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To understand the roots and causes of conflict


       To understand the potential of conflict
                           for ill or for good

           To learn how to deal with conflicts
               through personal peacemaking

           To learn how to deal with conflicts
             through mediated peacemaking

              To follow God’s principles when
                  conflicts cannot be resolved
God’s Principles

       Matthew 18:15-20
15“If your brother sins against you,
  go and show him his fault, just
   between the two of you. If he
listens to you, you have won your
           brother over.”
God’s Principles

         Matthew 5:21-26
21"You   have heard that it was said
  to the people long ago, 'Do not
murder, and anyone who murders
will be subject to judgment.' 22But I
 tell you that anyone who is angry
with his brother will be subject to
God’s Principles

        Matthew 5:21-26
judgment. Again, anyone who says
      to his brother, 'Raca, ' is
 answerable to the Sanhedrin. But
anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be
    in danger of the fire of hell.
God’s Principles

         Matthew 5:21-26
 23"Therefore,   if you are offering
  your gift at the altar and there
 remember that your brother has
  something against you, 24leave
your gift there in front of the altar.
God’s Principles

        Matthew 5:21-26
First go and be reconciled to your
brother; then come and offer your
               gift.
God’s Principles

        Matthew 5:21-26
25"Settlematters quickly with your
  adversary who is taking you to
court. Do it while you are still with
 him on the way, or he may hand
  you over to the judge, and the
 judge may hand you over to the
God’s Principles

        Matthew 5:21-26
  officer, and you may be thrown
 into prison. 26I tell you the truth,
you will not get out until you have
        paid the last penny.
God’s Principles

          Romans 12:18
   18If
      it is possible, as far as it
depends on you, live at peace with
             everyone.
Key Insights

• In any conflict situation, both parties
  are responsible before God to try to
  resolve it.
• Both parties are accountable before
  God if one or both of them refuse to
  resolve it.
• In some situations, conflicts may not be
  resolved peacefully because…
Key Insights

• One or both may refuse to abide by
  Scriptural principles of peacemaking for
  various reasons.
• In a stalemate the “cooperative” party
  must choose to respond biblically to
  the situation regardless of the other
  party’s unbiblical response.
Stalemate Options

• Overlook the offense
• Forgive the offender before God
• Ask God for justice
• Go your separate ways for the
  time being (truce)
• Accept the unfairness and
  continue doing good.
Overlook the Offense
Overlook the Offense
                Proverbs 10:12
12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers

                over all wrongs.
                 1 Peter 4:8
8Above all, love each other deeply, because

   love covers over a multitude of sins.
             1 Corinthians 13:5
     5(Love) keeps no record of wrongs.
Overlook the Offense
When not to overlook…
• When God or His name is being blasphemed
• When your relationship with the person has
  already been affected or changed
• When other people are being hurt
• When the truth of the Gospel is being
  compromised (i.e. when sin is involved)
• When the offender is in danger of
  experiencing God’s wrath or judgment
Overlook the Offense
               Galatians 6:1-5
  1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin,

 you who are spiritual should restore him
gently. But watch yourself, or you also may
 be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens,
  and in this way you will fulfill the law of
                   Christ.
Overlook the Offense
              Galatians 6:1-5
3If anyone thinks he is something when he

is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one
 should test his own actions. Then he can
 take pride in himself, without comparing
 himself to somebody else, 5for each one
        should carry his own load.
Forgive the Offender

Interpersonal Transaction
       before God
  Personal Transaction
      before God
Interpersonal Transaction

              Luke 17:3-4
  "If your brother sins, rebuke him,
 and if he repents, forgive him. 4If he
sins against you seven times in a day,
 and seven times comes back to you
  and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."
Personal Transaction

             Mark 11:25
25And when you stand praying, if you

       hold anything against
  anyone, forgive him, so that your
  Father in heaven may forgive you
             your sins."[
Forgive the Offender

