2. Introduction/Thesis—15 pts
Hook: the very first sentence (s) of an essay,
intended to grab the reader's attention and stimulate
curiosity or strong emotions
● Think of how your topic applies to people in the real
world.
● Avoid falling into a “hook habit” by using the same
technique (famous quote, for example) in every
paper.
● Avoid dictionary definitions (not very interesting)
● http://toeflstar.com/?p=105 has great ideas!
3. Introduction/Thesis—15pts continued
Thesis Statement: a sentence or sentences that
provides a mini-outline of your essay
● Identify purpose (reason for writing). Ask
yourself “Why is this message important for
people to hear?”
View examples on p.14 of 40 Model Essays
*IMPORTANT: “to entertain” and “to
express” must be coupled with a more
specific purpose
● LIST points to be made in the body paragraphs
*Keep them in the same order as they will
appear in the body (this is “parallelism”)
4. Introduction/Thesis—15pts continued
● Provide necessary background information
– include any information that might help the
reader to better understand the topic
for example...
Historical details
Significant facts or statistics
Relevant current events
Explanation of anything that isn't general
knowledge (medical terms, legal jargon,
tools, etc)
Personal experience(s) that led up to your
selection of this topic
5. Body/Development—40 pts
● Each body paragraph should begin with a
topic sentence: a sentence that identifies the
main idea (point of focus) in the paragraph
● All paragraphs and related topic sentences
should help to develop the thesis statement
● Use plenty of detail and support in the body
paragraphs (a body paragraph should be
approximately ½ page when typed and double-
spaced)
● What is “support”? Facts, statistics, current or
historical events, personal life experiences,
expert opinion, related quotes, etc.
6. Body/Development—40 pts continued
● Organize the body paragraphs. Rather than
putting them in a random order, think about an
order that might be most effective
* http://toeflstar.com/?p=615 has great
ideas
● The entire essay should be 3-5 pages long
without padding (this means avoid statements
that merely reword how “interesting” something
is or how “wonderful” a writer is. Work to fill
the body paragraphs with meaningful support)
● Educate the audience on your topic. Use only
information that is truly meaningful. Avoid
repeating yourself or using dull details.
7. Conclusion—10 pts
● Show the importance of the thesis. This means
answering the question “so what?” (You have
communicated your message, but so what? What
will this communication accomplish?)
--How will this message affect readers and/or
the world in which we live?
--Will readers gain a better understanding of
something?
--Will readers change a behavior?
--Will readers make a choice?
8. Conclusion—10 pts continued
● DO NOT restate the entire introduction. Say
something different to keep the reader interested.
● Work to be persuasive. This is your last chance to
convince the reader of your purpose, so make it
count.
● DO reword the thesis statement purpose and list of
topics. Remember to keep those topics in the same
order as they appear in the body.
9. Style/Coherence—15 pts
● Use transitions, especially at the beginning of each
paragraph after the introduction. (See section 8e in
“The Writing Process” tab of The Everyday Writer
for details and examples)
● Use clear language. To insure this, read your paper
aloud. Ask a friend to read it aloud. Anything that is
even a bit difficult to understand should be revised
for clarity. (See sections 25-28 in the “Sentence
Style” tab of The Everyday Writer for details and
examples)
10. Style/Coherence—15 pts continued
● Use words appropriately. (See section 22 in the
“Language” tab of The Everyday Writer for further
explanation and examples.)
11. Style/Coherence—15 pts continued
● Keep sentence structure concise. (See section 28 in
the “Sentence Style” tab of The Everyday Writer for
further explanation and examples.)
--Eliminate “I phrases.” These are wordy phrases
that add nothing to the topic, such as “I think”, “I
feel”, or “In my opinion.” We assume this is your
opinion...your name is on the paper!
--avoid announcing parts of the assignment. “The
purpose of this paper is...” is an announcement.
Instead, begin with the actual purpose. “This paper
will focus on...” is an announcement.
● Use a variety of word choice. Find synonyms to
avoid repetition.
12. Grammar/Mechanics—15 pts
● Avoid general errors in grammar and mechanics.
Using grammar check or having another person
review for grammar errors can help. (See section 1
of the “About College Writing” tab in The Everyday
Writer for the most common errors.)
● Avoid pronoun reference errors and the word “you”
(See section 33g of the “Sentence Grammar” tab in
The Everyday Writer for specifics.)
● Use correct punctuation and spelling. Activating and
using “spell check” on your computer is a must.
● Omit typographical errors (typos). Read carefully
for this before submitting the final draft.