Mother

1. 04 / My Mother
My mother was born on 19-09-1919 in the Ogale family staying at Matunga. Her father was a
businessman owning a Grocery Shop having a good reputation in the area. She had three
sisters and three brothers. Two brothers retired from MCGM popularly known as BMC.
Elder one retired as head clerk, while younger one retired as shop & establishment inspector.
My Mom was very intelligent in studies and had passed 7th standard in those days. However,
a further study was not pursued. She did not pursue Diploma in education etc. to get a job as a
school teacher. She could read and write English. She was very proud to sign in English.
My father was most favourite son-in-law of Ogale Family and enjoyed good relationship with
his father-in-law. I hardly remember having gone to Matunga for a stay or even my Mamas
showing love and affections for us. Once or twice I remember having stayed there with my
maternal cousin brother Vilas. (Vilas was of my age. After SSC, he pursued technical diploma
and secured a good job. However due to lock out in the factory, he lost the job. He had tough
time to look after his family but his wife supported him. He expired untimely. I wrote a
condolence letter to his wife. After few years, we had a phone conversation and to my surprise
she thanked me for sending a nice condolence & moral support letter. She requested me to
excuse her for not acknowledging receipt of the letter. Friends, I do not have the copy of that
letter. He was very fond of education. His elder son became a CA and younger one became a
CS. May his soul rest in peace.)
My Mami taught me ‘Ramaraksha’. I was very small may be studying in 3rd standard when
my Grand father expired. My Grand mother expired in 1972 at the age of 85 years. (Probably
she had Saturn in her 8th house.)
My Aai was short in height but good looking. Her intelligence could not get scope in Vaidya
family as her service were called for looking after the big family and guests which poured at
regular intervals. Our home was like a ‘Guest house.’ We could hardly enjoy the privacy /
space in our childhood due to a small house and guests. This had a great impact on my
mind. Many years I had neither seen sunrise nor sunset because at sunrise I would reach the
library for studying or proceed to office early morning and at sunset again either I would be in
the library or in my cabin doing office assignment. Many a times I had gone to public garden /
Chowpatty for studying.

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My dada was very short tempered (may due to his health problems) and hence it was very
difficult to get across any idea or opinion. Thus, she had to tolerate a lot in the initial stages of
her marriage. My eldest uncle (so called Lawyer of Devrukh) insisted on changing her name at
the time of marriage. I was surprised when I heard this from mother. I could not get the
answer as to how my father yielded to his pressure and changed her name to ‘Satyabhama’.
However, I am proud of my mother because she continued her maternal name ‘Shantabai’
and signed all documents as such. Dada gave silent approval for her decision.
Apart from this, I hardly remember two more occassions when she took firm stand against
the wishes of Dada. Dada wished to bring his nephew (my cousin, son of my youngest Uncle)
to Mumbai for studies as he was not getting along with my Poona uncle and his kids.
Second incident was of baby sitting of Rajan. (My sister’s son) (Rajan expired untimely at a
young age of 46 years on 10-07-2009 /Born on 10-04-1963. May his soul rest in peace)
As she was forced to accept the health problem of my father, her personality got diluted
forcibly as adjustment with Life, was call of the day rather than exception.
Her love and affection for my sister and eldest brother was more as compared to me and my
elder brother as evidenced from her actions and a way of talking. However she never
admitted this. I gave her a benefit of doubt. Her love for sister was natural, may be due to her
poor health since childhood and worry about her future. However, our family was lucky to
get good son-in law who understood and accepted her wholeheartedly.
My mother had a basic weakness of inability to take decision. In fact I have seen this
inability to take decision with many educated working ladies. She would also get convinced
with the first argument on any issue. I could not understand the logic for this weakness as she
was bestowed with good common sense. (I have also realized that common sense is most
uncommon with many.) Hence, she never took any firm stand on any issue. At best she
would attempt to contradict with me and my elder brother. But with my sister and eldest
brother, no way.
Barring this weakness (No body is perfect.) she possessed unusual good qualities as a
human being. She would always talk and mention about good qualities possessed by any one

3. 3
including her rivals or those who had troubled her. She would do her own household chores
and offered helping hand to daughter-in-law even in her old age. She would spend her free
time in reading. She was not very fond of TV serials. She would even attempt to read simple
books in English. She was constantly worried about one thing and that was whether she
would remain fit till the end? She could not even toy with the idea of somebody taking care of
her when she would get confined to a bed. She never wanted to be a burden on anyone.
Due this anxiety, she exerted unnecessarily to prove that she was fit.
Her intelligence got good scope only after the sad demise of my dada in August 1969.
She had adjusted to that state much before his actual demise. ‘Sharada Mahila Mandal’ was
formed in 1970 by her friend Mrs. Ursekar. She won many trophies for the Mandal in
Bhagwat Geeta, essay writing, story telling etc. She acted as Secretary / Treasurer of the
Mandal for many years.
She was an asthma patient in her young age but never suffered acutely. During her old age
she suffered from BP. Before she expired, she lost her memory.
Somehow I never got along well with her. May be due to her inability to take decisions,
inability to take firm stand on any issue, her tendency to avoid confrontation even when she
was right etc. My nature is exactly the opposite. In the process, we always agreed to disagree.
I don’t intent to blame her for these weaknesses. This was probably the outcome of her
childhood and forceful compromise of early marriage; problems faced by her mother and
adjustment in life after marriage. However, I knew that she was inwardly worried about me
till end.
Two years prior to death, she was practically confined to bed. Mrs. Supriya (My vahini, wife
of my elder brother, Suresh) looked after her nicely. I openly salute Mrs. Supriya & Suresh
for this noble job.
My Mother finally left this world on 26-10-2004.
May her soul rest in peace.