Finding erin

Finding Erin America Leigh.
Finding Erin
A true Identity Novel
By
America Leigh
Copyright © 2014 America Leigh
1

Synopsis.
Have you ever been so lost, that’s there nowhere to turn?
Nowhere to hide?
Nowhere to run.
How about not knowing anything. Waking up to find, you don’t even exist.
That your memories are lost, forgotten or even insignificant that no one knows
who you are?
That’s me.
The girl with no past, the girl with no future. They say to know where
you’re going is to know where you came from. But what if that’s your biggest
obstacle, that one tiny detail, to know who you truly are?
I’m Erin, or so they tell me. That’s the name they gave me when they found
me alone, unconscious with no name, no records and no family to take me in. I’m
Erin Frost, the girl with no past and no future, until something changed and now
I’m hiding from both, but to truly find myself I have to face the darkness of my
past and the light of my future has both have the potential to destroy me. What
would happen if you had no clues, no ties and no connections? That would be me.
Edward Vance had everything, encrusted in a neat and pretty package of
wealth and power combined with being the son of one of the most powerful men in
the world. Eddie on the other hand couldn’t care about what people thought or
even said about him. He’s spent the last ten years searching for his other half.
Turning the once shy and withdrawn young man into the tyrant of the business
world that he is today. Eddie’s world crumbled when his soul mate was snatched
from him leaving him empty in side. Making him hard and determined in return, to
find what was rightfully his. A cold trial finally leads him to Maggie, but she’s not
Margaret Montgomery anymore. She’s Erin Frost now and a whole different kettle
of fish to contend with, as Eddie battles with the past and trying to save their
future. They have to learn to lean on each other once again and discover that the
only person they can trust is each other.
2

Prologue.
Eddie. 2004
“Rinnnnnng, Rinnnnnng, Rinnnnnng”
I listened to that same tone for the last five minutes and panic was starting
to set in. The echo of the rings were puncturing my heart like a sphere, slowly
bleeding out. This was the second day she hadn’t answered my calls or the
countless texts I’d sent her. This wasn’t like Maggie.
My Maggie.
She always answered, unless she was in class or her dad was around. She
would have called me back. But two days, was so unlike her. I checked the phone
again, making sure I was actually calling the right number. I swiped to end the call
and slipped it back into my pocket. Looking around my dorm room, trying to figure
out what the hell I was going to do next. I could call her mother and ask where
Maggie is? But that would be a conversation I really didn’t want to torture myself
with. I could call my mom instead, but every time I mentioned Maggie’s name. I
got the safe sex talk and the ‘be careful, she’s only fifteen’ discussion. I wasn’t
stupid, I’d been in love with Maggie before I could even remember, even before I
really knew what love was? There’s only three years between Maggie and I, but
because I’m eighteen and a lustful, unruly boy. My mother’s words not mine. I’m
automatically going to corrupt my fifteen year old best friend into my best friend.
Who by the way, I would die for. Please! None of them really understand that I
could in fact, be one hundred percent in love with her and not just want in her
pants. It’s not that I don’t want to, I’m only human after all, but she’s so much
more than that. Her honey coloured hair drops in waves around her waist and
those hazel eyes that call me from hundred miles away remind me of luscious
chocolate that make my mouth water.
I started to pace the room, there wasn’t much room in here but it was clean
and mostly tidy. Unless you count Adam’s collection of clothes on the floor or the
porn stuffed under his bed that you can blatantly see. He was secretly hoping his
mother came by and shocked the shit out of her. Every step I took, my anxiety
climbed. Ready to shoot through the roof like a rocket ready to combust. God, this
is not like her to make me worry like this. I ran my sweaty palms down the front of
my trousers. We had made a pact when I left for university. She would call me
every day and text when she could and I’d sneak to see her every couple of weeks.
Which was working out quite brilliantly, I might add. Well that was until I called
about this coming weekend and the silence had began. Pacing the room was not
helping at all, I had to stop myself. I stood in front of the mirror like a pansy
berating myself to just pick up the fucking phone and call her mom and have done
with it already. I really should have these pep talks with myself more often to kick
3

myself up the backside. I smirked at myself in the mirror. Maybe that would work
when I had papers due too.
“Hey man, what’s up” Rafi asked, sweeping through the dorm room, running
his fingers through his dishevelled black hair. He looked like he had been out for a
run, but I knew better than that. Lucky Bastard. He hadn’t made it back last night,
no doubt he was getting friendly with the female population on campus. He shot
me a questioning look, knowing something was seriously up, he noticed me pacing
the room. Rafi stood over me at six foot three, sizing me up. He stood back with
his arms folded, waiting for an answer.
“Maggie hasn’t called in two days”
“So call her mamma, if you’re that worried” he quickly retorted back with a
‘just do it look’ on his face.
“Alright, alright, I was just thinking of that”, I answered through gritted
teeth. A feeling of uneasiness washed over me.
“Sure you were” Rafi added in that sarcastic tone he was prone for, raising
his eyebrows in response.
I blew out a frustrated breath, here we go again. Ringing Marilyn
Montgomery was never a chore I enjoyed. Apart from the mediocre tone of her
voice and the pure contempt she has for me, she could make you feel like you’re
not worthy to even hear her voice. Which is ironic, as her daughter is the complete
opposite of both of her parents combined. Maggie’s kind, sweet and so caring that
everything she does is never for herself, just the opposite in fact. Rafi just stood
there, waiting for me to snap into action, I slipped out my iPhone from my jeans
back pocket and dialled Marilyn.
“Marilyn Montgomery speaking” she answered sharply after only one ring.
She sounded nervous, on edge a little. Which wasn’t unheard of, but
characteristically unusual for her, especially when speaking to me. The uncertainty
in her voice couldn’t be denied. What the hell was going on? Something had
happened, I could feel it deep down in the knot that had quickly formed in my
stomach. I just needed to know where the hell my Maggie is?
“Mrs Montgomery, it’s Edward Vance, I was…. Just wondering where Maggie
was?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm and smooth when dealing with Marilyn.
The break in my voice made it clear I was practically losing it by this point.
“I can’t seem to get hold of her” I added. I could hear a lot of sound in the
background, people being hushed and asking questions around her. The Paddock
was a closed house, only Maggie and her mother lived there full time now. Chris
lived in London to manage the company, only travelling to Kent at the weekends to
see Maggie. This is why our sneaking off to see each other, wasn’t always easy to
do.
4

“Mrs Montgomery” I asked again with a slight shrill in my tone. My patience
had worn thin over the last couple of days and I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore
as the line was still silent.
“What the hell is going on? Where is Maggie” I blurted down the phone as
anger took a hold of me like a glove squeezing me until there was nothing left. I
needed some answers. I started to pace again as Rafi stood near me to offer his
support. I was trying to grasp what Maggie’s mom was playing at. I really didn’t
care about anything else. I just needed to know what was going on and why Maggie
wasn’t answering my calls. We hadn’t had an argument or a tiff, unless her parents
have tried to intervene again. That can’t be though, Maggie wants to be with me
as much I want to be with her. That thought kept circling through my mind. She
would never leave me. She loves me too. So why was I suddenly questioning myself
now. I shook the thoughts away. Until I got some answers I couldn’t assume or
predict Marilyn’s silence as anything, not yet anyways.
A sob came loud down the line and echoed through the entire room. My
heart sank. In all the years I had known Maggie’s mother, she had never once
sobbed or even shown the slightest emotion of being upset. This was throwing me
through a loop because if she was sobbing, it had something to do with Maggie.
My Maggie.
“I don’t know where she is,” she whispered, her voice sounding strained. As
if she was on the verge of breaking down from all the emotions clogging her
throat.
“She’s gone” she added, when another sob ran through the line, I couldn’t
even register what she was saying. I looked over at my bedside table where
Maggie’s picture stood, smiling up at me. Maggie’s eyes held mine for a moment.
How the hell could she be gone?
“What the hell do you mean? By. Gone” I shouted down the line. I was
starting to get pissed and the anger was seeping into my veins. I just wanted a
straight answer. Had she run away? Had she been hurt? Had someone taken her?
Every scenario was running through my mind. My world was collapsing in front of
my eyes. Without Maggie, there was just no point anymore. I felt sick. My breath
was at the back of my throat trying to escape but trapped by my thoughts of
Maggie.
My Maggie.
I tried to rain in my emotions, but that was proving to be difficult. I wanted
to ask so many questions. I finally found my calm voice and asked what I feared
most. Confirmation.
5

“What do you mean by gone, Marilyn?” I asked as quietly and calmly as I
could, trying to hide my contempt for her. Her sobbing finally subsided into
quieter sobs as she took a few breaths and answered as calmly as she could.
“She’s just gone, her stuff, some money, but there was blood in the drive
way Edward……. they think she’s been kidnapped” choking on those final words
that made her start to sob again.
I had no words. I just stared into space. I didn’t know how to answer. Or
how to feel. Maggie was everything to me. The way she smiled. The way she
laughed and her little quirky ways of soothing me. I couldn’t lose her. I wouldn’t
lose her. Not now. Not ever. I was stood by her picture now, running my fingers
over the glass that held her face. I looked into her eyes dancing in the picture and
promised her then and there, that I’d find her. I’d always find her. My emotions
were all over the place, but Maggie is what drove me forward. I had known that
since we met. She was light to a moth, I couldn’t stay away. She guided me, led
me through the dark and made me want her, love her, need her. I wouldn’t stop
until I had her back where she belonged. With me.
“I’m on my way” I barked into the phone and flicked it off. Slamming my
fist into the closest wall. Smashing my knuckles again and again until the pain
registered. Anger, frustration coated my entire body like a new skin, one that I
would need to face her parents and actually find out what the hell was going on.
Rafi was waiting patiently for an explanation with a concerned look, that held
sympathy, but more than anything else, concern for Maggie.
“Let’s go, if I drive I can get us there in fifty minutes” he offered quickly,
skirting through our room for his keys and wallet while he slipped on his trainers
and jacket. I was glad he was here, when I made the call to Maggie’s mother and
for the support he had just offered. Rafi was the only friend I trusted with knowing
about me and Maggie. Other people just didn’t understand what our relationship
meant. It was complicated for sure, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. That’s
what my gramps always told me anyways. Rafi had decided to apply to Cambridge,
the same as me. I didn’t get the choice but at least we could dorm together. He
had gone against his mother’s wishes of him attending an American university. At
least Cambridge fitted the criteria that Rafi’s mother had expected. Heritage.
Prestige. Rafi didn’t fit in a gilded cage like the one is mom wanted him to fit into.
I was thankful at this moment that he had gone against her. He had always had my
back, but when it came to Maggie, he loved her just as much as me. We had grown
up together. He understood why I would want to belong to her and her alone. We
had this dynamic when growing up. Rafi was from the same town, even though
mine and Maggie’s parent’s lived in ostentatious homes with numerous staff. Rafi
came from good stock, money and prestige but as our families were all for show,
his family were inseparable both at home and at business. Making Rafi feeling
pressured and isolated. Rafi followed me through University and into business
6

