The super secrets of great negotiators, both men and women. I gave this presentation to the Association of Legal Administrators. That's why there's a story about law firm management in it. I always tailor my trainings to the people I'm training (you'd think all speakers would do this but they don't)

1. ALA Seminar
Negotiating
Pink and Blue
Victoria Pynchon, Esq.
She Negotiates Coaching and Training
SheNegotiates.com
She Negotiates at ForbesWoman

2. Every
negotiation is
an attempt to
resolve a
conflict

3. • see the big picture
• work through steps
• share experiences
• learn what both
sides could gain Bargaining
• focus on what both
sides need Advantages
• attempt to satisfy
both parties needs

4. BARGAINING
DISADVANTAGES
• Value relationship over money
• Don’t like anchoring high
• Afraid asking for too much will make
bargaining partner withdraw
• Work faster and longer for same
benefit
• Don’t recognize the opportunity to
negotiate

5. • feel advantage
• feel entitled Bargaining
Advantages
• less likely to back down
• view negotiation from
more self-serving
perspective
• stronger speakers
• seek more power
• intimidate

6. Bargaining
Disadvantages
• Little inquiry into partner’s
needs/desires
• Tends to move quickly
toward threat
• Won’t share information
• Doesn’t believe win-win
possible or desirable

7. Perceived Relative
Deprivation
+
Injurious Event
=
Naming, Blaming
and Claiming

8. • $250 million antitrust
lawsuit
• Lose 3 associates
• originating partner knows
nothing
• client hires new trial team
• Several colleagues know I’m
looking
• Business manager
– “I’m concerned for you”
– “Absent favorable
recommendation, no move”

9. STAKEHOLDERS
NEW
COUNSEL
ME
SENIOR
me YOU
CLIENT PARTNER

10. What
conflict?

11. NEW If you complain,
COUNSEL
you won’t have
this client’s
business ever me
again

12. WHAT DOES EVERYONE WANT?
NEW
COUNSEL
CLIENT me SENIOR
PARTNER

13. Getting Them to Do What They
Don’t Want to Do

15. INGRATIATION

16. PROMISES

17. THREATS

18. SHAMING

19. GAMESMANSHIP

20. PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

21. Mutual Benefit Negotiation
NEW
COUNSEL ME
SENIOR
PARTNER
CLIENT

22. Ask Diagnostic Questions
• Who
• What
• When
• Where
• Why
• How

23. Identify Interests

25. Reason Giving
• 98% compliance
• 97% compliance
• 60% compliance

26. PUT AS MANY OPTIONS
ON THE TABLE AS POSSIBLE

27. MAKE CONCESSIONS
DEMAND RECIPROCITY

28. LOG ROLL

29. Negotiating
from a
Position of
Weakness

30. Behind every
accusation is a
cry for help

31. • Value your piece of the
puzzle
• View yourself as powerful &
an influence for good
– Power of
personality/presence
– Power of expertise
• Deepen relationships
• Set agenda & deliver the
goods
Gloria Feldt, former PP CEO,
No Excuses - Nine Ways – Lead staff rather than
Women Can Change the Way follow “boss”
We Think about Power – Empower yourself & take
action

32. Are they liars, cheats and
thieves or do they have
hidden interests.
– Personal (unrelated to
you or deal)
– Relational (related to you
but not to deal, i.e.,
“face”)
– Political, social, cultural

33. • Are they difficult or simply
uninformed
– Educate them about their true
interests, consequences of their
actions, our BATNA
– Help them understand what is in
their best interest
– Determine whether they’ve
misunderstood or ignored a crucial
piece of information

34. Are they irrational or are
they operating under
hidden constraints
– Institutional
– Precedential
– Promises to others
• Hidden
stakeholders
– Deadlines

35. Close!