Impacting Your Spouse message by Shane and Andrea Fell and the 'Having a Marriage of Influence' young couples event at Elmbrook Church 10.9.2010.

1. HAVING A MARRIAGE
OF INFLUENCE
Week 2: Impacting Your Spouse
Guest Speakers
Shane & Andrea Fell
October 9, 2010
LivingMarriage
elmbrook church young couples fellowship
LivingMarriage
elmbrook church young couples fellowship

2. MATTHEW 5:13-16

3. MATTHEW 5:13-16
You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt
loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty
again? It is no longer good for anything, except
to be thrown out and trampled by men. You
are the light of the world. A city on a hill
cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a
lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put
it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in
the house. In the same way, let your light shine
before men, that they may see your good
deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

4. HAVING A MARRIAGE OF
INFLUENCE
Impacting Your Spouse

6. “Marriage is a divine
conspiracy, arranged by
God for your
transformation.”
~ John & Stasi Eldredge

7. HEBREWS
10:24

8. HEBREWS
10:24
And let us consider how we
may spur one another on
toward love and good deeds.

9. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

10. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding

11. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
• Understanding your Situation
2. Encouraging • Understanding your Spouse
3. Interceding • Understanding your Savior

12. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
SITUATION

13. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
SITUATION
1. Marriage is not easy
2. Our attitude is important
3. Beware of the enemy

15. JAMES 3:2
We all stumble in many ways. If
anyone is never at fault in what
he says, he is a perfect man, able
to keep his whole body in check.

16. JAMES 3:2
We all stumble in many ways. If
anyone is never at fault in what
he says, he is a perfect man, able
to keep his whole body in check.
ROMANS 3:23
For all have sinned and fall
short of the glory of God.

17. YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS

18. YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS
What’s your heart attitude toward
your spouse? Is it positive or negative?
How do you speak about your spouse
when you are not in their presence?

19. EPHESIANS
4:29

20. EPHESIANS
4:29
Do not let any unwholesome
talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for
building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit
those who listen.

22. “Happiness in marriage
waits upon the shift
from changing you to
changing me”
~ John & Stasi Eldredge

23. MATTHEW
7:3-5

24. MATTHEW
7:3-5
Why do you look at the speck of
sawdust in your brother's eye and
pay no attention to the plank in
your own eye? How can you say to
your brother, 'Let me take the
speck out of your eye,' when all
the time there is a plank in your
own eye? You hypocrite, first take
the plank out of your own eye, and
then you will see clearly to remove
the speck from your brother's eye.

25. BEWARE THE ENEMY

26. BEWARE THE ENEMY
We have any enemy who does not
want to see us succeed in becoming
more Christ-like in our marriage.
The “father of lies” (John 8:44).

27. Relativity - M.C. Escher

28. JAMES 4:7

29. JAMES 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to
God. Resist the devil, and he
will flee from you.

30. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
SPOUSE

31. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
SPOUSE
1. Know your spouse’s story
2. Champion your spouse’s gifts
3. Understand your spouse’s needs

32. QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

33. QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
Are you a student of your spouse?
Do you know their story?

34. I PETER 4:10

35. I PETER 4:10
Each one should use whatever
gift he has received to serve
others, faithfully administering
God's grace in its various forms.
*For more information on spiritual gifts, see Romans 12, I Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4.

36. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
S.H.A.P.E.

37. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
S.H.A.P.E.
S piritual Gifts

38. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts
H eart

39. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts
H eart
Abilities

40. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts
H eart
Abilities
P
ersonality

41. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
S.H.A.P.E.
S
piritual Gifts
H eart
Abilities
P
ersonality
E
xperiences

43. JAMES 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my
brothers, whenever you face
trials of many kinds, because
you know that the testing of
your faith develops
perseverance. Perseverance
must finish its work so that
you may be mature and
complete, not lacking
anything.

44. JAMES 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my
brothers, whenever you face
trials of many kinds, because
you know that the testing of
your faith develops
perseverance. Perseverance EPHESIANS
must finish its work so that
you may be mature and
2:10
complete, not lacking For we are God's
anything. workmanship, created in
Christ Jesus to do good
works, which God prepared in
advance for us to do.

45. QUESTION TO CONSIDER
Are you a champion of your spouse using
their spiritual gifts, or a stumbling block?

46. HOW DO YOU RECHARGE?

47. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
SAVIOR

48. UNDERSTANDING YOUR
SAVIOR
• You have a Savior (and it’s not your spouse)
• Your spouse has a Savior (and it’s not you)

50. PSALM 62:1
My soul finds rest in God
alone; my salvation comes
from him.

51. PSALM 62:1
My soul finds rest in God
alone; my salvation comes
from him.
MATTHEW 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his
righteousness, and all these things
will be given to you as well.

53. “The greatest gift you
can give to your marriage
is for you to develop a
real relationship with
Jesus Christ.”
~ John & Stasi Eldredge

54. QUESTION TO CONSIDER

55. QUESTION TO CONSIDER
Are you more concerned with your
spouse pleasing God than you are
with your spouse pleasing you?

56. QUESTION TO ASK YOUR
SPOUSE

57. QUESTION TO ASK YOUR
SPOUSE
How can I help cheer you on
in your relationship with God?

58. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding

59. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
• Encourage by word
3. Interceding • Encourage by deed
• Share how God is at work

61. GALATIANS
5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control.

62. GALATIANS
5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control.
JAMES 2:17-18
Faith by itself, if it is not
accompanied by action,
is dead.

64. •Share what God is doing in your life,
and ask your spouse what God is
doing in their life.
•Prayerfully encourage your spouse to
grow in their walk with Christ and to
serve (individually and as a couple).

65. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding

66. IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding
• Pray for your spouse
• Pray with your spouse

67. JAMES 5:16

68. JAMES 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to
each other and pray for each
other so that you may be
healed. The prayer of a righteous
man is powerful and effective.

69. INTERCEDING FOR YOUR
SPOUSE

70. INTERCEDING FOR YOUR
SPOUSE
•Pray for your spouse, specifically,
every day.
•Pray with your spouse, specifically,
every day.

71. CLOSING THOUGHTS

72. CLOSING THOUGHTS
HEBREWS 10:24
And let us consider how we
may spur one another on
toward love and good deeds.

73. APPLICATION

74. APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.

75. APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
their growth and celebrate.

76. APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
their growth and celebrate.
• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your
spouse grow.

77. APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
their growth and celebrate.
• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your
spouse grow.
• Openly share what God is doing in your life.

78. APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in
their growth and celebrate.
• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your
spouse grow.
• Openly share what God is doing in your life.
• Pray for and with each other every day.

79. SMALL GROUP
DISCUSSION

80. SMALL GROUP
DISCUSSION
• Share something that you appreciate about
your spouse, or give an example of something
your spouse has done recently that
demonstrated serving love.
• How do you “recharge” individually or as a
couple?
• How might you and your spouse use your
gifts, abilities, and experiences to serve Christ?

81. CONNECT WITH LIVING
MARRIAGE ONLINE

82. CONNECT WITH LIVING
MARRIAGE ONLINE
Blog - livingmarriage.wordpress.com
Follow us on Twitter @livingmarriage

83. Looking Ahead ...
HAVING A MARRIAGE
OF INFLUENCE
Week 3: Impacting Others
Guest Speakers
Dick & Cindy Greenup
October 16, 2010
LivingMarriage
elmbrook church young couples fellowship
LivingMarriage
elmbrook church young couples fellowship