because he knew I wouldn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to. Just like
my parents, Rafi’s didn’t seem interested in what he wanted either.
Erin - 2004
My head hurt, pounding like a jack hammer was busy at work in there. I felt
strange, dizzy in fact. A mist of fog settled over me like I was half between sleep
and being awake. The light was beckoning me forward. I smelt an unfamiliar scent
of sterile cream and a disinfectant smell strong like bleach. It infiltrated my
nostrils and tugged them with force. It was unpleasant. I wanted to stay wrapped
up in the warmth and peace that had me blanketed. I tried licking my lips, but my
mouth was dry, too dry like I hadn’t drank water in a few weeks or months even. I
kept my eyes tightly shut, but I was aware of the sounds around me and the
constant beep of a machine that was in perfect rhythm. The soothing sound was
familiar and a sense of calm and peace washed over me. My body ached and I was
sore all over as if I’d been in a fight or something. I opened my eyes slowly as the
light from the window was blinding. My eyes took a few seconds to come into focus
as I glanced around the cream room and noticed the machine that was emitting
the beeping noise I recognised. The wires were attached to my chest, a heart
monitor I thought, reaching up and placing my hand over the monitor wires making
the noise muffled. My thoughts were unclear though, out of focus.
Where was I?
It looked like a private room with cream blinds hanging along the large
window to the right of my room. There was a table at the bottom of the bed with
a jug of water on and a chart. My chart, I thought.
“Look who’s awake” A slim women stated as she entered the room,
surprising me. She wore a green smock with a name tag on positioned to the left,
saying Molly in bold letters. She wore her blonde hair scraped back into a bun with
a hint of brown underneath. She reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t quite put
my finger on it.
“Where am I?” I asked. My voice cracking at the end making my throat ache.
I reached up and stroked my throat gently. It felt like I had swallowed shards of
glass that cut every inch instinctively.
“Here hunny” Molly offered me a glass of water that I quickly took. I gulped
at the cold refreshment that soothed my throat but didn’t quench the thirst I
seemed to have
“More” I asked trying to catch my breath. I coughed hard as the water had
trouble slipping down my throat.
7

“Easy there, sweetie. Take it easy, you’ve been out for a couple of weeks.
Your body won’t be able to take too much liquid, not just yet” Molly informed me
softly, patting my shoulder.
I’ve been out two weeks?
What did she mean by out?
I didn’t understand?
I searched the room for something familiar, but couldn’t place anything.
The room was very plain. I checked myself over. I didn’t seem to have any injuries.
My dark blonde hair was tied at the back and hung around the side. Everything
seemed to be in working order. I noticed a large round ring with a large brownish,
orangish stone on my third finger of my left hand. I stared at the pretty colours
that reflected the light around the room. It was beautiful, but where had it come
from? I couldn’t remember anything. Remembering what the nurse said, I turned
towards and asked.
“I don’t understand, what do you mean out?”
“You’ve been in a coma for two weeks. Your body was repairing itself.
Sometimes the mind shuts itself down so it can repair the damage and recover
before it allows you to become conscious again. This is a lot to take in, just rest
for now and I’ll go find the doctor for you” Her voice held concern, setting my
body on edge. What the hell happened to me if I had to recover for two weeks?
The doctor better have some good answers because I sure as hell didn’t.
“Don’t look so worried, everything’s fine sweetie” Molly added trying to
reassure me. The concern was still etched on her elegant face. I could tell that she
wasn’t telling me everything.
I was a blank slate, whatever happened I couldn’t remember what it was or
how it happened either. I looked over my body again. I looked ok under the thick
blankets swaddled around me. Nothing felt broken at least, but my entire body
ached and longed for rest. My eyes felt heavy and I relented to close them, as I
drifted back to sleep again.
8

Chapter One.
Eddie - Ten years later.
The room was still dark when I suddenly woke sweating and panting. This
had been the first nightmare I’d had in over a month. The sheets were soaked and
my body felt heavy with a thick blanket of sweat. I dreamt of Maggie's sweet face
most nights, tugging me into her sweet body and telling me everything would be
fine. This one had been so real and more intense than the last one. Chains and
gags surrounding her tear stained face. Her dark blonde hair falling limp around
her shoulders, with her shoulders slumped forward. Someone was standing behind
her. I couldn't see their face, I never could. Only the smug smile that made me
want to wrap my hands around their neck to squeeze every ounce of life out of
their body. I reached for her. Holding out my hand every time, wanting to grasp
onto something, anything. To make sure she was alive, but there was no reprieve
from this. I woke up every time with damp sheets wrapped around my legs,
grasping at some kind of outer reality, where my Maggie was back. In my arms and
safe.
My mornings were pretty much the same. A long cold shower to douse the
ache that was the constant reminder of Maggie. The walk through my apartment to
grab coffee and my keys. Making a mental note to ask Lucy to come round and tidy
round this week. The late nights and early mornings meant that I was hardly ever
here, but the takeout food and the bottles could get out of hand on occasion. I
tended to get someone in to take care of my mess. Lucy was a quiet girl with dark
blonde hair that reminded me of Maggie. She was the daughter of a friend of
mothers. That was all I saw when Lucy came around, was Maggie. I think I'll remind
her to come while I'm at work again, I thought. The truth was it hurt to even look
at someone who reminded me of Maggie. It was better this way. No
misunderstandings and no visions of Maggie in my home, where she should have
been all along. I needed to get my head together. After everything had gone down
at Maggie’s house after her disappearance, I was left broken and bitter. The fear
and anger drove me for the first few years, but now I’ve become so good at the
façade, no one questioned it anymore.
The drive to the office was done on autopilot, as much as everything else
these days. After Maggie had gone, I couldn’t even acknowledge the fact that she
may be gone permanently. I had to believe she was out there somewhere. I poured
all my efforts to finish up school and go in search of her. It’s funny how the plans
you have can suddenly change. I finished up school and it wasn’t long after that,
me and Rafi built Vance Media from the grown up. My father was after moulding
me into this corporate tycoon version of himself and Rafi’s family was no better.
Their money and connections had us fighting to gain control of our own futures for
a chance at a future we wanted. Vance Media was one the fastest growing Media
9

companies in Europe and was becoming globally recognised with our advanced
prototypes that were changing the face of Media alongside the likes of Virgin
Media and Sky.
After ten years I had realised that, Maggie may never be coming back to me.
That big part of my soul may never be restored and wasn’t that just the shitiest
thing imaginable. I was destined for a life of solitude. The lift had brought me out
of my thoughts, noticing that Rafi was already at his desk, hard at it. I crossed the
entry way of our combined floor.
“Morning sunshine, was it a late night or an early start?” I asked teasingly.
He scowled at me and threw me the finger. I take it was an all-nighter. Asshole.
Laughing.
The new American acquisitions were messing with Rafi’s ability to actually
leave at a reasonable hour or even leave the office at all.
Noticing he had finished up on the call, Rafi’s lousy mood was suddenly making my
nightmare filled dreams, drift away in my amusement at him.
“Was that the delightful Adrianna or the scrumptious Annabella I heard?” I
asked, openly mocking him now as I leant against his desk. His anger was rolling off
him in waves. I shouldn’t really be riling him up after the late night or early
morning he was practically pulling, but Rafi had always been too easy to torment.
University wasn’t much fun for either of us after Maggie went missing. I was in
constant darkness. The nightmares came shortly after that, reminding me that I
would never see or hold her again. That fact alone was tearing me apart slowly,
stitch by stitch. My life was unravelling, but Rafi had stood by me and slowly
pieced me back together.
“Asshole” Rafi muttered under his breath as he got up and knocked my
shoulder, nearly sending me fucking flying off his desk.
“Jesus man, what the hell?”
Rafi stood by the full glass windows. He was staring off into heart of
London. I looked out at the crisp morning sunrise, that’s when I noticed it. The
trembling of his left hand and the strain in his body.
“Ah, Hell no!” My heart sank. I rushed over to the window, putting my hand
on Rafi’s left shoulder to steady the trembles.
“Have you took your pain meds?”
“Fuck No, that shit sends me loopy and you fucking know it Eddie” Rafi’s
accent nearly evaporated at his anger at me. His whole body sagged against the
window now and I was the only thing keeping him standing.
“What did Marley say about the tremors restarting?” I questioned him.
10

