1. Details & Structure
Kathleen Flinn

2. In this session, we‟ll
discuss

 The “Who Cares Test”
 Focus, Theme and POV
 Service vs. Story
 Leads that make people read
 Supporting Details
 The “Magic” Middle – keep people reading
 Cliffs, slopes and speed bumps
 Why you want a memorable ending

3. “Sure, it‟s interesting.
But who cares?”
 Dr. James J. Nyka, journalism professor

4. Why do you care?

 The competition is stiff in food blogging.
 You build readership when you engage readers
 Most people write food blogs because they have
something to say/share – I believe you can push
yourself and say it better.

5. “Crutches”

It takes a lot to pass the Who Cares Test when you rely on
food blogging‟s overused compositional crutches:
 The Grandmother/mother post
 The Weather report post
(“It‟s (spring, summer) so it‟s time for (asparagus, peaches)”
 The farmer‟s market post
(“I went to the farmer‟s market and got some peaches..”)
 The photo “dump” post (photos and a bit of text)

6. Focus, theme and POV

 What is your focus?
Is your entire point really about getting peaches from the
farmer‟s market? Or getting out of the house?
 What is your theme?
Food writing can be about more than a pie, consider a larger
story: about friendship, loneliness, the hassles of motherhood, the
fleeting nature of summer…
 Consider changing your point of view
What is it like to sell peaches at a farmer‟s market? What is the
seller‟s point of view? The millions of question, people touching
food they intend to buy… ?

7. The Power of
Opening Lines

You get one chance to make a good impression

8. Do these pass
“The Who Cares Test?”

 “Strawberries are in season.”
 “I saw (berries, squash, etc.) at the farmer‟s market
and decided to bring some home…”
 “I made this dish a few weeks ago, but my mouth is
still drooling looking at the photos.”
 “Did you know… ?” (Odds are the readers knows,
and that it‟s also an uncreative lead)

9. …and then what happened?

“When I heard a knock on my apartment
door a couple of weeks ago, I did what any
normal person would do. I hid.”
http://foodforthethoughtless.com/2012/07/blueberry-oatmeal-
cookie-recipe/
A classic “…and then what happened” lead propels people to find
out what’s coming next.

10. Humor always works

“There are more recipes for biscuits
and gravy in the world than there are
boob jobs in Beverly Hills. Many of
them are passable, at best.”
http://www.saltyseattle.com/2012/04/make-perfect-biscuits-and-
gravy-part-one-the-biscuit/

11. Moments & Metaphors

“Last night as I was cleaning up after dinner I
found a piece of basil on the keyboard, stuck
between the Z and the X key.
It was tricky to fish it out with a fingernail without
holding down one of the keys, a good visual for what
it‟s like when I‟m sitting down to write sometimes.
Stuck right there, at the end of the alphabet.”
http://theplumpalate.com/2012/07/26/black-rice-salad-with-shelling-peas/

12. A bit of Mystery

“We met over plastic tubs of chickpeas, carrot
coins, and croutons.
Even if I„d wanted to look at him, I couldn‟t have. The salad
bar‟s sneeze guard obscured my view, and Colin‟s face was
refracted through its surface. But believe me when I tell you,
I wasn‟t looking at him. I was focused squarely on the task at
hand -- spooning kidney beans into my bowl and searching
for the freshest clumps of blue cheese…”
http://5secondrule.typepad.com/my_weblog/2012/08/love-at-the-salad-
bar.html

13. Writing Exercise – “The Postcard Turn”
You have three lines to pique the interest of someone
about one of your favorite places so they turn the
postcard over, hoping for more words

14. The Magic Middle

Keep it moving and keep readers interested

15. “The middle starts when
the beginning starts to
wear off.”
–John Rezek, former articles editor,
Playboy

16. Pitfalls of the Middle

 Cliffs: Drop-offs in the story. “Hey, what happened to
the person in the second sentence?”
 Slopes: The story goes on too long with a lack of
focus, detail or interesting elements
(“The Chatty Neighbor” effect)
 Speed bumps: Your story gets confusing, brings
up points or facts that make the reader pause, includes
dropping in foreign words, references to the obscure

17. Mediocre Middles

 “You can‟t let good (peaches, strawberries, etc.) go to
waste, so I decide to make (a pie, a tart, etc.)”
 “But first, let me tell you the story of Aunt Rose…”
(unrelated to this story, but you go on for 200 words…)
 “The good folks at (company name) called and asked if I
would make a dish based on this product. I‟d never used
it, but I did see a recipe for it in a magazine once…”
(Disclosure is important, but uninteresting; consider a standard
method of disclosure that doesn’t introduce a speed bump )

