the people from the problem • Focus on interests not positions Meet to discover The original meeting is to find out what the other party wants and needs and to express your wants and needs as well. It is an opportunity to share information and to start to create rapport with the people. If you make it clear that this is what you want from the first meeting then neither side will be disappointed with the meeting. Active listening This is a major topic and a vital skill in negotiating. It is covered in depth overleaf.
  • 25. Active Listening Introduction We spend up to 80 per cent of our conscious hours using four basic communication skills: ♦ writing ♦ reading ♦ speaking and ♦ listening Listening accounts for more than 50 per cent of that time, so we're actually spending 40 per cent of our conscious time just listening. We tend to give little attention to the listening part of the of the communication process, which is amazing considering the facts stated here. On average, people retain only 25 per cent of what they hear. There are many reasons why this is the case: ♦ We perceive listening as a passive activity and find the prolonged concentration required impossible to maintain ♦ The average person speaks at about 130 words per minute, whereas our thinking speed is about 500 words per minute. Consequently, we are continually jumping ahead of what is actually being said. We often, therefore, go on 'mental walk-about', thinking of other things ♦ We don't clear our minds beforehand so the 'noise in our system' shuts out or distorts what is being said ♦ The listener is tense with emotion so that his or her ability to listen is seriously impaired ♦ We are concerned with our reply so that the concentration is on this rather than what is being said to us ♦ The perception of the listener may so differ from the perception of the talker that a totally different interpretation of the information may occur How can we improve our listening? Quite simply by getting the sender of the message involved with the receiver to create a two- way communication. The technique of making the process of communication two-way is called 'ACTIVE LISTENING', which as the name suggests is an active not a passive process.
  • 26. Active Listening Steps The steps in active listening are: A receives a message B receives a message. This involves concentrating fully on what is being said B states what s(he) has understood but makes no evaluations A either agrees with B's interpretation or, if not, sends the message again This process is continually repeated until understanding by both parties has been achieved Active Listening Techniques Two techniques that can help us become more competent at active listening are Summarising and Reflecting. Summarising This is concerned with the factual side of the message and involves stating back to the speaker the listener's understanding of the information. This paraphrasing should take place at regular intervals and has the advantage of: ♦ checking understanding ♦ offering opportunities for clarification ♦ showing the speaker that you have been listening to what has been said, thus demonstrating your interest ♦ giving the speaker feedback on how well the message has been expressed Useful phrases are: “As I understand it, what you are saying is ....” “So your point is that ....” Reflecting This is like holding a mirror in front of the speaker, reflecting back phrases as you hear them. This increases clarity and lets the speaker know that you are hearing accurately. You may be reflecting back data or feelings. In the case of the latter, recognition of the speaker's feelings builds empathy between you.
  • 27. Non-verbal communication Active listening is greatly enhanced by the judicious use of non-verbal communication, which includes: • the receiver making eye contact with the speaker 60 - 80 per cent of the time • nodding and shaking the head when appropriate • mirroring the speaker's body language, although it is important not to 'mimic' the speaker's posture Research has shown that we take in 7% by words, 38% by tone of voice and 55% from body language. That means that HOW something is said, and HOW they hold themselves reveals more than WHAT they say.
  • 28. How to Improve your Listening Skills ACTION REASONING You must care enough to want to improve. Without this motivation, it will be too much effort Try to find an uninterrupted area in which to Keeping your train of thought is difficult converse. when there are obstructions to concentration Be mindful of your own biases and prejudices… …so that they don't unduly influence your listening Pay careful attention to what's being said. Do not stop listening in order to plan a rebuttal to a particular point Be aware of 'red flag' words that might trigger Examples of this are 'Women's Libber' and an overreaction or a stereotyped reaction. 'Male Chauvinist' Don't allow yourself to get too far ahead of the Avoid trying to understand things too soon speaker At intervals, try to paraphrase what people Give them the opportunity to learn what you have been saying. think you've been saying Watch for key or 'buzz' words if you've lost This happens particularly when the speaker is the train of the conversation. long-winded or has a tendency to ramble Don't interrupt to demand clarification of You can ask for these details at the end of insignificant or irrelevant details their talk time
  • 29. Avoiding commitment At the first meeting ensure that you take all suggestions ‘without prejudice’. This enables you to listen to everything to put a number of proposals forward but without either side committing themselves irrevocably. This is best prefaced by “What if…” or “How would it be if we …” or “As a suggestion, if we..” Establishing rapport Rapport arises in many different ways. The key factors to establishing rapport are: • Recognising the other party as an individual • Recognising the person, not the issue • Sharing your own feelings • Speaking in their language • Trusting the other party’s competence • Matching voice tone and speed • Eye contact • Finding out the other’s interests • Listening well Identifying language patterns NLP suggests that there are certain patterns of language that individuals prefer ♦ Visual – look, see, scenario, illustrate, brilliant ♦ Sound – hear, listen, sounds like, in harmony ♦ Feeling - grasp, get to grips with, concrete proposals