Rafi remained silent. The tremors resided and his balance returned, but I
was worried. How long as this being on for? Rafi suffered with a hereditary
neurological disease that didn’t process his functions correctly. The pain
medication had stabilised it for years, but there was no cure for it.
“I’ll take the fucking silence as you haven’t spoken to Marley” I barked at
him with his back still facing me. I walked over to Rafi’s desk and picked up the
phone.
“Get me Marley on the phone Now, Elaine” I said before hanging up on my
assistant. It had only taken a minute when the phone was ringing again.
“Marley, its Vance. Yes, I need to bring Rafi in for an immediate consult.
Today” I listened for another minute while the doctor briefly questioned me on his
symptoms and when he could fit us in. I shot Rafi a stern look. His face was ashen
and his grey eyes were flashing anger at my interference. I sat back in my office
chair whilst finishing up the call. His whispered words shocked the hell out of me,
“Prego non.” I put the receiver back down and gave him a pleading look. Rafi’s
head bowed. “Prego” I pleaded with him in Italian. Rafi sighed and nodded.
“Two o’clock and Rafi” raising my eyes up towards the door, noticing that
Rafi was existing.
“Yes?” He turned to face me before he reached the door.
“Take the fucking week off. Marcus can finish off the American contracts”
He was going to argue, but I was worried about his health. Obviously he hasn’t
been taking proper care of himself. He looked like he had lost weight. To think of
it. We both have been running ourselves into the ground. With the new contracts
that we had acquired recently with the new software we were introducing into the
mainframe as of next week, we would be stretched. I shot him a challenging look
and he left his office. I sat at Rafi’s desk in utter silence, feeling that things were
spiralling out of control. The nightmare this morning and now Rafi was having
tremors again. Could my day get any fucking worse?
* * *
“Sabine is in your office, Mr Vance” I winced. My day could get worse.
I pushed my office door open. Sabine’s long auburn hair sat precisely in waves
down her back. Her black silk suit was fitted around her petite frame. Sabine sat in
my leather up-holstered chair and turned on her charm.
“Edward. I wondered where you had gotten too.” Sabine purred seductively.
“What are you doing here Sabine.” I demanded with a tone Sabine should
have been accustomed too. She was has false as her hair and nails. She gave me a
wink.
11

“To fuck.”
“What makes you think I would want you.” I stated. Sabine sucked in her
bottom lip and released it with a pop.
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“You know that answer. It is the same one I gave your father.”
“Baby, don’t be difficult. You know what Daddy wants. He wants to make
me happy.”
“Leave.” I threatened through my clenched jaw.
“I can give what you need.” Sabine boasted, running her manicured
fingernails down my chest and resting just above my pants.
“I would rather not take sloppy seconds.”
“Ouch, baby. That hurt.” Sabine mocked.
Before I knew what she was doing. Sabine was on her knees, unzipping my
pants.
Her mouth was warm and welcoming. Sabine’s moans around my cock had
me envisioning a set of caramel eyes and waves of dirty blonde hair. Maggie took
over my every thought. I pistoled my hips into Sabine’s mouth, unrelenting. My
cock thickened making my spine tingle when my balls tighten. I emptied my load
into Sabine’s mouth, making her swallow every last drop. I stepped back. I tucked
myself back inside my pants and fixed my clothes. Sabine knelt there waiting for
something.
“Leave.” I told her firmly. Sabine got up and stood expectantly in front of
me.
“How about you return the favour Eddie.”
“You got what you wanted Sabine, to feel empowered and wanted. You
should have negotiated the terms if you wanted more. Lucky for me, you’re as
naïve as you are conceited.
“You are crueller than they give you credit for you know.”
“I know.”
“They call you the tyrant.” Sabine gloated.
“They don’t know the half of it.” I told her sarcastically.
Sabine huffed out of my office, slamming my door in response to my
dismissal.
* * *
12

“How about a week in the Caribbean?” I asked, standing at Rafi’s office door
studying his pale face. The top floor of Vance Media had been divided into areas
that we each could concentrate on our particular tastes in design or technology,
before the other departments came and made the idea marketable. His office was
to the left of the lift and mine directly opposite on the right.
His eyes found mine. He was exhausted. Why hadn’t I noticed this before? I needed
to get him out of this office and make him relax or I was going to lose my best
friend and that was not an option, loosing Maggie nearly broke me and Rafi. I
couldn’t lose him as well.
“You serious?” he asked with a shocked expression on his face. His eyes had
brightened up at the mere mention of a vacation. He lounged back into his chair
and began weighing my offer up. He shuffled uncomfortably waiting for me to
answer.
“Yep, sun, sand and sex” I said wiggling my eyebrows at him. Making Rafi burst
into laughter at my lame attempt at humour. He ran his hand through his almost
black hair and shrugged his shoulders at me. Weighing my proposal up.
“We can’t this week, we have that conference for the Mackenzie account on
Friday”
“We can. What’s the fucking point of us owning the company, if we can’t
play hooky once in a while?” I shrugged my shoulders in return. Elaine took that
precise moment to enter the office, saving me from Rafi’s further excuses.
I had her taking down everything that needed to be done while we were
away, not giving Rafi the choice or room to argue. By the end of play that day, we
were booked on the seven forty five to the Bahamas from Gatwick.
* * *
“How you feeling?” I asked nudging Rafi feet has I passed his sun lounger.
The water had cooled me off briefly. It was over an hundred degrees today and the
pure white sand of the hotel was soothing beneath my feet.
“Good, better than good man. I think I need to move here permanently”
Rafi chuckled with his eyes closed.
“Don’t be getting any ideas, our agenda is packed solid for the next year.
No immigrating to foreign countries, Raf. Come on, I saw two red heads going into
the Jacuzzi” I commented, getting to my feet to follow them.
Rafi gave me a knowing look.
I hated that look. He knew me better than anyone. I couldn’t escape the
facts of the last ten years. The façade was easy to maintain, even in a different
country. This had become the norm for me now and Rafi knew that that wasn’t
13

going to change. Both of us picking up woman to find a release, just for the night.
Quick. Easy. Painless. Anything more than that, had already been taken from me
ten years previously. My Laptop pinged at the arrival of incoming mail. The subject
header read Urgent, all I could read was NEW LEAD. My heart was slamming into
my chest.
Oh dear God. Maggie.
The idea of everything else ceased.
* * *
“Rhodes, have you found her?” I asked after he answered my call on the
first ring.
“I’m not sure Eddie, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t look like her” That
made my pulse race. What if it wasn’t her? It has been ten years. This is all I had
thought about since that day. Had anyone been found after being missing for ten
years? The possibility seemed unlikely, but that didn’t stop my mind wandering to
the possibility of seeing Maggie again.
“I’ll be back in the morning, I want a full brief in my office first thing” I
demand, ending the call. I searched Rafi’s face who stood astutely in front of me.
His face had darkened and his body was tense.
“You ok man” I asked, assuming he had heard my entire conversation with
Rhodes. Rafi just shrugged his shoulders. This wasn’t a good sign. Rafi had never
dealt with emotions very well. The older he got, the stricter he got with himself.
Everything had to be in order. Now this and the tremors from last week, made me
wonder if Rafi was strong enough to deal with the fact that we might have found
Maggie. Then there’s the disappointment if we never did.
Chapter Two.
Erin - Ten Years Later.
The keys on my laptop had been sweeping at a steady pace. My latest blog
was taking a little more work than normal this week. I had been inundated with
emails, tweets and phone calls about the impending purchase of the blog. The
repetitive messages of excitement over the sale and the future of the blog had
kept me extremely busy all week. I had been staring at the same screen for the
last twenty minutes typing and then deleting it, leaving just the intro for the blog.
It had been the same intro for the last eight years, when I had first started. The
words were so familiar now that I could recite them by memory. It wasn’t just the
words that made me stare at the screen. It was the reminder that after ten years I
was still no nearer to finding who I truly am.
14

Have you ever been so lost, that’s there nowhere to turn? Nowhere to
hide. Nowhere to run. How about not knowing anything. Waking up to find,
you don’t even exist. That your memories are lost, forgotten or even
insignificant that no one knows who you are. That’s me. The girl with no past,
the girl with no future. They say to know where you’re going is to know where
you came from. But what if that’s your biggest obstacle, that one tiny detail,
to know who you truly are?
Time had passed quickly, but I could still smell the hospital room and the
fear of not knowing who I was. I leaned back into my chair and looked around my
office. The cool browns and creams ran throughout the house, but this had been
my favourite room when me and the girls had moved in. The soft furnishings I had
bought sat purposely around the room, a cream vintage lamp and the antique
cream desk that housed my laptop and the endless supply of work piling up. My
view caught sight of the photos on top the sideboard. The smiles on Faith, Peace
and Justice’s face were warm. That picture had only been taken last month at the
lake. We had spent two days swimming, taking the boat out and lazing in the sun.
The stress of work slowly crept back and reminded me that I had a blog to finish
and a meal to prepare. It was my turn to cook tonight, as the others had either
late class or a late shift. What was I feeling today? I thought. Well…I wanted to be
back at that lake seeping back into my subconscious, instead of writing about how
I was feeling. My alarm brought me out of my melancholy state. This time of year
always sent me into a tailspin, as soon as June was done, July was here. The
reminder of when I woke up alone, all those years ago have been swimming around
my thoughts for days now.
I got up and headed for the bathroom, it was time for my injection. Opening
the cabinet remembering I had to take it at the exact same time each day to keep
my epilepsy under control. I haven’t had an attack since I was admitted to
Sheffield Memorial on the Kennedy Ward. The sharp scratch to my right side was
another prick to my frail consciousness.
“Erin” I heard Faith call from downstairs. I shoved the empty needle into
the trash safely and hurried down the stairs.
“Hey, I thought you was on…” My words dying in my throat, when I saw
Faith’s ashen face.
“What’s wrong” I asked, rushing over to her. She was shaking her head at
me now. If it wasn’t the fact that Faith was shaking, it would have been the black
in her eyes that had darkened from her naturally brown eyes. Faith pulled me into
her arms. Stroking the back of my hair. I found comfort in her touch, even though I
wasn’t entirely sure what had Faith in such a state. I leaned back and looked at
her again. This time, she had managed to school her features. I wasn’t sure if this
had been for my benefit or her own. Faith and I had been friends throughout
school, to be honest, all four of us had been friends since I was fifteen. Faith was
15

