2. PET
Screaming inside
Bleeding inside
Blood curdling yells
From the bowels of hell.
Throw me some rope
Cut me some slack
Pull me out
Or put a lid on it.
Waiting for the snap
Of my spine
When you say my name.
Haunted by the figure
Of an ex-lover.
Lock the door
Keep the noise down
Keep my ear to the ground.
What are you doing now?
I have three guesses
But I know, I know
Feel sick deep down
In the pit of my stomach
Nausea
At the thought of you
And him.
Pull me out
Or put a lid on it.
Knock me out
With your beaming smile
Kick me harder
With your poisonous tongue
Burn me
Burn me
Fucking get out the matches
Strike
One by one
We'll all fall down
Drag me around
I'm on the lead
You tie me up
When you go to the shops
Leave me in the car
When you go to fuck him
Take me for a walk
When you’re bored with everything else.

3. FRONTIER
Spiny thoughts, spiny minds
Loves frontier is locked, as is time
Keep it up, slow me down
Keep up with me, hands held high.
Answer every one
We've framed the pretty and the young
What I give you, what I can give
Won't help you die, won't help you live.
Myth and legend
Seeps through the cold classroom
I remember what isn't real
It sends me to my knees.
When you take off, in full flight
I'm rooted to the ground
Can't leave, won't follow
You should stay behind.

4. FROZEN
Alone in the bright white aisles
I stand
Put another seedless grape in my mouth
The music makes me want to dance
But it's too cold
In the ice compartment.
Yoghurt and
Cake
And then
Yoghurt
And
Drinking and drinking
Life accelerates, over takes me
But here in the white aisles
My friendly bright aisles
I can live a quiet life
Escape
Set my own pace
Talk to potatoes, baguettes and turkeys
My mate Marmite
Biscuits and Smarties.

5. BEDTIME
It came to me in a sudden flash
Go to bed, get some rest
The TV is flickering
I can barely hear it
People in the kitchen
Distant swearing.
Here in my cage
I ponder and plot
Here I'm safe
To dream of something I'm not.
You're on my mind
You always are
So do something
Or do nothing
But please leave my head
As my eyes fight the fight
Of staying open and awake
I will drift to my other world
Fiction, fantasy, the fake.

6. NIGHTMARES
In the dark
When the shadows flicker and fade
A cold shiver
A bead of perspiration
Eyes closed
Fists clenched.
A glimmer
A sudden flash of light
That grows
As pupils shrink.
There it is now
An open door
A ball of white
But movement never comes
The mind no longer permits it
Paralysis
Heat
And icy cold fears
Close the door.

7. INEVITABLE
Easy to hide behind a smile
The sky bends my back
A crooked shape remains.
Just to have you whisper in my ear
Would it make it all complete?
I don't think you appreciate
The lengths I would go to
But I know it's hard to get along
When we've nothing left to say.
I know I can't make up my mind
Conversations brewed from frustration
Situations born from a vacuum
We're all ready to explode,
Let me know when you want to go.

8. LONELY GARDEN DOES ALL THE TALKING
Uneven grass
Little black oval eyes
Sun in and out
Never quite bright
I shiver with fear
Not daylight or dark
Not delight at the blue sky
I'm waiting for nothing
Because I have too much to do.
I want to be
Gloriously in love
But however hard I try
I find no such feeling
Not an inch or a glimpse
About anyone.
A feeling
A hunch
That a spider was on my neck
The pill box
Chuckles, rattles
On my left
Never the right
In the distance
A pelican
Crossing
Another person
Must be living.

9. MONTHS
Escape, escape
This lack of pace
This waiting game
I've signed up to play.
Take me
To a place
That I know
We've been before
Why can't you wake
And let me
Sit down
You do the work
I've got a stripy jumper
Want you to wear it
If I gave you a flower
Would you care for it?
Changing gear
When the clutch isn't down
Unsettled, unrested
Back down to earth.

10. HEADACHE
I really hope
You know what you are doing
I really hope
You know where you have been.
And
I am
Sick
And
I am
Twisted
And
I never want to tell you
Where the world was before
I never want to show you
Where we're going to go
To now.
A certain premonition
A certain
Sense of doom.
Ink spills
From my ears
Your voice scratching inside my head
"Won't you let me out?"
Because I know
You want to leave
I'll never
Let you leave.

