Here are the key points I took away from our discussion:
- It's important to make every effort to resolve conflicts biblically through open communication, forgiveness, and compromise where possible. However, we must also accept that some conflicts may remain unresolved if the other party is unwilling.
- In those situations, the best approach is to leave room for God's judgment while continuing to respond with patience, kindness and doing good on our end. Taking matters into our own hands through retaliation or revenge will only make the situation worse.
- Practicing forgiveness, even when reconciliation isn't possible, is vital for our own spiritual and emotional well-being. Holding onto bitterness serves no good purpose.
- Overall, the
2. To understand the roots and causes of conflict
To understand the potential of conflict
for ill or for good
To learn how to deal with conflicts
through personal peacemaking
To learn how to deal with conflicts
through mediated peacemaking
To follow God’s principles when
conflicts cannot be resolved
3. God’s Principles
Matthew 18:15-20
15“If your brother sins against you,
go and show him his fault, just
between the two of you. If he
listens to you, you have won your
brother over.”
4. God’s Principles
Matthew 5:21-26
21"You have heard that it was said
to the people long ago, 'Do not
murder, and anyone who murders
will be subject to judgment.' 22But I
tell you that anyone who is angry
with his brother will be subject to
5. God’s Principles
Matthew 5:21-26
judgment. Again, anyone who says
to his brother, 'Raca, ' is
answerable to the Sanhedrin. But
anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be
in danger of the fire of hell.
6. God’s Principles
Matthew 5:21-26
23"Therefore, if you are offering
your gift at the altar and there
remember that your brother has
something against you, 24leave
your gift there in front of the altar.
7. God’s Principles
Matthew 5:21-26
First go and be reconciled to your
brother; then come and offer your
gift.
8. God’s Principles
Matthew 5:21-26
25"Settlematters quickly with your
adversary who is taking you to
court. Do it while you are still with
him on the way, or he may hand
you over to the judge, and the
judge may hand you over to the
9. God’s Principles
Matthew 5:21-26
officer, and you may be thrown
into prison. 26I tell you the truth,
you will not get out until you have
paid the last penny.
10. God’s Principles
Romans 12:18
18If
it is possible, as far as it
depends on you, live at peace with
everyone.
11. Key Insights
• In any conflict situation, both parties
are responsible before God to try to
resolve it.
• Both parties are accountable before
God if one or both of them refuse to
resolve it.
• In some situations, conflicts may not be
resolved peacefully because…
12. Key Insights
• One or both may refuse to abide by
Scriptural principles of peacemaking for
various reasons.
• In a stalemate the “cooperative” party
must choose to respond biblically to
the situation regardless of the other
party’s unbiblical response.
13. Stalemate Options
• Overlook the offense
• Forgive the offender before God
• Ask God for justice
• Go your separate ways for the
time being (truce)
• Accept the unfairness and
continue doing good.
15. Overlook the Offense
Proverbs 10:12
12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers
over all wrongs.
1 Peter 4:8
8Above all, love each other deeply, because
love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Corinthians 13:5
5(Love) keeps no record of wrongs.
16. Overlook the Offense
When not to overlook…
• When God or His name is being blasphemed
• When your relationship with the person has
already been affected or changed
• When other people are being hurt
• When the truth of the Gospel is being
compromised (i.e. when sin is involved)
• When the offender is in danger of
experiencing God’s wrath or judgment
17. Overlook the Offense
Galatians 6:1-5
1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin,
you who are spiritual should restore him
gently. But watch yourself, or you also may
be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens,
and in this way you will fulfill the law of
Christ.
18. Overlook the Offense
Galatians 6:1-5
3If anyone thinks he is something when he
is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one
should test his own actions. Then he can
take pride in himself, without comparing
himself to somebody else, 5for each one
should carry his own load.
20. Interpersonal Transaction
Luke 17:3-4
"If your brother sins, rebuke him,
and if he repents, forgive him. 4If he
sins against you seven times in a day,
and seven times comes back to you
and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."
21. Personal Transaction
Mark 11:25
25And when you stand praying, if you
hold anything against
anyone, forgive him, so that your
Father in heaven may forgive you
your sins."[
22. Forgive the Offender
When you forgive a person before
God…
• You are not yet reconciled with
that person.
• You are only set free from the
power of bitterness in your heart.
23. Ask God for Justice
1 Samuel 24:15
15 May the LORD be our judge and
decide between us. May he consider
my cause and uphold it; may he
vindicate me by delivering me from
your hand.
24. Ask God for Justice
Psalm 43:1
1Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an
ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and
wicked men.
25. Ask God for Justice
Psalm 54:1-2
1 Save me, O God, by your name;
vindicate me by your might.
2 Hear my prayer, O God;
listen to the words of my mouth.
26. Ask God for Justice
Asking God for justice does
not mean taking revenge.
It means you’re leaving the
judgment to God by faith.
27. Ask God for Justice
Romans 12:17-21
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil.
Be careful to do what is right in the
eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible,
as far as it depends on you, live at
peace with everyone.
28. Ask God for Justice
Romans 12:17-21
19Do not take revenge, my friends,
but leave room for God's wrath, for
it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I
will repay,” says the Lord.
29. Ask God for Justice
Romans 12:17-21
20On the contrary: “If your enemy is
hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give
him something to drink. In doing
this, you will heap burning coals on
his head.” 21Do not be overcome by
evil, but overcome evil with good.
30. Part ways
Acts 15:37-41
37Barnabas wanted to take John, also
called Mark, with them, 38but Paul did
not think it wise to take him, because
he had deserted them in Pamphylia
and had not continued with them in
the work.
31. Part ways
Acts 15:37-41
39They had such a sharp disagreement
that they parted company. Barnabas
took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40but
Paul chose Silas and left, commended
by the brothers to the grace of the
Lord. 41He went through Syria and
Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
32. Part ways
2 Timothy 4:11
11Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and
bring him with you, because he is
helpful to me in my ministry.
33. Part ways
When you part ways…
• Remember to pray for each other
• Don’t malign each other at your back
• Don’t add insult to injury
• Speak well of each other
• Avoid factionalism or triangulating
• Don’t rejoice in times of failure
34. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
12Dearfriends, do not be surprised at
the painful trial you are suffering, as
though something strange were
happening to you.
35. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
13But rejoice that you participate in the
sufferings of Christ, so that you may be
overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
36. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
14Ifyou are insulted because of the
name of Christ, you are blessed, for
the Spirit of glory and of God rests on
you.
37. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
15If
you suffer, it should not be as a
murderer or thief or any other kind of
criminal, or even as a meddler.
38. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
16However, if you suffer as a Christian,
do not be ashamed, but praise God
that you bear that name.
39. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
17For it is time for judgment to begin
with the family of God; and if it begins
with us, what will the outcome be for
those who do not obey the gospel of
God?
40. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
18And, "If it is hard for the righteous to
be saved, what will become of the
ungodly and the sinner?"
41. Accept the Unfairness
1 Peter 4:12-19
19Sothen, those who suffer according
to God's will should commit
themselves to their faithful Creator
and continue to do good.
43. Group Discussion
• What have you realized today about
unresolved conflicts?
• How is this helpful to you now or in the
future?
• As you recall what we have studied in this
course, what has been the most helpful?
Why?