the quietest one in our little group. Her long blonde hair was slick and straight and
she was tiny in that quirky kind of way. She looked up and gave me a hesitant
smile.
“Someone has been checking into our personal files. I got a call from Cassie
at the social services office. She told me that someone had asked about our
connection to each other and where we lived and how we all met. Cassie had
thought it was strange and gave me a heads up” Faith finished rambling. She let a
long and frustrated sigh out, she pulled at her hair, it was messy now. I hadn’t
seen Faith this worked up since her exams a few years ago to qualify as a nurse. I
rubbed her shoulder in small circles, calming her down. Faith looked exhausted.
“How long have you known about this?” I gave Faith a questioning look.
“A few days” she added, looking sheepish, “Peace and Justice also
mentioned a man asking locals about our connection….to you” Faith looked down
at the floor, trying to hide the concern she had over this new information. “I
didn’t think anything of it until they mentioned that this morning”
“It’s probably nothing” I shrugged my shoulder at her, getting up to make a
start on dinner. Faith just stood there, expecting something more from me maybe I
should have been worried, but I wasn’t the type of girl to panic over the littlest
things, anymore. Especially since I’ve learnt that worrying never accomplished
anything. I turned round and looked at Faith, giving her a soothing look.
“It’ll be fine, trust me” I told her, giving her wink that had her giggling at
me. These girls were my life. When I had walked into social services with my
escort form the hospital. I noticed the three girls, around my age sat close but
weary of each other. My escort had left me standing near the door way to fill in my
paperwork. I had spent three weeks in that hospital bed alone. Faith sat there with
her fine blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun at the back of her neck. Her dark
blue jeans and black vest top hung to her every curve. To her left sat Peace. Her
pure black hair curled down her back in long swirls that reminded me of liquorice
wheels. She had jeans on that were a size too big and an oversized sweater on.
Peace was breathtakingly beautiful in a very natural sort of way. On the right side
of Faith sat Justice, her bright red hair and red lips were striking but her clothes
were as load and surreal as her hair. I looked over at her with interest, I had never
met anyone has comfortable in her own skin as Justice was. It was in that office
that I had met my best friends and I thanked whoever it was looking down on me
that gave me them.
“How about a drink?” I motioned towards the kitchen.
“We got red or white?” she sarcastically replied.
“Both” I giggled, letting the prospect of people watching me drift away. I
would deal with it eventually if the occasion rose, but I turned to look at Faith and
16

wiggled both my eyebrows at her, while holding a bottle of red and white in each
hand. It was Faith’s turn to giggle now, giving both of us a little sense of relief. For
now.
Justice and Peace arrived not much later than Faith had and they helped us
finish off the wine I had opened. I could sense their unease, but they never
mentioned it.
We sat there joking about one of Faith’s patients trying to flirt with her
whilst she was stitching him up. Faith had blushed scarlet at the mere mention of
her going out on a date with him. She shrieked in laughter at us. We all busted out
laughing at her disapproval of an innocent date. The night drew on and the
potential danger grew fainter as our laughter engulfed the whole house. We all
would be suffering in the morning with the amount of empty bottles on the coffee
table.
As it happens, the light through my bedroom window felt like knives piercing my
eyeballs with flames. Last night it had been a very good idea to open the wine and
forget that someone was snooping in all of our personal information. I cracked an
eye open staring at the ceiling and was ready to harm myself for drinking the
house dry. Faith, Justice and Peace looked even worse than me as I entered the
kitchen making me feel slightly better. The late shifts they were on were a
blessing in disguise, as they each had surfaced with either black rings around their
eyes or a pounding head. I had both.
“So what are we going to do?” Peace asked the table, frowning. We had all
danced around the issue last night, but the cool harsh light of day brought our
situation back into full focus.
“Nothing”
“Nothing” Justice challenged me.
“Yes nothing, we don’t even know if there is anything for us to worry about
yet”
They all mumbled in agreement. My lack of concern made them give me a
cautious look. We all finished off our drinks and tided around the living room, we
all slinked off in our own directions. My weekly blog was still overdue and the
buyers were coming to audit the files, equipment and contacts at the end of the
week.
It wasn’t until I checked my emails a couple of hours later, I started to panic.
INTRODUCTORY MEETING WITH THE BUYER TOMORROW AT 2PM. My agent casually
sent over. Fuck a duck. What the hell. They were supposed to be coming on
Friday. Sally couldn’t see the problem with having an extra meeting to introduce
17

her to the buyers personally. I had never heard of the company, let alone who
Edward Vance was. I had always dealt with Alex since the very beginning.
“Have you ever heard of an Edward Vance?” I asked the girls as I re-entered
the kitchen. Their shocked faces spoke volumes.
“Errrrr, yeah Erin. Have you been living under a rock” Justice teased.
“Why, what am I missing?” I gave each of them a puzzled look. I didn’t have
a clue who he was, I’d never heard of the man. It was Faith’s turn now to smile at
me, somewhat mockingly.
“Have you heard of Vance Media” Faith questioned, giving me a knowing
look. Shit. A. Brick.
“Exactly” Faith added, now in full gloating mode at my epic fail.
“So… like…Edward Vance of Vance Media” I asked again, knowing full well
that I was right.
“Ere yeah, Erin” Justice said in her sing song voice. They were taking full
advantage of me asking that question.
“Why?” Peace asked, suddenly sobering up to the question I had initially
asked.
“’I’m meeting with him tomorrow at two, apparently” I said with a grumble,
looking down at the coffee mug faith had just handed me. When the contract was
discussed for the blog, there was never a mention of an introduction to the owner
of the company as I still remained in control of the blog but came with a range of
resources and contacts at my disposal.
“Holy Shit!” they all said simultaneously. I jerked my head back up, to see
their shocked expressions.
“What?” I exclaimed.
“Isn’t he in the Caribbean?” Faith asked Justice.
“Yeah, that’s what the gossip mags have been saying. Vance and his Vice
President went together” Justice replied, with an implied tone.
“Together. Together” I asked, naively.
“Yep, apparently they grew up together and they’ve been inseparable since.
School. University. Business. Home.”
“Well that’s something” I thought out load. Hoping the others wouldn’t
question my comment. If I was honest, he sounded like the sort of man who had it
all and I felt kind of jealous, that I still had no clue who I had been before.
18

“What do you mean?” Peace enquired. No such fucking luck, I thought
silently this time.
“Just that…he’s gay….They’re gay….so it won’t be awkward” Peace’s
scrutinizing gaze softened and she smiled softly at me.
“It’s ok Erin” Peace confirmed even softer this time and swiftly changed the
subject to how much wine we had all consumed the night before and who’s turn
was it to restock the fridge.
Chapter Three.
Eddie.
I was sat pensive in front of my head of security. Rafi was pacing the full
length of the board room, ever since we arrived back from the Caribbean an hour
ago. Rhodes was silent and brooding with his large frame positioned in front of me
with his arms crossed. This man had found Maggie and he was still on high alert.
Soon after me and Rafi took the company global, we had searched for the best
security team we could find. With mine and Rafi’s family pasts, we couldn’t be too
careful. Especially where my father was concerned. My family name provided me
with enough advantage to get the contacts I needed to climb my way up the
entertainment market. It had been one of my Grandfather’s old rookie’s that had
recommended Rhodes. He had served in the military before I was born. Rhodes had
been a Master Sergeant under Garratt’s command at the time, just about to be
retire from American service. He was an Ex-Marine. A damn good one. He had
remained a constant in the last five years. His short military cut made his dark
brown hair look nearly black and his build would put wrestlers and muscle men to
shame. It was his fierce nature to protect that gave me hope that one day I would
find Maggie with the help from Rhode’s tracking skills.
“So….” Growing impatient. I knew he had found her and she was safe, but
the tension in Rhodes frame suggested there was more to come, and I definitely
wasn’t going to like it.
“So” He repeated after me, his voice thick. Showing hesitation at what he
had found.
“She doesn’t remember a thing” Rhodes quickly said, as if pulling a plaster
off. His tone thick with his accent. I looked at Rhodes expression. It was
apprehensive and troubled. The man never worried about anything. He had never
been faced with a mission he couldn’t accomplish or bend to his will.
“There’s one other thing. You have just bought her company from her”
“Wait. What?” I was taken back by that last part.
19

“We bought her company?” I was repeating everything Rhodes was saying
like a parrot. When Rhodes had called me in the Caribbean I expected something
more elaborate of a scheme for Maggie to have been away from me for over a
decade. I never thought it would be possible for her to be only a couple hundred
miles away and selling her business to me.
“Yes Sir”
“And?”
“And I have arranged for an introductory meeting between the two of you
under the pretence of you buying her company.”
I nodded, satisfied with his initiative.
“Exactly what is her company?” I asked, wondering why I hadn’t heard of
this purchase before now, unless Rafi had been overseeing this one.
“She owns and runs ‘Finding Erin, its a Blog’ sir” Rhodes admitted looking
uncomfortable at the last bit of information he had just supplied me with.
Wait. What was that about ‘Finding Erin’?
“Finding Erin?” I questioned making Rhodes cringe outwardly at my request.
“Yes Sir. Her identity as changed since her disappearance. Her name is Erin
Frost.”
I had heard that name before. The blog had gained a quick following, for
the girl with no past and no future.
Oh Fuck! That can’t be Maggie. My Maggie.
Can it?
“Are you sure it’s her, Rhodes”
“Yes Sir” giving a curt nod. “I did background checks and ran full clearance
on her and her three roommates as well. There is something strange about their
records though, Sir” Rhodes questioned out load, as I listened intently at his
theory.
“Strange?” repeating his observation.
“Yes Sir, the reports suggested interference, but the documentation was not
a forgery or altered in any way. This type of structuring would have had to come
from the highest ranking possible or an outside contract with some serious
contacts.”
“There was also the fact that these four girls with no identity, no paperwork
or records and no traceable documentation were held in the same social service
section at the exact same time. They went through both school and college
20