11. THE OTHER ROOM
Maybe one day
I kid myself
This phase will pass
I laugh
Half knowing, half hoping
And all in all
Simply avoiding.
Rushing through days
Get them out of the way
Over and out
Dreaming and drifting
Soaking up people
Wandering and waiting
Too discontent.
So talk and talk
Usual and banal
Almost listening, but not quite
The restless aggravation
Wanting to be in another room
But too scared
I know I'd hate the other room.
Up and down these stairs
Every second
Of every day
Footsteps like a heartbeat
Will soon catch up
And like a madman
Scream "gotcha!"
"I gotcha!"
And you turn, slow at first
And face the creature in the silly mask.

12. DOWNFALL
Correct
Project me
Scratch my eyes out
Sink your teeth in
I want to die
In your arms
I want to feel
That scream.
Push me
Catch me
Pull me to the floor
Telepathic, make believe
I want you
To pull the plug.
I'll do nothing for you
You won't smile at me again
I'll bleed behind these eyes
I'll give to the count of ten.
Turn me
Spin me
Hang me out to dry
I'll fit into your tin box
You pass me liquids
Through the lock.
Please don't hurt me
Any more
Should I have to ask
For it to stop?
I'm still hurting
In agony
You can pass the plaster
You can wind the bandage
Tighter.

13. THE PRETENDING GAME
I had a dream I couldn't recollect
I had a vision of you in another room.
Do you remember?
That game we used to play?
When we assumed it was all pure hate?
Fighting, screaming, tearing each other apart.
I've often asked, in my mind
Is that what you really meant?
The pretending game.
Tell me that's what it is.
I wish you could be honest
Perhaps you are.
Is it because you're beautiful?
Is it because I'll leave tomorrow morning with a smile on my face?
Quietly, inside
I'm feeling
Things I only feel in films
When there is silence
When two pairs of eyes are locked
For a second, a moment
It just might be-
The lights go down.
You call me a name and curse out loud
And I laugh in your face
Pretending again
That it doesn't matter
When
All I want is the world to vanish
Leaving-

14. BLIND EYE
Save me
Some time
And you'll be saving some
Heartache.
Happiness
Is illusory?
Well I guess I must concede.
Can't seem to see or feel
No more.
So I guess you're right this time.
I'll borrow today
Can give too much tomorrow
You'll take it all away
As I turn a blind eye.
The blind eye
Hurts me
More than you
Doesn't tell me what to do
But it drags me down
With what it cannot see
The fool.
Beware my wordy friends
Those utterances
Can't make amends
When they slip off the tongue
I won't call your bluff
But I'm sure to watch you fall
And when you try to take my hand
I don't think I can look at you.
Beware my anxious friends
Your fear is no defence
It leaves gaps around the edges
You may drown with remorse.
So when I strive not to give a damn
Again blaming the blind eye
Be sure to point me in the right direction
When you can spare a little time.

15. LULLABY
Frank sings
Easing the pain
Momentarily
We feel
That nothing will get in our way.
Now I see
All the signs point to me
With the rising of the sun
It dawns
That with every our
Wasted thinking
Twists the knife in deeper.
With the setting of the sun
I picture you in perfect slumber
Not a care in the world
Not a care for me
No knowledge of anguish
As your breathing deepens
In perfect harmony
You drift to the sound of Frank.

16. FORWARD
Self preservation
You found fault with the norm
The Piper at the Gates of Dawn
Comfort in the blues
Comfort in the absurd
Existentialist, no less!
Without hope
Indifferent
How much of this is a construct?
How much of this is sinking in?
I turn in on my last
At ease with this appease
You've thrust upon me
No one
No one
No one
Who did this to me?
Who then holds the key?
Who'll let me go?
Only connect
Let's pretend
That New Forest fears
Bittersweet tears
The orange walk home
Happened by chance.
Jules Verne took me on a trip
Eating Skittles
Delving deep
Discussions of Godot
Threaten to overwhelm
Teetering on the edge
Of pretension
We force for the second day.