  • 30. You have already Included in language patterns are the use of filters. Filters affect our decision-making ability and actions. They include: ♦ Towards – away from ♦ Global – specific ♦ Match – mismatch Towards – away from This filter determines whether we are motivated by a desire to try something different or to avoid something unpleasant from the past. When you hear people talking about “boldly going” they are Towards people; when they talk about “from poverty to riches” they are Away From people. In negotiating a pay rise you will appeal to a Towards person by saying that with more pay you will be able to focus on the future and the challenges it provides; you will gain more attention from an Away From person by saying that the pay rise will prevent you from looking elsewhere for another job and saving them from having to find someone else to do your work. Global – specific This filter explains how we approach the world. Global people see the whole planet and the world of work – they find it hard to concentrate for long on minute details. Specific people see the world as linear, one task at a time and sometimes fail to take in the whole picture. In negotiating there is room for both approaches. However the better approach is to settle and agree the global picture first then focus in on the details. Otherwise both parties will be unsatisfied with the outcome. Some warring factions cannot even agree at very high levels of globalisation (human life is sacred) which makes negotiation nigh on impossible. Match – mismatch The human brain is designed to look for similarities to try to form some patterns of the world and to reduce the ‘confusion’ of all the millions of messages hitting the brain every second. For some people they seek patterns too readily and can match a great many items and situations. For others things are all different, unique and there is no room for matching and therefore categorizing and generalities. In negotiating you may wish to ,match a current situation with a past one and then try for the same resolution. With matchers this will work; mis-matchers will not recognize even some similarities.
  • 31. Observing and Recording It is important to develop skills in observing and recording as a Negotiator. You will need to do both these at speed, and unobtrusively, when you are working with a group. You may in some circumstances wish to ask another member of the group to record for you, but be aware that this will take them out of the group situation and they may find re-entry difficult. Observing This skill involves seeing without judging what happens. Within a group, interactions occur between various members; people react to statements; body language gives a clue to feelings. It is very important to watch for non-spoken communication: gestures, facial expressions and the like and also to listen to the tone of the spoken words which can also convey strong messages. The task of observing is to watch what happens : who says what; who does what; who sits beside whom; is this always consistent; who avoids whom. Recording It is important that you devise a method of recording the group interactions - verbal and non- verbal and practise doing this accurately and quickly. This means that you can recall precise words and gestures where necessary at group review or when there is some problem with your group. Records should be accurate and precise. Try not to summarise but to record precisely and to work out your own shorthand to help with speed. As the group process is important you cannot be interrupting them to get them to slow down while you write. If you are recording body language then draw stick people; use initials and also use some of the methods suggested below. You will need to use your discretion when to write/record and when to observe.
  • 32. Tools for Observing and Recording Plus/Minus Sheets A plus/minus sheet is a way of recording ‘good’ and ‘bad’ actions and words. It is used where there can be some concerns over the group process and where the group seems to be fighting - perhaps at the storming stage of group dynamics. A sheet of paper is divided into two columns, + and -, and you record what takes place in the columns. Note that this involves an element of subjective judgement by the Negotiator so you need to establish what good and bad means in your terms - probably helping or hindering the group attain its purpose. + - KV Let’s reconsider the problem again RA No we all know what it is, the stupid accounts system KV That’s your opinion - I think it could be a wider issue MS The orders keep arriving late at JV Sales keep promising the earth customer sites and do not consider the problems in dispatch Action/Say Sheets This is similar to a plus/minus sheet except that here, rather than getting the Negotiator to make judgements as they record the differences in body language and words are recorded. This will include eye contact; table thumping; moving in/out from the group; arm movements; facial expressions. Again it is of value in review where you are interested in getting opinions from all members of the group, not just the vocal ones. You can introduce a review by saying “Sue, I noticed that you were frowning when Ray said “ we all know what (the problem) is, the stupid accounts system” - what were you thinking?” A say/action sheet is also a two column sheet where you record spoken words and also body language of speaker and others. This is important. Often groups need Negotiation because the members are poor at recognising non-verbal communication from others, or will not acknowledge it. Again you need to develop some shorthand - pictures, phrases, and so on to capture all the nuances of non-verbal actions. Note: It is easier to record actions than the words - they stay longer in your mind.
  • 33. Spoken Actions RA we all know what the problem is, the SJ frowns; stupid accounts system MS raises eyes KL sits forward Group Observation Sheet We have prepared some Group Observation Sheets that will help you observe a group closely and focus on behaviours. This sheet asks some questions and allows space for initials of individuals. It can combine with a ‘plan’ of seating which you can also use to note how many times individuals speak or are spoken to. Do this by using either your own notation or the following:- S = Speaker R = Receiver Quickly you will see a pattern starting to emerge in any group with ‘speakers’ and ‘receivers’.
