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Oh $h@# - How to deal with emotional outbursts and hate in social situations
1. Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Oh $h@#! How to deal with
emotional outbursts and hate in
social situations
Daniel Lieber, IIUI
dlieber@iiui.com
@danlieber
3. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of
his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to
hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for
love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Nelson Mandela
Long Walk to Freedom
4. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of
his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to
hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for
love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Nelson Mandela
Long Walk to Freedom
We all want to live within a safe community.
5. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Dramatic Hate Increase
• People are taught to hate.
• Nationalism has brought hate into open.
• Increase in hate incidents in 2017 over
2016:
6. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Dramatic Hate Increase
• People are taught to hate.
• Nationalism has brought hate into open.
• Increase in hate incidents in 2017 over
2016:
ADL Report, 2/27/2018
11. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Personal, Recent Example in Social Media
12. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Online Social Bullying
• Takes many forms
• Causes Emotional
Harm
• Shown with
Discomfort
13. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Online Social Bullying
• Takes many forms
• Causes Emotional
Harm
• Shown with
Discomfort
• Examples:
• Belittling
• Othering
• Target of “jokes” (even
by association)
• Group behavior, e.g.
ostracizing, exclusion
14. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Situational Awareness!
15. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Being and Promoting Active Bystandership
• In the Moment
• Later
16. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Understand Inhibitors to Active
Bystandership
• How can you break the inhibitors?
17. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Goal: De-escalate the situation
18. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Goal: De-escalate the situation
• Idea: Distract in the situation
19. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Goal: De-escalate the situation
• Idea: Distract in the situation
• Stay safe: Be aware of Danger
20. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Situational Awareness!
• Being and Promoting Active Bystandership
• In the Moment
• Later
• Understand Inhibitors to Active Bystandership
• How can you break the inhibitors?
• Goal: De-escalate the situation
• Idea: Distract in the situation
• Stay safe: Be aware of Danger
21. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Situational Awareness!
• Being and Promoting Active Bystandership
• In the Moment
• Later
• Understand Inhibitors to Active Bystandership
• How can you break the inhibitors?
• Goal: De-escalate the situation
• Idea: Distract in the situation
• Stay safe: Be aware of Danger
Don’t Harm the Harm Doer!
22. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Respect
• Not pressuring others to admit “harm doing”,
“fault”, or “wrongdoing”
• Understanding
• Patience
23. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Techniques for Addressing Discrimination,
Hate, and other Harms
• Respect
• Not pressuring others to admit “harm doing”,
“fault”, or “wrongdoing”
• Understanding
• Patience
Don’t Harm the Harm Doer!
24. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
Campaigns for a more respectful culture
Freely available with other languages and countries at https://hatehasnohomehere.org
THE CYBERSMILE FOUNDATION
https://www.cybersmile.org
25. Social Connections 14 Berlin, October 16-17 2018
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate
cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.