When you forgive a person before
God…
• You are not yet reconciled with
  that person.
• You are only set free from the
  power of bitterness in your heart.
Ask God for Justice

          1 Samuel 24:15
 15 May the LORD be our judge and

decide between us. May he consider
  my cause and uphold it; may he
vindicate me by delivering me from
             your hand.
Ask God for Justice

        Psalm 43:1
  1Vindicate me, O God,

and plead my cause against an
     ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and
       wicked men.
Ask God for Justice

             Psalm 54:1-2
1 Save me, O God, by your name;

       vindicate me by your might.
      2 Hear my prayer, O God;

   listen to the words of my mouth.
Ask God for Justice


Asking God for justice does
 not mean taking revenge.
It means you’re leaving the
 judgment to God by faith.
Ask God for Justice

          Romans 12:17-21
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil.

Be careful to do what is right in the
eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible,
 as far as it depends on you, live at
        peace with everyone.
Ask God for Justice

           Romans 12:17-21
 19Do not take revenge, my friends,

but leave room for God's wrath, for
it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I
      will repay,” says the Lord.
Ask God for Justice

           Romans 12:17-21
20On the contrary: “If your enemy is

hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give
  him something to drink. In doing
 this, you will heap burning coals on
his head.” 21Do not be overcome by
  evil, but overcome evil with good.
Part ways
             Acts 15:37-41
 37Barnabas wanted to take John, also

called Mark, with them, 38but Paul did
not think it wise to take him, because
  he had deserted them in Pamphylia
  and had not continued with them in
               the work.
Part ways
               Acts 15:37-41
39They had such a sharp disagreement

 that they parted company. Barnabas
took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40but
Paul chose Silas and left, commended
  by the brothers to the grace of the
  Lord. 41He went through Syria and
  Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
Part ways
           2 Timothy 4:11
11Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and

  bring him with you, because he is
    helpful to me in my ministry.
Part ways
When you part ways…
•   Remember to pray for each other
•   Don’t malign each other at your back
•   Don’t add insult to injury
•   Speak well of each other
•   Avoid factionalism or triangulating
•   Don’t rejoice in times of failure
Accept the Unfairness
          1 Peter 4:12-19
12Dearfriends, do not be surprised at
the painful trial you are suffering, as
  though something strange were
         happening to you.
Accept the Unfairness
            1 Peter 4:12-19
13But rejoice that you participate in the
sufferings of Christ, so that you may be
 overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
Accept the Unfairness
           1 Peter 4:12-19
 14Ifyou are insulted because of the
 name of Christ, you are blessed, for
the Spirit of glory and of God rests on
                  you.
Accept the Unfairness
           1 Peter 4:12-19
 15If
    you suffer, it should not be as a
murderer or thief or any other kind of
  criminal, or even as a meddler.
Accept the Unfairness
             1 Peter 4:12-19
16However, if you suffer as a Christian,
 do not be ashamed, but praise God
      that you bear that name.
Accept the Unfairness
           1 Peter 4:12-19
17For it is time for judgment to begin
with the family of God; and if it begins
with us, what will the outcome be for
those who do not obey the gospel of
                  God?
Accept the Unfairness
            1 Peter 4:12-19
18And, "If it is hard for the righteous to
  be saved, what will become of the
      ungodly and the sinner?"
Accept the Unfairness
          1 Peter 4:12-19
19Sothen, those who suffer according
    to God's will should commit
 themselves to their faithful Creator
      and continue to do good.
Most Important Principle


Discussion
 DIALOG
 Decision
Group Discussion
• What have you realized today about
  unresolved conflicts?
• How is this helpful to you now or in the
  future?
• As you recall what we have studied in this
  course, what has been the most helpful?
  Why?