together and now they all live together.” Rhodes thoroughly admitted his
suspicions.
“The meeting will clarify any remaining doubts of her identity, Sir. But as
far as I can assess, Erin has no memory or recollection of her life before waking up
in a Yorkshire Hospital after being unconscious for two weeks.”
“I need to know what the hell happened to her Rhodes” My heart slamming
into my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Rafi’s concern was rippling through the
boardroom along with air conditioning and even Rhodes who was still sat across
from me looked uneasy. His grey marl eyes held a fierce protection that I hadn’t
seen before. I gained control over my thoughts and tried to concentrate on the
upcoming meeting with Maggie. No. Erin. I thought. I can’t call her Maggie. She
wasn’t my Maggie anymore. She was someone else. I was going to find out why or
who had taken her way from me and then I was going to make them pay.
“We need to keep this confidential” I told Rhodes and Rafi nodded in
agreement from behind me, still pacing the floors in a stringent pattern.
The rest of the day held nothing significant to register my interest, nothing
but the waves of caramel and the hazel of her eyes, of Finding Erin.
* * *
The hotel restaurant was quiet with only a few tables taken. The smell of
strong coffee and chocolate cake laced the lounge in pure indulgence for an
afternoon. I saw her blonde hair before I realised I was searching for Maggie. The
intrinsic waves of dirty blonde hair fell down her back, it was fuller and thicker
than before. Glimpses of sun streaked hair peaked at the side’s making me crave a
better look at an older Maggie. My feet instinctively took strides towards the one
thing I thought I would never see again. I stood directly behind her now, taking in
all of Maggie. Her hair was lighter now I had closer look, her shoulders held back,
strong and fierce. She looked like my Maggie, but I knew that was impossible.
According to Rhodes Intel Maggie was different, alive but completely different.
The small sigh came from her lips, barely audible to the other guests, but had my
body hard at the response. Maggie rubbed the length of her skirt, the sweet scent
of ivory soap and lilies wafted around me. The familiar scent sent shivers down my
spine and made my nose flare at the delicious fragrance. God, she still smelled like
my Maggie. I wonder if she acted like my Maggie too. I looked around the large
room once more, taking in all the patrons and nodding to Rhodes in the far corner
of the dining room. He nodded back, taking a seat at the table near the kitchen
and the entrance.
“Miss Frost” I asked from behind her, clearing my throat at the same time to
gain her full attention. Maggie spun around and gasped at me. Her reaction had
heat entering her cheeks. I had made her flustered, this was good. I couldn’t help
the little smirk that touched my lips, some things didn’t change and Maggie’s
21

initial reaction to me hadn’t either. She quickly recovered and jumped up out of
her chair to introduce herself properly. Her dark jeans clung to her tight ass as she
turned and her white tank top made her breast’s perk out of the top. Her golden
tanned skin ran along for miles reminding me of miles of silk. Pure, perfect and
unblemished.
“Mr Vance, I presume” Maggie asked, giving me a thorough inspection whilst
giving me her hand. Her feather like fingers grasped my hand and I swear to god it
was like coming home. The heat from her touch made me feel hot and bewildered,
even after ten years a simple touch or smile from her, sent my heart rate
rocketing through space and set every nerve inside my body a fire. Time just stood
still, I continued to stare at Maggie and her body was tense and alert. I would bet
my company that she was thinking the exact same thing as I was. Her eyes were
wide with emotion and maybe a little bit of shock entered them but her hand
remained inside my grasp and I revelled in the touch and contact I had been
craving, for what has seemed like a lifetime. Maggie finally cleared her throat,
trying to control her reaction to me. The intrusion made me remove my hand from
her warm touch and suddenly my whole body felt the loss.
She stood there waiting for my confirmation. I lingered there a minute
longer, taking in all of Maggie. Her body had changed little apart from the
impressive chest she had grown into. The curves of her slender frame were similar
to the younger Maggie, but it was the confidence of the woman that stood before
me was what had me speechless. She raised her eyebrow and cocked her head side
to side trying to figure my reaction out. I had to act professional or I was going to
scare her off before I even had a chance to explain what we shared in our pasts.
“Edward Vance” I pronounced, suddenly offering my hand again, but
Maggie’s hesitation confirmed that she wasn’t quite ready for another reaction
from either of us.
“Nice to me you Mr Vance, I’m Erin Frost” she replied, taking her seat
across from me.
“Can I enquire why I am suddenly meeting with you and not continuing my
business with Alex? Is there a problem with the arrangement?” Maggie cut to the
chase. The doubt in her tone suddenly entered Erin’s body and her shoulders
slumped slightly while trying to remain professional in front of me. The thought of
her ever doubting herself over me made my chest tighten.
“I like to finalise all sales within my company” I lied.
That seemed to appease her for now and her mood shifted back slightly.
Enough to stay. The waiter approached the table offering to take our order for
drinks, Maggie ordered a coke so I did the same. I was more a whisky drinker these
days, but I didn’t want to give Maggie the idea that I drank every day. It wouldn’t
be far from the truth, my business reputation I sustained was powered by influence
22

and the knowledge of me being a tyrant came more easily with a couple of Jack
Daniels down my throat. The waiter smiled down at Maggie, his eyes lingered on
her white tank top and leered at her pretty golden eyes. Anger burst through my
veins as if a dam had broken and became unleashed like a wild beast raging on
nature. His eyes clashed with mine and his face fell. The colour draining from his
face in panic. He obviously knew who I was. Good. The bastard can sniff
somewhere else. Maggie was mine. My body was on fire as the need to control and
domineer Maggie into submission was riding me hard. I had never felt jealous or
possessive over anyone before, but Maggie had always been the one to possess me
and time hadn’t changed that either. The waiter scurried off quickly. Maggie
looked at me quizzically, but didn’t air her curiosity.
“Well ok then. What can I do for you then Mr Vance?”
“Please call me Eddie” I asked making Maggie’s eyes flash amber.
“Ok” Her voice suddenly turning gruff and shaky.
“Are you Ok?”
“Yes, yes of course. The name seems familiar that’s all” The weight of
Erin’s simple statement was as heavy as a bomb dropping on my fragile heart. That
was Interesting. Very Interesting. Did she remember me?
“Familiar?”
“I don’t know” Her eyes were searching, something that was hidden so
deep. Maggie had been the one to shorten my name and it had kind of stuck.
Maggie didn’t like Edward, she said it was too formal not like me, Eddie was laid
back and carefree. I reached over the table and put my hand over hers to give it a
squeeze.
“It’s ok” I soothed, keeping my hand tightly over hers.
“Sorry” Maggie added and shook her head.
“I’m here to finalise our business arrangement and familiarise myself with
how my company is going to market and expand your blog but keep you at the
reigns to oversee the entries and responses” I admitted and withdrew my hand
away from hers.
“Oh and by the way, I will carrying out the inspection at the end of the
week on your equipment and I can introduce any other equipment that may
enhance you’re production.” I waited for her reaction to that bit of information,
but Maggie remained in full control.
This Maggie seemed stronger somehow. Guarded. Not surprising with what
Rhodes had told me about her losing all her memories.
“That all seems fine, Mr Vance”
23

“Great. So can you run through what your blog is about and your vision for
the future and your opinion on what direction you would like marketing and
further communications to go”
“You don’t know what the blog is about, Mr Vance. Isn’t that bad for
business” Maggie teased me. I couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh at her
comment.
I sat there for over an hour listening intently to Maggie outline her dream
for ‘Finding Erin’. It was surprising how determined and ambitious this Maggie was.
She not only successfully owned and developed her site, but she put herself
through a psychology degree too. My Maggie had always dreamed of becoming a
vet. She had horses at the stables at her home in Kent. It was the Yorkshire accent
that had surprised me most though. The shy and quiet presence that I had
expected from Maggie was replaced by the strong willed Yorkshire lass that filled
the void.
“Mr Vance” Maggie’s voice penetrated my thoughts.
“Yes, sorry, what was that?”
“I was saying, our appointment for inspection is Friday at noon, is that still
convenient for you?” she asked, fiddling with her iPhone in front of her, waiting on
my affirmation for the inspection. My thoughts swirled around my lust filled brain.
All I wanted to do was pull Maggie into my arms and seep the warmth from her
golden skin.
“Of course” I said when my phone started ringing. I pulled it out my jacket
and hit answer as Rhodes name flashed on the screen.
“We have a serious problem, Sir” Rhodes voice was fierce, sending me on
high alert, looking around the restaurant. Maggie face studied me with concern.
“Is it contained?” I asked, hoping to god I hadn’t just put Maggie in danger.
“We need to discuss this now, Vance” Rhodes tone was stern, turning him
into the Master Sergeant I admired. His use of my name made my palm’s sweat and
my stomach churn.
“I’m posting surveillance around her property as we speak and three of my
best men will be positioned around her house twenty four seven until we can
decide on a plan of action to avert this security threat”
“Keep me updated. Ten minutes.” I barked into the phone, before returning
to Maggie’s concerned look. Her body sighed. I couldn’t read what she was
thinking, but the defeat that entered her eyes suggested she had something of her
own plaguing her mind and that thought put my teeth on edge.
24

“Is everything ok?” her warm smile and gentle tone hit a cord in me that I
hadn’t realised could be struck any longer. I wish I could tell her every little detail
right this instant, but Rhodes had already warned me not to overload her this
quickly. She would need to be told gently to avoid permanent damage to her mind.
I had took Rhodes word for it, he had seen enough trauma to span three lifetimes.
“Yes, just business. Running an empire can be rough” I smirked. Maggie let
out a small giggle.
“Yes it much be tough, being a billionaire” Maggie teased.
“Yes it is, I am extremely important” feigning innocence as I placed my
hand over my heart. This made everything lack in significance, our familiar banter
made me want to protect her with everything I had. I stood and made my way
around the table, standing in front of Maggie. I had to go and get briefed by
Rhodes. Maggie stood in front of me, her hair slipping around her face framing her
beautiful smile. I reached up and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear and
caressed her cheek. I was probably going to hell for this, but Maggie’s touch would
always be worthy of any kind of punishment imaginable.
“Stay safe Ma…Erin” I corrected, before heading to the front of the
restaurant. I handed the waiter my card, telling him to take care of whatever Miss
Frost desired. His knowing look satisfied my caveman desire to claim Maggie. When
I saw Rhodes stern face with his arms folded across his chest. I knew whatever he
had to tell me, would change everything, possibly testing my possessiveness over
Maggie even further.
Chapter Four.
Erin.
I had sat at the restaurant table for over ten minutes now, waiting patiently
for the Edward Vance, media mogul. The Regent was quiet this afternoon,. It
wasn’t as if I attended the place regularly but when I passed through town it was
one of the busiest restaurants in Sheffield. I lived about fifteen minutes away on
the outskirts of the city surrounded by the countryside.
I still didn’t understand why I was meeting with the owner of Vance Media.
Alex had been a delight to work with, her quirky personality made me smile with
her flame red hair. She was like dynamite at under five foot, telling me what
worked and what didn’t. Alex was barley older than me but I could see why she
had risen through the ranks at Vance Media, she was absolutely fierce. I was
disappointed when she rang to say that Vance was taking over my account to
complete the sale of the blog and help me transfer to Vance Media’s control. I still
had reservations about selling ‘Finding Erin’ but the opportunity of growing my
business had been more important than keeping sole control over it. This way, I
25

