Everyone must know how to appreciate and respect others

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Appreciation Skills
(The Power of
Complementing)
S. Thilaganathan

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INTRODUCTION
Similar Meaning
 Appreciation
 Complements
 Praise
 Commendation
 Admiration
 Adoration
 Recognition

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The Urge to be Important
 The greatest urge in human nature is
the urge to be important - John Dewey
• Everyone wants recognition.
• Everyone wants to be taken notice
• No body likes to be by-passed.
 The deepest principle in human
nature is the craving to be
appreciated. - Williams James

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Deepest Human Need
 Next to food, man’s deepest hunger
is for appreciation.
 People crave for appreciation and
encouragement

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Appreciating Others is
Essential:
 Appreciation cannot come within. It can
come only from outside.Therefore we
must appreciable others.
 Appreciation means rise in value or
estimation. When the value of a thing
rises the possessor is gratified.
 The people who are not interested in
others have the greatest difficulties in life
and provide the greatest injury to others.

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BENEFITS OF
COMPLEMENTATION

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It is Powerful
 Appreciation is life boosting tonic.
 It is a language which the deaf can
hear.
 The blind can see.

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It is Natural
 Appreciation is a flower of fine
character.
 Appreciation is a flower of love.
 Appreciation is the essence of
human kindness.

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Appreciation Gives
Strengths
 Words of praise, encouragement,
gratitude, thanks-giving will radiate
energy.
 A weak person can be praised into
strong one
 A fearful heart into poise and power.

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Develop the best in a Man
 Appreciation develop the best in a
man
 Appreciation gives encouragement.
 Appreciation stimulate people
– Nothing will stimulate a person more
than sincere appreciation and praise.

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Appreciation Helps you
 Helps in daily life situations
– Family life, Social life, Work life
 Helps in casual encounters
– Give warm compliment to even to a stranger
(waiter, cashier). It will work
– You can say,
• how nice person’s looks,
• how beautiful person’s dress
• how pleasing person’s voice,
• the likes you have not seen before
 appreciation does not cost you.

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Giving Criticism
 Giving criticism is easy but giving
complements is difficult.
 Difficulties in giving complements.
 Ability to give criticism is high. Ability to
give complement is low.
 Mastered expressing criticism but not
mastered expressing appreciation.
 Every one criticism learn to praise 5
complement a day.

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Difficulties in Giving
Complements
 It is not very easy.
 It is not safe. It may work against
you.
 It may be risky.
 It may be rejected.
 It may be misunderstood.
 It may not be welcome by the people
or society.

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Giving complement is an
Ability
 It is an ability.

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Giving Complement is a
Behavior
 It is a learned behavior.
– We must be assertive to give
complement, We need to practice
– It is not natural for all

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It is a feeling.
 To complement we must have feeling

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It is an attitude
– To give complement we must have
positive attitude

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It is a skill
 To complement we must learn the
skills of praising
 Giving complement varies from
society to society.

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Accepting Complements

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Problems of Accepting
Complements
 We don’t accept complement
readily.
 We give a defensive reaction to
complements.
 Not accepting complement is a
sign of put down.

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Reasons for not accepting
the complements
 Childhood education.
 We were told not to be boastful in
our talents.
 It is embarrassing the people.
 Not sure about the complement
(fair/genuine).
 It can be annoyment.

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Responding to Complements
 We must learn to accept the
complement.
 Never dismiss complement.
 Try to smile and say “Thank
you.”
 Learn to receive prize openly.
 Accept complement without
embarrassment.

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Do’s and Dont’s
 Avoid brush-off such as
– It was nothing.
– It is not my work.
– It is only the doctor’s help
– It is because of others.
– I am not very good really.

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Do’s :
 Accept complement gracefully and
assertively.
Examples 1/2
–Thank you for your complement.
–I have been working really hard
……
–I am glad to notice it.
–I am glad you liked it.

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 Accept complement gracefully and assertively
Examples 2/2
– I like trying new………
– Yes I wanted to produce ……..
– It is nice to know it is succeeded.
– Thank you so much, I didn’t even realize.
– Thank you, I am pleased to hear …….
Do’s

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Accepting Complements
Rule
 Show your feelings pleasure when
receiving complements.
 By words, facial expressions, smile,
etc.
Examples
– Thanks for telling me.
– It is encouraging to know.

27. Effective Appreciation

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Ways of showing appreciation:
 Make other person feel important, get
elated, highly spirited.
 Ask for his opinion
 Show him you respect his ideas and
opinion
 Show interest and value his opinion
 Show appreciation of others intrinsic
qualities.
 Show what you have:
– If you love show that you love. No use of
showing “I love you” in tomb-stone.

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 Four Steps
– Specifically tell or link what the person
did right
– Tell how you feel about what they did
– Tell them what its shows about them
– Tell them you the type of person of
some quality
• E.g.
– You are perfect; That is why you are successful
in life
– Your xxxx is xxx; That is why you are xxxx
Appreciation Steps

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Appreciation Step
 If you want to get what you want tell
the person gently and kindly:
– how good he is.
– How much you think of him
– what a fine person he is
– how much others like him
– tell the good you know of him.

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Workshop for Effective
Appreciation

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Workshop-1
 Praising Others
 Getting their feedback

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General Praise Vs Target Praise
 Goal
– General
– Specific (Behaviour Praise)

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General
 I want my child to be better

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Specific (Behaviour Praise)
 Improve my child’s manners at home
 Increase my child’s play with other
children

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Examples of Effective Praise
 Nice Work Making your bed
 Well Done You put away all the
toys
 I Noticed Your helped your
sister get a drink.
That was kind
 I’m Glad
 Good Try

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Workshop-2
 Strengths Bombardments

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Developing Specific
Behavior
 Identify praising goal
– Improve grades
– Improve manners or skills
 Identify the specific behavior
 Praise effectively

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Avoid Split Praise
 Split complement
– One part complement other part
criticism
 Comparative complement
 Negative comparison
 Using ‘BUT after positive -bad
 Using ‘BUT after negative -good

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Terms Used in Appreciation
 Recognition,
 Compliments,
 Appreciation,
 Praise,
 Encouragement,
 Adoration,
 Motivation,
 Admiration,
 Notice,
 Commendation,
 Attention

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Ten Tips For Effective
Appreciation
 Complements must be
given immediately
 Complement must be
given regularly
 Complements must be
given frequently
 Complements must be
given consistently
 Complement must be
specific (behaviour
achievement)
 You must make other
person feel it and
value
 Give complement
assertively
 Feel good in giving
complement
 It must be natural and
spontaneous

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Work Situation - Praising
 Praising is a powerful motivator any
company can afford
 Praising will never break a
company’s budget

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Work Situation
 Appreciation from the manager is the
one of the incentive the workers want
most
 58% of the workers said they are not
praised
 Managers are busy; no time to praise

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Tips
 Making praise is part of your habit to
do list
 Be prompt
 Praising becomes more effective
when it comes soon after
 The desired behaviour is displayed
 Be sincere. It is not sincere you will
only sound manipulative

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Tips
 Be positive, People under at praise
with the concluding note of praise
– E.g You did a great job but there are few
typing errors
 Post pone the corrective feed back
another time

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