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Assertive Communication Skills
Assertiveness


  describes someone
     who behaves
 confidently and is not
frightened to say what
 they want or believe
Being Assertive
  is not the same
      as being
     aggressive



Being aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways
           that violate the rights of others.
What causes people to avoid being
               assertive?




Fear of displeasing others
Fear of not being liked
   Do you ask for help if you need it?
   Do you express anger and annoyance
    appropriately?
   Do you ask questions when you're
    confused?
   Do you volunteer your opinions when you
    think or feel differently from others?
   Are you able to say "no" when you don't
    want to do something?
   Do you speak with a generally confident
    manner, communicating caring and strength?
   Do you look at people when you're talking
    to them?

                 How Assertive Are You?
Types of Assertion
1. Basic Assertion
   This is a simple, straightforward expression of your
    beliefs, feelings, or opinions.
   It's usually a simple "I want" or "I feel" statement.
2. Empathic Assertion: This conveys some sensitivity to
  the other person
"I know you've really been busy, but I want to feel
 that our relationship is important to you. I want
      you to make time for me and for us."
3. Escalating Assertion: This
  occurs when the other person
  fails to respond to your basic
  assertion and continues to
  violate your rights.You gradually
  escalate the assertion and
  become increasingly firm.
4. I-Language Assertion
 This is especially useful for expressing negative feelings.

 It involves a 3-part statement:
 When you do . . . (describe the behavior).
 The effects are . . . (describe how the behavior
                                  concretely affects you).
 I'd prefer. . . (describe what you want).

I-Language Assertion can help you constructively focus
   that anger and be clear about your own feelings.
Being Assertive
   Power of Positive Beliefs
   Being Direct
   Focus on Facts
   Focus on Consequences
   Stop Put Down Behavior
Why is Assertiveness
         Important?
      Depression


Resentment

    Frustration
The Assertive
Bill Of Rights
I Have The Right
  To Be Treated
  With Respect
I Have The Right
 To Have And Express
       My Own
Feelings And Opinions
I Have The Right
 To Be Listened To
And Taken Seriously
I Have The Right
     To Set
My Own Priorities
I Have The Right
   To Say No
Without Feeling
     Guilty
I Have The Right
     To Ask
For What I Want
I Have The Right
     To Get
 What I Pay For
I Have The Right
To Make Mistakes
I Have The Right
  To Assert Myself,
 Even Though I May
Inconvenience Others
I Have The Right
     To Choose
Not To Assert Myself
The most powerful
    assertiveness
technique is to repeat
 your command with
   the confidence
      of a child
Assertiveness is not
    what you do,
 it's who you are!
Steps to become more assertive
   Realize where changes are needed and believe in your
    rights.

   Figure out appropriate ways of asserting yourself in each
    specific situation that concerns you.

   Practice giving assertive responses.

   Try being assertive in real life situations.
Chinese Proverb


‘He who asks is a
   fool for five
 minutes but he
who does not ask
  remains a fool
     forever’

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Being assertive

  • 2. Assertiveness describes someone who behaves confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe
  • 3. Being Assertive is not the same as being aggressive Being aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways that violate the rights of others.
  • 4. What causes people to avoid being assertive? Fear of displeasing others Fear of not being liked
  • 5. Do you ask for help if you need it?  Do you express anger and annoyance appropriately?  Do you ask questions when you're confused?  Do you volunteer your opinions when you think or feel differently from others?  Are you able to say "no" when you don't want to do something?  Do you speak with a generally confident manner, communicating caring and strength?  Do you look at people when you're talking to them? How Assertive Are You?
  • 6. Types of Assertion 1. Basic Assertion  This is a simple, straightforward expression of your beliefs, feelings, or opinions.  It's usually a simple "I want" or "I feel" statement.
  • 7. 2. Empathic Assertion: This conveys some sensitivity to the other person "I know you've really been busy, but I want to feel that our relationship is important to you. I want you to make time for me and for us."
  • 8. 3. Escalating Assertion: This occurs when the other person fails to respond to your basic assertion and continues to violate your rights.You gradually escalate the assertion and become increasingly firm.
  • 9. 4. I-Language Assertion This is especially useful for expressing negative feelings. It involves a 3-part statement: When you do . . . (describe the behavior). The effects are . . . (describe how the behavior concretely affects you). I'd prefer. . . (describe what you want). I-Language Assertion can help you constructively focus that anger and be clear about your own feelings.
  • 10. Being Assertive  Power of Positive Beliefs  Being Direct  Focus on Facts  Focus on Consequences  Stop Put Down Behavior
  • 11. Why is Assertiveness Important? Depression Resentment Frustration
  • 13. I Have The Right To Be Treated With Respect
  • 14. I Have The Right To Have And Express My Own Feelings And Opinions
  • 15. I Have The Right To Be Listened To And Taken Seriously
  • 16. I Have The Right To Set My Own Priorities
  • 17. I Have The Right To Say No Without Feeling Guilty
  • 18. I Have The Right To Ask For What I Want
  • 19. I Have The Right To Get What I Pay For
  • 20. I Have The Right To Make Mistakes
  • 21. I Have The Right To Assert Myself, Even Though I May Inconvenience Others
  • 22. I Have The Right To Choose Not To Assert Myself
  • 23. The most powerful assertiveness technique is to repeat your command with the confidence of a child
  • 24. Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!
  • 25. Steps to become more assertive  Realize where changes are needed and believe in your rights.  Figure out appropriate ways of asserting yourself in each specific situation that concerns you.  Practice giving assertive responses.  Try being assertive in real life situations.
  • 26. Chinese Proverb ‘He who asks is a fool for five minutes but he who does not ask remains a fool forever’