could earn a decent profit on all my hard work, grow the blog with the help of
Vance’s marketing and still receive a wage to oversee the content of the blog. I
was nervous. It was silly really, Justice had talked me through what to expect from
Edward Vance and with the girls telling me he was gay with his best friend seemed
to ease my reservations.
My emotions weren’t has bad as they normally would be when it came to
men. I was comfortable in my own skin when it came to life and living it how I
wanted, but men had never fitted into that same bracket. Head high, sit up
straight and no slouching, Faith had told me. The girls had even pick out my
clothes for this meeting. I had gone with the tight black jeans and a fitted white
tank top. I felt smart but comfortable and paired those with my favourite black
leather jacket gave me the edge I liked to dress with. My palms were sweaty,
rubbing them gently on my jeans. I took another deep breath.
“Miss Frost” The strong timbre of his voice and the clearing of his throat set
my pulse racing. What the hell was that! His presence had shocked me. When I
quickly turned around and his dark brown eyes held mine completely. The pools of
warmth and desire made me want to dive in and take a warm swim. He seemed
familiar, which was odd considering the doctors had told me that I would never
regain my memories from before I was fifteen and I knew without doubt I had
never met him before now. The way he looked at me with such admiration held a
familiarity that I had never witnessed before. He stood tall. Even if I hadn’t been
sitting down, his large frame made me feel very small at this particular moment. I
shook the thoughts from my mind and quickly stood and rushed around the chair to
greet him properly. I hadn’t made the professional impression I had hoped for.
Frost 0 – Vance 1.
Those eyes of his made me stop and blink. I wasn’t entirely sure why?. I had
the nagging feeling that I definitely knew this man.
“Mr Vance, I presume” I asked, offering my hand. Edward’s thick fingers and
callused hands made my fingertips tingle with the effects of his touch. I wasn’t
entirely sure why my body was reacting quite this way to Edward, but I knew one
thing for certain, was that I was never going to complain. The heat from his touch
made thinking impossible, my nipples became hard and I couldn’t stop him from
noticing. We stood there for a few more minutes, palm to palm, skin to skin.
He wasn’t what I had expected. He looked like he should be on the front
cover of a GQ magazine with his dark brown hair spiked at the front and his long
dark lashes surrounding the most beautiful dark brown eyes. The looks I had
expected, even though I hadn’t searched him on google like Justice had suggested
me to do the night before. What I hadn’t expected though was the tight black
jeans that showcased his physical physique and the designer black shirt rolled up
to his elbows. I expected a business suit perhaps or something professional from
26

the multi-billionaire, but this was casual and it disarmed me significantly. The
black ink that peeked out from his left shoulder was intrinsic and woven into his
skin. I wondered how far down it went and what the design entailed. I cleared my
throat trying to clear my wandering thoughts of a very tasty specimen of a man
before me. Instead of clearing my thoughts I felt the loss of his warm palm. His
distance gave me the chance to really study him. This man was more than
gorgeous and worth billions, he held a mystery I wasn’t sure existed before. The
boys I grew up with were mediocre, either immature or total geeks. I never had a
serious boyfriend. I had always felt something missing inside of me, not knowing
who I was held me back from letting someone get close to me. I stared at Edward
Vance, still waiting for him to talk, wishing he wasn’t gay after all. That was new!
I never wanted to date anyone before.
I blew out a depleted breath. Just my luck.
“Edward Vance” he said, offering me his hand again. I hesitated, not sure if
I could take another reaction to this man. My body was still humming from his last
touch. It would be so easy to surrender to his hot touch.
No.
I needed to remain professional and close this deal. It wasn’t the time to
think about my stupid hormones. At least I was finally opening up, the girls would
be proud of me, feeling something for any man was a step forward. I wasn’t a
prude, I dated occasionally in college, but I never felt comfortable with anyone.
“Nice to meet you Mr Vance, I’m Erin Frost” I replied, controlling my voice
and taking my seat again.
“Can I enquire why I am suddenly meeting with you and not continuing my
business with Alex? Is there a problem with the arrangement?” I notice the panic
that had entered my tone. I really wanted to go ahead with this deal. What if they
pulled out? What would I do? The blog couldn’t grow without Vance Media’s help,
his company could take my business to a whole new sphere that I could never
contend with.
“I like to finalise all sales within my company” He answered plainly. A tall
waiter approached the table asking what we would like to drink, I ordered a coke
with Vance ordering the same. The waiter smiled at me and then turned to Mr
Vance and his whole body tensed, averting his eyes from my view. What the hell
was that about?
“Well ok then. What can I do for you then Mr Vance?” I asked, trying to get
back on track.
“Please call me Eddie?” He answered, giving a quick smirk. His face was full
of humour. He looked young and carefree. I wondered how old he was. Faith had
mentioned his reputation of being the tyrant of the business world, but I hadn’t
27

seen any sign of that side of him. He was further from the billionaire mogul I had
pictured this morning, he was cute and flirty. No. No. I can’t start thinking of him
in that way. The way he said his name, seemed so familiar, like I had heard
someone say it like that before. My body felt limp and strange.
“Ok” finding it hard to find my voice.
“Are you Ok?” I wasn’t sure if I was, everything about this meeting seemed
overly familiar and my reaction to him, well that was another matter entirely.
“Yes. Yes of course. The name seems familiar that’s all”
“Familiar?” Eddie questioned.
“I don’t know” I answered honestly, suddenly feeling lost. I wasn’t even
sure I knew anything anymore. Eddie’s face softened and gave me a sincere smile.
“It’s ok”
That wasn’t the answer I was expecting from him.
“Sorry” Shaking my head repeatedly to try to clear it.
“I’m here to finalise our business arrangement and familiarise myself with
how my company is going to market and expand your blog but keep you at the
reigns to oversee the entries and responses” He replied finally getting back to
business and away from my body’s reaction to our meeting. I was relieved for the
reprieve.
“Oh and by the way, I will be carrying out the inspection at the end of the
week on your equipment and I can introduce any other equipment that may
enhance your production” I hadn’t expected that either. Edward Vance was
definitely not what I had expected.
“That all seems fine, Mr Vance” I answered him as strongly as I could
muster. I really didn’t want him knowing how I reacted to him.
“Great, so you can run through what your blog is about and your vision for
the future and your opinion on what direction you would like marketing and
further communications to go”
“You don’t know what the blog is about, Mr Vance. Isn’t that bad for
business” I teased, making Edward laugh.
The next hour went so fast. I told Edward all about what the blog meant to
me and the readers that made it what it was today. The feedback and promotion
of what I had to say and how they supported me through the day to day,
experiencing things for the first time and sharing these experiences through my
blog. I sat their spilling my most private moments face to face to a man I had
never met. Other than the girls, I never spoke to other people about waking up and
28

not knowing who I was or where I came from. His face was intent and intrigued at
my story, it was humbling to watch. He was lost in thought when I had finished off
what I was saying. I looked at his wishful face. Whatever he was thinking about he
was back looking carefree again, something told me this was not something that
occurred very often.
“Mr Vance”
“Yes, sorry, what was that?”
I shrugged at him, not sure why I interrupted his thoughts. Curious maybe,
nosey definitely. Edward Vance intrigued me and I wasn’t about to deny it, but I
wasn’t about to admit it out loud either.
“I was saying, our appointment for inspection is Friday at noon. Is that still
convenient for you?” Checking on my phone that I had the correct information for
him. His brown eyes flashed black. Edward watched me with an intense and
smouldering look on his face. This was…he was gay….wasn’t he? Justice had said he
was gay. The tabloids and the gossip magazines had all said he was gay. Was he bi?
God knows. How the hell would I know, I had less sexual experience than Faith,
Justice and Peace combined. This was serious. I could be in trouble, if I keep
thinking of Edward like this. The ringing brought me out of my panic filled state.
Edward was on high alert as he spoke fast into his phone, glancing round the
restaurant looking for something. I caught the look he gave one man at the far end
of the restaurant near the kitchen doors, the man was speaking intently on the
phone, just as Edward was. I swear they were talking to each other, but that
would be crazy. Right.
The worry in his eyes and the stance he took after the stern words he had
just received put me on edge. I heard him bark orders into the phone and use
words like contained and updated. I saw the transformation from the carefree
young man I was enjoying having a drink with, into the feared tycoon I had heard
Justice talk about the night before. The sudden mention of contained and
updated, reminded me that someone was snooping about in my personal life trying
to find out about my past. Were we in danger? I didn’t know, but I’d be damned if
I let my friends get hurt if someone is looking for me. If they knew something, why
not come and find me and ask and that’s why alarm bells were ringing. My
attention returned to the gorgeous man still barking orders into the phone.
This side of him made me nervous. I should have been scared of this
dominant man, but I was surprised to find that this side of him excited me and the
little winks and smirks made him that more appealing.
Help me God!
29