  • 34. Exercise Five Group Observation Checklist Find a situation where you have the opportunity to observe a group in action. This may have to be watching your course colleagues discuss some topic or you may think about a recent group or team meeting that you attended. If using memory, then make sure that the meeting was in the past five days since our memories are notoriously bad at remembering details. Complete the checklist below:- Who talks to whom? • Sketch the seating plan and put initials of each person in their appropriate places. • Is there any ‘ranking’ order of seating? Do people sit next to ‘friends’?
  • 35. Remember S and R notation. Checklist questions Initials Who talks the most? To whom do they talk ? Who talks to them ? When people are talking, where do they look? Who interrupts whom? Who is the leader of the group? Who talks the least? How are silent people treated? Are some people listened to more than others? Do they also do most of the talking? Is there evidence of competition? Between whom? What is it? Are decisions made by the few or everyone? Who listens the most? How do you know they are listening? Who is telling others their ideas? Who is selling their ideas? How are ideas handled? Who summarises? Who keeps the group on target? Who keeps time?
  • 36. Key Quotes In the table below capture some of the positive and negative quotes said at the meeting and the initials of the person saying them. If you have time, write in brackets the reaction of the group to these statements. Positive quotes by Negative quotes by
  • 37. Meeting topic Did the topic of the meeting affect the way in which the meeting ran? Were people’s behaviours different from what you normally expect? General atmosphere What is your impression of the general atmosphere in the meeting? Is it friendly? hostile? resigned? competitive? enthusiastic? What gives you this impression? - state words used; gestures; asides; body language Leaving the meeting Did the meeting end with a feeling of accomplishment? Were people positive about the meeting? Was it productive in the views of the attendees? What evidence do you have for these views?
  • 38. Stage 3: Regroup ♦ Time out for thought – evaluating the meeting ♦ Identify and categorise findings about other parties ♦ Revisit • outcomes, • Range, and • Value Adds Meeting Evaluation Effective meetings occur when Negotiators and participants work to find a better way to get the job done. Participants come to a meeting with ideas, skills, knowledge and experience. The Negotiator’s job is to create an environment where ‘evaluation’ becomes a normal part of the process. Sources of Evaluation There are three potential sources for evaluating meetings: ♦ Self-evaluation by the Negotiator ♦ Evaluation by a trained observer ♦ Evaluation by participants All should contribute to improving a meeting. However, evaluations by trained observers and participants tend to be broader in scope and more objective.
  • 39. Self-Evaluation by the Negotiator After a meeting is over, a Negotiator should ask, “How did I do?” “Where did things go well, and why?” “Where did I have problems, and why?” “What would I do differently next time?” This is the minimum evaluation to be considered. A Negotiator will have impressions about things that went well and problem areas that were encountered. A few minutes reflections on these experiences can be helpful. Evaluation by a Trained Observer A trained observer should be familiar with the ingredients of an effective meeting, skilled in making objective evaluation and accomplished at giving feedback. It is difficult to find someone with all these qualifications. A meeting observer usually sits at the back of the room and records notes on an evaluation form. Notes that follow a ‘timeline’ of the meeting are most helpful. Following the meeting, the observer may either report to the group and invite discussion about how to improve the effectiveness of future meetings, or the trained observer may choose to report privately to the meeting Negotiator to discuss improvement needs. Evaluation by Participants Participants are an excellent resource for evaluation. They have feelings and reactions to meetings, events and leadership styles that others may not choose to acknowledge. An open discussion is usually the best way to get feedback from participants. After the Meeting If you do not have time at the end of the meeting, these evaluation techniques are available: • Distribute evaluation forms to participants asking them to complete and return them to you • Telephone a cross-section of the group and request a verbal evaluation of the meeting • Visit members of the meeting and ask them to evaluate in a face-to-face situation • Check with the meeting ‘owner’ against the objective agreed beforehand
  • 40. Benefits of Evaluation The benefits of an evaluation will be worthwhile if the following conditions exist: • You want to improve future meetings • You receive honest input from evaluators • Evaluators are candid in their assessment • You receive feedback in a positive way • You incorporate improvements into future meetings Value Added ♦ What can you give other parties that adds value to them but involves negligible cost or expense on your part? ♦ What else would you like from the other parties that is outside current scope of negotiation? ♦ Is your extra demand easy to fulfil? ♦ Is your ‘gift’ easy to fulfil? When deciding on a Value Add you must think of something that would benefit the other party, that is in your gift to offer and that will not cost you much in terms of money or resources. It may be something such as a help line phone number for 30 days after purchase; allowing them to use your company’s name as a customer on their literature; making the product in their company colours; whatever.