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Understanding Conflicts Biblically

  • 1.
  • 2. To understand the roots and causes of conflict To understand the potential of conflict for ill or for good To learn how to deal with conflicts through personal peacemaking To learn how to deal with conflicts through mediated peacemaking To follow God’s principles when conflicts cannot be resolved
  • 3. God’s Principles Matthew 18:15-20 15“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”
  • 4. God’s Principles Matthew 5:21-26 21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to
  • 5. God’s Principles Matthew 5:21-26 judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca, ' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
  • 6. God’s Principles Matthew 5:21-26 23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar.
  • 7. God’s Principles Matthew 5:21-26 First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
  • 8. God’s Principles Matthew 5:21-26 25"Settlematters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the
  • 9. God’s Principles Matthew 5:21-26 officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.
  • 10. God’s Principles Romans 12:18 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
  • 11. Key Insights • In any conflict situation, both parties are responsible before God to try to resolve it. • Both parties are accountable before God if one or both of them refuse to resolve it. • In some situations, conflicts may not be resolved peacefully because…
  • 12. Key Insights • One or both may refuse to abide by Scriptural principles of peacemaking for various reasons. • In a stalemate the “cooperative” party must choose to respond biblically to the situation regardless of the other party’s unbiblical response.
  • 13. Stalemate Options • Overlook the offense • Forgive the offender before God • Ask God for justice • Go your separate ways for the time being (truce) • Accept the unfairness and continue doing good.
  • 15. Overlook the Offense Proverbs 10:12 12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. 1 Peter 4:8 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Corinthians 13:5 5(Love) keeps no record of wrongs.
  • 16. Overlook the Offense When not to overlook… • When God or His name is being blasphemed • When your relationship with the person has already been affected or changed • When other people are being hurt • When the truth of the Gospel is being compromised (i.e. when sin is involved) • When the offender is in danger of experiencing God’s wrath or judgment
  • 17. Overlook the Offense Galatians 6:1-5 1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
  • 18. Overlook the Offense Galatians 6:1-5 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.
  • 19. Forgive the Offender Interpersonal Transaction before God Personal Transaction before God
  • 20. Interpersonal Transaction Luke 17:3-4 "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."
  • 21. Personal Transaction Mark 11:25 25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."[
  • 22. Forgive the Offender When you forgive a person before God… • You are not yet reconciled with that person. • You are only set free from the power of bitterness in your heart.
  • 23. Ask God for Justice 1 Samuel 24:15 15 May the LORD be our judge and decide between us. May he consider my cause and uphold it; may he vindicate me by delivering me from your hand.
  • 24. Ask God for Justice Psalm 43:1 1Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation; rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.
  • 25. Ask God for Justice Psalm 54:1-2 1 Save me, O God, by your name; vindicate me by your might. 2 Hear my prayer, O God; listen to the words of my mouth.
  • 26. Ask God for Justice Asking God for justice does not mean taking revenge. It means you’re leaving the judgment to God by faith.
  • 27. Ask God for Justice Romans 12:17-21 17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
  • 28. Ask God for Justice Romans 12:17-21 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
  • 29. Ask God for Justice Romans 12:17-21 20On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
  • 30. Part ways Acts 15:37-41 37Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work.
  • 31. Part ways Acts 15:37-41 39They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. 41He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
  • 32. Part ways 2 Timothy 4:11 11Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.
  • 33. Part ways When you part ways… • Remember to pray for each other • Don’t malign each other at your back • Don’t add insult to injury • Speak well of each other • Avoid factionalism or triangulating • Don’t rejoice in times of failure
  • 34. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 12Dearfriends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.
  • 35. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
  • 36. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 14Ifyou are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.
  • 37. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler.
  • 38. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.
  • 39. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God?
  • 40. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 18And, "If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"
  • 41. Accept the Unfairness 1 Peter 4:12-19 19Sothen, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.
  • 43. Group Discussion • What have you realized today about unresolved conflicts? • How is this helpful to you now or in the future? • As you recall what we have studied in this course, what has been the most helpful? Why?