“Is everything Ok?” I asked quietly, suddenly concern tugged at my heart.
His body tensed, his mind racing in a flurry to answer my question. Obviously
something was up and he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Yes, just business. Running an empire can be rough” he said, changing the
subject. I giggled at his teasing tone and made him smile. His delicious mouth
smirked again, sending ripples of desire through to my core. I was a puddle of
emotions when it came to this man. What the hell was going on?
“Yes it must be tough, being a billionaire” I teased. Edward didn’t seem like
the typical billionaire, but it wasn’t like I met one every day.
“Yes it is. I am extremely important” Edward replied placing his hand over
his heart looking wounded. My giggling suddenly turned into fits of laughter that
made Edward smile even wider. The carefree look he had sported for the last hour
had returned and made my heart sore. He moved quickly around the table,
standing in front of me looking down into my eyes. His brown locks were out of
place after the strained telephone call and his body still held the tension but as he
looked at me I forgot about his panicked look and the threat that could potentially
come after me and my girls. All I could do was stare into his gorgeous face and
forget about everything else. I wondered why he felt so familiar. Another life
maybe? His large hand reached up and gently tucked a strand behind my ear and
moved down to my cheek. The faintest touch from this powerful man had me
reeling in shock.
“Stay safe Ma…Erin” he whispered, his breath tantalising my face in
response. He turned and headed straight for the door, when I noticed the same
man from before waiting on his arrival. He didn’t look very happy as they both
stormed out of the restaurant. He was a giant of a man and compared to Eddie’s
impressive physique and height. This man looked like six and half foot of solid
muscle and strength. He looked European with his dark tan and short dark brown
hair. He looked a force to be reckoned with. I hope this man was on Eddie’s side
because if not then he was in trouble.
I signalled the waiter, still in a daze from the meeting.
“How can I help Miss Frost” he asked in a polite but guarded manner, very
different from his first introduction to me.
“Can I have the check please?” I asked curtly, just wanting to get the hell
out of here. Today had been more confusing than waking up with amnesia.
“Mr Vance left his details for the check Miss Frost and told me to charge
anything else you would like to his card.” The waiter smirked at me now,
confirming my suspicions that he thought that me and Eddie were together. I
Laughed.
30

“That’s very kind, but…” I stopped. Maybe I should take advantage of Mr
Vance’s generosity. I looked up at the waiter and gave him a wide smile. “Do you
do that chocolate fudge cake with the triple layer of fudge in the middle with
extra cream” I asked, drooling from the image of the lush cake Justice had brought
me a few weeks before. Peace, Faith and I had devoured every crumb from the
cake box Justice had offered us.
“Why, yes we do” The waiter smirked with a knowing look. He offered a
small chuckle at my indulgence.
“Could you box four large slices to go please?”
He gave me a devious smile. “Why don’t you take a full cake Miss Frost? Mr
Vance is paying and I’ll box extra cream up for you to takeaway” he offered. I
suddenly liked his attitude towards my favourite cake and I looked down at his
nametag. What a coincidence I thought. I didn’t get the Alex I thought I would be
seeing today, but a different one entirely and he was giving me cake and extra
cream.
“I think I’ll just do that Alex” Nodding my agreement to his suggestion.
“Great, give me two minutes and I will be back with your order”
Alex returned with a large box offering to help me to my car with my takeaway. I
thanked him and made my way to the car. I headed towards home. I had so much
to tell Faith, Justice and Peace. Where was I going to start? The fact that he had
seemed way to familiar to be an utter stranger or the fact that my body sang for
the multi-billionaire. I went for the meeting worried that the deal was going to be
rejected or postponed, but now I had so much more to worry about.
Stupid hormones.
Why couldn’t my body react more appropriately than to my gay boss?
* * *
“You’re shitting me right” Justice burst out in fits of laughter, with half her
mouth still full of chocolate cake. When I got home, I had texted all the girls to
meet me at the house, within fifteen minutes we were hovered around the full
chocolate cake Alex had deviously suggested I take and I was telling them about
my meeting with Edward Vance.
“No” I whispered, embarrassment creeping into my cheeks.
“Wait. Let me get this straight, not only did you get all hot and flirty with
Mr I’m all hot and surly but you think you knew him from before. I thought the
doctors said that was impossible?”
31

“They did” I admitted, stumped at my own suggestion.
“I’ve never known you to talk about a guy full stop, never mind have a full
on lady boner after meeting one,” Justice chuckled out. Her face was has red as
her hair.
“Justice” we all admonished instinctively, filling the kitchen full of
laughter. I never got old of Justice’s potty mouth. Sometimes she still could even
surprise me. I held my sides. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard.
“Seriously though. Is this for real?” Peace asked warily. Out of all of us,
Peace worried the most. She was the quiet and sensitive one that was always
careful. It was one of the many things I loved her for.
“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t understand my reaction to him, but I have
this niggling feeling that he’s familiar wouldn’t leave me. I’ve never had that
before. With you guys, I have this strong bond that became stronger over time, but
my reaction to Edward was off the chart as soon as I saw him. When he asked me
to call him Eddie, I nearly fainted.” Shaking my head “I just don’t get it” I
admitted, my body sagging in defeat. I realised my rant had silent tears flowing
down my face in full force. The forlorn looks on the girls’ faces made me cry
harder. They huddled around me, giving me their strength and support.
I wiped my tears and swallowed hard. The girls sat back, waiting for me to
talk. Maybe I was being silly and exaggerating the feelings that Eddie brought out
in me. His gentle touch had set my body alight and even though I was trying to talk
myself out of what I had just told the girls, I stood by it. Eddie was different,
absolutely, completely and dramatically different. But what did I do with that?
“So what do I do?” I asked. All three of my best friends looked up in
surprise. They looked at each other, scared to even suggest anything. This was
major, feeling something beyond the reality of waking up with no memory was
huge and all four of us were feeling the repercussions of it.
Justice smile broadened and simply said “You embrace it, honey” As if it
was that simple, cocking her eyebrow at me. Justice lived life to the full and
everything was at full pelt. Her hair, her clothes, her attitude, that’s why we love
her. She is the one who makes us live our life to the full, instead of hiding behind
our pasts.
“And wither in pleasure beneath him” Justice added, in a husky voice full of
innuendo. “shppppfttt ughughugh” I heard Faith gasp as coffee spurted all over the
place. I chuckled. Faith’s face had turned blotchy and red. My heart lifted. This
was why I loved these girls so much, they made me smile when we didn’t have
much to smile about.
“Justice” I scolded. The smile on my face didn’t chastise her like I had
intended it to. Instead I could feel my face flushed and hot with embarrassment.
32

Justice winked and chuckled at my response. I couldn’t believe she just said that.
Jesus. I wasn’t sure if I was more shocked at her suggestion or the fact that my
slutty mind had already navigated down that route. I couldn’t help it. His broad
shoulders and muscles that were hidden by his fitted shirt screamed for me to see
what was underneath. I wondered if he tasted as good has he smelled.
“Come on, we all know you were thinking it. It’s written all over your face
honey. All the hot and glory details can be read in those innocent cheeks of yours”
Justice mocked well naturedly. She was right, but I wasn’t about to admit it. The
way I feel about Eddie was like a blast of cold water shocking me to my core.
Whatever this was, I knew I wouldn’t walk away from this familiar feeling. I just
had to find out what the hell that meant for my future and if that had a
connection to my past. Justice gave me those fierce violet Eyes, challenging me to
deny what she already knew. I frowned at her.
“Fine” I said petulantly. I screwed my face up and sighed in defeat. “I may
have thought of Eddie that way”
“Pleassssse” Justice retorted. “Your body is still humming from your
reaction to him, I can see it zipping off you like roles of electric ribbons” Her
words held a sincerity that was new for Justice, her snarky humour cloaked by the
size of her heart. There was longing in her tone. We all felt reluctant to let anyone
anywhere near us, to form any kind of emotional connection with the baggage we
each held. That was one of the reasons we became so close. We protected each
other from what we each feared.
“She’s right, Erin” Faith admitted. “Something has changed from when you
left the house this morning to coming back in this afternoon. Whatever Eddie is
doing to you, is a good thing in my book. Maybe he’s who you’ve been holding out
for” Faith admitted and then wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me. What the
hell had gotten into these girls? I looked over at Peace, who was sat with a sullen
look on her face. Peace’s quiet nature had scared me when we were younger. I
couldn’t always read her moods back then, but ten years had done wonders for
reading her expressions. Peace hated change more than the rest of us, she always
reverted back into herself when things went south. Even if it wasn’t a bad change,
it didn’t matter. I knew little about Peace’s past. I knew she had been neglected
and left broken by something that had changed her life forever. I looked around at
the girls that were closer than sisters could ever be. I would be lying if I said we
knew every little secret we each possessed, but that didn’t matter. We stood side
by side, just as families did, but this was by choice.
I reached over to grasp Peace’s hand, squeezing it lightly. She gave me a
tight smile. I knew words wouldn’t change any of her doubts or insecurities, so I
didn’t give her any, I gave her my support instead. The silence was deafening. We
each worried over what my reaction to Eddie meant exactly.
33

“So what now” Faith asked quietly.
“Nothing”
“What do you mean nothing?” Faith asked looking bewildered.
“I will not worry about something that may or may not happen” I admitted,
shrugging my shoulders at Faith. I suddenly loss my appetite, looking down at the
half eaten piece of chocolate heaven. All of this talk of things changing were
setting my nerves on edge and I wasn’t the only one. I looked over at Peace who
was staring down at her feet.
Chapter Five.
Eddie.
The large black table creaked under the pressure, the indentation of ware
and tare were apparent and becoming more noticeable every day. The additional
two hundred and fifty pounds of hard muscle that held his six foot four frame
made the table cry out in protest. Rhode’s large hands dug deeper into the oak
with every passing minute. This current threat was becoming increasingly more
frustrating for Rhodes. Just the week before we had cleared every possible threat
and misdemeanour to fully protect Maggie from our past. The problem is, that we
weren’t really sure if it was the past or the present threatening to attack her this
time, but I wasn’t going to take any more chances. I had already placed enough
security on Maggie fit for the queen. The easier option would be to tell her and
then remove her from this other life she had and lock her up in an ivory tower. I
had to smart about this. Maggie would have never allowed me to do that before
and I’m sure to hell that the Erin I met earlier wouldn’t let me either. I would
probably get a couple of black eyes and a groin injury for my troubles. Erin was all
spit and fire sizzling under the surface and the specs of caramel that ran through
her eyes burned with passion, desire and unadulterated lust. The attraction
between us was undeniable.
“Quit breaking my fucking table Rhodes and clue me in. Is she in danger
again?
“Have I put her in danger?” I asked again. My voice cracking at the end.
What if I caused this latest threat and endangered Maggie. I was supposed to be
protecting her, not bringing the threat closer and potentially getting her killed. I
couldn’t last another ten years without her in my arms, feeling the warmth and
caress of her under my palms. I had to know she was safe in my arms.
“Asshole” Rhodes mumbled under his breath. This was the worst part of
being friends with the people you employed because there was a fine line between
work and personal, especially being a Vance. Maggie was personal, this threat was
34