  • 41. Power ♦ Power is given as well as taken ♦ Power comes from • The individual • Their title • The situation • Individual abilities ♦ Ensure you have maximum power before negotiating – but don’t expect necessarily to use it ! It is the perception others hold about your power that gives you the ability to induce compliance or to influence their behaviour. Therefore, power is like money in the bank. The person trying to cash a cheque not only has to have funds available they also have to give the impression of affluence to prevent checks being made on their signature for confirmation. Thus a person’s power base has to be known to others before it can be used effectively. If you are to increase the probability of influencing others you need information about how others perceive you and what sources of power they most respect.
  • 42. Stage 4: Negotiate for Resolution ♦ Negotiate the big picture first ♦ Cover all the issues under consideration ♦ Shift between big picture and details ♦ Trade concessions ♦ Bargain value adds The Big Picture First ♦ Start with broad principles ♦ Consider the intention of the negotiation ♦ “agree on the wood then the trees then the leaves” i.e. from the general to the specific ♦ Chunk up to agreement on big scale ♦ Then go down into the details Where you are unable to get agreement at even a metaphysical level (“nature” or “the planet”) then there are major problems Concessions These are where each side starts to move further along their range of negotiation towards the other party. Concessions are rarely made without something comparable from the other side. It is a case of “if we….., then will you….?” Compromise This is where each party ‘gives in’ to the other party. It can result in neither party getting what they want. How often have you been unable to decide with a partner about the film you want to see and ending up going to see something that neither of you wanted particularly to see but was a compromise solution? Perhaps the correct negotiated solution in this case would have been to go one night to the film that A wanted to see and another night to the film that B wanted to see? This way both of you gain something rather than an unsatisfactory compromise. Generally speaking, compromise is not a satisfactory outcome from negotiation.
  • 43. Stage 5: Reach Consensus ♦ Restate final conclusions ♦ Check that everyone has authority to agree the deal ♦ Check with each party individually that they agree Restate final conclusions It is important to restate all the stages of the agreement thoroughly and to get everyone to agree on them –preferably by signing – before a break. Otherwise people will forget details or will only remember the final points of the discussion. Try to construct the final agreement in words that you can understand – if later it has to go to lawyers then so be it, but he general wording should be readily comprehensible by all. Check on authority to sign This is vital. If someone does not have this authority then until they get it you have not reached an agreement, just and understanding! Check individually with each person By going round the table, restating the agreement and asking a simple “Do you agree with ………………………….?” And requiring a simple Yes or No you can judge whether everyone is really with you or not. Where people hesitate on Yes, or stutter, or say OK or I suppose so or whatever then you will know that they are not fully behind the agreement. A straight YES is needed (or even NO). It is the time to come off the fence and ‘put up or shut up’. Assuming that you get a straight YES then you can move to the close
  • 44. Stage 6: Close ♦ Check that all parties are happy ♦ Shake hands or sign ♦ Inform all interested internal parties ♦ Keep promises This is fairly self-explanatory. Some form of formal agreement is useful – a ritual such as signing or shaking hands helps and then the necessity of ensuring that everyone informs the other interested parties in their interest groups. If they have the authority to make the agreement then this is not the time for others to disagree, it is for them to work with the negotiated agreement. The final point – Keep Promises – may look obvious but there are some widely publicised negotiations where on return one party or another fails to keep its promises. If made in good faith they either have to be kept or a meeting convened to find out why they cannot be worked and a solution found. Congratulations! You have now finished learning about Negotiation Skills.
  • 45. Exercise Six Reassess your Current Skills as a Negotiator In the questions below, rank yourself from 1 poor to 5 highly skilled in terms of your current negotiating ability. Then, bearing in mind the type of deals you will be negotiating, rank yourself how you wish to be. Statement Rank Want now to be 1 I find it easy to establish rapport 2 I find it easy to set outcomes in advance of discussions 3 I find it easy to obtain authority for negotiations 4 I find it easy to observe interactions 5 I find it easy to analyse offers 6 I find it easy to determine other party’s value add 7 I find it easy to determine other party’s negotiation limits 8 I find it easy to determine other party’s ‘point of no return’ 9 I find it easy to change language to match that of other party 10 I find it easy to help a discussion to progress when it is blocked 11 I find it easy to give effective feedback to individuals 12 I find it easy to maintain my own integrity whilst negotiating Time: Questionnaire 10 minutes Discussion 10 minutes
  • 46. Exercise Seven Action Plan • Using the results of your self-assessment questionnaire (Exercise ), complete this Action Plan. You should aim to put in at least 3 actions that you will complete within a specific time frame You may need to ask for help from someone in the group, or the trainer, or your manager, or a colleague to complete the activity. If that person is here on the course, get their commitment now before you both leave. ACTION By With Date when? whom? completed 1 2 3 Timing: 20 minutes individual work 15 minutes negotiation and discussion