2. After this module you will be able
to
• Understand Interpersonal Communication
• Somewhat relate to the principles of
positive interpersonal communication
• Through a case, experience how
interpersonal communication escalates to
conflict.
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
3. Managerial Misconceptions
Myth Reality
Basic Concept Authority Interdependence
Source of Power Formal Authority “Everything But”
Key Players Subordinates Includes those outside
your formal authority
Key
Competencies
Technical Technical, Human,
Conceptual
Desired Outcomes Control, Compliance Commitment,
Empowerment
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
4. Styles of Communication
• Passive
• Aggressive
• Assertive
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
7. Descriptive not
Evaluative
Communication
Problem Centered
and not Person
Centered
Communication
Specific not Generic
Communication
Validating not
Invalidating
Communication
Congruent not
Incongruent
Communication
Owned not
Disowned
Communication
Supportive Listening
not One-way Listening
Conjunctive not
Disjunctive
Communication
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
8. TWO DIMENSIONAL MODEL OF
CONFLICT BEHAVIOUR
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
9. Congruent Communication
• A focus on honest messages where verbal
statements match words and feelings.
Example: Your behavior really upset me.
Not: Do I seem upset? No, everything’s fine.
A statement like “What a nice day” or :I am
just here to help” may mean the opposite if
said sarcastically or without sincerity.
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
10. Descriptive Communication
• A focus on describing an objective occurrence,
describing your reaction to it, and offering a
suggested alternative.
Example: Here is what happened; here is my
reaction; here is a suggestion that would be
more acceptable.
Not: You are wrong in doing whatever you did.
This may lead to arguments and counter
arguments, bad feelings and a deterioration in
interpersonal relationships.
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
11. Problem Oriented
• An focus on problems and issues that can be
changed rather than people and their
characteristics.
Example: How can we solve this problem?
Not: You did this, so this has happened.
Statements such as “You shouted upon me” or “you
are insensitive” describe the person, but
statements like “We don’t seem to see things in
the same way” or “It would be good if we sat and
talked” describe problems.
When problem oriented, common reaction is people
tend to defend themselves or reject it outright.8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
12. Validating
• A focus on
statements that
communicate respect,
flexibility,
collaboration and
areas of agreement
Example: I have some
ideas, but do you
have any
suggestions?
Not: We’ll do it this way.
Validating
Superiority
oriented
Rigidity Indifference
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
13. Specific
• A focus on specific events or behaviors and
avoidance of general, extreme or either-or
statements.
Example: You interrupted me three times during
the meeting.
Not: You’re always trying to get attention.
Extreme or general statements lead tto
defensiveness or disconfirmation.
Example: A: “You never ask for my advice.”
B: “Yes, I do. I always consult you before making a
decision.
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
14. Conjunctive
• A focus on that flow from
what has previously been
said and facilitate
interaction.
Example: Relating to what
you said, I would like to
raise another point.
Not: I want to say
something. (regardless of
what was said earlier)
• 3 factors need to be
considered:
a. Taking turns speaking
b. Management of timing
c. Topic Control
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
15. Owned
• A focus on taking responsibility for your
own statements by using personal (“I”)
words.
Example: I have decided to turn down your
request because…
Not: You have a pretty good idea but it
wouldn’t get approved.
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
16. Supportive Listening
• A focus on using a variety
of appropriate responses,
with a bias towards
reflective responses.
Example: What do you think
are the obstacles
standing in the way of
improvement?
Not: As I said before, you
make too many mistakes.
You are just not
performing.
• Supportive listening
conveys:
I’m interested in you as a
person, and I think what
you feel is important. I
respect your thoughts and
even if I don’t agree with
them, I know they are valid
for you. I think you are
worth listening and I want
you to know that I’m the
kind of person you can talk
to.
8/21/2013 10:57 PM Dr Shailja Agarwal, IIM Rohtak