personal. Me, Rhodes and Rafi had searched for the last five years for Maggie and
now we couldn’t even decipher a simple threat to protect her. The feeling that I
was powerless had followed me since Maggie had gone and now that Maggie was
back, I felt even more powerless than before.
“A computer virus was sent to Social Services database to corrupt and
disable the protocols of the documentation held on previous charges of state.
These files consist of all data prior to being released as an adult into society. The
thing is, this file consists of their habits, blood type, state of entry into the system
and other indicators that could enable social services to find a decent and stable
home for a child, especially one at this late stage of adolescence. “
“Has any files been leaked, can we confirm?” I asked cutting Rhodes off mid
flow.
“No sir, the firewall bounced the feedback through the virus it had already
created and couldn’t fully implement any changes to the database. This is not
saying that they didn’t receive any additional accompanied files that were
essential to the assessment of these young girls. The slightest detail could lead
anyone of them to Maggie and then we would be pissing in the dark” Rhodes
admitted on a growl.
“What exactly are you getting at Ellerson” I spat between gritted teeth. The
uneasiness of the situation made me want to tear someone apart. The anger was
pulsating off of Rhodes and my interference was making the situation more severe.
“You know what the hell I’m saying Eddie. Surveillance. Wires and security
and backup” Rhodes said in a sharp tone, standing up and folding his arms across
his solid frame. His dark hair was dishevelled and his grey eyes held a darkness
that I hadn’t seen since he came back from war. This breach of security had him
on edge. We were in the dark and until we could figure out what the hell was
going on we had to protect Maggie at all cost.
“Do whatever needs to be done Rhodes. I mean anything to keep Maggie
safe. I can’t lose her again”
“I will.” Rhodes walked over and squeezed my shoulder before leaving my
office. Rhodes wasn’t one to show emotion like most men, but I put that down to
the marine in him.
What the hell do I do now?
I stared at my computer screen. I was waiting for Rafi to return from his
meetings to tell him about seeing Maggie.
“Mr Vance, I have your father on line one” Elaine’s concerned voice came
through the intercom.
“Put him through.”
35

“What do you want old man?” I said into the phone, not bothering with
pleasantries. The laboured breathing on the other end of the line was the only
indication that the line had connected.
“Well? What do you want dad?”
“Your mother wanted me to remind you of the gala next Friday. She wanted
me to make sure you were still going to attend as planned.” He said in a non-committal
tone.
“Why didn’t Mom ring me then?” I asked, rolling my eyes into the phone. My
father never made a call if he didn’t have a hidden agenda. One thing I have learnt
about my father over the years is that he hated to lose control over his assets and I
came under that distinction. I was a pawn to his power game. His communication
company was one of the largest independently owned corporations worldwide.
When my business started to take off, he tried to sabotage my client base and
contact list. He just made me work that much harder. After losing Maggie, he was
determined to mould me into him, trying to use my loss to bring me into the fold
and keep me in line. The more he demanded control over me, the more I rebelled.
His persistence was constantly biting him in the arse.
“Well?” I was growing impatient of his bullshit.
“I wanted to talk…”
“No.” I cut him off.
“My decision to your offer to buy the communications division is not up for
discussion and will never be. Anyways, that’s Rafi’s department and you know how
he is with his possessions. He’s worse than you and I combined.”
“This your final word on that matter?” he asked, returning to the harsh
businessman that I’ve always been subjected to. His motto was to be the best.
As soon as I had uttered the word Yes, the line went dead. It’s funny how he
only calls when he wants something in return. He can’t even have a normal
conversation with his own son. Ridiculous but undeniably true.
I quickly dialled my Mom’s number and waited.
“Hello dear” she answered with a happy tone. My mother had several tones
she reserved for phone calls. Her happy tone, as I called it, was when she was
acting as if we were one big happy family. Her bullshit had become as patronizing
as my father’s, consistently trying to reign me in. I suppose you could say my
family was old fashioned. They believed if you were born into money then you
should act that part and takeover the family business when necessary. As if we
were born superior than other people, even though they never asked me if that’s
the life that I wanted. They didn’t have the first clue about me. What I wanted or
needed. After Maggie was taken from me, no one could use her as leverage
36

anymore. My relationship with Maggie was Edmund’s constructive ploy to keep me
loyal and pliable to his will, but when Maggie had disappeared I had nothing left to
lose. They supported our relationship at the start, as long as it kept me in line with
their plan for me. I wanted to show them all, I was so much more than just a
Vance.
“Don’t dear me, Mom. Why did I just receive a call about the gala, when I
had already told you I would be attending? I won’t be a pawn in your game mother.
I already told you I didn’t want him calling me again. He only calls me when he
wants something from me. You do the same for one of your little social functions.”
“Edward, don’t use that tone with me” Her light and airy tone turning into
the stern tone I remember from my childhood. She was another pawn in my
Edmund’s game. She had natural blonde hair and pure green eyes compared to my
dark looks that matched my fathers. My dark eyes didn’t resemble either of my
parents.
“Don’t Mom. I’m sick of this pretence. Next time you want something just
ring my assistant or send me a frigging email because I’m done with this bullshit. I
will maintain my appearances for the Vance charities but apart from that. I’m
done, do I make myself clear. I’m done. You and Edmund can go and toy with
someone else’s fucking life.”
I was breathing heavy by the time I hung up on her. I hated I had to play this
game with them. My relationship with either of them was difficult. I have kept my
distance from both of them for months and as soon as Maggie comes back into my
life, so does my parents. This gala had come at the worst possible time. The gala
was the biggest function for the elite of the business world that supported the
Melody Foundation. It was the only function I was fully committed to. It supported
children like Molly with a life threatening heart condition that either cut their life
short or restricted their living. I sighed in frustration. I had thought things were
turning a corner and then something reels me back in, keeping me in their invisible
restraints.
“Mr Vance, your two o’clock is here”
“Send them in Elaine”
The rest of the afternoon flew by, one meeting turned into another. I tried
not to think about the gala or the ramifications of actually being in the same room
as both my parents. I thought of Maggie and her long flowing hair and the curves
she tried to hide under those skinny jeans and figure hugging tank. The shape of
her perky breasts and the sliver of skin just above her jeans kept peeking out when
she moved. Just thinking about her made me hard. Her supple lips were soft and
screamed for me to kiss them, possess them, and take them over and over again.
37

“You’re screwed you know that right” Rafi’s voice drifted from the
doorframe. I looked up at the smirk on his face. His body was relaxed and he
looked more in control than he had last week. His dark jeans and his favourite blue
t-shirt clung to his still thin frame but fitted better, he was obviously eating better
than before our break.
“Hello to you to?”
“Don’t give me that Eddie?” Rafi chuckled at me.
“Give you what?” I asked innocently.
“You know full well?” shooting me a sceptical look.
“Do I?” I challenged.
“Yes you do, so stop with the bullshit and dodging my fucking question?”
Glancing over at Rafi’s frustrated face. I decided to take pity on him. “Yeah
I am totally screwed, I do know that. But I knew that at fifteen so it doesn’t really
matter, does it? I knew that I would only love her and only her forever. That hasn’t
changed and I don’t think it ever will. She is the only one I have ever wanted. I
looked at her today and my body hummed at her just being near. I need her to
breath. I need her to live and I need her to give me my life back.”
Rafi stood there still. I think he knew all this before I emptied my soul. His
shoulders relaxed and his smirk smoke volumes.
“That’s more like it”
“I’m glad you’re pleased” I replied sarcastically. Chuckling at his
amusement.
“I am. So…..is she the same?” Rafi asked peering down to the floor, looking
uncomfortable at asking something personal about Maggie.
“I can’t wait for you to see her. She looks exactly the same. She’s
absolutely beautiful, her hair is longer and she’s a little curvier than she was when
she was younger. Her eyes have changed their more distinctive now. The browns
circle her eyes like caramel pools of chocolate. Then she opens her mouth and
she’s nothing like the Maggie I knew. She speaks with a strong Yorkshire accent
and is blunt. So she’ll love you” I winked at him. Rafi grunted at me, causing me to
laugh out loud. “She could have had me on my knees at any time she wanted, but
she’s oblivious to it now”
Rafi’s frown turned into a chuckle. “Like I said, you’re fucking screwed” He
held his stomach while he laughed harder.
“I loved Maggie before, but I can tell she is going to be amazing now. What
are they calling her now? Is it Erin?”
38

“Erin Frost. All I see is my Maggie. A very grown up version of what she was,
but Maggie all the same.”
“So what’s next?” Rafi asked me, but I didn’t have the answer so I just
shrugged at him.
“I don’t know. Rhodes says security, wires and surveillance.”
“I agree,” he said with conviction.
“How are you?” Rafi turned eyeing me with suspicion.
“I’m fine. Honestly Eddie. Don’t worry so much.” How could I not, he was
family.
“I’ll try, but promise me something?”
“Anything”
“See Marley. Just to keep me sane”
“Please” I added.
Rafi’s shoulders slumped, but he nodded anyway. I was thankful that he was in an
agreeable mood. I knew that his condition was a sure subject. Even though I knew
he could manage his disease. I was all he had. His family was more condescending
than mine. My family were influenced by society and the demands of the Vance
name. Rafi’s family was the opposite, true Italian blood. Family first and
tradition’s must be obeyed, rather than making your own path. Rafi’s disease was
hereditary and this strained his relationship with his father when he was diagnosed
at twenty. He saw it has a mark against his heritage. His only son carrying an
illness.
“So….. How was your clients today?
“I’ve only had two conference calls and one Skype call all day, nothing too
taxing. I just confirming the limitations and expectations of our products. I expect
Matthews and Farley’s to sign any day now”
“At least that’s something we don’t have to worry about for the time being.
By the way the Gala is next Friday and you’re on the guest list thanks to mother.”
“Aww shit”
“Exactly” I groaned. I wasn’t happy about the timing of this gala either, but
the foundation was important to all of us, Molly was still an important part of my
past.
“You ok about this?” Rafi asked, motioning towards me. I knew what he was
asking, so I just nodded. I didn’t really want to have this discussion.
Not now.
39

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