18. Insight/Admission

“It was a delightful surprise. It also made me realize
that I had been acting like a cynical shut-in…”
http://foodforthethoughtless.com/2012/07/blueberry-oatmeal-cookie-
recipe/

19. Layer in detail

“This week I read that there is a heart-shaped meadow
in England. A man there mourned and celebrated the
life of his late wife by planting thousands of oak trees
on his farm.”
http://theplumpalate.com/2012/07/26/black-rice-salad-with-shelling-peas/

20. Add in “gold coins”

 “Don‟t skip steps! Good biscuits and gravy cannot be
whipped up as quickly as the frothy libido of a
teenager.”
“…I set out to make a biscuit flakier than Paris Hilton’s
driver’s ed attendance record, not just one as fluffy as her
ego…”
http://www.saltyseattle.com/2012/04/make-perfect-biscuits-and-gravy-part-one-the-biscuit/

21. Toss in a great quote

“Cheryl Sternman tonged a tomato at me.”
http://5secondrule.typepad.com/my_weblog/2012/08
/love-at-the-salad-bar.html

22. Reinforce the title

 “Strangely, I rarely cook for my parents. It isn‟t
because I am afraid to, feel that they won‟t like my
dishes, that they will complain or that my dishes
won‟t be up to their standards. That isn‟t it at all.”
http://www.monicabhide.com/2012/08/why-i-dont-
cook-for-my-parents.html

23. Writing Exercise: Halfway through a letter
You have two lines to set up a second beginning –
something fun, a new metaphor, a great quote

24. Ending Elegantly

People remember what they read last

25. Most people don‟t close it at all.
“
They just sort of let their post end
abruptly or trail off into the abyss.”
- Marianne Hale,
a novice food blog reader

26. Can it end better than this?

“Enjoy!”
“I hope you like it.”
“I thought this was great, but tell me what you think!”
“Here‟s to you, grandma!”
“I‟m going to go eat now!”

27. What did you learn?

“Perhaps they‟ve knocked again when I was away at
work, or perhaps not. Two things are certain, however:
1.) People who bake cookies and leave nice notes for an
entire apartment building are not by nature anti-social,
so our eventual meeting is an inevitability and 2.) The
next time I hear someone knock on my door, I‟m
answering it. There might be more food involved.”
http://foodforthethoughtless.com/2012/07/blueberry-oatmeal-cookie-recipe/

28. Bring it full circle

“…We will need to be together, doing little beautiful
things that will eventually grow into something
bigger, something that will someday look like the
picture we have in mind. We‟ll need to work together
and eat together. To eat comfort food together. To
climb out of our rut at the end of the alphabet, draw a
map of the big picture, take a few bites and start
planting.”
http://theplumpalate.com/2012/07/26/black-rice-salad-with-shelling-peas/

29. Clarify the metaphor

“…Maybe I loved him already, way down in my tippy
toes, in a place so hidden it was reachable only by a
pair of nondescript, plastic, salad bar tongs, a pair of
tongs that knew me better than I knew myself.”
http://5secondrule.typepad.com/my_weblog/2012/08/love-at-the-salad-bar.html

30. Shock & Awe

 “I‟m going to spare you the sausage making and
gravy coaxing for Part Two, which you can
read here. I promise it‟s not quite as long, but you
will need it if you want to nail biscuits and gravy the
way my daddy nailed your mama last night.”
http://www.saltyseattle.com/2012/04/make-perfect-biscuits-and-gravy-part-one-the-biscuit/

31. - The Hunger Games

32. Writing Exercises

 Tell the same story starting in at least two to three
different places
 Go to the supermarket instead of the farmer‟s market
 Write a post using verbs and descriptive words you‟ve
never used before
 Change the point of view on a story – instead of being
you, what does another person in the story see?

33. Posts from this session

Howdy Neighbor
http://foodforthethoughtless.com/2012/07/blueberry-
oatmeal-cookie-recipe/
Black rice salad with shelling peas
http://theplumpalate.com/2012/07/26/black-rice-
salad-with-shelling-peas/
We met over the salad bar
http://5secondrule.typepad.com/my_weblog/2012/08
/love-at-the-salad-bar.html

34. And more…

 The Greatest Food Blog Giveaway Ever!
http://www.saltyseattle.com/2012/05/win-it-the-
biggest-giveaway-a-food-blogger-has-ever-given-
away/
 Why I Don‟t Cook for My Parents
http://www.monicabhide.com/2012/08/why-i-
dont-cook-for-my-parents.html
 Biscuits & Gravy: Part I
http://www.saltyseattle.com/2012/04/make-
perfect-biscuits-and-gravy-part-one-the-biscuit/

35. Enjoy!